You know, not to sound paranoid or anything, but I think that there might be some otherworldly being hell-bent on making sure that I never have sex with my coltfriend. Two of my guards busting through my window is a little strange but I could just chalk it up as bad luck and that’d be it, but when my ex-husband, whom I’ve lost sleep thinking about, happens to blast through my door like a crazy pony? That’s when I feel I have the right to look up at the sky and shake a hoof angrily at my divine tormentor.

It took a few seconds of staring at my guards, then at what was left of the wall, and then at Ares, before I was able to collect myself and think, Sweet Faust, somepony’s going to get fired for this.

Couldn’t I have five seconds without something like this happening?! Couldn’t I just be a normal pony that didn’t have to deal with ponies blowing holes in their walls or their crazy aunts or super powered evil villains?! Is that really too much to ask?

Ares, it seemed, shared my frustration. After grabbing me and shielding me when the wall exploded (which I really appreciated by the way), my human picked up his shoe that was lying next to our bed and tossed it through the gaping hole in the wall as hard as he could.

“What the fuck is wrong with you ponies?!” he snarled, still in those silly smiley face boxers of his. “You broke our fucking window and a god-damn wall!” stumbling forward in rage, he plucked his other shoe from the ground and cocked his arm back with a murderous look in his eyes.

I was about ready to start throwing things myself, more of the deadly magical kind than the shoe kind, but I was able to calm myself down with a few deep breaths. While it would have made me feel better just launching a few fireballs through the hole in the wall all willy-nilly, I was a princess and a princess does not conduct herself in such a manner. I was just going to have to make do with throwing a few ponies in the dungeons.

“Somepony come through that hole right now and explain yourself!” I snapped, almost shaking in anger. I was one step away from flying through that hole and giving whoever the heck did this a piece of my mind, along with a pretty thorough flank kicking. “Do it now or I’m going to come over there and—“

“Hiya, Cadence.” A pained, nasally voice croaked out.

Ares froze in place, his red, angry face turning slightly pale as the debris around the hole cleared, revealing the stallion who broke through my bedroom wall.

S-Shining? I somehow managed to think, my mouth opening in shock. All of my anger just seemed to drain away; the anger of these ponies ruining my night and all the hard work that I had put into it, the anger from thinking that somepony might have been trying to hurt either Ares or me, all of it just disappeared when I looked at Shining.

…Thank goodness that they barged in on us before we went all the way. I saw Ares drop his shoe in shock as he walked over and gently yanked Shining to his feet. This would have been a million times worse if Ares was naked right now.

With as much pride as somepony in their undies could manage, Ares knelt down and looked Shining over. Shining, his nose absolutely dripping blood, smiled at him—or at least tried to smile—it came out more like a grimace.

“Hello Ares,” he said, tenderly touching his nose with a hoof. “It looks like you got me pretty good.”

Ares, who looked almost too pale, somehow managed to chuckle. “Yeah, it looks like it.”

Shining tried to touch his nose before drawing back and wincing in pain. “You might have broken it,” he said calmly, like him and Ares were just casually talking in the street and not in my bedroom with my human in his underwear and Shining with a busted face. I would have made a joke about stallions if I wasn’t frozen in place staring at Shiny like an idiot.

Shining looked back at the hole in the wall before looking over at me, a small frown on his face. “I’m sorry about the hall,” he said, something flashing in his eyes for a second before he looked away from me. “We all heard somepony screaming bloody murder up here and we all thought something had happened to you.” He looked around the room. “I guess we were wrong huh? I’ll make sure to fix it up as soon as I get this nose looked at.”

A million things flashed through my mind, some of them questions, some of them apologies, and some of it just gibberish, but there was only thing that came out of my mouth,.

“S-Shining? Is it really you?”

Oo ~~~oO

Cadence seems to be taking this better than I thought she would, Shining thought as he nursed his nose with a hoof. If I was her I’d be freaking out and throwing—Shining watched as Cadence started to lose her footing. Before anyone could do anything, the princess hit the ground with a light thud.

Shining gasp, his eyes widening as he took a step forward, intent on running over to the fallen princess to see if she was okay, but Ares beat him to it. With a terrified look on his face, the human leap over Shining and raced over to the alicorn, everyone else in the room forgotten.

“Cadence?” Ares said, sounding panicked as he knelt down and gently picked her up. “Cadence?!”

“Take it easy, Ares,” Echo, who had hidden behind an upturned table with Flash, said as she looked the princess over. “I can hear her heartbeat from here; she’s fine, just probably passed out.”

Ares looked down at the mare in his arms before walking over and putting her in the bed and putting an ear to her chest. “Oh thank God,” Ares said after a minute, covering his face with a hand in relief.

You could have heard a pin drop in that room as the guards looked at each other. Every single one of them knew that, without a shadow of a doubt, they were absolutely, undeniably bucked. That being said, that didn’t stop a few of them from rushing out of the room to go and get the doctor so she could have a look at the princess. They might all have their heads on the chopping block, but they were still guards and a guards duty was to their princess.

“Echo..., did you guys really hear a yell all the way in your barracks?”

Echo raised an eyebrow at Ares actually using her name. “Well, we heard something that sounded like a roar coming from above us, so we thought that something had happened to you two.” she said, rocking back and forth uncomfortably.

Ares nodded, placing a hand on Cadence’s side. “Alright,” he said after taking a deep breath, “so I understand you guys going through the window, but that wall?”

Echo took a step back at the human’s change in tone. It may not have been abrupt enough for most to hear but she could almost taste Ares’ underlying anger. That wasn’t what worried her though. No, what worried her was how Ares wasn’t up screaming in her face, or throwing anything, or attacking anyone, he was just sitting there, staring at her with with emotionless look.

“Are you alright there, Ares?” Echo asked, sneaking a look to check and see if she still had her sword strapped to her side. “You seem to be taking this pretty well.”

The human patted Cadence’s side before getting to his feet. “I’m not taking this well at all,” he told the batmare, dusting off his clothes, that had been thrown all over the room, and putting them on. “I was trying to have a nice night with my girlfriend and people started flying through the fucking walls, Candy passes out because she sees the motherfucker who knocked down the wall,” Ares pointed out Shining, who was trying to decide if he’d actually prefer a screaming Ares instead of this calm and collected one, “and to top it all off I have to go to work in about six hours.”

For the briefest of instances, Echo could see just how angry he was. Ares’ stance became wider, his chest and shoulders became tight, and he looked ready to just snap, but then it was gone as quickly as it came. So to answer your question, Echo, no, I’m not taking this well at all. I’m actually pretty fucking mad right now.”

Shining tried to say something but Ares just silenced him with a finger before continuing.

“But me being mad isn’t going to do anything for anyone right now.” He swept a hand all around the room. “You all know that you fucked up, and when Candy gets up she’ll let you have it.” He shushed one of the guards when they tried to say something. “Now, I’ve had enough excitement for the night, so how about you get this wall fixed and you all go back down,” Ares pinched the bridge of his nose. “Actually, I don’t care where you go, just get the fuck out of here…. Except for you, Shining; I want to talk to you.”

The guards, all of whom were feeling more than a little horrible, scurried out of the room, just leaving Ares, Shining, and the unconscious Cadence.

Shining resisted the urge to chuckle. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anypony yell at the guard like that,” he told Ares, who put his head back in his hands. “Who’d have thought that talking to a fully grown pony like a disappointed father would be more effective than just yelling at them?”

When the human just didn’t say anything, Shining almost trotted over to him intending to help out but he stopped himself. No, he thought, let’s just give him a moment to simmer down while I get everything fixed up.

Closing his eyes, Shining willed his magic to flow through his horn, picking up chunks—all of which were no bigger than a pebble; he hadn’t wanted to hurt anypony when he destroyed the walls—of the wall and moving them toward the hole. The crystals seemed to melt into each other, shifting and moulding around the damaged wall.

Alright, now’s the hard part. Gritting his teeth, Shining forced the liquid crystal to harden and shape to his will, slowly but surely becoming a good-as-new wall, though Shining was mindful enough to put in an opening for a door. He may have been a stronger than average unicorn but that didn’t mean he was anywhere strong enough to transfigure that crystal into wood and steel for a proper door.

They’re just going to have to deal with an empty hole in the wall until Cadence gets somepony up here to put in a new door.

When the last of the wall had been put in place he stumbled, shaking his head to get the ringing out of his ears. “Might have overdone it a little bit,” he muttered, weakly righting himself as he eyed the room. Buck it, I may as well fix up the rest of this mess, he thought, willing more magic into his horn. I need to go to the ward for this nose anyways. The doctor can just give me something for magic exhaustion as well.

With practiced ease, Shining lifted up tables and chairs, put clothes and pictures back where they belonged, and cleaned the carpet until the room was spick and span, leaving Shining exhausted but happy. Well, at least I did one thing right before Cadence kicks my flank out of the country. Shining, with a sigh, sat down on his rump trying to catch his breath and ignore the pain in his nose as he stared at Ares.

Maybe I should say something to him? He thought. Try to start the conversat—

“You know, I really want to throw you out the window now, right?” Ares said, one of his hands petting Cadence and the other rubbing his temple.

Shining blinked. Not really able to help himself, he asked, “Is it because of the wall thing?”

He cracked a smile when he saw Ares looking at him like he was crazy, and he might just be, but what did that matter? He had pretty much assaulted a princess. Even if he could explain that this was all a big misunderstanding there was a pretty good chance that he was going to be booted onto the next train that went back to Canterlot, so he may as well have a little fun; it was either that or he was going to start hitting his head against the wall because of his own sheer stupidly.

So, for the sake of the wall that he had just repaired, he was going to look the alien that stole his wife in the eyes and throw a few witty remarks his way until said alien got up and beat the horseshoes off of him or he ran out of wittiness.

Ares’s mouth twitched. “Yes, it was because of the wall thing.”

Shining hummed, trotting over and hopping onto the bed next to the human.

“Well, I’m sorry about that,” he said, staring at the little hole in the wall that he had made. “We all thought that you two were in trouble.” He chuckled. “It sounded like somepony was roaring up here.”

Ares blew a raspberry. “You heard that all the way through this floor?”

Shining nodded. “You’d be surprised what you’re able to hear in the barracks here. I remember one of the guards telling me that they could hear me snoring from their bunk once.”

The two were silent for a while after that, Shining just quietly sitting there while Ares kept looking down at Cadence to see if she was okay. Both of them knew that they should be saying something, but because the two were tired, irritated, Shining had a broken nose, and Ares was still trying to get over the fact that his shout was so loud that someone could hear it through like two feet of crystal(and trying not to feel too proud about that), they stayed quiet and waited for the other to say something.

During these few minutes, Shining was able to get a good look at what had once been his bedroom. To his mild surprise, the room had remained largely the same. There were still those pictures on the coffee table that always wobbled, the bed was in the same place; heck, he would probably be able to find the Playmare that he had hidden under the mattress if he bothered to look.

That being said, the room did look different at the moment. There were unlit candles—which he had probably blown out with his little blast—littering the room, there was a music player that was sitting in the corner of the room, and there were even a few rose petals on the floor and the bed. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what had been happening before Shining and the guard had decided to break down the wall.

All of this has Cadence written all over it, Shining thought, sneaking a glance at the mare and Ares. She always liked doing this when she got in one of those ‘moods’. Thank Faust that nopony knocked down any of those candles; I’d have really felt bad if I accidently burned down Cadence’s room. Shining looked back at Ares. And thank goodness we all did this before the two of them were really going at it.

Was it kind of weird that he had to think about someone else having sex with his ex-wife? Honestly, and Shining didn’t know if it was the because of the nose or something else, but he was kind of okay with it.

Well, not okay, but he felt that he could deal with it at the moment. It also helped that Shining knew for a fact that Ares really cared about Cadence; so much so that he had been willing to fight fifteen armed guards to make sure that she was safe. Sure, he was going to use a shoe to do it, but it was the thought that counted.

“You should probably go get that nose checked.” Ares finally said. “You’re getting blood everywhere.”

“You wanted to me stay,” Shining pointed out.

Ares frowned. “You know why I want to talk to you,” he almost growled.

Shining rolled his eyes. “That’s why we’re both sitting here waiting for the other to say what they want the other to say.”

Ares looked unsure for a second. “We could just go outside and beat the shit out of each other you know. “he offered. “We’ll both probably feel better after we take a couple of swings at each other. "

You know, that sounds oddly tempting, Shining thought before shaking his head. No, we need to clear the air by talking, and I’m sure Cadence wouldn’t want to see either of us bloody and bruised.

With a sigh, the unicorn looked up at the human, who turned to look at him. Both of the them were tired, both were more than a little battered, mentally and physically, and both wanted nothing more than to just get this over with so they could go to bed.

Ares reached down and grabbed his fillyfriend’s hoof, running his thumb around the edge of it while he looked at the wall. “You know, Cadence and I were worried about you; when you left I mean.”

“I told you that I was leaving,” Shining said, scooting closer toward the human.

“I don’t remember you saying where you were going,” Ares grumbled. “For all we knew you were in pony Mexico doing body shots off strippers with a Mariachi band playing in the background.”

“...What?”

Ares sighed, tiredly slumping down. “Forget I said that,” he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m a little too tired to deal with this bullshit.”

Shining nodded sympathetically. “I could always come back another day.”

“You could, but now that you’re here I may as well ask why the hell you just popped up here out of the blue like this.” Ares’ eyes narrowed slightly. “No letter to tell us you were coming or anything.”

Shining shifted uncomfortably, trying to ignore Ares’ burning gaze. I don’t even blame him for being mad, he thought, forcing himself to look back at Ares after a moment’s hesitation. I’d be pretty mad if my fillyfriend’s ex just happened to appear at her house one day.

“I’d actually like to talk to Cadence about that, alone, if you don’t mind, Ares,” he said apologetically. “I know the two of us need to clear the air, and I really want to do that, but I want to just talk to Cadence first.”

Ares looked at him a long moment before nodding slowly. “That’s fair, Shining,” he said calmly, making the stallion smile slightly. “But let me just give you a little warning.” For a brief, brief moment, the human seemed bigger and more threatening to Shining, who flinched under the human’s withering gaze. “I’ve told you already how shitty I feel about what happened, and I still feel pretty shitty, but you have another think coming if you’re thinking about trying to get Candy back.”

Every one of Ares’ muscles were tense, his normally calm, green eyes were steely and almost wild, and his teeth were bared in a snarl. Sweet Faust, it sounds like his voice is getting deeper, Shining thought, resisting the urge to scurry out of the room at whatever he saw now sitting next to him at the moment, because it sure as hay wasn’t Ares. No, this was someone else, someone who was a stark contrast from the usually calm, cool, and collected human that Shining had known; this was someone who could actually be very dangerous if the situation got out of control. Ares leaned forward, his green eyes staring through the ex-prince.

“I love this mare right here more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life, more than my friends, my family, anyone. Because of her kindness, her generosity, I am still alive. Because of her I wasn’t treated like some animal or kicked back out into the cold, like you wanted.”

This time, Shining couldn’t stop himself from flinching.

“I owe her for that and a hell of a lot more. She’s the only family I’ve got here, Shining, and I’m going to make damn sure that she’s happy and healthy until she’s an old, fat mare sitting on a rocking chair.” Ares’ eyes narrowed to slits. “Don’t you fucking try Shining; that’s the only thing I’m going to tell you. Don’t even think about trying, because I will give you such a fucking fight that even if you win you’ll lose, you understand?”

He’s willing to fight for her when I wasn’t, Shining thought, looking up at Ares with a hint of awe. Yet all he really wants to do is make her happy.

For the first time that night, Shining genuinely smiled. “I understand, Ares,” he said, his sense of unease going away as the human’s eyes softened. “I’m sorry about ruining your night with Cadence.” He waved a hoof around. “It looked like it was going to be a full night.”

This time, Ares flinched, a blush coming to his face. “Yeah, you laugh it up, funny guy,” he muttered, looking down at Cadence. “When she tells me my dick’s bigger I’m going to piss myself laughing.”

With a chuckle, Shining hopped off the bed. “Threatening aside, did you tell me everything you wanted to say?”

Ares nodded. “Everything I wanted to say to you right now,” he said, shooing him with a hand. “Now you better go and get that nose fixed. Cadence will come and talk to you when she’s ready.”

“Afterward, the two of us can have a real talk ourselves,” Shining said over his shoulder as he trotted toward the hole in the wall.

“You know, the whole us beating the shit out of each other thing could still be on the table.”

Shining stopped, once again considering it. “No, let’s try it my way first. If that doesn’t work we’ll try your way.”

“Well, if you finally feel up for doing that, I’ll make sure not to beat your furry little ass too hard.”

Shining cracked a smile. “You couldn’t kick your way out of a paper bag that had holes in it. For Cadence’s sake, I’ll make sure to beat that ugly mug of yours; with any luck it’ll make you a little prettier.” Looking back at Ares, his grin turned smug. “And when Cadence tells you my dick was bigger, don’t come crying to me.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ares grin, making his own smile bigger and more genuine. Maybe things weren’t so bad after all, a small part of Shining thought. Just because life slams a door in your face doesn’t mean you can’t crawl through the window. Maybe he could still find his place here; maybe he could fill the emptiness in his chest.

But none of that really mattered now. No, what mattered now was how bucking bad his nose hurt, and how much he needed to get that sucker fixed.

~-~-~-~-~-~

“Candy, come on, just open your eyes for a second so I can see if you’re alright.”

“…”

“Please? I just want to make sure that you don’t have brain damage or anything. You know, like any good boyfriend would.”

I grumbled at the voice, rolling over on my other side and curling into a little ball under my blankets. Couldn’t a princess have a good night’s sleep without somepony coming in and trying to wake them up?

Some of my decisions have the very country balanced on a needle. If I don’t have a good night’s sleep, my sleep deprivation could affect my work. I might not be able to focus on anything and that might end with me doing something disastrous like accidently going to sleep in the middle of some important meeting. I offend the king of the Gryphons, and bam, the Empire’s at war. So, with my duty to my subjects in mind, I simply ignored the voice and nuzzled myself into my pillow a little more.

I was about to take the train back to Sleepytown when I felt somepony nudging me. Just ignore them, Cadence, they’ll go away when they see that you’re not paying them any mind.

I was nudged again; harder this time.

Just keep your eyes closed and your breath steady, they—

I perked an ear up when I heard somepony sharply inhale right above me. Before I could do a thing, my covers were thrown off, my legs were grabbed, and I was given one of the quickest but most aggressive raspberries of my life. It wasn’t long enough to make me laugh or anything but it sure as hay was long enough to wake me right up.

My eyes snapped open as I wildly started to squirm. “Alright, I’m up!” I snapped, trying to shove my tormentor off me. “Can’t you let a pony sleep for five—epp!” I was lifted off of my warm, soft, safe, and comfy bed and brought into a crushing bear hug.

“Thank Christ! I never thought that you’d wake up Candy!”

Instinctively, I wrapped my hooves around my hugger. “…Ares?” I said yawning. “What’s got you in such a tizzy?”

My human nuzzled my cheek, not letting up his hug a bit. “Are you alright, Cadence? Do you remember what happened?” Ares asked, sounding slightly panicked.

I frowned, squinting in thought as I yawned. Maybe he had a bad dream? I thought, idly rubbing his back with a hoof. Because I have no idea what he’s—

Then my memory came back and hit me like a speeding train. Me trying to have a ‘fun’ night with Ares, the guards breaking through our windows and wall…

I tensed against Ares for a second before going limp. “Is Shining really here, Ares?” I quietly asked.

“Yeah, after you passed out I took him to the doctor to get his nose fixed up,” Ares replied, making me wince.

Passing out?... Well that’s embarrassing, I thought, nuzzling Ares when I noticed that he was shaking as he held me. “Is the wall still…”

“No, Shining made sure that it was fixed before he let me take him anywhere; though we’re going to have to get a new door put in.”

I nodded, reaching up and grabbing Ares’ face, forcing him to look at me. His eyes were bloodshot, his face looked a little pale, and he looked like he was about to pass out from exhaustion. “Ares, what time is it?” I asked, nudging him with a wing.

He shook his head. “I don’t know, like four or five in the morning.”

Wiggling out of his grasp, which was starting to get so shaky I was getting worried, I forced him into the bed. “You have work tomorrow,” I scolded, hopping into the bed and making him lie down. “You should have gone to bed hours ago!” When he tried to sit back up I simply crawled on top of him, pinning him to the bed.

“Someone had to make sure that everything got situated after that whole shit-show,” Ares answered with a tired sigh, reaching up and sticking his hands under my wings. “And I wanted to make sure that you were okay.”

My glare softened. “Thank you for doing that,” I softly said, looking down onto my human’s tired, stressed out face.

“You’re going to have to yell at those guards and stuff but other than that I made sure that Shining got taken care of, I got the doc to look at you, and the wall got fixed,” he yawned, “so you won’t be that stressed out when you wake up.”

I almost chuckled at that. I was already a little nervous about getting back into the swing of things with ruling my country, but now I was going to have to wake up and deal with my guard and Shining. I didn’t even know what I was going to do with that stallion when I saw him.

Why was he here? What did he want? Why the buck did he knock my wall down?!

I was about to just get up and start my day, it wasn’t like I was going to get any more sleep anyway, but then I just sighed and laid my head next to Ares, burying my head in his pillow.

“You know, I was supposed to buck your brains out tonight,” I said, my words muffled by the pillow. “Why couldn’t that have just happened without any interruptions?”

Ares weakly chuckled. “I wanted to make sure that you were going to be walking bow-legged to work, Candy,” he told me. “But I guess we’re just going to have to do it another time, huh?”

My eyes opened when I heard his tone of voice change from slightly mirthful to doubtful. Oh no you don’t, I thought, sitting up and pressing my nose against my human’s.

“You better believe it, mister,” I said, a little louder than I meant, wrapping my hooves around Ares’ neck. “I don’t give a rotten horseapple about why the hay fate is stopping us from bucking but we’re going to have sex, my little human.”

I nuzzled his cheek. “I don’t care if Shining’s in the other bucking room watching us! Don’t you be getting cold hooves on me, Ares.” He opened an eye to look at me questioningly, and I responded by kissing him.

“I think I know how you’re feeling, Ares,” I said, breaking the kiss for a second before kissing him again. “I know that you feel bad about what happened between me and Shining.” I kissed him again, this time more desperately.

“But you shouldn’t; for good or for bad, I chose you.” I smiled down at him before falling back on top of him, once again trapping him under me. “I don’t know about you, but even after what happened, I’m pretty happy with how it turned out. I got the greatest, sexiest, most loving, and most interesting coltfriend in the world, one who makes me laugh and makes my life interesting, so don’t you think what I think you’re thinking or I’m going to just lay like this until you understand how much I love you, buster brown.”

Giving his ear a final little bite, I let my wings drape along my sides and closed my eyes. “Whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with me, Ares.” I smiled when I felt slightly shaky hands wrapping themselves around me. “Nopony’s going to change that.”

“I love you, Mi Amore Cadenza.”

I smiled and closed my eyes. “I love you too, Ares,” I wiggled on top of my human bed, trying to make myself a little more comfortable, “but the two of us are going to stay in this bed for a good while I think.”

“I have work in the morning,” Ares pointed out.

I snorted. “I’ll send somepony out in the morning to tell your boss that you’re not going to be able to make it tomorrow. You haven’t slept at all, I had to watch somepony smash through my wall, and it’s almost six in the morning, so I’m sure we’ll be forgiven for taking one more day off.”

I could almost feel my human smile against my neck. “You’re taking the day off too?” he asked, running his fingers through my mane.

I sighed happily. “Blame it on external stress,” I muttered, not bothering to really say why I just wanted to spend a little more time with him before dealing with what I knew was going to be one heck of a headache. “Do you know what relieves stress, my little human? Wing preening, belly rubs, and cuddling; a lot of it. So guess what you’re going to do be doing when we wake up again?”