I think that Ares had the best reaction of any of us as Luna left the room to go…wherever she was going to go.

Hitting his head against the table with a groan, he said, “Oh sweet Jesus, I’m way too hungover to deal with this!”

He turned his head to look up at me, hope in his eyes. “Wait, this isn’t some weird booze-dream, right?" He looked at his hand. "This might actually just be a dream…”

I, on the other hoof, was still trying to pry my mouth from the floor out of sheer shock. Whatthehayjusthappened?! I thought, while Aunty Celestia growled to herself.

“I can’t believe that Luna would do something like this now,” she murmured, while Ares pinched himself to see if he was dreaming.

“OW! Alright, not a dream,” He picked his head up from the table with a disappointed sigh. “Candy what in the—Cadence?”

AuntyLunajustkissedme,ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!

Aunty Celestia stopped her angry muttering to look over at me in concern. “Cadence, Sweetie?” She took a step toward me, and I had to take a step back. I honestly didn’t know if Aunty Celestia was going to try the same with me. One of my Aunts kissed me, kissed me, so anything was possible.

Aunty stopped when she saw my look of panic, giving me a hurt look, before it was quickly replaced with one of understanding, as she took another step toward me. “Cadence, it’s alright, Honey,” she told me. “Just take a deep breath; I’ll just com—”

“N-no,” I muttered, squeaking when my rump hit the wall. “S-stay back. I don’t want to make out w-with you t-too!” I started hyperventilating while my heart beat wildly in my chest, my eyes wildly searching for a way to escape.

I tensed when I felt a hand touch my neck, fingers digging into my fur, trying to ease my tension, as Ares leaned down and looked me in the eye.

“Candy,” he said. “I know that you’re flipping your shit right now—you’re hungover, Luna kissed you, and I’m sure that you just want to go to bed—but you need to calm down, alright.”

His other hand started to stroke my neck, an embarrassed feeling fighting a comforting one when the small part of my mind—that wasn’t losing it—realized that my human was doing this right in front of my Aunt.

“Just breathe, big, deep ones. No one else is gonna make-out with you, alright? The Princess said that she’s going to do something about this, so just don’t go and have a stroke or anything on me, okay?”

I took a deep, shaky, breath, closing my eyes as I pressed myself against Ares while I let out a little whimper. “Ares,” I whispered. “I think we should’ve just told them at dinner, then we would’ve been sober for all of this.”

I saw my Aunt lean in to nuzzle my cheek out of the corner of my eye, the older alicorn eyeing me carefully as I gave her a shaky smile. “I’m alright, Aunty,” I told her, almost not lying. “I was just a little overwhelmed for a second.”

My Aunt nodded, eyeing where Luna left from with a scowl. “Don’t worry, Cadence, just give me a minute and I’ll sort this all out,” She slowly turned away from us and trotted toward the exit. “My sister and I are going to have a little chat, don’t you worry.”

Flash, Ares, and I watched her go before my guard looked at us. “Um, guys?” he said hesitantly. “Would you be upset if I said that made my day?”

While I usually don’t like it when Ares throws things at Flash, now, when he whipped his shoe at him, I couldn’t help but feel that he deserved it when he got clocked in the face.

@#~$$~#@

“I can’t believe her,” Celestia grumbled, glowering as she stalked the halls, ignoring guards, maids, and nobles as she looked around for her little sister. “I knew she liked Ares, but she didn’t—”

She stopped, and narrowed her eyes as she turned a corner to see her sister, who was calmly making her way down the hall with a little skip in her step.

Taking a deep, calming breath, she called out, “Luna!”

The Princess of the Night stopped and looked over her shoulder. “Oh, hello, Sister, didst thou need something?”

Celestia nodded, quickening her pace. “Yes, Luna, you and I need to talk about what just happened.”

Luna shrugged dismissively. “You will not change Our mind, Sister. We will go through with this whether thou like it or not.”

“Luna, did you know what Cadence was doing in there after you left?” the Solar Princess asked, trying to reason with her sister. “She was this close from having a panic-attack because of what you did!”

Luna blinked in concern. “Is that so?”

Celestia walked in front of her, forcing her to stop. “Luna, you have to stop what you’re doing,” she said. “I’m saying this as your sister, please just listen to me.”

She pointed down the hallway. “Those two spend months dealing with their emotions, probably staying up at night and almost killing themselves over their feelings. You just throwing your hat in the lot is going to make something that’s already going to be difficult a thousand times harder.”

For a brief, brief second, Celestia thought that she had talked her sister out of this crazy nonsense, the younger alicorn sitting in the middle of the hallway with a lost expression.

“Come on, Luna,” she patted her sister on the shoulder. “Why don’t we go back so you—”

“No.”

Celestia blinked as she looked down at Luna, who was looking at her in determination. “No, Sister, I will not do that,” She took a step toward the older alicorn, forcing her to take a little step back.

“As I said before, I am not just doing this for a quick rut,” She looked down. “Your subjects still fear me, still whisper Nightmare Moon when they think that I cannot hear them.”

“Luna…” Celestia began, getting cut off angrily by an absolutely livid Luna.

“Just because We are thousands’ of years old, doesn’t mean that I do not wish the company of another. Not everypony can be as strong as you; I need somepony to help me.”

The Lunar Princess kept walking, tears in her eyes, as she looked up at her older sister. “I need somepony to ask me how my day was, somepony to share things with, somepony to tell me that they love me.”

“Luna, plea—”

“I want somepony to love. Nay, I will have somepony to love that is not a family member.”

Celestia flinched as her little sister looked up at her.

Luna could’ve easily brought up what happened when the Nightmare took her, she, and Celestia, knew that there were a thousand ways for the younger sister to cut the older one to the bone. She could have just told her to buck off, told her that it was none of her business. But Celestia had ways to defend, or at least to talk through, that. Even if they hurt, she could deal with them

But with just a simple look of achy, heart-felt, desperation, Luna defeated her older sister.

“If you loved me, Tia, you wouldn’t be trying to stop me from being happy.”

With those words, the Princess of the Sun automatically stepped to the side to let Luna pass. “I can’t support you on this, Sister,” she said desperately before sighing. “But… I will not stop you. If you wish to find some kind of happiness in this, you may do so.”

Luna smiled up at her, giving her a happy little nuzzle before she passed her and continued down the hall.

“Don’t be surprised if you fail, Luna,” Celestia called after her little sister, still hoping that she could still persuade her.

The younger alicorn just grinned. “And when I do not, Sister of mine, I will not be smug about it,” She giggled quietly. “And, if you want, We can see if we can somehow get you a, as they say, a ‘roll in the hay’ with Ares.”

Her giggle became a chuckle when she saw the look on Celestia’s face. “After all, what are sisters for?”

@#$~~%%~~$#@

You know, if your Aunt ever decides to make out with you—and you’re not drunk enough not to remember it the next day—be sure you have a coltfriend that has hands, because you’ll need those suckers to keep your flank calm, cool, and collected.

“So,” Flash said as I leaned into Ares, letting the man pet me. “Princess, have you guy’s…”

Ares grimaced. “No, Flashy boy, we haven’t had a roll in the sack yet, if that’s what you’re asking.”

I blushed, throwing a glare up at my stallion, but it was ruined when he just smiled and kissed my nose.

Flash blinked slowly. “I wasn’t going to ask that.”

I nudged Ares as he snorted. “I wasn’t born yesterday, Flash. You know, I don’t ask you about your sex-life.”

“Yes you do!” my guard said, pointing a hoof at Ares. “You ask me every time you see me!”

Ares hummed, tapping his chin with a finger. “I can’t say that I ever remember doing that.”

Flash scrunched his face up while I giggled quietly. “You know what? Never mind…”

He turned away from us. “I’m going to go see if Twilight’s okay.”

I flinched at that, my ears pinned to my head as I looked at the stallion. “Flash, could you…”

My guard nodded with a little understanding smile. “I may not be the best talker, Princess, but I’ll try to explain it to Twilight the best I can.”

I nodded. “And could you tell her that I’d like to talk to her before we leave?”

“Of course, Princess.”

That just left me and Ares in the room, the human leaning me against his chest as I sighed. “Are you alright there, Candy?”

I nuzzled his chest and closed my eyes. “Yeah, I’m okay,” I said, letting him rock me back and forth. “Everything went a lot better than I thought it was going to go, but it’s still a little much.”

He brushed my mane out of my face. “Yeah, other than the weird Luna thing, it went just peachy.”

I smiled. “And I’m hungover,” I mused. “You know, neither of us have eaten yet.”

Ares kissed my nose. “I’ll go find someone to bother then; can’t let my Candy go hungry. If you don’t eat, then you lose weight, and then I can’t watch your ass jiggle around.”

I snorted, but said nothing, as he left the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts, which wasn’t necessarily a good thing.

With a little sniffle, I put my head on the table and closed my eyes, what happened between me and Twilight going over and over in my head.

How the hay am I going to explain this to her? I thought

Twilight wasn’t my Aunts, she wasn’t even Shining—who I was still worried about what he was going to say to me the next time he saw me.

For the longest time, I was practically the little unicorn’s sister, and you should have been there when she found out that I wanted her to be my bridesmare; the happiness in her eyes when she realized that her big sister in all but name was actually going to become her big sister.

But now that I’m pretty much leaving her alone again—not in the physical sense; she has a lot of new friends, but I was one of her firsts—how is she going to take it?

Or better yet, what might she do to Ares?

She would never hurt him, I thought, shaking my head. She’s a sweetheart; She still might hold a grudge, and maybe hate me, but she wouldn’t hurt either of us.

How was I going to explain it to her in a way that makes sense?

Hey Twilight, I fell out of love with your brother and fell in love with an alien that I’ve known for about a year for reasons?

Yeah, that wasn’t going to work…

I was pondering how I was going to tackle this so aggressively that I didn’t notice that a wing had wrapped itself around my body while I was being nuzzled.

“Cadence, Honey,” Aunty Celestia said. “Are you alright?You haven’t fallen asleep, have you?”

I looked up at her with a little chuckle. “Nono, I’m fine, Aunty, I’m just thinking about,” I sighed. “Everything.”

She nodded. “I can understand that,” she said gently. “But a word of advice, give Twilight a day or two to cool off. She’s rather,” her mouth silently moved, trying to find the right word. “Rash when she’s upset, so just let her calm down and then you two will be able to talk about what you have to talk about.”

“Alright, Aunty,” I looked at her hopefully. “Did you talk to Luna?”

She gave me this expressionless look. “Yes I did.”

“And what did she say?”

She sighed. “It seems that my sister will not veer from her path, Cadence.”

I groaned. “Of course she’s not. Why, why did she have to do this now?!”

My Aunt’s wing tightened around me. “Ever since my sister’s return, my little ponies have been… a little more cautious of her than she likes.”

I nodded. There were still more than a few ponies that were worried—even scared—about being around Luna, even with Celestia there with her.

Aunty Celestia’s look turned sad as she looked away from me. “She tries her hardest to make herself seem like a good pony, like a pony that her subjects could love, but I think she wants it too fast. She just needs to let them get used to her for a while longer and I’m sure that every stallion in the country will be asking her hoof for marriage.”

“So that lets her do this to me and Ares?” I asked, honestly getting a little upset.

She shook her head. “No, Cadence honey, but you can at least see this her way. Ares is one of the few people—excluding a few nobles and her guards—that has been kind to her, treated her like a real friend and not just a princess.”

“He’s done the same to you and you’re not jumping all over him,” I muttered, trying not to smile when my Aunt gawked.

“I-I would never—”

I nuzzled her. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding, Aunty, I know you’d never do something like that.”

It took a bit longer for her to collect herself than I’m sure she liked—I spent every second of that trying not to laugh, if you want to know—before she said, “As I was saying,” she said, clearing her throat. “Luna sees all of this, and, if it’s natural or not, she became drawn to him.”

“But then I came in.”

“But then you came in,” she agreed. “And I think she thinks that she’ll lose Ares to you and she’ll never see him again if he loves just you, so she’s trying this.”

“Okay,” I said slowly, kinda understanding what she was talking about. “So what do we do then?”

Aunty smiled. “Go to the Crystal Empire, get readjusted with everything there, and let me try to deal with Luna. I’ll try to set something up with a stallion or two, see if I can get somepony else to catch her eye.”

“And if that doesn’t work?”

“Then, I say, that you just go on a date with her,” she raised a hoof to stop me from talking. “Let her take the two of you out, be gentle with her when you shoot her down, show her that she won’t lose Ares’s friendship just because he’s going away. That is all I ask that you do.”

I blinked. “That... actually makes a lot of sense, Aunty Celestia.”

She was right! Luna could take the two of us out as many times as she wanted, that didn’t mean we had to say yes!

Grinning, I broke the wing hug and turned toward her. “Thanks, Aunty,” I told her. “I don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have your advice.”

She waved me away with a hoof, though that didn’t stop a little prideful smile from creeping on her face. “I'm happy to help," she said, sitting down beside me. "I only wish I could be more help."

I smiled when I heard my Ares whistling. “At least I’ll have Ares to help me through everything.”

I laughed when my Aunt rubbed her hooves together evilly. “I can’t wait to have a nice ‘civil’ conversation with that stallion on what will happen to him if he decides to do anything—or anypony—that you don’t want.”

You should have seen Ares’s look when the two of us fell on the floor, laughing like fillies. It didn’t help that he had a big stack of pancakes in both of his hands and a jug of syrup in his mouth.

“Hey, they were serving shit for lunch so I got—what’s wrong with you two?’

@~~<><>~~@

Luna closed her eyes and concentrated hard; long distance spells weren’t the easiest, even if you were an alicorn, so it was lucky that nopony was distracting her at the moment. Last time that happened… Well, let’s just say that none of the royal family liked to talk about it.

With a pop, a letter disappeared from her table, Luna smiling at her little achievement as somepony else in the room snorted.

“Jeeze, Mistress,” Luna heard the indistinguishable sound of something being bitten into. “I always thought that magic was pretty kooky, but you really sent that thing all the way to Trottingham?”

The Lunar Princess sighed, slumping into her seat, a little more tired than she liked to admit. With another spell, she levitated a glass toward her person, along with a bottle of wine.

“Would you like some?” she asked her guest. “It is a very fine year.”

The pony shook her head. “No thank you, Ma’am,” There was another crunch. “I’m not a wine kind of pony. But if you have any more of these amazing mangos, then I wouldn’t say no to one.”

Luna giggled quietly. “They are good, are they not? We had them imported from Saddle Arabia yesterday, a whole crate of them in fact.”

Though she didn’t bother to look, she knew that the pony next to her was practically drooling.

“A whole crate huh?”

Luna nodded, turning toward the speaker. “Yes, my Subject, a whole crate of mangos—that We would be happy to give thee—if you decide to take up the assignment that We told thou about.”

The pony hummed, golden eyes shining in the darkness for a second, before she sat down in her chair. “Sure, I’d be happy to do it, Highness. It sure beats the heck out of staying here and doing nothing.”

“I have to ask though, why me? Isn’t there another pony watching that human,” She spat out the last bit, her face scrunching up in irritation. “Wouldn’t it be harder for his guard and I to work against each other—or however you said it,” she wiped a bit of juice off her chin while she hummed in thought.

“Couldn’t I just go incognito and make sure that nothing happens to him?”

Luna shook her head. “Nay, Echo, We will not betray his trusts by having ponies watching him in the shadows.”

“But you’re going to make sure that I go with him?”

Echo didn’t like the look that the princess was giving her. “Trust Us, everything will work out, my Guard,” she looked away from her. “You may leave,” she murmured, taking another sip of her wine.

“Make ready for your departure; you will be leaving within the week. We will make sure that none give you trouble.”

Echo the Thestral—or batpony to the common rabble—Sergeant of the Lunar Guard, grinned, revealing a set of long, slender fangs, before she saluted. “Of course, Ma’am,” She said brightly hopping out of her chair and making her way to the door. “I can’t wait to see what the Crystal Empire looks like.”

@~!!~@

It took a lot longer, and I probably looked a lot more sluggish, than I would have liked getting back to my room, but I got there eventually.

After everything that had happened today, and after my big meal of pancakes, I thought it was time for a little cat-nap. Hopefully that would help the throbbing in my head and give me enough time to think of what I was going to say to Twilight… Or Luna.

Maybe she would just leave us alone if I talked to her, I mused, leaping into the bed and using a spell to close the blinds.

She’s a pretty reasonable-ish pony. I’m sure that the two of us can just have a little talk, mare-to-mare, and sort this all out. Then Aunty Celestia wouldn’t even have to go through with her plan…

I wiggled under the covers and wrapped my hooves around a pillow.

Or maybe—

I smiled when Ares poked his head through the door, a slightly haunted look in his eyes.

With a giggle, I asked, “How did it go with you and Aunty Celestia?”

My human ran a hand through his hair as he sat down at the edge of our bed. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he grumbled while I, giggling, crawled toward him and wrapped my hooves around his back, placing my head on his shoulder.

“That’s what everypony says,” I nuzzled him. “Was it really that bad?”

He let me drag him backwards and under the covers. “It wasn’t great,” he said after a minute. “There was a lot of fire and yelling and death-threats and fire and yelling…”

Grinning, I took his shoes, socks, and shirt off with a spell, before placing my head on his chest. “You said fire and yelling twice,” I remarked, cooing silently as Ares ran a hand through my mane.

“There was a lot of those two things,” he said, shivering slightly. “I think she almost burned my eyebrows off.”

“That just means she likes you.”

Ares snorted, wiggling upward and placing his head under my chin. “Whatever you say, Candy. As long as I don’t get thrown into the sun, ol’ Sunbutt can be as scary as she wants.”

I snuggled closer, a little smile on my face as I draped a wing over him. “We’ll take a little nap,” I whispered. “Then we can go to dinner.”

“That’s not going to be fun,” my human commented, my grip tightening around him.

“Yeah, you’re probably right, but I can’t just hide,” I sighed. “I’ll go talk to Twilight after dinner; maybe before it.”

I felt a hand drumming against my side. “Didn’t the Princess say that you should do that in a few days?”

I raised an eyebrow down at him. “And where did you hear that?”

“Celestia told me after the-- thrashing, that’s a good word-- she gave me. She also said to keep you from doing that.”

“But I feel like I should talk to her today,” I explained, wiggling my body downward so I could nuzzle Ares’s neck. “I think she deserves that much…”

Ares gave my belly a quick tickle. “You’ve done enough today, Candy. Purple can wait for a day or two. I’m sure that Flash is in their room telling her everything that we told him. And guess what?”

I kissed my human’s neck. “What?”

Ares started to scratch my ears. “She hasn’t knocked down that door in a fit of rage or anything, so maybe she’ll listen to what you have to say.”

I shook my head to keep from drifting off, a little frown on my face. “Or maybe she just wants to wait to sock me in the face…”

Ares chuckled. “Hey Candy, what’s gonna be purple and pink and bruised all over?”

I slugged him. “You, if you don’t be quiet.”

@$%~~%$@

Dear Shining Armor,

It has recently come to our attention—We hope that you have received the letter from Cadence—that thou are a bit lost.

Though it is really none of our concern—and we send you our condolences, by the way—might We suggest that thou return to thy roots as it were. Thou were a fine Captain of the guard, and We heard that the position has not been filled in the Crystal Empire.

We are sure that Young Cadence would love to have thee fill it.

Yours,

Princess Luna

Shining Armor had received many, many letters in his short life. From urgent news from the princess to junk mail to chain letters, the stallion had seen and read it all. But, honestly, this had to be one of the strangest letters that he had ever received.

What are you playing at, Princess? Shining thought as he put down the letter on his nightstand, unable to sort out his feelings.

“Shining, are you alright there, Lad?” Shield, one of the stallion’s best friends’, asked, trotting over to him.

Shield’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Did that ex o’yours send ya another letter?”

Without saying a word, Shining passed his friend the letter, a puzzled expression still on his face.

Shield guffawed. “The bloody hell is the Princess thinkin’? Has she lost ‘er bloomin’ mind?”

“…That’s a…very good question, Shield,” Shining said. “Or maybe it’s just some sick joke?”

Shining, while he had already forgiven his wife—mostly—about her breaking up with him, he wasn’t particularly ready to see her again just yet. That wasn’t even thinking about Ares and what he was going to say to that man when he saw him.

“I could get a few of the lads and we could go with ya,” Shield offered, nudging him. “Then we could ‘ave a little talk with this Ares fellow…”

Shining shook his head before getting out of his seat. “Nono, we’re not going to do that, you’re not going to do that,” he started to pace. “Just stand there for a second and let me think.”

“Ya know... maybe ya should go.”

The unicorn stopped to look at his friend in confusion. “Shield, have you been drinking again?”

Shield grinned. “That’s not the point, is it, Laddie? Think about it, ya need a job, and ya don’t want ta work there—”

“No I don’t,” Shining said quickly. “It’s fine seeing you guys once in a while, but for the long run,” he hummed, trying to think of a way to put it delicately. “I’d rather not.”

Shield slapped his chest. “Exactly! I know ya, Shining, lad. Yer a stallion that needs somethin’ ta do or ya’ll lose yer mind.”

He sat down in Shining’s bed and pulled out a flask. “And you’ll be able ta reconcile with that lass an’ all of that nonsense.”

Shining sat down next to him. “…The guards there do need a bit more training…” he said, still not convinced.

Shield took a swig of his drink. “Exactly, ya said that ya want ta be there for the Princess, and what better way than ta guard ‘er?”

@$%~##%$@

I woke up with a yawn, doing a little stretch as I cracked open an eye. Oh sweet Faust, I thought, rubbing my eye. How long was I out?

I smiled when I heard a little sleepy snore, Ares shifting in the bed, the man curled into a little ball as I held him, his back against my chest.

Aw, he looks so cute, I thought, rubbing my human’s belly, trying to coax him out of his little ball. He grunted, rolling over and pressing his face against my chest, trying to get away from my hooves.

“Oh no you don’t,” I giggled, leaning down and nuzzling the top of his head, while my tail tickled his back.

I teased the sleeping man a little more before wrapping my hooves around him. “You’re such a silly man,” I murmured, ready to get a little more sleep.

“He’s silly? You’re the one tickling him.”

My eyes shot open and I sat up when I heard somepony talking in our room, a my horn glowing with a spell powerful enough to really mess somepony up.

“Hey, hey, easy there!”

I blinked, frowning as a batpony, who was sitting in a chair across the room with what looked to be a mango in her hoof, stared back at me sheepishly.

“What the buck are you doing in my room?!” I demanded, while I laid a wing protectively over Ares, who was starting to stir.

The batpony rubbed the back of her head before getting out of her chair, putting her fruit down, and bowing. “Sergeant Echo of the Lunar guard at your service,” she said brightly. “Princess Luna sent me here to act as the human’s personal guard!”

“Whash that?” Ares muttered, rubbing his eyes tiredly before looking around. “Candy, what’s going on?”

I could almost feel the hate when he looked at the mare, who bared her teeth at him with a little growl.

“The fuck you doing here?” he demanded, sitting up.

The mare grinned savagely, before taking a step closer toward our bed. “Well, ol’ monkey chum of mine,” The two didn’t break eye-contact as the mare hopped up on the bed and kept coming until her and Ares were butting heads. “I was ordered—well, more like bribed—to guard your flank.”

“The fuck you are.”

I couldn’t help but notice how long the mare’s fangs were as she licked them. “It’s not your call, Big Boy,” Turning around—and hitting Ares with her tail—she hopped out of the bed and trotted back toward her chair, picking up her mango with a smirk.

“I’m your personal honest-to-goodness guard now; for Equestria, for the night, for fruit!” She took a big bite out of her mango before waving a hoof around dismissively. “Now, do me a favor and pretend I’m not here. You two aren’t supposed to know about me until tomorrow.”

“Candy, go get a guard, I’ll hit her in the head with something before—”

Before Ares could say anymore, I shut his mouth with a spell and wrapped my hooves around him, closing my eyes. “Just… Just pretend she isn’t there,” I pleaded. “We’ll deal with the crazy pony in like ten minutes, please?”

After a minute, he leaned down and kissed my forehead. “Alright, Candy, we’ll ignore the crazy pony that somehow got in our locked room and will probably murder us in our sleep.”

The batpony huffed. “I wouldn’t murder you in your sleep!” she said, sounding undignified as she ate more of her fruit. “If I did, then I wouldn’t get my fruit that I’m getting to watch you.”

“You’re the worst.”

“Well, you’re not the first one to say that, so nah!”

Author's Notes:

I'm not too happy about this story-title ALSO being a love song... I try to get out and they pull me back in!

Once again, this fics is gonna be LONG, new batpony characters, Shining Armor, etc...

Comment, blah, blah, I'm going to sleep now...