It was a partly cloudy, schizophrenically-lighted afternoon at Arboreal Park. Over to the left, you’ll see some trees, and over here to the right of the half gravel, 40% sand, 10% you don’t want to know road is some grass. Pinkie Pie was talking to Rarity for reasons that were never elaborated upon, again.

“Well, it’s gonna be the tenth episode of the show’s new run,” Pinkie said as if Rarity didn’t know. “You know what that calls for?”

“A celebration?”

“Nah, too fancy. I was thinking...” Pinkie stretched it out as if there was some suspense to what she was going to say, “A party!”

The footage cut to a party in Sugarcube Corner involving a number of extras and minor characters in short dance loops. Twilight was wearing a paper crown party hat and sitting at a table, savouring each bite of her muffin-size cupcake for just a little too long to not look weird, when Rainbow Dash literally flew into her.

“Is that what I think it is?” Rainbow Dash said.

“You shouldn’t be flying here,” said Twilight, half-dead.

“zomg blue partyhat!!1!1!” Rainbow exclaimed.

“You hit me for that?” Twilight queried in pain.

Rainbow snatched the party hat from her head and escaped across the floor. As if on cue, Rarity walked up to Twilight a couple seconds afterwards.

“Was that a partyhat?” Rarity said. “A blue one?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“That shall be my partyhat, Rainbow Dash!” Rarity said just barely angrily enough to merit an exclamation mark before ploughing through several extras to reach her. On cue, Applejack walked up to Twilight.

“Do you know what Rainbow and Rarity’s obsessions with party hats are all about?” Twilight said, still on the floor. “First Rainbow tackled me to steal mine, then Rarity went after her....”

“Rainbow has a partyhat? Where is she?”

“Just over there....” Twilight said, pointing in Rainbow’s direction.

“That’s gonna be mah fuckin’ partyhat, Rainbow!” Applejack said, also before ploughing through an extra as she ran across the floor to fight her. Twilight sighed and walked over to Pinkie Pie, who was at a table talking to one of her friends, which narrows it down to everyone in Ponyville.

“Hey, Pinkie Pie.” This was an attention-getting hey, not a greeting hey.

Pinkie looked over to Twilight. “Yeah?”

“Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity are going crazy over this party hat, do you know—”

“One of those paper crown ones?”

“Yeah! Do you know why—”

Pinkie charged across the room, leaving just one more mane six for Twilight to interact with.

“Fluttershy?”

“Yes, Twilight?”

“Do you know why all our friends are going crazy over a party hat?”

“Is it one of those paper crown ones?”

“...Yyyeees....”

Fluttershy looked downward for a moment. “I don’t know.”

After she said this, the silence made the viewers much more aware of the music that had been playing the entire scene.

In a corner of Sugarcube Corner, Rarity was already knocked out on account of some vaguely unsportsmanlike collusion from Rainbow and Applejack before Pinkie Pie even arrived.

“Ponies?” Pinkie said.

Nothing changed.

“Ponies!”

Nothing changed.

“Twilight can do stuff, I’ll get her.”

She looked around for Twilight and found her in the adjacent but not closest corner (see fig. 1).

A-----B

|         |

C-----D

Fig. 1: If Pinkie Pie is at A, Twilight (and Fluttershy) are at B.

Seeing her there didn’t mean she actually decided to go there, but she did.

“Hey, Pinkie Pie,” Twilight said. “Can you get Fluttershy to say something? It’s her turn to talk and she won’t say anything.”

“I need you at corner A.”

“What?”

“The one where that fight’s going on.”

“Am I supposed to stop it?”

“Yes.”

“All right.”

Pinkie went off.

“Is something wrong, Fluttershy?” Twilight said. “Usually you at least answer questions.”

“I’m fine.”

She went to the fight scene. Neither of the lying-on-the-floor, holding-and-punching-each-other participants were wearing the crown, it instead being safely stashed on Rarity. So they assumed, because Twilight took it and tore it in two. After a couple seconds of deciding the best way to get their attention, she kicked Applejack in the eye. They both paused and looked at Twilight.

“A new challenger appears?” Rainbow said. “Also, why’s the partyhat in two pieces?”

“I’m still holding it? Oh, I’m still holding it. Yeah, I tore it in two.”

Applejack and Rainbow “Dash” Dash stood up.

“Why would you do that?” Applejack said.

“So you would stop fighting.”

“We’re not hurt,” Rainbow said.

“It was going to happen. I mean, look at Rarity.”

Looking at Rarity, she could’ve used a new mandible.

“We should probably take her to Zecora,” Twilight said.

“You’ve been there before,” Rainbow said, “Can’t you teleport her there?”

“That wouldn’t be as dramatic. And there are a lot of trees.”

Pinkie Pie was talking to a background pony—foreground, strictly speaking—when Twilight interrupted their conversation.

“Pinkie Pie?”

“What?”

“We need you to come to Zecora with us.”

“Why?”

“One of us goes or we all do it together. That’s the rule.”

“I’ll go if you can get Fluttershy to agree first.”

“Okay.”

The other two staying behind, Twilight went to Fluttershy alone.

“Fluttershy.”

“What is it?”

“You’re going to Zecora with me and the rest of the group.”

“Do you need—”

“Yes.”

“It just—”

“Come on.”

With everyone in one place, there was one thing left.

“Applejack, you’re carrying Rarity first,” Twilight said. “We’ll take shifts.”

“Whah me?”

“You’re the one responsible for all this.”

“Rainbow—”

“Well, it has to be one of you, and I’ve chosen you. Get over it.”

“Okay, but how—”

“I bet you wouldn’t be wondering if you weren’t chosen. It doesn’t matter anyway, so and get her.”

The group set off for the first method of healing that popped into someone’s head, leaving the party in anarchy. They then, and I am not kidding, came across some poison joke. I mean, there’s fanfiction and there’s uncreativity.

“Okay,” Rainbow said. “If we carry everypony across—”

“But...” Fluttershy interrupted. Wait, Fluttershy interrupted? Holy fuck, this is serious!

“What?”

“If we take Twilight or Rarity first, then Pinkie Pie will eat Applejack.”

“Why’d Pinkie wanna eat me?”

“Because you’d taste like apples!”

“Pinkie,” Twilight said, “Pie?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t eat Applejack.”

“Fine....”

They then made it to Zecora without any incidents of note (well, besides that one, but ewww) and barged in.

“Rarity’s broken,” Twilight said. “Can you fix her?”

“You could knock,” Zecora said.

“Can you fix her?”

“Yes.”

One suspense-filled injection of biotriabenzoylcetylmethyloxine later, Rarity was not magically okay.

“Why isn’t she alive yet?” Rainbow said.

“It’s been two seconds,” Zecora said, “Wait a minute.”

One minute later, Rainbow complained again. “She isn’t alive yet.”

“It’s an expression,” the zebra-striped zebra responded.

Two minutes later, Rarity woke up. “Bgkszx,” she said without any near-close near-back vowels or schwas. Hilarious, right?

“Can you stand up?” Zecora said.

Rarity stood up. “What am I—”

“Good. Now all of you go home.”

“Thanks for healing me,” Rarity said out of nowhere exactly as Twilight crossed the city limits of Ponyville. “And who got the partyhat, anyway?”

“I tore it in two so they would stop fighting.”

“You did?” Rarity said in a shocked tone, similar to the time she accidentally walked into an electric fence.

“Yeah. It was the only way—”

Rarity tried to strangle Twilight with a leg, but Applejack intervened as if she was somehow going to succeed.

“Did you seriously just try to kill me over a piece of paper you couldn’t do anything about?”

“Well....”

“You tried to take my life, and for what? What were you going to gain out of it? Revenge? For a piece of fucking paper that makes you feel fun? Clearly you really are the materialistic little b—”

“Calm down, Twilight,” Applejack said.

“But she—she tried to kill me! I would be dead if she got her way, if none of you ponies were here! I mean, wrap your mind around that for a second. Twilight Sparkle, dead. And what about the ele—”

“And what’re you gonna gain from this, Twilight? It’s been done, she ain’t gonna do it again.”

“She tried to—”

“I was never going to kill you,” Rarity said, “Just get you unconscious. Sheesharonis, dawg.”

“We’ve given up acting foal-friendly to each other, haven’t we?” Fluttershy said.

“I said ‘die’ a couple times,” Rarity said, “And they allowed that.”

“Shows a lot about today that you think somethin’ ah that,” Applejack said. “Ah mean, just a few years ago when Ah—”

“Hey, wait a second!” Rainbow said. “You know what we’ve been doing tonight?”

“What?” everyone said in unison.

“Caring about Rarity!”

“You know, you’re right,” Twilight said.

Everyone stopped talking, Rainbow flew away, Pinkie and Twilight went back to Sugarcube Corner, and the rest went home. Next Chapter: Chapter 11: Fluttershy Goes to Market Estimated time remaining: 17 Hours, 57 Minutes