“Aww,” Rainbow said. “I wanted a party.” No one else was there to respond to her. “I’m bored of sleeping, but I’m not awake enough to fly. To AJ!”

And so she flew at a relaxed pace over to Sweet Apple Acres. Despite the very clear knock-knock, Apple Bloom opened the door without asking her identity.

“AJ’s apple-buckin’.”

“I see. Thank you for the information, Apple Bloom Apple.”

“You’re welcome.” She closed the door.

“To Twilight!”

She travelled to Twilight’s and knocked her door in both ways. She answered it in one.

“Hi, Rainbow. Look, I’m sorry, but I have studies....”

“Oh. Can I just hang out?”

“I really have to concentrate, so I want to be alone. Sorry....”

Rainbow flew away. It didn’t matter where, all she wanted to do was pick a diagonally up direction and go there and feel sad. She found a really nice cloud, which almost cheered her up, but it was so nice she fell asleep, which made her not any emotion.

Rainbow woke up to find herself in the middle of the floor of a bar strikingly similar in appearance to whatever is currently in the first picture on Wikipedia’s article on bars. It was very quiet since the only one there was Apple Bloom, who was behind the bar polishing a glass mug using the tried and true breathe on it then wipe it with a rag method.

She got up off the floor. “Apple Bloom? What are you doing at a bar?” Rainbow looked out the large glass front windows which took up pretty much the entire wall they were on. It was nighttime out in the flat, completely snow-covered area stretching beyond the horizon in which the bar was apparently located.

“Oh, good,” Apple Bloom said, “You’re awake. You should be goin’ now, we’re closed.”

“That doesn’t answer my question. Also, I have a second question of where am I and why. I guess that’s two questions, but whatever.”

“Ah’m here ‘cause Ah’m the bartender. And as for the second question, you’re still sleepin’ at your cloud.”

“What? That’s where I was when I fell asleep, but now I’m here.”

“You’re dreamin’, Rainbow.”

Rainbow woke up.

“Dammit! Why do you always wake up when that happens?” She paused for a moment. “Well, I don’t feel like I wanna go right back to sleep, but what do I do? I’m still a horny teenager, but both my girlfriends have work to do, so what am I supposed to do? Clop? I’ve never clopped before unless they told me to.... I guess I could try clopping, but... that’s for ponies with no self-control. I have self-control. And I don’t need sexual feelingness every single day. But today is one of the days I do. Who am I talking to?” She noticed she had sunk into the cloud slightly and, now that she was thinking about it, adjusted herself slightly to be even more snug. The way her head was squeezed in there like that looked weird from the outside.

After some sleep, Rainbow woke up on the same cloud from before. It was now nighttime.

“It’s night? How long did I sleep?”

“You’re still sleeping,” camerapony #2 said.

“Huh?”

“You’re in a dream.”

“Oh.” She paused. “Hey, I’m not wakin’ up! What should I do? It should be something that would have repercussions in real life. Like... goin’ on a massive killing spree! But who would I kill? I know everypony here, I wouldn’t wanna kill any of them. I guess Rarity would go first, then prolly Diamond Tiara. Or maybe Diamond Tiara should die first. I dunno. I’m sure there are a couple other ponies I’m forgetting that I’d be fine with killing too. But what if I’m not actually in a dream? What if this is real life, and camerapony #2 just told me it was a dream? Wait a second, I know for sure this is a dream because—”

Rainbow woke up.

“Dammit! So I can’t get to sleep, I’m not alert enough to fly without dying, neither of my girlfriends wanna have sex... but that’s all I do. What’s left? No work, no Cloudsdale stuff... what am I supposed to do, have an interesting life? Well, I do already, just not to other ponies. You know what I mean, Rainbow. But I don’t mind doing the same five things over and over again. And... um... and... actually, that’s my point.”

Camerapony #2 was playing iPad Tetris and not actually working the camera at all.

“Hey, transcriber #4?” camerapony #2 said.

“What?” transcriber #4 said.

“I’ll give you five bits if you don’t transcribe me playing iPad Tetris on the job.”

“No, I think I’d rather keep it in.”

“Ten bits?”

“No.”

“Eleven?”

“I’m not blackmailing you.”

“Fine. Can I give you ten bits to leave out the bribery I tried to do?”

“No.”

“So when’re the sex and violence?” Rainbow said.

“We plant for the sex to be first,” camerapony #2 said, “But obviously that didn’t work, so you should kill some stuff now.”

“Are there any ponies I wanna kill? I think I discussed that with myself in that dream I had... maybe Diamond Tiara. I mean, there are other bitch characters, but they’re all just one-time. I’m not sure I wanna disrupt the war system with the CMC, though. But then who’s gonna commit the violence? Or the sex?”

Lyra and Octavia were idly watching one of those documentaries that doesn’t actually document or study stuff and just pushes an agenda. That’s not the interesting part, the interesting part is when Lyra randomly slapped Octavia in the cheek.

“Ow!” Octavia said, as you do, putting a hoof on her cheek, as you do. “What was that for?”

“Just to get the violence out of the way to make sure it doesn’t involve death or something.”

“You could’ve told me about that before you hit me....”

“That’s not really in the spirit of violence.”

“I’m breaking up with you.”

“I don’t feel like begging.”

“We’re back together.”

“Yay.”

Silence barring the television showing the “document”ary, but it was commercials so whether it was really showing it is up for debate.

“I know what we should do if we’re back together,” Lyra said.

“No.”

“But the contract....”

“Fine.”

“Why did I say that? Now I have to wait again.”

“I still don’t really want to do it.”

“Hopefully that works for them.”

They got into it a bit and missed a few minutes of the film.

“The ‘document’ary’s back on,” Octavia said. “I think we missed a few minutes of it kissing.”

“How would a documentary kiss?”

“Lyra.”

“Sorry. ‘Document’ary.”

“Lyra.”

“Sorry. Who cares anyway, it’s just a ‘document’ary, not a documentary.”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“I couldn’t think of anything to say.”

“Then you’re supposed to sexually assault me.”

“But I’m Octavia.”

“Why am I girlfriends with you?”

“You want to break up?”

Lyra instantly cried like she saw a kitten die and hugged her. “I didn’t mean to say anything like that, I know I’m not perfect, but I’ll change. And don’t tell me you want me to stay how I am. You’re a better pony than me, so logically if I change to be like you or what you want I’ll be better.”

“I want to be with you, Lyra. You don’t need to insult yourself.”

“You don’t want me to be dramatic all the time?”

“I don’t like it when you’re dramatic.”

“And you like ice-cream, too. Why am I your girlfriend again? I know, you don’t have to tell me your personality, don’t answer that. And it’s not as if food is like works or something where there’s actually a correct answer to how good it is anyway.”

“You should probably have a comma after ‘something’.”

“That sounds like something you should bring up with the transcribers.”

“But they read your mind, so they know you imagined it without a comma.”

“What do you mean? I don’t imagine my sentences in text when I say them.”

“I imagine my moderate-strength punctuation like semicolons.”

“Well, commas aren’t that. So there.”

Meanwhile, Twilight had just left her treehouse. Spike followed her for the screen time.

“Rainbow!” she said into the overcast sky not quite loudly enough for allcaps. Nothing happened.

“Rainbow Dash!”

Nothing happened for four to six seconds.

“RAAAIIINBOOOW!”

Nothing happened for four microfortnights.

“Where is she? She’s not directly above me, so what’s left? The rest of the world, I guess, but she should be directly above me.”

“We’ll call her over,” a camerapony who wishes to remain anonymous said.

“Wasn’t there a thing about how there wouldn’t be any more artificially organised chapters?”

“Yeah, because she has something better to do.”

A staff was radioed.

“Hey, Rainbow?” camerapony #2 said.

“What? I’m tryin’ to sleep.”

“Twilight wants you. In two senses of the word.”

“I’ll be there faster than Rainbow Dash. And don’t correct my grammar.”

Knock-knock!

“Who’s there?” Twilight said. Rainbow looked to her left and saw her.

“You’re outside.”

“Uh-huh.”

“We’re not having sex outside.”

“Come on, don’t you want something different?”

“I don’t want something unsanitary.”

“You do it with AJ all the time.”

“But I don’t have an outside or ground fetish or anything like that. I mean, it’s not a turn-off, but... you know. I feel like inside tonight.”

“You’re just scared that somepony’ll see us.”

“I don’t have any outside-related fetishes.”

“Fine, we can be inside if you’re going to be that insistent about it.”

They went inside.

“So have you reconsidered the whole backup girlfriend thing yet?”

“I prefer AJ over you and that’s all there is to it.”

“But you want some variety, right? Sometimes you want Twilight because she’s more interesting and cleaner and more likely to rape you than Applejack?”

“No. Hey, you got somethin’ on your leg.”

Twilight coincidentally looked at the correct leg and found a key on it. She tried to push it off with minimal effort, failing. She decided against doing it too hard and taking part of her fur with it.

“How did that get there?” Twilight said as if Rainbow would know.

“i dunno lol”

“I’ll get some water around it and see if I can get it off then.”

“k”

Twilight went to the lavatory.

Twilight looked at the camera. “Seriously? I’m just seeing if I can get this key off, Rainbow and Spike are probably having some hilarious conversation right now.”

“It’s not fair,” Rainbow said. “You get arms and fingers and stuff and I don’t.”

“Would you rather be a dragon?”

“Well, no, but... sometimes I want thumbs is all.”

Wait, is this ten minutes of Twilight trying to get something off her fur? I thought I sacked Jerry months ago. Anyway, she did it and put the key on the sink.

“You’re back,” Rainbow said as if this wasn’t obvious.

“Come on, we need to have sex in another room or Spike’ll be traumatised.”

“I’d be fine,” Spike said. “Not that I want to watch you have sex, but I’d live.”

“Come on,” Twilight said.

“Fine.”

“‘Fine’? If you don’t want to have sex, that’s okay.”

“What else would I come over here for?”

“I don’t know... if you randomly felt lonely?”

“I’m Rainbow Dash.”

“It could happen. It did for a while.”

“Yeah, and Octavia could decide to become a monster truck driver.”

“Look, do you want to have sex or not?”

“Yes.”

“So we have three options,” camerapony #151,943 said, “End the chapter, Twidash sex, or watch Spike do stand-up comedy.”

“End the chapter,” camerapony #2 said.

Next Chapter: Chapter 145: Nothing Happens, Part 145 Estimated time remaining: 8 Hours, 3 Minutes