“Hey, you know something we should have, Octavia?”

“Yes?”

“Oh.”

“No, ‘yes’ as in ‘what’.”

“Oh. A chapter that chronicles a conversation.”

“Lyra, your voice seems a little off.”

“I—” she put her hoof over her mouth and unsuccessfully tried to stifle a cough.

“Are you okay, Lyra?” Octavia looked at her. “Apple Bloom?”

“Yeah?”

“Get out of my house.”

“Ahkay....” And so Apple Bloom left her house.

“Where’s Lyra?” Octavia said to herself.

Right then, Lyra walked into the room, coming off an unsuccessful experiment involving porting heavy metal music to lyres.

“There you are, Lyra. You’re late, the chapter’s already started.”

“As long as I don’t get sacked, right?”

“Is that the sort of conduct you apply to your actual job?”

“No, but this is a pornographic reality show. Should I sit down since you’re sitting at the table and I’m not?”

“If you want. I don’t have a preference.”

“I won’t. Hey, did I hear Apple Bloom in here a minute ago?”

“Yes. She was imponiating you.”

“How did you catch her?”

“She coughed after saying a long I.”

“Great job, Octavia.”

“What?”

“Your tale of use of everyday basic logic just made me want to go on a detective adventure.”

“What would you try to solve?”

“Uh... if there are any mysteries in Ponyville.”

“Well, there’s at least one.”

“What?”

“Whether there are any mysteries in Ponyville.”

“Then mystery solved: there are.”

“But now your mystery’s solved, so we don’t know again.”

“Then I’ll find out.”

“Well, I know of at least one.”

Eight hours later, Lyra woke up on the kitchen floor. She rubbed her eyes, moaned, and stood up in that order. She saw that Octavia was still fainted on the row of two chairs she was on, but at least she was okay. Either that or she had died. The last time Lyra tried to check for a pony’s pulse, Zecora told her she was wrong, so she wasn’t as confident in that as she used to be. But whether she trusted pulses anymore or not, it was time to play everyone’s favourite game, wait or bring her to the hospital. You can play it too; just go outside and bash your knee against the ground until you get an open wound! She chose wait, specifically wait in her computer room, and a couple more hours later, Octavia woke up. She got up and the faint noise suggestive of walking made Lyra ran back to the kitchen.

“Octavia! I’m so glad you’re okay. You’re not mad at me for choosing wait, are you?”

“I’m okay with it. What were we—”

It was hard to talk being forcibly kissed.

“Lyra, you don’t have to do it for—”

“Just one time, I wish you’d slowly close your eyes, give in to desires, put a leg behind my neck, and kiss your girlfriend. This isn’t the third dimension where everypony’s as impassionate and prudish as you are.”

“I’m not going to do that, Lyra.”

“So can’t kiss you for more than five seconds without asking you first?”

“That’s not what I’m trying to say.”

“Well, that’s what I’m getting from you.”

“You know what? Fine. Today... tonight... being fainted for what I assume has been hours has made everything a bit strange. But until midnight, you can do whatever you want to me. I’ll even join in like you always want me to.”

“Are you sure you want to let your girlfriend kiss you? That can lead to all sorts of fun and happiness, you know.”

“I’ll be fine, L—”

Lyra kissed her again to see. Octavia actually participated, and just like that they were kissing like a normal couple. But as fantastic as it was, it had to end, if for no other reason than falling levels in stuff and other science meant the planet was unable to support multicellular life. That wasn’t the reason, though, Lyra just decided she was convinced.

“Octavia, you look like you’re smiling. Why are you smiling?”

“I liked it.”

“See? It’s good once you try it.”

“I’m sorry I was so ridiculous about it.”

“It’s okay, I still love you. So are you just being impulsive and crazy or are you sure you’ll let your girlfriend kiss you now?”

“I know what I’m saying, Lyra.”

“Okay. This doesn’t mean you’ll stop being fancy, right? I wouldn’t want this to become one of those relationships where the fancy pony stops being fancy.”

“I won’t.”

“Good.”

“I can’t believe I was rejecting forced kisses from my girlfriend.”

“You were just being prissy like you always are. So do you want to have hour-long snogging times like a normal couple?”

“You don’t have to ask anymore.”

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