Teardrops and Snowflakes

Chapter 7

Twilight awoke slowly, her mind sluggish and foggy. She was warm, comfortable, and for the first time in days, she felt… safe. Stretching her stiff limbs, she sat up and yawned. The first thing she noticed was that Trixie was no longer lying next to her. The second thing she noticed was that she really needed to find a bathroom.

She looked around the trailer with bleary eyes and spotted her love sitting at the desk, staring at her hat. Clearing her throat, she spoke, her voice raspy and dry. “Morning, Trixie.” Twilight coughed. Her throat felt like a desert. How long had she been asleep?

Trixie jumped a little; she had been very focused on trying to answer a question she had thought of. A look of worry crossed her face when she heard the cough. “Morning Twilight. Are you okay?”

Twilight shook her head, still coughing. “Water?” She asked weakly.

Trixie grabbed a pitcher of water from the fridge with her magic and poured a glass for Twilight, offering it to her gingerly.“Don’t drink it too fast, you’ve been asleep for a while and you’re probably dehydrated.”

Twilight nodded and took a sip. Then another, then another. After two full glasses, she cleared her throat and tried to speak again. Her voice was mostly normal, if a little scratchy. “Thanks Trixie. How long was I asleep this time?” Sarcasm crept into her voice. “Another four days?”

Trixie smiled at Twilight’s tone. “No, this time you were only out for about fourteen hours.”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “Fourteen hours!? But… it was still morning when I…” She glanced at one of the windows lining the walls of the trailer. Only the pitch black of the night showed through. She turned her gaze back to Trixie, her eyes reproachful. “Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?”

Trixie simply rolled her eyes. “Twilight, in case you’ve forgotten, you’re still recovering from some of the worst injuries I’ve ever seen. That means that you need plenty of rest. Besides, what would you have done if I had woken you up? Sat there for hours on end, twiddling your hooves?”

Twilight was about to argue more, when a certain pressure reminded her of what she really needed. She blushed, embarrassed that she had to ask her next question. “Um… do you… do you have a bathroom?”

Trixie’s eyes lit up in amusement as she tried, unsuccessfully, to stifle her laughter. “Yeah it… it’s in my second… my second trailer.” She finally broke down and laughed. After a moment she calmed down and spoke again. “I’m sorry Twilight. I wasn’t laughing at you, it’s just… well… you get embarrassed really easily. Anyway, yeah, my bathroom is in the trailer just behind this one. You can’t miss it.”

Trixie watched as Twilight’s blush grew redder and redder. She gave Twilight a confused look. “Well? Aren’t you going to…” The problem finally hit her, and her face became almost as red as Twilight’s. “O… oh… You still can’t walk… can you?”

Twilight shook her head, avoiding eye contact. She was too embarrassed to speak. Trixie rubbed the back of her neck with a hoof, feeling like a foal for laughing. “Sorry Twilight… I shouldn’t have laughed. I’m going to pick you up with magic, okay?”

Twilight nodded again and Trixie’s horn began to glow with its signature azure hue, lifting Twilight’s body effortlessly. Twilight inhaled sharply. She had never been picked up by another unicorn’s magic. The effect was… amazing. It was as if Trixie was lying next to her again, but ten times stronger. It felt like Trixie was touching her soul.

Twilight’s heart started racing and her mind became fuddled. She couldn’t think straight. She did notice that she was outside and that there was snow on the ground, but she couldn’t feel the cold. Then she was inside another trailer, and the feeling ended. She gasped, trying to catch her breath. Everything was blurry, and Trixie sounded distant. She saw Trixie’s lips move but could only hear mumbles. “Wh… what?” Twilight asked dazedly.

This time she heard Trixie clearly. “I asked if you were alright! What’s wrong?” Trixie’s face was full of concern.

Twilight shook her head gently to clear it. “I’m fine…” She looked around and saw they were in a small bathroom. “Um… I think I can handle it from here.”

Trixie reddened again. “Ah… yes, of course. Just um, call when you’re finished.” She left the bathroom quickly.

Twilight closed her eyes and took deep breaths, trying to calm down. What was that? It had been so… intense. Why hadn’t she felt it the first time she was picked up by Trixie?

Oh yeah. She had been too busy staring into her eyes.

Twilight shook her head again; She could analyze what had happened later. She took care of her business and called out to Trixie, who came quickly and carried her back. Being prepared this time, Twilight didn’t become overwhelmed by the feeling; Though it still made her blush and lose focus of the world.

Carefully depositing Twilight on the bed, Trixie stood there for a moment as the silence between them stretched. “Well… that was awkward.” Trixie joked, trying to break the silence.

Twilight nodded meekly. “Yeah… So… uh… when did you get another trailer?”

Relief flooded Trixie. A new topic. “Well, after I bought this one and started doing shows again, the bits kinda started rolling in and I decided that I needed a little more room on the road. I actually have a third trailer, but that one is my dedicated stage.”

Twilight beamed at her. “That’s great Trixie! I’ll have to see your show sometime. It sounds like it’s amazing.”

Trixie smiled back at her. “Well, I actually have one scheduled in Manehatten soon. You can come to that one.”

Twilight accepted almost immediately. “I’d love to!” Then she realized what Trixie had said. “Wait… how soon? And how far from Manehatten are we?”

Trixie climbed onto the bed with Twilight. “We’re less than half a day’s travel away from Manehatten and the show is in a week. I’m sorry, but I had scheduled this before I found you.”

Twilight shook her head. “It’s not a problem, I’m just surprised that we’re that close. You must have traveled all four days I was unconscious.”

“Well, my original plan was to get you to a hospital where you could be properly taken care of, but the snow eventually got too thick.” Trixie explained. “I’m hoping that it will be clear enough in a week to move on, or there won’t be a show.”

Twilight smiled at Trixie, trying to alleviate her fears. “Well, in a week I should have my magic back, so even if the road isn’t clear, we can make it clear!”

“If I do that, then I won’t have enough magic for my show, and I’m not going to let you melt miles and miles of snow barely a week after your recovery.” Trixie’s mouth was set in a stubborn line. She was taking this “caretaker” thing very seriously.

Twilight almost argued again, but decided against it. If that happened, it’s not like Trixie could stop her from helping. Instead, she cast her gaze around the room, looking for another topic to talk about. The hat and cape were the first things that leapt out at her.

Trixie noticed her looking and sighed. “I guess you still want to hear the story behind those, don’t you?” She waited for Twilight to nod before continuing. “Alright, but you have to agree to two things before I tell you. First, what I tell you doesn’t leave this trailer. I don’t talk about my past a lot, and I don’t want people to know it. You’ll see why when I tell you. Secondly, I want you to answer a question that’s been bugging me.”

Twilight tilted her head to the side, confused. “Um… okay. You can trust me to not tell a soul Trixie. I wouldn’t betray you like that. What did you want to ask?”

Trixie’s face turned grave and contemplative. “When I woke up, I started thinking about everything you told me. About how you got here, why you came here, and where you’re going. One thing didn’t add up, and I’m surprised that I didn’t catch it before. I guess I was caught up in actually having somepony to talk to. Anyway, my question is: why were you carrying my hat and cape, newly repaired I might add, on a journey to look for a stallion you like?”

Time stopped for Twilight. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t think. This was her greatest fear: a question that she couldn’t answer without revealing herself. She had to think of a way to answer it. “I was… uh… wearing them?” The words were out of Twilight’s mouth before she realized what was happening. “Yeah! I was wearing them since they were so comfortable and warm.” Twilight offered Trixie a shaky smile, willing her to believe her story.

Trixie wasn’t going to be persuaded that easily, however. “You weren’t wearing them when I found you, and they’re in almost perfect shape. Barely a speck of dirt on them.”

Again, Twilight answered without thinking, focusing instead on not having a suspicious look on her face. “Uh… yeah. I was really, really careful when I was wearing it because it cost me so many bits to fix. And I didn’t sleep in them because I didn’t want them to get wrinkled. When the wolves came they were in my bag and I just grabbed it and ran.” At least it wasn’t a complete lie.

Trixie thought about his for a moment, studying Twilight with narrowed eyes. Finally, she sighed. “I’m sorry Twilight. I shouldn’t be interrogating you about something as insignificant as this. I’ve spent most of my life not trusting anypony so my manners are a little… rusty.”

Physically Twilight just smiled and waved a hoof in the air. Mentally she was ecstatic. “It’s no problem Trixie. I would have told you that earlier if I thought it would worry you so much.”

Trixie shook her head and was silent. As the silence stretched on, Twilight thought Trixie was worrying about it again. Then she spoke. “Ever since I can remember, I was an orphan. My first memory is throwing a block from something I was building at another foal because I liked him. I never knew my mom and dad.”

Twilight put a hoof on Trixie’s shoulder. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to Trixie.”

Again, Trixie shook her head. “No. I want you to know. I need you to know.”

Twilight nodded silently and removed her hoof.

Inhaling deeply, Trixie continued. “It was hard for me to fit in; I was the only unicorn there. I also didn’t get my cutie mark while I was there. Everyone else got theirs when they were eight or nine. They taunted me every day. Some days I handled better than others. I learned that when I cried, the taunting got worse.”

Twilight interrupted, her voice sympathetic. “Didn’t the adults do anything about it!?”

Trixie gave her an even look. “They did when they saw it, but they were old and they couldn’t be everywhere at once. One of the worst days I can remember was when I went back to my dorm one night. All of the adults were already asleep, and I thought the kids were too or I never would have gone back there. Four of them held me down and the rest spit on me or called me names. They didn’t stop until I had no tears left to cry. I think that was the day that finally broke my spirit. I never cried again, and eventually they left me alone. What fun was it if I just gave them a dead look?”

Twilight hesitate for a moment, then crawled across the bed and sat next to Trixie, putting a comforting hoof around her shoulders. She expected Trixie to pull away, but instead she leaned in, taking comfort from Twilight’s embrace.

“One of the caretakers noticed how I was acting and called me into her office. I remember going in there, feeling nothing. Not even the adults could do anything to me anymore. I didn’t care. A box was sitting on the table with my name on it, and she told me to open it. Inside were the hat and the cloak. She told me it had been with me when I was dropped off at their door, along with a note that said to give it to me when they thought I needed it.” Trixie’s voice turned bitter. “I guess it never occurred to them that I might need them more than some hat and cloak! That maybe I needed love more than I did some useless clothing!!” Tears began to course down her face. Trixie didn’t try to wipe them away.

Twilight said nothing. She just held Trixie tighter.

Breathing deeply and composing herself as best she could, Trixie continued. “At the time I loved them, the hat and the cloak. I wore them everywhere. Of course, I was the outcast. I wasn’t allowed to have nice things. They came for me one day when I was coming back from the bathroom. Three of them blocked the hallway in either direction and the leader, a brown colt named Acorn, demanded that I give them to him. I told him that he would have to take them off of my dead body.”

Twilight felt Trixie shudder in her arms. “I’ll never forget the look on his face Twilight. He gave me this sadistic smile and whispered: ‘That’s the idea.’ Then he rushed me. He slammed me against the wall and put his hoof against my throat. I couldn’t breathe. He was two years older than me, bigger by almost a full head; I could never hope to match his strength. I felt myself going unconscious, and I knew that if I didn’t do something, Acorn would kill me. The next thing I remember is falling to the ground, gasping for air. Somepony screamed and I looked up. Acorn was across the hallway, his head twisted at a weird angle. I killed him Twilight. I… I…” Trixie broke down into sobs.

Twilight held Trixie close, gently stroking her mane and whispering to her. “Shhh, it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t have a choice. Shhh.”

After a few minutes, Trixie sniffed and pulled away from Twilight, as if she was ashamed of herself for seeking comfort. She continued, almost in a whisper. “Everypony left me alone after that. I would lay awake at night, waiting for the police to come and get me, but they never did. I woke up with nightmares for months after it happened. Eventually I left. Everypony whispered behind my back constantly. Now they called me names in secret, but I still heard them. Names like ‘murderer’ and ‘insane.’ I couldn’t take it anymore. The only possessions I took were the hat and the cape.”

Twilight tried to comfort Trixie again, but again she pulled away.

She continued in a monotone voice. “I got my cutie mark a year later. I was performing on some street corner in some city out in the country because I was starving. It was nothing big, just basic levitation and other spells that I had taught myself. Nopony was paying me any attention, so I started shouting out, like I do at my acts now. Ponies started paying attention, and the more ponies that paid attention, the more bits I got.” Trixie rubbed her cutie mark absentmindedly. “I didn’t even notice it until somepony commented on it at a show the next day. I was so happy.”

Trixie turned and looked at Twilight through bloodshot eyes. “The hat and the cloak were the only things I had to remind me of my parents. Even if they didn’t love me, I still treasure them. I couldn’t believe that I lost them. But then you brought them back.” She hugged Twilight again. “Thank you... and thank you for listening to my story. It… it felt good to get that off my chest.”

Twilight hugged Trixie back, her heart in her throat. “I… I’m so sorry for what happened to you Trixie."

Trixie pulled back, a small smile dancing across her lips. “I’m not. If all of that hadn’t happened I never would have become a performer. I never would have traveled around Equestria, or seen the Princesses or… or met you.” Trixie sniffled, wiping her eyes with her hooves. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. How does tomato soup with some daisy sandwiches sound?”

Twilight smiled at Trixie. She was amazed at the amount of strength it must have taken Trixie to overcome this. She was even more amazed at the fact that Trixie told her. She glanced at the hat and cape that Trixie loved so dearly, feeling the anger boil up inside of her. What kind of parents abandon their only child? Those aren’t parents… they’re monsters. She shook her head. She shouldn’t dwell on it.

“That sounds delicious Trixie.”

Trixie simply smiled back and nodded.