Author's Notes:

This is a collection of min-shorts all 500-1000 words in length, each detailing a tragic death in Equestria. Updates will come five a day with three original chapters, and two guest chapters. Should anyone wish to submit a guest chapter, PM the author or comment a link to a google doc. And yes. It will have 1000 chapters.

“Alright girls, Who’s ready to PARTY?!” yelled Pinkie Pie excitedly, raising two hooves full of balloons. “I’ve got party hats, and board games, and yummy snacks and cakes, and oooooooh this will be so much fun!” squealed Pinkie hardly containing her excitement. “What should we do first?”

“I think we should all have some pie” said Mr. Turnip in his usual slurred speech.

“Ey, that sounds like a great idea Turnip, Hey Pinkie, bring out some pie!” called out Rocky insistently. Pinkie could tell that her friends were becoming restless, but the pies wouldn’t be ready for another 15 minutes. She didn’t want to disappoint her guests, so she would have to think fast.

“Ooh, how about a game?” asked pinkie desperately. Maybe if she could distract her friends with a fun activity, maybe they would forget how hungry they all are. “ I have pin the tail on the pony, duck duck goose, musical chairs,. . . “ continued Pinkie.

“Dreadfully sorry to interrupt, however, these activities do sound absolutely dreadful. I would much prefer to consume one of the delicious pastries that you have prepared.” chimed in Sir Lintsalot, “If you would be so kind as to bring out the pies, I would be very grateful.” Distracting the guests wasn’t working, and pinkie was running out of ideas.

“How about jokes? Everypony loves a good joke.” asked Pinkie Pie desperately. Her friends all looked to one another (as much as any inanimate object could look at someone) in complete silence. The room fell completely silent as the four friends considered the proposal. All stayed quiet, until Madame LaFleur finally spoke up. “Oui, a good joking game sounds absolutely marvelous.”

Pinkie let out a large sigh of relief, now all she needs to do is keep the jokes going for another 10 minutes. “Okie Dokie, who would like to go first?” asked Pinkie with a renewed sense of excitement in her voice.

“I’ve got a good one Pinkie” called out Mr. Turnip. “What does 2+2=8, and a left hoof have in common?” All eyes turned to Pinkie as she attempted to solve this most challenging riddle. After minutes of thinking, Pinkie finally caved and asked for the answer. “They both aren’t RIGHT.” said Mr. Turnip with a slight chuckle. Pinkie Pie let out a slight giggle. “Good one Mr. Turnip, you really had me for a moment.” congratulated Pinkie. The joke was definitely good, but nothing too funny.

“Alright, who is next?” asked Mr Turnip “Who thinks that they can come up with a better joke than me?”

“I’d like to give it a shot.” called out Madame LaFleur, “ Why did the poor earth pony ask a pegasus for help?”

“Ooh, I know this one!” yelled Rocky excitedly. Once again, all eyes turned to pinkie pie. Her face twisted in various expressions as she attempted to figure out the joke.

“I give up, why?” asked Pinkie

“Because he wanted some CHANGE in the weather!” answered Madame LaFleur barely able to control her own laughter. Pinkie immediately burst into laughter as she slammed her hoof on the table repeatedly, tears began to roll down her face as she slowly regained her composure. Looking to her clock she smiled realizing that the pies would be ready in a short five minutes.

“That was absolutely hilarious Madame, great work.” said Pinkie with a smile on her face.

“Alright, now it’s your turn Rocky” said Mr. Turnip

“OK guys, I’ve got a joke that’ll really knock your socks off. Why does Peter Pony always fly wherever he goes?” asked Rocky with a cold stony smile. “Because he Never-Lands!” The entire room suddenly burst out in laughter. Pinkie threw her head back in an uproar so loud that the house seemed to shake.

“Please. . . don’t. . . . I can’t breath. . . too funny.” cried Pinkie between laughter, gasping for each breath. Her cries continued for a few more minutes, before she slowly began to gain her composure. “Wow Rocky, that was absolutely hilarious. I’ve never heard a joke that good, I was laughing so hard I could barely breath!” congratulated Pinkie Pie. “How is it that a joke could be that funny?”

“Because it Never Gets Old.” answered Rocky. Pinkie’s eyes widened instantly once that last sentence was uttered. The room fell utterly and completely silent as Pinkie began to twitch. Never Get’s Old. . . . Never Get’s Old. . . the words repeated themselves in Pinkie’s head as her pupils shrank to the size of a pinhead. The corner of the mouth twitched slightly as she attempted to keep a straight face. In the end, keeping a poker face proved impossible. Like flicking a light switch, both halves of the joke connected together to form the worlds funniest joke. With a sudden yell of laughter Pinkie cried out “THE JOKE NEVER GET’S OLD, BECAUSE NEITHER DOES PETER PONY!”

Pinkie kicked her legs out in a fit of joy pushing her chair backwards and launching herself onto the floor. In a fit of extreme laughter, she began flailing her arms and legs in complete calamity. She began rolling accross the room hugging her sides as a splitting pain shot through her body. No matter how much she tried, she could not stop laughing. “Too . . . Funny. . . Can’t . . breath.” yelled Pinkie with a pained smile on her face. Through heavy fits of laughter, you could almost hear small cries of agony escape from the ponies lips. Tears poured from her eyes as she continued to roll on the floor clutching her sides. Soon minutes passed, her head grew heavy and her vision began to blur as blood rushed to her head. Unable to control her laughter, she was slowly being deprived of oxygen. Becoming aware of this only caused her to roll and panic more violently.

With a final cry, she turned over to her back as her (now purple) face settled still, frozen forever in a perpetual smile.

“Wow, would you look at this one, looks like asphyxiation.” stated Sherrif Hooves as he walked about the crime scene. Looking down at the small purple pony staring and smiling at nothing he felt a small hint of remorse for the small pony.

“Ey, look over ‘ere, this little smutch died laughing, haha, what a patsie” laughed Deputy Dan, pointing at the small body.

“Hey, Dan, have some respect. This is no laughing matter.