Chapter Seventeen: Training Begins.

***

Hell Blazer groaned, his eyes slowly flitting open. He was lying on cold hard stone floor, his back aching slightly from having apparently passed out on it.

"What in the name of bloody hell did I even do last night?" he said aloud, sitting up. He looked around: he was surrounded by sleeping people, a handful of Dead Men guards patrolling the room and more presumably manning the defensive positions. Near him he could see Dream Flyer and Errant Flight sleeping, near a whole bunch of members of the Holy Order of Albion. Slowly and groggily, his memory of the previous night returned…

***

Hell Blazer gulped down what might have been his twelfth drink – he wasn't entirely certain. He wasn't quite as able to hold his drink as well as he used to be able to. He wasn't human and, as True Grit had once told him (his True Grit, not the comparatively fresh faced newcomer who had come with the bloody Element bearers), pony bodies weren't built for this sort of lifestyle. Not that Hell Blazer cared. It was still probably going to last longer than his old, knackered body would have.

He smirked slightly at the members of the Holy Order of Albion, who were over by a makeshift bar drinking. They were, by and large, a rather raucous lot – he had met members of other cults that had sprung up during the last ten years, and most of them had been rather dour types, not usually seen letting their hair down. The closest most of them got was groups like the Dead Men, a group of which were off further in the church drinking what could only be assumed to be some kind of alcoholic beverage. The only one of them that looked like they were having a good time was the girl with her guitar, strumming along to the music

Suddenly, one of the more drunk men among the regular soldiers started sniggering, then guffawing, then finally laughing out loud.

"What's up with you?" his friend asked him from the bench next to him. The laughing, smiling soldier couldn't speak for a moment, until finally he pointed at the knights of the Order of Albion.

"It's… it's just..." he began, but he couldn't control his laughing enough to continue. He stood up, and began walking towards the DJ box where Vinyl Scratch sat, blaring loud music out. When he reached her, he leaned up to whisper something in her ear. She nodded with a grin, and changed the disc. Suddenly an entirely different song began playing. The soldier who had ordered it pointed dramatically at the members of the Holy Order of Albion.

"We're Knights of the Round Table,
We dance when e'er we're able,
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impeccable.
We dine well here in Camelot,
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot…"

One of the members of the Order stood up, and suddenly the music scratched of, as Vinyl cut the music off with a slightly abashed look. Complete silence descended upon the hall of St Paul's as the members of the Order faced against the suddenly ashen soldier who had ordered the song. Then, to everyone's surprise, the leader of the group broke out into a massive grin and began singing acapella.

"We're Knights of the Round Table,
Our show are formidable,
But many times, we're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable.
We're Opera mad in Camelot,
We sing from the diaphragm
a looooooot…!"

And suddenly the entire room was filled with loud singing as the various groups of people began singing completely without musical backing or, in most cases, any semblance of a tune. Hell Blazer laughed as the entire hall sang.

"In war we're tough and able,
Quite indefatigable,
Between our quests we sequin vests,
And impersonate Clark Gable.
It's a busy life in Camelot,.."

And then a deep, croaking voice lanced out into the hall as everyone else was silenced buy it.

"I have to push the pram a lot…!"

Suddenly, all eyes turned to look at Hell Blazer, who was stood on a table, one foreleg extended in a grandiose gesture, and the other placed upon his chest, eyes closed as he held the opera pose. He opened his eyes to stare at the entirely silent hall?

"What?" he asked, his words slurring slightly. He frowned. "Ah, piss off the lot of you!"

He tried stepping off the table and ended up landing flat on his arse. The entire hall rang with laughter and more drinks were quickly ordered.

***

"Ah piss," Hell Blazer muttered. Still, it hadn't been the most embarrassing he'd ever been on a night out – though it had ended with conspicuously less sex than some of his more memorable evenings, a fact he cursed his pony body for. He had, unfortunately, retained his attraction to humans and was yet to acclimatise to finding pony bodies attractive, and there were very few human women who'd be willing to have relations with a pony. If any. Sure, he'd heard of people trying that thing out, but it was generally considered… odd.

He could have tried pulling a pony, but there was such a dissonance between what he remembered of sex and what the facts of his new body were that he'd probably not know what the hell he was doing. Besides, his mind - pony swear words and the discomfort he felt when he was still called "John" aside - was still human. He just… didn't see mares that way.

"Hey Hell Blazer," Vinyl Scratch called from across the hall, a smug grin on the DJ's face. "Nice singing last night."

"Piss off," he said to her with the closest to an obscene gesture he could do with his pony body (namely sticking his tongue out – ah, how he missed fingers). He walked up to Errant Flight and nudged him with his hoof. "Oi! Errant!"

The Pegasus murmured some nonsense about it not being time to wake up yet, and rolled over. Hell Blazer sighed.

"Errant!" he yelled in his friend's ear.

Like a shot, Errant Flight sat up, eyes wide, looking around quickly.

"I'm up, I'm up!" he said quickly. His eyes focused on Hell Blazer. "What's the matter, John?"

"It's today," Hell Blazer replied. Errant looked confused for a moment, before his eyes widened in realisation.

"Oh horsefeathers," he said softly.

"Yeah," Hell Blazer said in sympathy. "Time to ship our 'new recruits' out."

***

Outside the cathedral sat the newcomer ponies, each of them uncertain about what was about to happen. All around them troopers were moving, radio communications going out to the other surviving garrisons in the city, confirming losses and survivors, making certain that nothing too important had been irreparably damaged.

About half an hour after the initial waves of troopers from Solamina's forces had been driven off, troops inbound from other parts of the city had started arriving, responding to cries for help. None of them had been able to get to the cathedral in time to seriously affect the outcome of the main engagement but most of them had been able to mop up several groups of retreating Equestrians and those stragglers – mostly forces from the Converted militia, the fanatics, flagellants and agitators – who had simply refused to retreat and had continued to try attacking central points, or just anything they could get to.

This morning, several dozen transport helicopters had come in, ferrying squads of reinforcements – only a scant handful though, the newcomers noticed, as though they were all that could be spared by the rest of the country. That was probably the case if half of what Elliot had told them about the attrition rates was true – and judging from the brutality of the battle they had faced the day before, Elliot had been selling the horrors of this war quite short.

Today was the day the group was split up, being sent to two different locations: Ditzy, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were being dispatched to Leeds Royal Armouries, now one of the primary weapons depots and Pegasi training facilities in the country. Errant Flight and the surviving Pegasi of Green and Blue Squadrons were escorting a transport helicopter ferrying Elliot to that base for his recovery, and the three of them would be flying with them.

Lyra, True Grit, Twilight, Rarity, Applejack and Pinkie meanwhile would be sent to the training facility at Pontefract Castle; Pontefract was a small town in the North of England that served as a small garrison and training facility for much of the pony infantry that came to the island.

Thus, the group was gathered together to essentially say their goodbyes for one last time before each of them was sent elsewhere. None of them had any idea about how they would be allowed to communicate with the rest of the group, or even if they'd be allowed to do so, and frankly the idea terrified them more than anything else: each of them served like an anchor to the others, a reminder of where they came from and in a way, why they were here.

"I guess this is the last time we'll all be together again for a while," Twilight began, looking around the group apprehensively. "I mean, we don't know what we'll be doing, or how long it will take…"

"If it's anything like Guard training, expect it to be pretty gruelling," True Grit said shortly. He out of all of them looked the least perturbed by the whole thing: his military background meant that this entire scenario was a fraction more bearable for him – though he had never expected to fight (the Royal Guard being largely a ceremonial guard for Princess Celestia after all), he was nonetheless trained for that eventuality. He had known it from the moment he volunteered for the Guard that killing – and dying – in the line of duty was a possibility.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure we'll all do just fine," Applejack said. "We'll do our best, whatever's asked of us, and at the end of it we'll just have to see whether it's good enough to help these folks out."

"Well, I hope we can be helpful," Fluttershy said softly. "I came here to help, and I'd hate to disappoint Mr Elliot. All the same… I'm not sure I could kill anypony."

"Me neither," Derpy said quietly. "I'm really worried about it."

"I wasn't sure about killing, either," Rainbow Dash pointed out to the both of them. "But I still had to do it." The haunted look in her eyes was, to the rest of the group, perhaps the most frightening thing yet: what had happened to the best flyer in Equestria? It felt almost like a spark was missing from her. She quickly smiled, as if sensing her friends' thoughts. "Don't worry, 'Shy, we'll do fine. After all, there's no flying challenge that Rainbow Dash can't take on!"

"That's a laudably enthusiastic way to see it, Dash," Rarity said, trying her best not to sound condescending, "but it doesn't change the fact that this entire thing is very far out of our experience."

"But not," True Grit countered grimly, "beyond our potential, ma'am."

Twilight nodded at Grit's sentiment. "Elliot didn't bring us here because we're great fighters. He brought us here because we can be, because we're capable of helping him defeat Solamina's armies. He's seen what most of us can do personally…" Twilight trailed off, the thought of the dead versions of most of her friends still haunting her somewhat. She shook the feeling off. "And that means he knows what good we could do on his side. We have to remember why we're here."

"Defeating Solamina," Rainbow Dash said, and Applejack stamped a foot in agreement.

"Helping people," Derpy said quietly, and Fluttershy nodded at that.

"Whatever we have to do," True Grit said softly.

Lyra nodded, a grim look on her face. "And," she added, "avenging all those who've been lost."

Everypony looked sombre at that thought; this place contained death on a scale not even one of them could have ever imagined. The small skirmishes they had encountered and the final battle at this cathedral had only solidified in their minds just how important – and dangerous – this entire endeavour was.

"Pinkie?" Twilight said, looking at the pink party pony, who had been conspicuously silent throughout the discussion. She looked somewhat morose. "What do you think?"

"I just wish," Pinkie replied softly, looking at each of them, "that we had time to have a goodbye party."

Everypony smiled slightly at that.

"I guess we'll just have to have a meetup party when we see each other again," Twilight suggested quietly. Pinkie grinned at that.

"Yeah," she said softly. "With all the friends we're going to go make."

"You can think about parties later," the grim voice of Errant Flight cut across their discussion, and they all turned to face the pony as he walked towards them. He had changed out of his red flight suit into a grey one, and was wearing a saddlebag that looked like it had something inside it. Two other ponies – Twilight vaguely remembered them being called Dream Flyer and Swift Strike – walked behind him, dressed in the same grey attire, sans flight suit. "Right now, it's time to move. Sparkle, Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Grit and Heartstrings, your transport helicopter is landing shortly nearby. Get going."

"Right," Twilight said. She turned to Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Ditzy. "Bye guys, take care of yourselves."

"You too, Twi," Rainbow Dash replied, waving as her friends headed off.

Errant Flight turned to the three Pegasi who remained, scowling slightly at them.

"As for you three," he said, sounding less than happy. He rummaged in his saddlebag before throwing each of them a grey flight shirt like his, emblazoned with a symbol: it was circular, and at the centre was what looked like a planet, presumably Earth, from which twelve Pegasi silhouettes flew, streaking different colours as they did so. Emblazoned on the image of the planet were two words.

"Welcome to the Equestrian Resistance Air Forces," Errant said shortly to the three Pegasi, sounding irritated. "You ladies just got assigned to Grey Squadron."

***

The helicopter that Twilight and her friends got onto was large enough to hold them and a couple more recruits, though neither the tan Earth Pony stallion nor the grey Unicorn mare they travelled with seemed particularly inclined to talk. The journey, for the most part, was silent, each member of the group lost in their own thoughts.

"What do you reckon this Pontefract place is gonna be like?" Applejack whispered softly to Twilight at one point. Her friend shrugged.

"I don't know anything about it," she said. "And I don't know where you'd go to do research about it either."

Applejack nodded, frowning in consternation.

"I don't like goin' someplace I don't know much about," she said. She smirked slightly at the irony of her statement. "I guess that's this whole place, but still; couldn't hurt to know a little bit about the place."

"Maybe they'll throw a welcome party?" Pinkie Pie said hopefully. However, a dour look from True Grit caused her to look downcast, her hair deflating slightly.

"More likely we'll be doing some physical exercise," the former Guard said. “Likely some acclimatisation too.”

"Wonderful," Rarity muttered under her breath.

"Who are you two, anyway?" Pinkie asked the two ponies riding with them, her hair inflating now that she had something else to be enthusiastic about. "I'm Pinkie Pie, but you probably already know that because the other me was a real meany pants, such a big meany pants that everypony knows about how much of a meany pants she really was…"

"For the love of whatever deity watches over us, do you never shut up?" the stallion asked, frowning at her. Pinkie promptly quieted down, her hair deflating once again.

"No need to be rude to them, Desert Wind," the Unicorn admonished, her voice surprisingly soft and melodious. She shifted in her seat slightly, showing off the single blue diamond that made up her cutie mark. "Ignore him, he's cranky. My name's Sapphire Steel, he's Desert Wind."

"Twilight Sparkle," Twilight introduced herself.

"We know," Desert Wind said sourly. His own cutie mark was that of a dust cloud. "We saw your swearing in and Albion's speech before the battle."

"I can't claim to understand how you can be here," Sapphire Steel added, "but I'm not complaining. Commander Twilight Sparkle is many things, but she is foremost a genius."

"A sick, twisted genius," Desert Wind added.

"Not gonna dispute that," Sapphire Steel said with a soft smile.

"We don't really know many specifics about what our counterparts have done," Rarity said with a soft smile.

"Not a lot of ponies do," Desert Wind said. "But Steel has personal experience of that whorse."

Twilight winced at the insult. Sapphire Steel gave an apologetic smile.

"You've met her?" True Grit asked her.

"More like she was worked like a dog in her factories," Desert Wind snarled slightly.

"I was in the research lab in Ponyville," Sapphire clarified with a tired smile. "Not a fun position, and it got even worse when Sparkle's friends started dying and she got… frustrated."

"What were you researching?" Twilight asked, ignoring the reference to dying friends.

"Weapons mostly," Sapphire said. "Sparkle was always looking for the latest in offensive spells and other such things. I was actually doing quite well in terms of my research…"

Sapphire trailed off, a slightly haunted look in her eyes.

"She means Sparkle was gonna recruit her for the Archmagi," Desert Wind supplied with a scowl.

"The what?" Rarity asked, frowning at the unfamiliar term.

"The Archmagi are Sparkle's personal battle unit," Sapphire explained, a faraway look in her eyes. "They're among the best magicians in Equestria. Sparkle assembled them from all over the country, Unicorns with rare abilities. Nopony and no soldier has ever survived facing them…"

"Though I'd imagine they'd have a hard time taking on the Avatar," Desert Wind cut in with a grim smile. "Especially after seeing the display at St Paul's. Nothing they have could stand up to that."

Twilight shared a look with her friends, all of whom looked worried – especially since last time they had seen Elliot, he had hardly looked in fit condition to be taking anyone on.

"So," Lyra asked after a moment. "What took you from being considered for one of Equestria's top units to being here?"

Sapphire looked sad for a moment, as though lost in a sad thought.

"My brother," she said finally. "His name was Polished Steel. Believe it or not, he was a metalworker rather than a soldier, but he was trained in making candelabras, chandoliers… elegant things like that."

"What happened to him?" Twilight asked softly.

"He was conscripted," Sapphire said bitterly. "After that he was different… not by much, you understand, but he was…"

She trailed off, as if unwilling to speak about it anymore.

"He was a bloody brainwashed recruit," Desert Wind said after a moment. "Most of Solamina's soldiers are sworn in under the Oath, and ever since the Renewal of the Oaths, that's held a strong binding spell to it. Ensures loyalty, so they say, especially since the so-called Night Guard Uprising."

"It made him entirely loyal to Solamina and her cause," Sapphire said, sounding like she was choking back tears. "He'd never been one for violence, but after the Oath he was almost eager to… to 'go show those apes what happens when they mess with the Empress'. The last I heard of him was when he… when he went to war…"

She sobbed slightly, and Desert Wind patted her on the back with his forehoof in an attempt to comfort her.

"I'm sorry to ask," Twilight said softly. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's alright," Sapphire said softly, still sobbing slightly. "A few weeks later, he was killed in action. Some charge or another." She sobbed again. "He wasn't even twenty…"

She began crying again.

"After that, she fled from Sparkle's factory and tried to leave Equestria," Desert Wind continued as the Unicorn wept quietly. "I met her on Trixie Lulamoon's Caravan."

"Trixie Lulamoon?" Twilight said, frowning at the familiar name. "You mean the showpony?"

"She isn't a showpony anymore," Desert smirked. "She's only using that as a cover. Her real gig these days is pony smuggling."

"Pony… smuggling?" Rarity said, sounding like she found the very idea distasteful.

"What's that all about?" Applejack asked, looking genuinely interested.

"Well," Desert Wind said, "basically she rides around in a large caravan. Lots of hidden compartments, that sort of thing; plenty of space for her various magic tricks… and for any ponies who happen to want to discreetly leave Equestrian soil. Then she just gets permission to travel with the caravan to the colonies in New Prance, Germarey… we got on a Resistance boat at New Normanedy after she dropped us off there."

"I can't believe that works," Twilight said softly.

"Well, it's a close run thing," Desert Wind said. "But from what I heard she learned a few things before the war started proper about smuggling ponies, and somepony in the Resistance convinced her that it was for a good cause."

"Which I am eternally grateful for," Sapphire Steel added, her weeping having subsided, to be replaced by a look of grim determination. "Now I'm here, I'm going to do whatever it takes to help bring down Solamina's blasted Empire, even if it kills me."

"Me too," Desert said.

"That's why we're here as well," True Grit said. "Elliot – Albion – came to our Equestria by mistake and told us what was happening."

"Only after having a fight with the two Princesses mind you," Rarity pointed out with a wry grin.

Desert Wind chuckled. "I would have liked to see that."

"Who knows?" Twilight said softly, a weary smile lighting up on her face. "Maybe you'll get to see Albion take on Solamina instead."

"Oh, I do hope so," Desert Wind said fiercely. "But not before I get my go at the other Sparkle. I've a score to settle with that bitch."

He said nothing more, and the conversation now turned to different subjects, mainly what the newcomers' Equestria was like. While this was informative and maybe even a little heartwarming for the two ponies whose world was now so far removed from that ideal of a peaceful and harmonious Equestria… all it served to do for the newcomers was remind them of everything they had left behind to come here, and make each of them wonder again whether coming here had truly been the right choice.

***

Upon landing at Pontefract, on a rather large grassy field, the first thing the ponies noticed was the sheer bustle. Pontefract Base was set inside what was left of an old sandstone fortress; a large keep was still visible, along with several walls and what was left of rooms. Added to the battered old architecture of the castle were several small concrete structures and several metal towers manned by human soldiers on machine guns.

A squad of ponies was marching on a sand track that ringed the landing field as the helicopter landed, singing a song as they marched.

"Barracks,
On top of Wakefield Road,
Barracks,
On top of Wakefield Road,
Barracks,
On top of barracks,
On top of barracks on Wakefield Road…"

"This seems nice," Pinkie said with a smile as the group got off of the helicopter.

"So far," Applejack muttered.

Before they could say anything else, they were ushered by a pony in a Resistance uniform towards a dirt track. The group followed another such pony down a stairwell until they reached a small bit of grass, where a few more ponies stood in loose formation. Twilight and the others were directed to join the formation, until it formed three rows of ten ponies. Twilight and her friends were unfortunate enough to be in the first row.

A moment later, a dark brown Earth Pony marched out, until he was standing in front of the thirty ponies. He was grizzled, scars across his face and coat. He wore a khaki camoflauge shirt, and his cutie mark was a grey horseshoe.

"Attention!" he called. At varying speeds, every pony in the group – including Twilight and the others – snapped to attention, though True Grit and Desert Wind were the fastest and most prompt. Once everypony was standing at something resembling attention, the grey pony began speaking.

"Alright chickpeas," he said loudly, his voice deep and rough. "I'm Sergeant Iron Gait. That's G-A-I-T, assuming any of you ugly lot can even bucking write." His eyes swept across the group of ponies. "The name means I can walk for miles. That is also the meaning of my cutie mark. That's all the explanation you're getting, so none of you little buckers better ask me where or how I got my cutie mark. I do not talk about it."

There was a brief pause in his diatribe as he let his words sink in.

"Anyway," he continued, "over the next six weeks, it is my duty to try my very hardest to turn this sorry pile of horseapples I see before me into a fighting force for the Equestrian Resistance Forces, and while judging from your appearances this might seem impossible, believe me when I say I will find a way to do it, so help me the Pony God. Each and every one of you will be a lean, mean, pony killing machine – in more ways than one – by the time I am through with you."

He began pacing up and down the line, looking each recruit in the eye. Apart from True Grit and Desert Wind, none of the recruits could look him in the eye.

"Some of you plotwipes with eyes might have noticed four very special ponies in this group," Iron Gait continued as he paced, his eyes narrowing when he saw Twilight and the other Element bearers present. "I've been assured by command that despite the fact that these ponies not only appear to be the spitting image of Twilight Sparkle and several other Elements of Order, but also share their names, they're actually completely different ponies, as vouched for by the Avatar of Albion himself." He spat on the ground, before chewing thoughtfully. "Now, personally I dunno what the hell's going on or why we have clones in our midst, but if command says they're good, they're good. That means no hazing beyond what I say there is to be, understand?"

There was a general murmur of assent and Iron Gait growled.

"I see we haven't yet taught you little squits the basics of military discipline," he snarled. "So let me spell it out. When I ask you a question, the first and last words out of your stinking cake-holes should be 'sir'! Do you understand me?!"

"Sir, yes sir!" the group said.

"Louder!" Iron Gait roared.

"Sir, yes sir!" everypony yelled.

"Better, chickpeas…" Iron Gait said, before narrowing his eyes. Two ponies had their forehooves up – Pinkie Pie and a young blue Earth Pony stallion in the back row. "You, bluey, what's your problem?"

"Sir!" the young stallion said, his voice wavering slightly. "Can you not refer to the group as chickpeas, please? Um, sir?"

Iron Gait scowled. "Why not, chickpea?"

"Because my name is Chick Pea, sir!" the blue stallion said, looking slightly abashed.

Iron Gait laughed, a deep and slightly unpleasant sound. "Well then, I guess we'll have to give you a new name, won't we?" he said nastily. "From here on, you're Private Dipstick until I say otherwise? Is that clear?"

"But sir…"

"Is that clear?!" Iron Gait bellowed.

"Sir, yes sir!" the newly-monikered Private Dipstick said.

"Good!" Iron Gait yelled. He turned his attention to Pinkie Pie. "Now, Private Pinkie Pie. What's your problem?"

"Sir, I was just wondering when we'd be having the cake you mentioned," Pinkie said cheerfully. "Um, sir."

Iron Gait's left eye twitched slightly as he struggled to comprehend what he had just heard. "Come again, Private?"

"Well," Pinkie began, taking a deep breath breath, "you mentioned cake holes sir, and I was just wondering, if we have cake holes surely we must have cake somewhere, which means that you've got cake for us – probably as a welcome to the army party, 'cos that's what I'd do – and I was just wondering when we'd get to the cake, sir."

Iron Gait blinked. Then he smiled, an altogether unsettling thing.

"Why, there's cake at the forward base in Hull, Private Pie," he said, his tone oddly amused. "Enough cake for the entire unit."

"Yay!" Pinkie exclaimed, bouncing upwards. Then she stopped, and coughed slightly. "um, I mean, yay sir. So, um," she said, looking from left to right and somehow failing to notice the looks of extreme worry on everypony else's faces, "when do we go get it?"

"Why Private," Iron Gait said with a nasty grin, "we go get the cake after we walk to Hull. It's only forty miles – more than enough to work up a mighty big appetite."

"Yay!" Pinkie cheered, not noticing the groans of every other pony in the group.

"Now that's enthusiasm!" Iron Gait said, only partially sarcastically. "More of you ponies could do with a bit of that! Now – fall out and start marching! By the left, quick bucking march!"

Twilight sighed as the group followed Iron Gait's instructions and started marching from the field, out of the gate of the castle and onto the road, passing soldiers and a scant handful of civilians as they went.

This was going to be a long six weeks.

Author's Notes:

Once more, thank you to everyone who's commented on this story and to everyone who's favourited. I really do appreciate all of it. I know I don't personally address much of my notes to specific people, but that's mainly due to lack of time. Rest assured, I am very grateful for all the feedback so far. :-)

Couple of points: Pontefract is my old hometown, and I felt a certain desire to avoid the cliche big places to set a story in Britain (especially since I'm bloody British myself: I klnow for a fact that Britain isn't London, and I want the story to reflect that). "Barracks on top of Wakefield Road", to the tune of Colonel Bogey, is something that is apparently pretty well known around there (or was), and I thought a little local humour might add a flavour of realism. Let's face it, when you're writing a story about an apocalyptic war with pastel ponies, you need all the realism you can muster.

In addition, this story now has a tvtropes page. It'd really make my day if anyone who's interested would go read the list there and maybe even add to it. :-) In the meantime folks, any and all feedback here is welcome and appreciated. Til next chapter.

EDIT: This Chapter was edited 28th July 2015.