So how am I supposed to win a fight against the God of Chaos? Vesper's done it a few times so it can't be that hard. Yeah, but she probably saw Sky beat their version. Plus she's a lot more violent than I am. That's true. Maybe I can blackmail him and skip fighting. What do I mean? How would I blackmail him? I've never even seen him conscious, so I have no idea how he'll act. If the universe is his plaything, then he probably won't like the idea of it ending. That's just convincing in general, not blackmailing. Same thing! I landed next to the statue of Discord.

"I know how the petrification spell works," I told the forever screaming statue, "so I know that you can hear me talking. The universe is going to end in about a week, and the only way to stop is to go into an alternate universe and ham-slam the female version of myself that lives there. I know you'll help me with this, because if the universe is destroyed, you'll be bored as shit. So... Help me and stuff. Yeah."

The statue stayed motionless.

"Don't give me that look! Okay, my plan is a bit simple considering I'm supposed to be saving the universe and all that, but I know I can do it!"

The statue stayed motionless.

"Okay, maybe I don't know can do it. But this is my only chance at trying! So I've got to try."

The statue stayed motionless.

"I'll let you borrow my daughter's sex slave! Well, if she's okay with it. She might be a bit clingy with him. He's sort of her plaything."

The statue stayed motionless.

"That's a good point."

The statue stayed motionless.

"True."

The statue stayed motionless.

"No, what did she call you?"

The statue stayed motionless.

"Ha, that's just like her."

The statue stayed motionless.

"Wow. You must have really pissed her off."

The statue stayed motionless.

"Anyway, I'm gonna release you now. Don't mess shit up." I lit up my horn, focused my magic and began the counter spell. The statue glowed in a warm light blue coloured light. After about a minute, the light faded to reveal the stone melting like ice, releasing Discord. He yawned and stretched out, making popping noises in his joints.

"Let's get this over with," he sighed, lifting up his claw arm.

"Why so bored?" His arm dropped and he sat down on the podium thingy he was on top of.

"One thousand years ago it took the ultimate artifacts of this world to stop me. These days, it's just one psychotic mare."

"She's more of a sociopath than a psychopath."

"Either way it's still the same. And another thing! Those annoying cultist ass-kissers! I mean really; why would you want to release the God of Chaos to destroy slash rule the world? It's not going to be any better for them. In fact, it's worse! They're mortals for crying out loud! They're supposed to be stupid and fun to toy with! No offense."

"None taken. I know exactly what you mean as well, it's just as bad on the hero side of things. 'Oh no! Help me! My foal is rolling off of a cliff!' Why do you take a foal to cliff in the bucking first place if not to throw them off?! But then if you don't save everypony all the time, the world ends in stupid and convoluted ways involving time travel."

"...And then nobody can have fun." We both sighed.

"It's nice to have somepo- somebody to vent with about this shit."

"Its nice to have a conversation at all. Do you know how cramped you get from standing still for a thousand years? Very. You get very cramped." He stood back up and stretched out. "I should probably just send you on your way."

"Okay. Hey, maybe I can convince Celestia to try and 'reform' you. So we can talk more often." Discord scoffed.

"Like that would ever happen." I shrugged.

"You never know. Do you know where to send me?"

"Yes, there was a universal disturbance when I was freed a few months back. The mare that defeated me was connected to it. I take it that's where you need to go?"

"Yeah, that's it."

"Good, that saves time. I can only keep you there for two weeks at the most, but you don't have enough time for that anyway."

"What happens when you can't keep me there?"

"You'll be pulled back into this universe. Well, bye." Discord snapped his talons.

"Wait, I'm not-"

I was torn from reality.

Author's Notes:

To the R63 'verse!

---

You could say this was a 'Draconequus Quest'.