"My subjects will never again suffer from your nightmares!" I yelled, charging up my horn as I stalled for time. "I shall defeat you and make it so that you can never hurt anypony ever again!" The Dog snarled and summoned another magical mace as well as golden plated armour across her whole body.

"It's you who'll be defeated, you false god!" She yelled back. "I'll defeat you, your sister and your attack dog!" There was a short tense silence.

"Is... Is that not a weird thing for you to say?!"

"Why would that be?!"

"Because you are a... You know!"

"It's a general phrase! Species has nothing to do with it!"

"It has everything to do with it with this phrase, however! That is the whole point of the phrase!"

"Screw you! I'll give you the fight of your very, very long life!"

"You?! Ha! I have fought a being tougher than you that was not even in possession of armour, gold or not!"

"And once again you go on about your pathetic attack dog!"

"Actually, I was referring to the being Discord!"

"Oh!"

"I can see why you were confused, what with the dreamscape set to where I fought Cloud and how we were just talking about him!"

"Yeah, I just kinda assumed that part, sorry about that!"

"Do not worry about it! It happens to everypony!"

"Why are we yelling, by the way?! We're barely ten meters away from each other!"

"Dramatic effect, I suppose!"

"Oh, right! Killing you and all that!"

"Yes! We seem to have gone off subject slightly!"

"Right, right! Sorry about that! I'm kinda new to this whole 'super villain' thing!"

"You pick it up fairly quickly, trust me!"

"Good to know, thank you!"

"You are welcome!"

"We should fight now!" I checked my horn to find it fully charged.

"Yes we should!"

"Okay!" The Dog screamed and charged towards me. I held my ground and, at the last second, dodged out of the way of her downward mace swing. The miss caused her to lose balance giving me enough time to spin around and buck her hard in the head, severely damaging her golden helmet. I then teleported a few meters back as she cried out in pain and desperately tried to remove the helmet.

On the third try she succeeded and through it to the floor before turning to me with a righteous fury in her eyes, but, before she could say anything dramatic, I fired a mid strength magic bolt directly at her face. She impressed me with her reaction time by deflecting it with her mace made of pure white magical energy. The Dog smirked.

"Ha!" She ha-ed. "What now, Princess? I know how magic works, and you just shot your whole load on a failed magic bolt!" I smirked back.

"You know magic? Ha!" I ha-ed back. "You may know basic magic, but Alicorn horns are very different to a Unicorn's! A Unicorn must continually recharge their horn in order to cast lengthy spells and may have very little magical capacity to fire one-shot spells, but an Alicorn just has to lock their horn at a specific strength and then shall stay at that by default!" The smile slid off of her face to be replaced by a horrified grimace.

"W-What?! But that's not possible! When an Equine uses their magic, they start to run out of their normal energy!" My smirk grew further as I recalled a similar discussion with a certain Unicorn at a certain pancake eating contest.

"That may be true, but Alicorns have unlimited normal energy storage! Not only that, but the dream realm will constantly refuel my abilities! I am almost literally immortal here!" The Dog's face paled.

"So, uh, I'm having a change of heart here, can we just tal-?" I cut her off by blasting her with a magical beam of wet dreams, enough to make any adolescent die from dehydration but still with enough power to melt flesh! The Dog once again proved her skill with reaction times by summoning a dream-replica of Captain Equestria's shield and deflecting it to the dream-sky.

I cut off the beam and immediately teleported behind her. I then blasted the dream-air around her with an extreme freeze ray, encasing her within a block of ice. Not missing a beat(ing), I summoned a dream-bus-chariot, took to the reins and crashed into the ice, smashing it along with the Dog, but as quick as I summoned the bus, the Dog's body pieces flew back together.

"You forget, Princess," the Dog said angrily, "you may be immortal here, but so am I! I could do this forever!"

"Very well!" I shouted. "You wish to be trapped in the dream realm for eternity-"

"Not what I said!"

"-and become the next Nightmare Moon?! So be it!" I concentrated all of my dark powers to summon the Entity of Ultimate Evil™ to me. A dark object blocked out the dream-sunlight/moonlight, shrouding our battlefield in darkness. The Dog looked up in horror.

"W-What is that thing?!"

"The true embodiment of nightmares and the means to your suffering; the Tantabus!" The Tantabus descended on the Dog and coated her in its darkness, muffling her screams as it dragged her into her own mind and trapping her inside an eternal nightmare.

I turned away from where they just were and put on some bad-plot sunglasses. Now this is a story that shall get me laid!

Author's Notes:

a magical beam of wet dreams

The not-Nightmare Moon version of her beam of nightmares; a beam of mares (and/or stallions ) of the night!