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Fools Go Where Pegasi Fear to Tread

by kudzuhaiku

Chapter 1

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Chapter 1

Colibri stood, looked in the mirror, and then adjusted her pith helmet to a rakish angle. Real adventurers wore pith helmets. Adventurers like Daring Do. Daring Do, who was her hero and could do no wrong. Daring Do, who was perfect in every way.

Even if both of Colibri’s parents hated her and said she gave a bad name to archaeologists everywhere. Colibri wanted to be just like her.

She studied herself in the mirror, examining her potential to be a great adventurer. In the mirror, she saw a unicorn with a shimmering blue pelt, a blue-green mane, and bright magenta eyes. Her cutie mark was a hummingbird, and her special talent was flight, which was odd for a unicorn. The pith helmet had to have a hole bored through it to allow for her horn.

“Colibri is a terrible name for an adventurer,” she said to herself. “I should call myself something worthy of Daring Do. Like… I dunno…” She fell silent and began to think, knowing that she had precious little time. Daring Do was going to be at the museum today, and Colibri was going to stand in line so she could meet her idol. “I should be close to Daring. Real close. Like… Courage! C is right next to D!”

She beamed at herself, looking pleased. She was a young filly, on the cusp of young adulthood. She was bright, she thought herself adventurous, and as a flying unicorn, she believed she was well suited to being an adventurer.

Her parents were gone, off on some dig somewhere. They had left her in the care of the butler, who was currently on vacation she believed. He had simply gone out the front door and had not returned. Colibri was not worried. She was a big filly and could look after herself. She had stopped the fire in the kitchen before there was any real damage.

She had her canvas saddlebags, her action harness with D rings, clips, as well as lanyards for attaching all manner of things, and her pith helmet, set at a proper rakish angle. She was good to go.


Colibri strolled through downtown Equistar, a city in the grand empire of Saddle Arabia, the place were her parents were assigned to work by the Royal Academy of Science back home in Equestria. The day was hot, but not too hot, not by local standards anyway, and Colibri was glad for her pith helmet. Equines of all kinds lived here. The horses of Saddle Arabia, the ponies of Equestria, and the zebras from the Sea of Grass. She moved through the crowded streets, mostly unnoticed, her eyes darting from side to side as she took in everything she could. She loved this city.

She continued her way to the museum, darting and weaving between crowds, tempted to fly but remaining on the ground. Summoning her hummingbird wings was useful, but it altered her metabolism considerably, and she had to eat a great deal of food, sweets in particular, to keep the spell going. Her wings allowed her to hover, to dart, to flit, and to fly very very fast, very much like a hummingbird. She was the only unicorn to ever graduate pegasus flight camp. She had even received a special medal of commendation from Spitfire, the leader of the Wonderbolts, recognising her marvelous flight abilities. Every year at least one pony in flight camp received that medal, and Colibri had worked very, very hard to make sure it had been her on her graduating year.

There was a large crowd of equines all around the museum. Colibri began to wonder how she was going to get inside. The line was very long. Her lip protruded in a pout of disappointment, she had been very careful to get here early, and her efforts were for naught.

This calls for an adventurous swear she thought to herself.

“Oh… fudge!” she swore, causing an older mare to turn around and glare at her with one raised eyebrow and a very disapproving look. Colibri immediately felt just awful about what she had done and hung her head in shame. “Oh drats, that didn’t go well at all,” she muttered to herself, feeling very cross and let down by her own behaviour.

She stood, waiting in line, her lip still protruding, feeling rather let down by her own appalling behaviour. Her first real attempt at swearing hadn’t gone nearly as well as she had hoped. She wanted shock and surprise. She received disappointment and dismay. Adventurers were supposed to swear. Already, she felt like a failure.

She stood, slumped in shame, unsure if she was fit to meet Daring Do.

Suddenly, there was a commotion in the crowd, shouts and screams happening all around her. Ponies began to panic, horses began to holler, and the zebras began to zigzag as they all tried to get away. There was a ruckus, and Colibri found herself in the middle of it all.

Ahuizotl appeared, charging through the crowd, running away with a package grasped in the hand at the end of his tail. He snarled and growled, causing the crowd to disperse. He was charging right at Colibri.

“OH FARTS!” Colibri swore, using the worst F-word she could think of. She nearly swooned from her own vulgarity, and felt light headed as she tried to scramble away from the rampaging Ahuizotl.

Daring Do zipped past, flying after Ahuizotl in hot pursuit.

Colibri could not believe her luck. Here was her chance to make a difference.

“Hey, move aside dimwit!”

“Yeah, get out of our way dumdum!”

“Scram stinkbrain!”

Oh no Colibri thought to herself. The heckling hyenas! Ahuizotl’s horrible heckling hench animals!

They they were, larger than life, the horrible heckling hyenas.

“Your mother’s cooking is so bad that even I wouldn’t eat it!”

Oh that was just uncalled for!

Colibri summoned her wings and took off after Daring Do, determined to help her hero out of this terrible trouble that had just happened.

She buzzed over the crowds, her legs tucked against her body tightly, her wings an incandescent blur of movement. As she flew over the crowd, her wake caused hats to fly away, and even one wig. Alas, Colibri had no time to stop and apologise. There was a villain to help stop. She flew around lamp posts, in between streetside stalls, around corners, easily keeping up with Daring Do and the arch fiend Ahuizotl. This was much easier than she thought it was going to be.

And then, everything went horribly wrong.

Ahuizotl lifted the cover off of a sewer entrance, waved, and then disappeared down the hole. Daring Do tucked in her wings and shot down the hole, disappearing as well. Colibri landed near the hole and peered inside.

“No!” she protested. In all of the books she had read about Daring Do, Daring Do had never crawled through a sewer. Didn’t she know what was in a sewer? There was a terrible stink rising from the hole. Colibri stomped her hooves on the street and nearly cried from frustration.

There was poop in sewers!

“Oh  this is awful! Adventurers don’t crawl through… through… -ugh- the horribleness that is down there in the hole!” she exclaimed.

Still, Daring Do had gone down the hole.

“Well Courage, time to embrace your new identity!” she said to herself.

Courage dropped down the hole and landed with a splash.

“OH YUCK! THE WATER IS LUMPY!”


Courage unsummoned her wings. She couldn’t fly down here. She ignited her horn, needing light, and began to follow after the sounds she heard from somewhere up ahead. She was walking knee deep in lumpy water. She was not pleased at all with her current situation. The smell was awful, just awful. She could hear the squeaking of what she just knew was rats.

She followed the twisting passages and went down what she hoped was the right forks. In no time at all, she was hopelessly lost. She heard shouting ahead, angry shouting, and a ferocious growl. She hurried onward, trying to keep up with the sounds in the distance.

She slipped and fell, actually submerging in the water, and when she finally was able to stand again, she began to cry. She spat the horrible liquid out of her mouth, and began to sob as she continued forward, now completely filthy from hoof to ear, and she had tasted it. Life just wasn’t fair.

The darkened passages forked ahead, and she went down the left path. Eventually, she reached a raised platform where there was no sewage. She climbed out and shook herself off, still crying and utterly traumatised from her experience.

“Is something there?” a voice inquired.

Cold fear crept through Courage. The simple truth was, she was anything but brave. She sniffled and tried to stop crying, straining her ears to hear the voice again.

“Please don’t hurt me, I don’t mean any harm,” the voice begged.

“Hello?” Courage called.

“Really, I am harmless, I think I am dying, I came down here because all the equines up above were so afraid of me,” the voice replied.

Courage stumbled ahead, and, in the distance, tucked away in a dark corner, there was a small black insectoid figure.

OH GROSS! BUGS! she thought to herself. She was terrified of bugs. She had a genuine phobia. She felt panic began to ripple through her body.

“What are you?” Courage asked, prancing in place, utterly terrified of what she saw.

“I am a changeling,” the creature responded.

“What is a changeling? You look like a bug!” Courage stated.

“I am a bug, but please don’t squash me, I beg you!” the bug pleaded.

“You said you are dying?” Courage asked.

“I think I am. I am so weak I cannot move. My kind feed on love. And nothing loves me. I came down here to die,” the bug admitted.

“That’s… awful,” Courage muttered. “I don’t want you to die. I never actually squash bugs, usually I lift them up very carefully and take them outside. Is there anything I can do to help you?”

“I need to feed,” the bug replied.

“How do I feed you?” Courage asked.

“I need love,” the bug stated, his voice very weak.

“Um,” Courage murmured.

Courage pondered her next move. The bug was horrendously icky ucky, but it was also dying, and Courage was a good pony that didn’t actually want anything to die. This was not a good day for her. She had witnessed a crime, crawled into a sewer, been dunked in sewage, and now, she was about to hug a bug. This day just couldn’t get any worse.

“I am covered in sewage,” Courage confessed.

“So am I,” the bug replied.

Courage came forward, close enough to the bug to really get a good look. It was almost like a pony, just a little bit smaller than she was, insectoid, it had wings, and a little unicorn-like horn. She felt immense pity for it. Its eyes were dim and almost lifeless.

Courage closed her eyes and took a deep breath. This was going to be yucky. She settled down upon her haunches, extended her forelegs, and gave the bug a hug. She squeezed and hummed to make a pleasant inviting sound, just like her mother did.

The bug twitched in her embrace.

She squeezed a little more and then rubbed her cheek against the bug’s horrible face for good measure. The bug made an odd chittering sound and she could feel it vibrate in her embrace.

Courage realised it was a boy bug. And boys… boys were icky. Ugh, this day just couldn’t get any worse. She could feel two chitinous forelegs wrap around her body and she tried to hold back her shudders of revulsion.

“I feel so much better… I feel alive… Oh thank you very much!” the bug said in gratitude. “I thought I was going to die.”

“I have to go catch a villain and catch up to my idol, Daring Do,” Courage said.

“Take me with you!” the bug begged. “You have so much love… I don’t want to die. I just started to live. I broke free of the hivemind and ran away. I want to see the world.”

“Hmm,” Courage murmured. “I could use a companion. What is your name?”

“I don’t have a name,” the bug replied.

“Well, then, I shall have to name you,” Courage said thoughtfully.

The bug looked at her hopefully.

“How about Loyal? You can be my Loyal companion!” Courage chirped.

“Loyal. I can be Loyal,” the bug, now Loyal, replied.

“Well then,” Courage said, giving Loyal one more extra squeezy hug, “let’s go catch us a bad guy! He’s a monster called Ahuizotl and he isn’t very nice at all.’”

Loyal squeezed his new friend back and nodded, ready to begin the adventure.

Next Chapter: Chapter 2 Estimated time remaining: 9 Minutes

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