Hello, I’m the door at the housebarn at Sweet Apple Acres, and I’ll be narrating this entire chapter. Oh, here comes Applejack! I like how she turns my doorknob. Why, if she weren’t already with that durn Rainbow Dash, I might have a whack at her myself! Oh, and here comes Derpy with her mailbag! Here to deliver a letter, I assume, don’t know what else she’d be here for. Hopefully she’ll knock on me nice and sof—ow! Ow! Owwww! Holy Faust, the pain! Oh, looks like Applejack noticed. She’s about to open me...

“Hi, Derpy!” Applejack said.

Derpy hooved her an epistle.

“Thanks, Derpy!” Applejack said, before owwww did she have to slam me like that? Holy Faust, what did I do to deserve this? Oh, looks like she’s looking at me!

“Big Mac?” she said. He came down from playing Minecraft.

“Eeyup?”

“Does the door seem like it’s talkin’ to me?”

Big Mac turned his head to look at me.

“I could’ve sworn I just heard it narrate me looking at it,” Big Mac said.

“Exactly!”

“Could it be that glowing lime food we had for breakfast?”

“Maybe. Anyway, Ah got this letter for Apple Bloom. She should be comin’ back from Amicable’s any moment now.”

Silence.

“Is that all you needed?” Big Mac said.

“Eeeeyup,” Applejack said in a ‘bad impression of deep-voiced person’ voice. Big Mac didn’t seem amused. “If you have a random urge ta kill right now, you can take it out on me.”

“I’m not the violent type.”

“Ah know, the only random urges you get are sexual... an’ before you bring it up, Ah wasn’t trahin’ to suggest that you’re that kinda pony or anythin’.”

Ow! What is it today? Er, anyway, Applejack opened me and there was everypony: Apple Bloom, camerapony #1, camerapony #3, camerapony #4, and transcriber #1!

“Hi, Apple Bloom,” Applejack said.

“Hi, AJ.”

“Come in, there’s a letter for ya.”

Meanwhile, Big Mac had inconspicuously gone back to his room. Does he have a room? He’s a bit old for a room now, don’tcha think? But he had one back he was younger, and it’s just stayed that way. Some things never change!

“So where is it?”

“Right on the table. Y’know, where we usually keep letters.”

Apple Bloom took it and tore open the envelope.

“Dear Apple Bloom, the only reason we’ve had ya for the last couple chapters you’ve been in is ‘cause we needed to keep our contract. And so we’ve decahded we’ve run outta uses for ya for now an’... are droppin’ ya as a mane character....”

“Aw, Apple Bloom....”

“Ah know...” Apple Bloom tore up the envelope. “Those fuckin’ producers and whoever else....”

“Ah thought you were a really good mane character,” Applejack said, “But Ah guess Ah understand why they’re droppin’ ya.”

“Y’do?”

“Yeah.”

“Ah was hopin’ for somethin’ a little more supportive....”

“Ah don’t lah, Apple Bloom.”

“Ah know, but sometahmes Ah think you should.”

“Well, Ah ain’t gonna.”

“Ah guess Ah can’t really complain about honesty... Ah wonder if they’re gettin’ anypony to replace me.”

“Hey, can Ah have the letter for a second?”

Apple Bloom hooved her the epistle.

“It says in the letter who they’re replacin’ ya with.”

“It does?” She snatched the letter back from Applejack. “Oh. Ah stopped readin’ after the droppin’ me part. Well, Ah hope Scootaloo does well, then.”

“Hey, Ah think Ah noticed somethin’,” Applejack said.

“What?”

“On the door there, there’s a speaker.” Applejack walked up to the door to get a closer look. “Yeah, there’s a tahny speaker in the corner here. An’ Ah see a wahre here....” She opened me and followed the wire to outside the housebarn, where I was leaning against a wall talking into a microphone.

“Hi,” Applejack said.

I looked up at her, a bit startled. “Oh, hi. So I guess you found out that I’m not actually a door.”

“Yeah.”

I took a heavy breath to stall for time whilst I thought of something to say. “Well, I guess you found me out, what more can I say.”

“Yep. So... er... y’know if any ah us’re in the next chapter?”

“It’s Twilight-Rainbow, probably Twidash but that’s up to them, and I won’t be there, so no.”

“‘Kay. Ah’m gonna have sex with Big Mac.”

“Good luck getting him off Minecraft.”

“Ah can do it.”

“Okay, if you say so. I would say bye, but I think I’ll transcribe your sex if/when it happens.”

“Willin’ly? Not just ‘cause you’re obligated ta?”

“For practice.”

“Really?”

“I just want to watch you have sex....”

“No.”

“Fine.”

Next Chapter: Chapter 106: Family Game Night Estimated time remaining: 10 Hours, 37 Minutes