Author's note: This was written right after Gabby Gums came out, before Celestia and cake became fanon.

It was so wrong... But it felt so good.

Princess Celestia shuddered in ecstasy as she felt the warm, moist icing on her tongue. She closed her teeth around the slice of cake levitating in front of her. Her eyes shut in bliss as she clopped her front hooves together, judging the cake's consistency. Not too fluffy, nor too dense; not too moist, not too dry. To the 1000-year-old and well-tempered royal tongue, it was perfect.

Beads of sweat began to drip down from her brow, and she felt a sudden urge to remove her necklace and slippers to feast in an... uncivilized manner. She spared a thought for the baker... Pinkamena Dianne Pie would soon be holding a position of power in the Solar Empire's imperial court; the court baker had never produced anything nearly so perfect.

Her wings began to flutter slightly, betraying her inner nirvana. She had felt nothing so glorious for millenia. She chewed and swallowed. She took another bite—who cared if it got on her face? She was in her royal gardens, all alone!

CLICK!

The sudden sound of a camera shutter flashing shut jerked the princess from her ecstasy. She opened her eyes in time to see a flash and hear a second shutter close. By the time her eyes had readjusted from the flash of bright light, she could barely make out a pegasus colt, thin as matchsticks, buzzing away down the road.

"Oh, well," she thought. "Let the colt have a picture of his Goddess, however embarrassing it may be... No harm done." She closed her eyes once more, and giggled greedily.

"Now... Where was I?"