“Not in her house,” Twilight said. “Well, I give up.”

And so everyone continued the discussion about how many of Pinkie Pie’s legs to chop off.

“Well, Ah think one would be best for a first offence,” Applejack said.

“I was thinking one myself,” Twilight said.

“I would prefer two, but if everypony else wants one, I’m cool with that,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Do we have to chop off any of her legs?” Fluttershy said, questioning if chopping off any of Pinkie Pie’s legs was actually necessary.

“Yes,” Twilight said without really thinking about it.

“Wait, won’t we need some kind of tool to chop her legs off with?” Rainbow said. Pinkie slowly started to sneak away from the group.

“Already covered,” said Applejack as she pulled a circular saw out of hammerspace.

“Hey!” Twilight stated on 8 December 2011. “She’s getting away!”

Hearing this, Pinkie abandoned all effort to be stealthy and started running. Applejack easily caught up and tackled her. Twilight held her down with magic, and Applejack got off and started the saw.

“Wait!” Pinkie said. “Look, I didn’t want to do this! I know it was wrong, but I seriously need the job! Like I was cut off, Sugarcube Corner is going through a rough... patch, maybe... time, and they’ve had to make cuts including my pay, and had I to do something ‘crazy’ to stay on the show. Rainbow was never actually gonna get hurt, and I’m really sorry if she’s traumatised. I know it was bad, but I had to do it, so it was like a... chain of forcing from the executives down to Fluttershy. It’s not my fault.”

Applejack quit her attempts to start the saw. “Well... how traumatahsed are ya, Rainbow Dash?”

“I’m okay. I guess we really don’t have to do anything.”

“Ah’m sawrry we just tried to cut off one of your legs, Pinkie,” Applejack said. “Maybe that’s overreactin’ a bit.”

“No, I’m sorry I tried that. I went way too far, and there are other ways I can be interesting.”

“Hey, Twilight,” Applejack said.

“Yeah?” Twilight said.

“Ah dunno... with an asterisk.”

Twilight broke out into hysterical laughter. Next Chapter: Chapter 9: The Cheddar Wheel of Balance Estimated time remaining: 18 Hours, 12 Minutes