Inside a dark, decaying building, was Pinkamena. She was wearing a black hooded cloak, sitting on top of her Sweet Tooth and looking down at three ponies.

The first was a beige unicorn stallion wearing a red suit and en equally red mask, which revealed only his horn, his eyes and his muzzle. A butterfly knife Cutie Mark adorned his flank.

The second was a young white pegasus stallion wearing a red shirt, a black cap and headphones, with bandages wrapped around his forehooves. He had a backpack with a metal baseball bat in it. His Cutie Mark was a pair of crossed baseball bats with a baseball on the middle.

The third pony's gender was a mistery; it was an earth pony wearing a red fire retardant suit and a black optical gas mask. On the flank of the suit was the drawing of a yellow flame.

"Thank you for coming, gentlecolts." she said. "As I already explained, you owe me a favor and today is the day you're quitting that debt!"

"Sure thing, Pinks!" the pegasus said, grabbing his bat and swinging it. "So, whose skull do ya want me to soften?"

"I called you all here because you are... Well, not the best, but at least you get the job done. Have you heard of this contest, Twisted Metal?"

"But of course!" the masked unicorn said, levitating a cigarette into his mouth and lighting it. "Everypony is talking about it, it's hard to not have heard." he then blew a cloud of smoke. "Personally, I believe this 'anything you wish' prize to be nothing but a hoax."

Pinkamena smirked. "A hoax, eh, Spy? Well, let me tell you something. I won the Twited Metal contest last month, and guess what?" she removed her hood and pointed a forehoof at the blue horn on her forehead. "This wasn't a Hearth's Warming gift!"

"Mes dieux!" he said, his cigarette falling from his mouth. The other two ponies looked surprised too.

"Since when are ya an unicorn, Pinks?" the pegasus asked.

"Since last month's Twisted Metal! And this month, I'm going to be the host."

"And ya want us to...?"

"I've been participating of all the Twisted Metal contests since the first that took place in the Canterlot Gardens, and I noticed something... Well, distressing."

"And what is it?"

"Incapable drivers! So many of the drivers get kicked out of the competition within the first few minutes, and that makes it reeeeeeally boring. This is why I called you all here, Spy, Scout and Pyro!"

"Make the contest more difficult and therefore longer, thus more 'fun' for you to watch!" Spy said, levitating a second cigarette to his mouth. "Why is it always this time of year we get assignments like this? Still not the strangest, though."

"Well, a favor is a favor, and we owe ya one." Scout looked at Spy and Pyro; both nodded. "We're in!"

Pyro laughed gleefully while clopping his hooves together happily.

Pinkamena grinned. "Perfect! And I have the perfect cars waiting for you."

"No way!" Rainbow Dash said, crossing her forelegs in front of her chest. "No freaking way! I will never ever ever join forces with Discord."

"Pardon me, Princess, but I'm with Rainbow Dash." Applejack/Rarity said. "Discord brought us nothing but suffering, why should we let him join our team, as if he's an ally?"

"Discord promised us that he will help stop Twisted Metal, and I'm willing to give him a chance." Celestia said. "Pinkamena stole his magic, he's harmless now."

The room was a complete silence, until Twilight sighed and spoke up:

"If the Princesses is giving Discord the benefit of the doubt, then so will I!"

"Oh, thank you so much, Twilight Sparkle!" Discord said, lifting the young Alicorn. "You truly are a frien--"

"First, don't touch me!" she said harshly, looking at him with an angry expression. "Now put me down."

With a smile, Discord gently placed Twilight back on the floor and patted her head, only for her to magically move his head to behind his back, armlocking him. Discord moaned in pain.

"I said don't touch me." she repeated, this time sounding more calm. "Are we clear?" Discord nodded his head several times as fast as he could, until Twilight released his arm. "I'm not doing this for you, but for the Princesses. I don't trust you. I don't like you. In fact, if Princess Celestia or Princess Luna decide to ask for my opinion regarding your punishment, I will be sure to suggest the most painful non-lethal punishments used in pony history. You are responsible for the death of one of my closest friends, the fall into madness of other and major depression of another, not to mention the hundreds, maybe thousands of deaths of ponies and other creatures caused by your Twisted Metal. I really hope the Alicorn powers you gave me also granted me immortality, because I would love to watch you wither in the dungeons for eternity!"

The four ponies in the room were looking at the purple Alicorn, all of them baffled, Rainbow Dash with her mouth hanging open. Discord simply chuckled.

"Guess that's what I deserve, huh?"

"And I'm not even getting started."

"I will face my punishment like a true Draconequus, Miss Sparkle. But after the tournament is terminated. Until then, remember that we're teammates!"

"You will never be our teammate. An ally, maybe, I'm still not sure, but you will never be one of us, because you will never give us a reason to trust you, no matter what you say or do."

"Not even if I..." he looked at Rainbow Dash and, with a smile, pointed at her. "...give her a new wing?"

"Likely story, Dip-cord!" Rainbow Dash said, crossing her forelegs and looking away. "Pinkie took away your magic, remember?"

"Most of it, yes, but not all of it. I can still perform some smaller tricks, but..."

"But...?"she opened an eye, looking at him, but with her head still turned the other way.

"It will cause me some very nasty headaches. You may believe that I'm as mean as Hades himself, but even I'm not very keen to self-harming. But judging by Miss Sparkle's speech, that's exactly what you'd want, eh?"

Discord approached the pegasus mare and placed his hand on the stub on the left side of her body. She quickly jumped to the side and raised her left hindleg, as if trying to protect her body with it. Discord gave her the most convincent of the fake smiles.

"Just give me a chance."

Rainbow Dash looked at her friends and the Princesses. Neither of them told her to agree, but also neither of them told her to refuse. She sighed and slowly lowered her leg.

"Make it quick!"

Discord touched her back once again and closed his eyes. The stub began to glow and suddenly her wing bones grew back, soon followed by the muscles and tendons, then the skin and, finally, the blue feathers. The Draconequus removed his hand from her back and fell on the floor, clutching his head, gasping and moaning in pain.

Rainbow Dash's eyes widened. After a few moments staring at the wing, she flapped it a couple of times. A huge grin adorned her face and she quickly ran to the balcony.

"Rainbow, wait!" Twilight shouted, but it was too late and the pegasus jumped. The four ponies ran to the balcony and looked down, only to see Rainbow Dash fly upwards and past them.

"YEAHHHHHH, I'M FLYING!" she shouted while doing Barrel Rolls.

"Trust me now?" Discord asked while getting up, still rubbing the hornless side of his head.

"Hay no! But..." Twilight sighed, then turned around to look at him. "...I haven't seen her that happy in a long time. So, for that, thank you!"

Discord smirked. "You are quite welcome, Twilight Sparkle!"

Ponyville Outskirts. Fluttershy's Cottage. The curtains were closed and the house was almost empty, save for the yellow pegasus mare sitting at the table and a red life-sized pony doll was sitting on another chair. Her pink mane was a mess and she had dried tears on her cheeks. Standing near her was a white bunny, looking at her with lots of concern is his eyes.

"Would you like some more tea, Big Mac?" she asked, holding a teapot. "Oh! Yes, of course. Silly me. You haven't finished your first one." she put the teapot back down. "What about some cookies? No? A cupcake? Muffin? Oh, you're not hungry, right. Do you want something, then? What was that Big Mac? You... You want to live again? I'm sorry, but I can't... I know, but-- I'm sorry, I-- But... You--" Fluttershy sighed. "Okay, okay, I'll do it."

After several days locked inside her own house, Fluttershy finally opened the front door of her cottage. The sun hurt her eyes, so she closed them and covered her face with a foreleg. After a few moments, she moved her foreleg away and opened her eyes; the sun was still making her uncomfortable, but it wasn't painful anymore. She slowly moved toward the back of her house, where her Buggy was parked; it was covered in dust and leaves, but nothing a good cleaning couldn't fix.

"Looks like Discord's got himself another driver for this month's... Contest!"

All the contestants were parked outside a not very big warehouse. Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Applejack/Rarity were in their same old cars, Rainbow Dash grinning like crazy, looking at her right wing while flapping both.

Scout was sitting in his red Camaro, checking himself out on the rearview mirror. "Hey there, good lookin'. Ready to Bonk! somepony into next week? You bet I am!" he said while still looking at his reflection.

Spy deposited the ashes of his cigarette on the ashtray of his white Bugatti, then levitated it back into his mouth.

Pyro was checking all the buttons of his customized Fire Truck, then pressed one of them, making flames shoot out of the hose mounted on top of it. He clopped his hooves, giggling.

"Where is he?" Twilight asked, rhythmically tapping the steering wheel with her left hoof while resting her head on her right foreleg.

"Do you think he... Escaped?" Rarity/Applejack asked.

"He wouldn't dare!" Rainbow Dash said, finally ceasing her wing flaps. "He will help us like his promised, then will face his punishment like a stallion! Or whatever the hay he is."

"Yoo-hoo!" Discord's voice called from behind the cars. They turned around and their eyes widened when they saw Discord wearing a camouflage helmet and waving at them while driving a War Tank.

"Wh-Wh-What the hay is that?!" Rarity/Applejack shouted.

"I call it Minion!" Discord said with a smile while tapping it. "I prepared it a long time ago, in case of an emergency like... Well, this one. I was so glad when I found it. I was sure the Princesses would've located it by now and either destroyed it or added to their little gallery."

"Don't you think this 'Minion' thing is a little... Overpowered?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Of course it is!" Discord said while still smiling. "I am the creator of Twisted Metal, it's only fair that I get the most powerful of the vehicles, am I right?"

"Not at all." Twilight said, rolling her eyes.

Suddenly a yellow and pink Buggy parked right beside her. The driver looked at them and waved her hoof.

"FLUTTERSHY?" the three mares shouted at the same time.

"Hi girls, and... Discord?" she cocked her head to the side while looking at the Draconequus, sounding surprisingly calm. "Now that's a surprise. I thought you were supposed to be the host, not one of the competitors."

"Oh, Fluttershy, fancy meeting you here!" he said. "And about the contest, some things happened last month and I ended up losing my throne."

"Oh, that's sad."

"And what are you doing here, Fluttershy?" Rarity/Applejack asked.

"I want to bring your brother back to life." she then turned at the red doll sitting on the passenger seat. "Isn't that right, Big Macintosh?"

"My brother? What are you--" AppleRarity started to speak, but then stopped. "Oh, right, I'm Applejack. But why are you going to revive him?"

Fluttershy opened her mouth to explain, but she was interrupted:

"Hello, everypony!" shouted a cheerful voice and, from a cloud of streamers and confetti, sprouted Pinkamena, but still with a straight mane and derker colors. "I hope you're all excited for today's contest, hosted by yours truly! But, before we start, I want to apologize and say that this is my first time doing this, so things in there may seem a bit... Glitchy."

"I get worried every time she admits that she did something wrong." Rarity/Applejack said.

"And, without further ado, let the contest begin!"

Pinkamena popped like a balloon, making more streamers and confetti appear from where she was standing. The door of the warehouse opened, revealing a very dark inside.

"How are we supposed to fit in there?" Twilight asked, pointing at the warehouse. "It's not physically possible."

"Don't worry, silly, you'll understad once you're in there."

Rainbow Dash shrugged and was the first to drive into the warehouse, soon followed by RariJack, Fluttershy and Discord. Twilight groaned and entered it as well, with all the other drivers following them - Spy, Scout and Pyro included.

The warehouse was really small, but all the cars seemed to fit very well. Their headlights couldn't illuminate much of the inside, keeping everything dark.

"Are you ready to be surprised by my masterpiece?" Pinkamena's disembodied voice said, coming from everywhere. "Deploying surprise in three, two, one..."

The lights of the warehouse were turned on, revealing that the warehouse was at least ten time bigger on the inside, filled with several wooden boxes of several sizes.

"Gallopfreyan tricks? Can't say that I'm impressed." Discord said, entering his tank and closing its door. "Any newbie could do that!"

Suddenly the lights flickered and the walls and boxes "disappeared", being replaced by red and pink squares.

"Oh, fudge!" Pinkamena said. "I was so sure I had fixed this. Hang on for a second there."

Discord chuckled. "Texture error! How amusing."

Pinkamena sighed. "Sorry, everypony, but I'd need an hour or so to fix this, and I can't delay this any longer, so this will have to do."

Discord chuckled. "So incompetent."

"Enough talking! Twisted Metal begins now."

"About freaking time!" Scout shouted before grabbing his baseball bat and accelerating. He then hit the back of a stallion's head with the bat.

Pyro turned on the siren of the Fire Truck and accelerated, shooting fire at random directions while laughing.

Spy looked at his watch, and suddenly he and the whole car turned invisible.

AppleRarity, Discord, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash went all in different directions, with Twilight following the Draconequus.

"You still won't let me have some space, Twilight?"

"No way. I'm keeping one eye on the competition and the other on you, all the time."

"How? Are you some kind of pony-chameleon crossbreed thing?"

"This is not a joke, Discord."

"But it sure sounds like one!"

"You already have the rope around your neck, Discord, don't make me kick the chair."

"Ohhh, is that a threat, Miss Sparkle? I don't think Princess Celestia would be pleased to know that her prized student is becoming so... Brutal. Specially after that scene in the castle the other day."

Twilight simply looked away angrily, clicking her tongue. "I'm letting this competition influence me..." Her trail of thoughts was interrupted when a baseball smashed her windshield, startling her.

"Hey, Your Highness!" Scout shouted, pointing his bat at her. "How about we have some fun?"

"I am not a Princess."

"Whatever, I was just hired to liven things up a bit, not to know titles and formalities. But I must say, Pinks didn't mentioned that cuties like you were going to be here. So, after this thing is over, wanna go grab a hayburger or something?"

"Oh, would you look at that." Discord said with a chuckle. "Did Miss Sparkle got herself a date? I always thought you were the kind of mare that would go for a Royal Guard or something. That sort of brother complex rumor thing I keep hearing about!"

Twilight's face was red with both embarassment and anger, but she managed to stay calm, then focused her gaze on Scout. "Sir, you better leave me alone, otherwise I'm gonna get mean. And you don't want to see the mean me!"

"Mean her likes to give armlocks."

"Likes to play rough, eh? I see! Yeah, I can deal with that. After all, I always had a thing for nerdy girls, and I won't let one of her kinks keep us apart!"

"Nerdy? KINKS?!" That was the last drop and Twilight snapped. "That's it, you're going down. Both of you. Starting with you, lover-boy!"

She pressed a button, revealing two machine guns on both sides of her car.

"Oh, gods!" Scout turned his car around and left. Twilight chased him.

"Stay here, Discord, because I'm coming back for you later!" she shouted before disappearing behind a pink and black wall.

"Oh, I know you will!" Discord then turned his tank around and drove somewhere else. "Unfortunately, I have places to be, things to do, and a throne to win back."

Rainbow Dash was driving in circles around Pyro's fire truck, avoiding its flamethrower. Fluttershy's car approached.

"Hey, Fluttershy, since you're here, mind lending a hoof?"

Pyro stopped shooting fire when Fluttershy accelerated and slammed her car against Rainbow Dash's front.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

The yellow mare smirked and smoke surrounded her and the car. When the cloud of smoke faded, it revealed a white Bugatti driven by a masked unicorn stallion.

"What the--"

The unicorn smirked and levitated a Butterfly knife. He was about to throw it at Rainbow Dash, when another white car slammed against his; this one with three blue diamonds painted on the hood. Spy threw his knife, and smashed Rainboom's windshield, but missed Rainbow Dash's face for a few inches, hitting the seat instead.

Spy saw RariJack staring at him, without moving. He simply shrugged and drove away from the mares.

"Did you see that gorgeous stallion?"

"Rarity, now is not the time!"

"Y-Yes, of course."

There was an akward silence between AppleRarity, Rainbow Dash and Pyro, who just kept changing its glance from one mare to another.

"And what are you waiting to go after him?"

"No-Nothing!"

Rarity/Applejack turned her car around and went after Spy. Rainbow Dash and Spy looked at each other.

"Mmph?" Pyro asked with its muffled voice.

"I have no idea what you just said. So, back to battling?"

Pyro nodded, saluted and went back to shooting fire at her while she drove in circles around the truck.

RariJack drove her car slowly, avoiding the many car pieces on the road that could damage her tires. For a moment, she stopped and closed her eyes. She smiled and grabbed an apple on her passenger seat and threw it at a seemingly random direction, but the fruit stopped in mid flight, causing someone to groan in pain.

"What the--" Spy said, his car and he turning visible again, while rubbing his muzzle, which was hit by the apple. "How did you found me?"

"You can hide from my eyes, but you can't hide from my female intuition! Also, I know everything about sneaky sorts like you, darling."

"Believe me, 'darling', you know nothing about me." Spy accelerated his car and slammed it against Rarity's/Applejack's.

"It is so on, you ruffian!"

"You have quite de vocabulary for a country bumpkin!"

"How dare you call my friend a country bumpkin? I won't forgive you."

"I didn't called no friend of yours a country bumpkin. I called YOU a country bumpkin!"

"Exactly. And this is why I'll punish you!"

"You're... Unusual."

AppleRarity accelerated and Spy followed her. She tried to lose him by hiding behind the pink and black walls, but he always managed to find her. Spy finally caught her on a dead end.

"Why don't we just give up, pardner?" he said, mocking the Apple family peculiar accent. He pulled another Butterfly knife and pointed it at her. "Giddy up now. To Tartarus!" he was about to throw his knife at her, when a similar knife stabbed his on the back of his head. "Ugh... Merde."

When Spy hit his head on the steering wheel, Applejack/Rarity saw Rainbow Dash's car behind his.

"Hey, look, you shapeshifted into a dead stallion!" she said mockingly.

RariJack gasped. "Rainbow Dash! Did you just killed that pony?"

The pegasus rolled her eyes. "You're welcome, miss prissy."

"But... It was either him or me. So, thanks!"

She smiled. "Now let's go back and kick some more flank, right?"

RariJack nodded. "But... What happened to that fire pony?"

"Well..."

Rainbow Dash was standing on her hind legs, with one of them on Pyro's head, who was lying on the ground. The fire truck was behind her, burning. "Hey, if you didn't wanted me to knock you out cold, why didn't you said so?"

"He-she-it won't be bothering us anymore, that's for sure."

They heard they sound of static and the engines of their cars were releasing blue sparks.

"What the--" Rainbow Dash asked before they heard a laugh. Suddenly the Spy reappeared, levitating a golden pocket watch.

"But you got stabbed in the head!" Rarity/Applejack nearly shouted. "How are you still alive?"

"A good spy knows how to fake his death." he said, levitating his "corpse" away from his car.

"What have you done to our cars?" Rainbow asked.

"I sapped them!"

"You what them?"

"Here's an advice: don't get too close to your engines when my Sappers finish their job."

He jumped back into his car and laughed while driving away. Rainbow Dash jumped from her seat and opened the hood of her car; there was some weird gadget, similar to a radio, attached to it. She quickly grabbed it with her teeth and yanked it, removing the apparatus from the engine. When the sapper hit the ground, she stomped on it, smashing the gadget to pieces. RariJack did the same to hers.

"Now back to the competition!" Rainbow Dash said before stomping on the accelerator, but nothing happened. AppleRarity did the same thing, but the result was similar.

"I think he sabotaged our cars." Rarity/Applejack said.

Rainbow Dash slammed her hooves on the panel. "DAMMIT! That stupid smooth-talking Prench charmer."

"And what a charmer..." RariJack said dreamily.

"Still not the time, Rares."

"Oh. Right. Sorry!"

"This will teach you to not come on to a mare who is not interested." Twilight said, looking down at the Scout, who had a baseball stuffed in his mouth and magical ropes tying his wings and legs. She jumped out of his car and was about to go back into hers, when Fluttershy hit it, missing the Alicorn by less than a meter. Twilight yelped in surprise.

"Fluttershy, what are you doing?!" she yelled.

"Fulfilling my end of the bargain." she said.

"What bargain?"

Fluttershy ignored the question and engaged reverse, then fixed the angle of her car, pointing the front at Twilight.

"How well can you fly with those wings of yours, Twilight?"

"I... Try as hard as I can to ignore them. Where is this going?"

"Oh, so this means you won't be able to dodge that!"

The last thing Twilight saw was Fluttershy's car approaching. Fast.

"We meet at last, Discord." Spy said, levitating another cigarette to his mouth.

"Spy of the Teufort Nine." he said. "Known as the most competent of them all. Though, I must say, Mister Jane Doe was always my favorite!"

"That sluggish simpleton? Don't make me laugh. Now, let's settle this like gentlecolts, shall we?"

"As you wish, Mister Spy."

Discord pointed the cannon of the tank at the Spy's car and shot, exploding the vehicle.

"Too easy."

Spy reappeared on top of the tank, siting while holding on his forehooves a Sapper like the ones he used in Rainboom and Rare Gem, while levitating his golden pocket watch - which was suddenly slapped away from him by a yellow hoof that belonged to a pink-maned pegasus.

"Stay out of this, you--"

His face was hit by the door of the door of the tank, knocking him out. Discord's face popped out of the now open tank, smiling.

"Good job, dear Fluttershy!"

"So, are you gonna do it? Will you revive Big Macintosh?"

"Everything will be done in due time. But first, I need to win this tournament."

"But you promised that--"

Discord turned his tank, hitting Fluttershy's stomach with the cannon, making her fall to the floor, coughing and clutching her stomach.

"Of course I promised, but I never told you when I was going to revive your little coltfriend. First, you need to win my Twisted Metal!"

Pinkamena appeared in fron of Discord, lying on her stomach on top of the cannon.

"Well, look at that, little Discordy can play the game he made. I shouldn't be surprised but, surprisingly, I am. Surprise! Now that everypony else is out of the way, what is it that you--"

"Spare me the rhetoric." he interrupted, then leaned his face closer to hers with a serious expression. "You know what I want!"

"Out of the question." she said while leaning her face closer to his, touching his nose with hers. "The competition and the horn stay with Pinkamena Diane Pie! Wish for something else."

He chuckled. "You forget the rules of the competition: anything I desire is the prize. I won and I desire my horn. Now give it back!"

Pinkamena glared at him while he stared deep into her eyes. She sighed, still glaring at him.

"It was fun while it lasted!" Pinkamena then clopped her hooves, making the horn disappear from her forehead and reappear on Discord's.

"I am Pinkamena and I than--"

"Nope! I am Discord and I thank you for playing Twisted Metal." Discord then snapped his fingers, making everything and everypony disappear, leaving him alone with Minion in an empty and abandoned warehouse. He clapped his hands together and jumped down on the floor. "That was a long month. Now, let's get ready for next month's contest!"

Author's Notes:

The Team Fortress 2 cameos were a celebration of their new video [Right below this paragraph, go check it out! ↓] and their new update, Love & War. I miss the old times, writing Pony Fortress 2 fanfics. Maybe, once I'm done with Twisted Metal: Equestria, I might come up with something. Maybe and might! No promises.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLlLQ3LmZWU

And sorry for taking so long to release this chapter, I've been experiencing some mean mental roadblocks!