Author's Notes:

This is a collection of min-shorts all 500-1000 words in length, each detailing a tragic death in Equestria. Updates will come five a day with three original chapters, and two guest chapters. Should anyone wish to submit a guest chapter, PM the author or comment a link to a google doc. And yes. It will have 1000 chapters.

Derpy flew idly over Ponyville trailing a moving carriage behind her. The way she was flying was obviously haphazard, with her eyes closed, humming a soft soft as she trailed the carriage that wasn’t even closed properly. That didn’t bother her one bit. Not even when she could feel the contents of the carriage bouncing because she hadn’t tied them down properly, causing her harness to rock shakily. None of this could snap her out of her idle stupor as she continued along her merry way, oblivious to the dangers she presented to others and herself.

Meanwhile on the ground below, as certain tiara wearing filly was chatting with her best friend, Silver Spoon. The pair were giggling mischievously as they walked down the street, not paying attention to their surrounding in the slightest. They were both too busy gloating to each other about how much they hated other fillies, and especially the three blank-flanks that made up the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

“So anyways, I totally just took her milkshake and ‘accidentally’ splashed it all in her faced.” Diamond Tiara giggled, thinking back to how she’d gotten the innocent filly down at the ice cream parlor all sticky and gotten away with it without so much as the slightest consequences. She truly believed that she could get away with anything. Too bad for her that this would be her last day walking the Earth. Fate has a way of delivering when it comes to jerks.

The two kept on walking in relative peace as Silver smirked, though she felt somewhat bad about the scene she was seeing in her head. “Yeah, that sure sounds like fun! So… Earlier today, I was helping my dad out at the donation center for homeless ponies…” She stopped walking as Diamond stared at her in both shock and disgust before she spat at the ground.

“That’s what you do all day? I thought we were supposed to be trying to make life a living hell for those three blank flanks!” Diamond Tiara huffed, stomping the ground and throwing a mini temper tantrum. Neither of them heard the snap from above as a poorly hitched carriage carrying a piano and several other extremely heavy objects broke off of an oblivious pegasus’ back.

“Hey, Silver, do you hear something? It sounds like something’s…” Diamond barely had time to look up as the several ton vehicle slammed down on her. Silver Spoon stared in shock as her childhood friend exploded in a mess of blood and gore, splattering both her and everything around for several yards. Silver started to twitch as she felt something slide down her forehead and slowly come into view. It was Diamond Tiara’s ear.

Silver Spoon promptly fainted.

High above, a grey pegasus continued, eyes closed, oblivious to the lack of weight present on her back. For all she knew, she was still on her merry way, heading to a happy couple who were eagerly awaiting their furniture for their new home.

Little did she know that fate had just made a special delivery.