“So that’s why Ah need to see ‘em tomorrow,” Apple Bloom said.

“First we should figure out whah we were knocked out, apparently blahndfolded, and left to wake up bound to this rocky-feelin’ surface,” Applejack said.

“What are you talkin’ about?”

“Ah’m talkin’ about how we’ve blahndfolded an’ left on this rock or whatever it is.”

“We’re on our couch watchin’ the telly.”

“Whoever did this clearly cast some kahnda spell on you, ‘cause—”

“What the hell are you even....”

“When will you be back and what homework do you still need to do?” Rarity said.

“By five, and it’s just some maths I know I can do,” Sweetie Belle said. “They didn’t give us any more than normal and I have the whole weekend, so....”

“It’ll probably be dark by then. Are you sure you’ll make it here all right?”

“It’ll barely be dark, it’s not like it’s midnight.”

“I’m not convinced you’ll be safe.”

“I think you’re unnecessarily worried.”

Meanwhile, Scootaloo sat against a chain-link fence at the intersection where she lived. “I wish I had parents to argue with,” she said.

“Look, whoever did this clearly wants us to get torn apart lahke this,” Applejack said, “So just trust me, all raht?”

“Maybe you should stop your elaborate fuckin’ joke an—who’s that?”

“Yeah, Ah hear somethin’ too.”

“Ah can see ‘er and so can you.”

“Hello,” said the mare. Her green-yellow coat, orange mane, and siren-topped helmet made her stand out from absolutely anything. “You’re probably both wondering why your sister is acting completely crazy.”

“Who the fuck are you?” Apple Bloom said.

“Do you recognise the name... Lavender Honey?”

“No.”

“Ah. Fair enough. But I’m sure Applejack here—”

“No.”

“That was a very uplifting speech,” Rarity said, “But it has nothing to do with the reasons you shouldn’t be out after dark.”

“It’ll be, like, half an hour, I’ll be fine. I mean, look at Scootaloo. She sleeps outside in snow.”

“Whenever it gets cold enough, somepony always—”

“The point is that I can survive walking a few minutes at sunset.”

“Sunset is too dark.”

Sweetie Belle took a couple seconds to think. “Would it make you feel better if I was with an adult? Or a particularly mature teenager?”

“I suppose if Applejack—”

“Or Big Mac.”

“Don’t cut ponies off, Sweetie Belle. But I suppose if Applejack, or whoever, were to walk you, then I would feel a bit more comfortable with it.”

“So I can go?”

“Fine. You can go. Just be back on time and I won’t be mad at you. Actually, one more thing, and this is very important: where are you going?”

“Just to Sweet Apple Acres.”

“Okay. Then you can go.”

“So neither of you know who I am,” Lavender said. “That comes as a bit of a shock, honestly, but I shall tell you. I am Lavender Honey, the ex-wife of a battery salespony known as Joe. When we started the company—”

“Ah don’t care, just fix AJ.”

“Fix me? You’re the one who’s doin’ some—”

“Long story short, since apparently you aren’t interested, I did all of this, and I’m not letting you go until you agree to aid me in accomplishing my dream of—”

“Dream?!” Apple Bloom said.

Apple Bloom woke up on the couch in front of the television, as that was where she accidentally fell asleep the night before watching youth steeplechase. The television was still on and showing the same race she fell asleep to. It was a rerun; steeplechases over eight hours were only ever held for fully-grown ponies. After a quick trip to the bathroom, she continued watching, and eventually Applejack noticed her.

“Hey, Apple Bloom.”

“Hey. Can Ah go on an adventure with Scootaloo an’ Sweetie Belle?”

“Where you goin’?”

“Jus’ to Sparkstown an’ back.”

“Four hours ah walkin’? What kinda adventure is that?”

“Not much, Ah know, but we need to train ourselves before we take on actual epic adventures.”

“Fair enough. Just be back by midnaht.”

“Ah will.”

Apple Bloom continued to watch the race. Soon enough, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo came to the barn, with nothing funny happening in the interim.

“Hey,” Apple Bloom said.

“Hi,” said Sweetie Belle, wearing a blue-yellow coat with wool-like but synthetic puffs on the ends of the sleeves and rim of the hood.

“Hi,” said Scootaloo, who was wearing a red-green plastic rain poncho.

“Should Ah get mah coat?” Apple Bloom said.

“I thought that was pretty good,” Scootaloo said.

“You know what Ah mean.”

“Yeah, it’s cold enough.”

“‘Kay.” She departed upstairs, leaving Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo to awkwardly look at each other. They hadn’t actually said anything to each other the whole time except for a couple greetings when they coincidentally met each other going to get Apple Bloom. Without either of them saying a word, Apple Bloom came back, wearing a yellow coat with a big red “DHL” on either side.

“Cool,” Sweetie Belle said. Neither of the others got it.

At high noon, they set off for the frigid northern land of Sparkstown. It was only ten kilometres north and only frigid because it was December, but it was a frigid northern land all the same.

“So you were gonna say somethin’?” Apple Bloom said.

“Um, yeah,” Sweetie Belle said, “I was about to say about how I lied to Rarity so I could go on this. I told her I was just going to Sweet Apple Acres.”

“Well, she’s Rarity,” Apple Bloom said. “It’s okay to lah to her.”

“Yeah. I feel like I should feel bad about it, but I just feel like it’s a wacky hijink instead.”

“Well, she’s Rarity. It’s okay to lah to her.”

“Yeah. I feel like I should—”

“Ponies,” Scootaloo said.

“Whahuh?”

“Nothing, you just got in a loop.”

“Oh,” Apple Bloom said. “Thanks.”

“‘Pick her up’?” Applejack said into a wall phone.

“Yes. Sweetie Belle said you would pick her up. She didn’t act like you would find it a surprise.”

“Er... hey, Big Mac!” Big Mac came over. “Were you gonna ‘pick up’ Sweetie Belle? ‘Cause that doesn’t even make sense to me, knowin’ what they’re doin’....”

“No.”

“Yeah, neither ah us know what you mean.”

“She said she was going to come to your house.”

“Apple Bloom said....” At that point, she realised the lie. “Yeah, that’s weird. Ah wasn’t told this maht happen.”

“What did Apple Bloom say?”

“No, it must’ve been somethin’ else. Yeah, Ah dunno.”

“Hang on, I’ll ask her again.” She put down the phone. “Sweetie Belle!” Naturally, she didn’t answer. “I’ll call you back in a few minutes when I find her.”

“Okay.”

After many in-jokes, the Cutie Mark Crusaders reached Interpotia, a village of a few dozen houses which was home to Paradise Cream, an ice cream stand primarily known for killing ponies they caught taking notes or pictures about them. There was one pony who put a video up on his blog, and you know what he’s up to now? Seriously, do you know?

The rectangle of the property had a brick wall four metres high all the way around. When the three rounded the corner to the entrance, they saw a red mare keeping a colt to the ground with her telekinesis and stabbing him repeatedly with a spear.

“Thaaat should be good,” the mare said as she pulled the awkwardly-chipped steel tip out for the last time. “Oh, hi. This foal had a tape recorder—er, digital recorder on him and thought I wouldn’t notice.”

“Really?” Scootaloo said. “In the middle of the day? How much of an idiot can you be?”

“I know, right? Crazy. Oh, and what’s with the mare with the notepad there?”

“She knows the deal, she won’t say anything about the inside. We don’t have time now, but we’ll probably get something here tomorrow.”

“Okay. I’ll clean this up and go back to my hiding place, then.”

“Cool.”

They continued on to Sparkstown, and made it without any incident.

“Welp, city limits,” Apple Bloom read. The sign actually said “WELP, CITY LIMITS”.

“Aren’t there usually more buildings and colours around here?” Scootaloo said.

“Yeah, Ah know what you mean, it feels a bit emptier than usual. Wait a minute, did Ah just say a fancier version ah what somepony said?”

“Yes.”

Apple Bloom fell over and then became catatonic.

“Apple Bloom?” Scootaloo said. She pushed gently on one of her legs, but it wouldn’t move. “Hey, Sweetie Belle, can you teleport us to Zecora?”

“The last time I tried teleporting anywhere, it was five metres away to an open field, and I got there with three of my legs.”

“Well, I don’t know what we’re going to do. I guess pester the nearest unicorn.”

“Sounds good.”

The nearest unicorn was trying to dial a phone whilst being an ungulate quadruped. The flat terrain and the middle-class tract housing of Sparkstown continued to provide nothing for a transcriber to comment upon.

“Hey,” Scootaloo said, attempting to snap with a hoof.

“What?” said the bystander who asked that their name, sex, fur colour, and number of foals raped not be revealed. “Two thirds of the Cutie Mark Crusaders? What are you doing here?”

“Apple Bloom said an inflected word and realising it made her freeze. Can you teleport us to Zecora?”

“I went to her once for a thing, so maybe. And just so you know, I’ve raped a lifetime total of zero foals.”

“I don’t know if ‘maybe’ is worth the risk.”

“It’ll be fine, I’m a good teleporter.”

“Let’s find somepony else.”

They found someone else.

“Can you teleport us to Zecora?”

“No.”

The fifteenth pony said yes, and they went there.

“The Cutie Mark Crusaders and one I don’t recognise,” Zecora said. “I see Apple Bloom is... very... I can’t think of a rhyme.”

“Fix her,” Scootaloo said.

After a looking through a few cupboards whilst muttering to herself, Zecora got a potion and poured it down her throat. She got up.

“Er... thanks, Zecora. Sorry for makin’ us fail the adventure, not Zecora.”

“We can just try again tomorrow,” Scootaloo said.

Everyone went home.

The next morning, Scootaloo was eating some slightly mouldy bread she’d procured from a bread bag that had been littered near to her overnight. Meanwhile, Sweetie Belle was eating Magnalarge Oat Rings, a store brand knockoff of Euphorios, with Apple Bloom having their local rival Big Stopmart Apple Rings, a knockoff of Ciderings, Equestria’s only alcoholic cereal. Like most Ciderings ripoffs, this version differed in being soft.

“Sweetie Belle an’ me an’ Scootaloo are goin’ to Paradahse Cream,” Apple Bloom said.

“Sounds good,” Applejack said. “Does it sound good to you, Big Mac?”

“You don’t care, you just want me to say it.”

“Scootaloo and I and Apple Bloom are going to Paradise Cream,” Sweetie Belle said.

“You’re still grounded for sneaking out.”

“I’ll be back in time, don’t worry. I was back in time last time, wasn’t I?”

“You know that wasn’t the problem.”

“No, I don’t.”

“If you defy your grounding, I’m going to start taking things away from you.”

“Like what?”

“I’d rather not tell you.”

After the meal was over, Sweetie Belle went back up to her room. For now, she still had her laptop, so she brought up Vapour, the only vaguely popular chat client in Equestria, and more importantly the one Apple Bloom had.

“Apple Bloom”

“y”

“I have a plan”

“?”

“Maybe you could ask Twilight to threaten Rarity and get me ungrounded? She must like me more than _Rarity_”

“!”

“Ut’s worth a shot”

“k”

“So you’ll try it”

“y”

“Okay”

Spike got the door.

“Hi, Apple Bloom.”

“Hey. Can you get Twahlaht?”

“I’ll see.” He closed the door. “Twiiiliiight!” he said, which was very audible through the door. She came down and he opened it again.

“Hi, Apple Bloom.”

“Sweetie Belle’s grounded. Can you make Rarity unground her?”

“I don’t really care that she’s grounded.”

“Come on. Do it to make Rarity sad.”

“I don’t care.”

“But her against Rarity! Who do you lahke more?”

“Hmm... if you can make it Rainbow Dash against Rarity, I’ll do it.”

“How am I supposed to fahnd her?”

“That’s your problem.” She shut the door.

Apple Bloom decided to go back home, figuring she might come there for sex. That night, someone knocked the door, and she rushed down to answer it.

“Rainbow Dash!”

“Uh... hi. Did you want to see me?”

“Tomorrow, can you tell Twahlaht to make Rarity unground Sweetie Belle?”

“Why should I care about whether Sweetie Belle is grounded?”

Applejack arrived. “What’s goin’ on?”

“Come on. Sweetie Belle versus Rarity. Who would you rather be happy?”

“If you can make it Scootaloo versus Rarity, then I won’t mind.”

“Come on, obviously she’ll support the cause.”

“I need to hear it from her.”

“All raht.” She went back upstairs.

The next day was a school day. Sweetie Belle remained grounded, but it was time to inform Scootaloo of the situation. Only a short exchange between classes was needed.

“Scootaloo.”

“Um... yeah? Why are you talking like—”

“Ah don’t know if you noticed, but Sweetie Belle’s grounded. But if you tell Rainbow Dash you care, it’ll cause a chain reaction ending in her being ungrounded.”

“How?”

“She’ll tell Twahlaht, who’ll then make Rarity do it bah force.”

“How am I supposed to talk to her?”

“Ah dunno, stay with me. There’s a good chance she’ll see AJ.”

“Why?”

“It’s a secret.”

“This sounds like it’s about to collapse and end in a life sentence.”

“Ah’ll be fahne. So you good with the plan?”

“I’ll definitely stay with you.”

“But are you in?”

“Yes.”

The night passed with Rainbow Dash never arriving. The next day, they did exactly the same thing, and that time she did. This time it was Scootaloo who rushed to the door.

“Hi... Scootaloo.”

“I support Sweetie Belle being ungrounded.”

“Oh, it’s about that. I looked for you at your corner today and yesterday, but you weren’t there.”

“Oh. Anyway, you’ll tell Twilight?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool.”

The next morning, Twilight came into the Carousel Boutique.

“Hello, Twilight. ...What is that sphere of magic for?”

“I want you to unground Sweetie Belle.”

“What? What difference does it make to you?”

“Rainbow Dash wants it, and her happiness means more to me than yours.”

“Why does she care, then?”

“I don’t know. I think Apple Bloom started it, but maybe it’s a longer chain than that. It doesn’t matter to me, Rainbow said she wants it, so I’m letting her have it.”

“You aren’t actually going to hurt me, are you?”

“Not if you let her go.”

“What are you going to do if I don’t?”

“You want to find out?”

“I mean, you can’t seriously be doing this... this must be a prank or something....”

“I’m serious.”

“You... this can’t actually mean anything to you. I’ll take the chance.”

Rarity had time to reflexively recoil in terror before the white knockout ray hit her. “Hey, Sweetie Belle!”

Sweetie Belle came down. “You knocked her out?”

“Yep. They’re waiting outside.”

She went outside, where they were waiting.

“Hey,” Apple Bloom said.

“Hi,” Scootaloo said.

“Hello,” Apple Bloom countered.

“Greetings.”

“Ah am very pleased to meet you, O dearest Sweetie Belle.”

“Salutations, my as always wonderful friend Sweetie Belle. How have the affairs of your life been since we last encountered each other?”

“Sweetie Belle, mah ever lovely—”

“Okay, that’s enough.”

“My dearest friend,” Scootaloo said, “Are you stating to us that you do not enjoy—”

“Yes.”

They made their way to Paradise Cream. No one was being killed this time, so they went along to the ordering window, thinking again of that idiot with the audio recorder.

“The Cutie Mark Crusaders!” said the light brown earth stallion who had worked at the joint since its inception in his unmistakable Andorran accent. “Welcome once again.”

Apple Bloom turned to the others. “What do we want?”

“Usual,” Scootaloo said.

“Interpotiacone,” Sweetie Belle blurted out her usual because she was under pressure to pick something and it’s not like she could just keep them waiting because that would be so awkward.

The sister of Twilight’s girlfriend’s primary girlfriend turned back. “A blueberry pah crust, an Interpotiacone, and an apple skin.”

“All right, I’ll get that right out.”

“Really, Apple Bloom?” Scootaloo said. “Do you really need more apply foods in your life?”

“Whah change perfection?”

“It seems to me like you should take whatever chance you get not to eat apples. Well, I doubt the ice cream from here actually has real apples, but you know what I mean.”

“Don’t go tellin’ me how to live, it’s not like Ah weigh a ton or somethin’. Really, Ah should be tellin’ you how ta live. Ah mean, you sleep outsahde in snow.”

“Whenever it gets dangerously cold, I’m always at—”

“It’s always dangerously cold in winter without some kinda clothes. And are you at somepony’s house every single day all the tahme? No, you aren’t. So how do you not freeze to death?”

“Usually I have clothes. Like I do right now.” They were all wearing the same clothes from the last expedition. “I’m fine, so just let me handle my own life, okay? I know what I’m doing.”

“Ponies,” the stallion said. They all looked towards him and Sweetie Belle took the cups. They went to sit against the brick wall.

“How’s yours since it’s all new for us?” Apple Bloom said to Sweetie Belle. Scootaloo was clearly too excited about having food to have complex thoughts, much less articulate them.

“I haven’t even tried it yet.” Sweetie Belle closed her eyes and lowered her head over the swirl of ice cream to get as much of it as she could take in her mouth without vomiting, a limit she knew all too well. Everything else quickly vanished from her mind to focus on licking the ice cream, sometimes sucking it a little, in as many places as possible. Maybe she would find that perfect small area, or maybe travelling all around would be best, but whichever way that would end up going, she was very pleased and relaxed by the simple yet supremely satisfying taste of the ice cream in her mouth.

“Sweetie Belle?” Apple Bloom said. “You okay?”

She stopped working on the ice cream and looked at Apple Bloom. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why, was there a reason to think I wasn’t?”

“Your ahs were closed and you seemed a bit lost in... well... never mahnd. How is it?”

“It’s really good. It’s definitely, like, one of the best flavours I’ve ever had. Um, you remembered to pay him, right?”

“Uh... hold this.”

Apple Bloom went to the window, got the money out of her pocket on the second try, and came back to an eager and anxious Sweetie Belle and an already finished Scootaloo. Sweetie Belle gave the ice cream back.

“I need to get a new box sometime soon,” Scootaloo said. “Preferably one that I can fit in without it almost breaking like the last one I had.”

“You can stay with me if it gets too cold,” Apple Bloom said.

“You can stay with me if it gets too cold,” said Sweetie Belle.

“I do like the potential of annoying Rarity with my homeless dirtiness,” Scootaloo said, “But I also like having my homeless dirtiness tolerated with Sweet Apple Acres. There’s probably somewhere where I can annoy and be tolerated....”

Sweetie Belle said “Would Fluttershy be annoyed?”.

“She’s way too sympathetic and fluffy to get annoyed about helping a homeless foal.”

“Then I don’t know.”

The two unfinished continued to eat, and they all talked about things like the council and their stupid decision on milk and how much of a bitch Stacey is. Things that only people who went to the same school would understand. That took up the rest of their time together, leaving nothing of interest for a general audience. Next Chapter: Chapter 37: Time Marches On Estimated time remaining: 16 Hours, 7 Minutes