“Episode 70’s coming up,” Pinkie Pie said to her latest customer, “But I didn’t throw a party for episodes 30, 40, 50, or 60.”

“So?” Twilight said.

“So I’ll just have to throw a quintuple-intensity party!”

“Oh Wall.”

It was a hot, humid, wish you didn’t have fur kind of day in Ponyville. Someone needed to get the door at the Sweet Apple Acres barn, and Applejack was the one who stepped up.

“Hi,” Lyra said. Alongside her was Octavia.

“Hey. Whatcha here for?”

“We were supposed to see Apple Bloom because of, because of completely organic reasons that don’t involve television contracts.”

“She’s at school raht now.”

“Well, this is when we were supposed to be here....” No one knew what to say. “So why are we here, then?”

“There ain’ a philosophical reason for—”

“No, why did they send us, here.”

“Ah don’t think aliens—”

“It was probably just a boring administrative oversight.”

“Do you seriously—”

“Why did they, the ponies running the show, send us, Octavia and Lyra, to here, Sweet Apple Acres, when the timing didn’t work out.”

“Oooohhhh. Yeah, Ah dunno.”

“So this can’t be the only thing for the supposed ‘spectacular’ they’re promoting, can it?”

“There’s the game show. But Ah don’t know what it’s even about yet.”

“Hm. I guess they really are keeping it from everypony. But really, why did they send us here?”

“Don’t look at me.”

In an open field just south of Ponyville, inside a circle of grass strangely shorter than the grass around it, an audience of about fifty were sat on bleachers watching Rarity and Fluttershy diligently clean a screen that was quite large, about four by three metres. In front of the screen and to its right, and at a slight angle to its left, was Pinkie Pie, who would be hosting the game. The three contestants were a white mare with a sky blue mane, her other features hidden behind the podium, a yellow mare with an orange mane and an officially licensed Big Macintosh cap, and Sweetie Belle.

The screen was clean, all cameras were ready, the host and contestants weren’t really hungry or trying to hold off a bathroom break, and the audience weren’t being held hostage. It was time.

“Hello and welcome,” Pinkie said, trying too hard to look at the camera correctly and staring into it creepily, “To Mane Character for an Episode Showdown Alpha Plus Platinum, the show where if you actually know the answer, you should put down your laptop and stop cheating. Let’s look at our three contestants.

“Here on the left, we have an electrician all the way from Onille in Chevalie, Courant Alternatif. In the centre, we have the sister of clothing store owner and world-saviour Rarity, Sweetie Belle. And on the right, we have a pony who described her occupation as ‘fangirl’, Butterscotch.

“Now here’s how the game works. I’ll be asking seven questions. The last one is worth double points. That’s the entire game. Is everypony ready?”

The audience and contestants cheered.

“I said are you READY?!”

The audience and contestants cheered more loudly.

“Good! Now let’s get this party ON!”

After a thirty-second loading screen, Pinkie asked the first question.

“Who wrote the book that was a best-seller in Equestria called ‘I Used To Be A Prostitute’?”

Courant Alternatif rang in. “Stone’s Throw.”

“Correct! Next one: who wrote the book that was a best-seller in Equestria called ‘The World Will End Two Years From Now’?”

Sweetie Belle rang in. “Red Carpet.”

“Correct! Next one: who played Ophiuchus in the film ‘In a Minute’?”

Courant Alternatif rang in. “Carbon Copy.”

“Correct! Next one: oh, it’s time for an ad break.”

“Welcome back to Mane Character For an Episode Showdown Alpha Plus Platinum. Courant is in the lead with two points, followed by Sweetie Belle with one, and finally we have Butterscotch, who hasn’t said a single word in the entire programme. Ready? Good. Delicious instant meals from ForkIt only have to be microwaved for how many seconds?”

No one knew the answer.

“Time’s up! The answer is 45. What fire spell requires the caster to be in contact with fifty-six grams of diamond?”

Sweetie Belle rang in. “Carbon Copy.”

“Correct! It’s all tied up with just two questions to go! Now for question six, which may or may not end up being completely irrelevant: what’s 37 squared?”

No one answered.

“And time’s up. The answer is 1,369. We’ll back for the final question after these unbelievably important messages.”

Pinkie and camerapony #3 had a conversation which nobody else heard but which involved a lot of nodding.

“We’re back. With one question to go, Courant Alternatif and Sweetie Belle are tied for the lead with two points each. Now here it is, the final question. This could get you the win. The border between Upper and Lower Mbelo bisects what body of water?”

No one knew.

“It’s Maansikkelmeer. Here’s the tiebreaker question, whoever gets this one is the winner, if somepony does get it. What colour unusual for the brand was prominent on ForkIt’s box of Big Macaroni, a—”

Butterscotch rang in. “Cerulean!”

“That’s right! Butterscotch wins!” Confetti fell from above. “Get up here!” She went on a soapbox placed in front of the screen next to Pinkie Pie. “No, no, look at me, we’re not using the screen for anything. Now it’s time for the bonus question. If you get it right, you’ll win 25,000 bits.”

“Let’s do this.”

“The musician Jilefeaun typically plays what instrument?”

“Um... she’s a pianist, isn’t she?”

“Wrong! The correct answer is the tambourine! But you’ve still got the money you won based on your score, for a total of zero bits!” The audience cheered. “That’s it for this episode. Join us next time, which could be a day or several years from now, on...”

“MANE CHARACTER FOR AN EPISODE ALPHA PLUS PLATINUM!” said everyone in the crowd.

The next morning, Rainbow Dash came into Sugarcube Corner.

“Hi, Dashie!”

“I told you to fucking stop saying that. Anyway, hi, that was a pretty good party. The show was cool, the food was cool, and I swear I saw Fluttershy in a conversation with somepony.”

“Was? The party’s still going! That was just day one!”

“Oh Wall.”

“The fun continues today at—”

“Look, Pinkie Pie... we’ve had enough party episodes. Today they’re focussing on all the... I’m meeting a few ponies, can’t tell you the details, and they think it’ll draw in more viewers.”

“Aren’t they at least sending a transcriber or something?”

“Of course, but the fancy crew is coming with me.”

“Oh... well, I’ll still have fun. Just kind of hoped the show would be there. And you, apparently.”

“You’ll be good. You’ll still have a lot friends around, to say the least.”

“Yeah, it’ll be great. Ponies you never see, games you never see because they were just made up... but the awesomest pony of all won’t be there.”

“She’s at every party anyway.”

“Well, there’s a reason for that....”

“I can’t be there, okay?”

“I know... at least the show will be better for it.”

“Yeah. There’ll be something worth showing the world in there, that’s for sure.” Next Chapter: Chapter 71: The Chance Estimated time remaining: 12 Hours, 9 Minutes