CASE FILE NAME: "THE PIPE SLIME INCIDENT"

REPORT FILED BY: FLASH SENTRY

Suspect RARITY BELLE has been discovered to be the source of a mysterious ailment that has been afflicting the town of Ponyville. The process is called "infection," and is passed through – this reporter kids you not - by . . . drugged . . . breast milk. Drinking this milk OR swallowing gobs of "slime," produced from the pores of the "infected's" body renders the effects of being rendered a docile, easily controlled pseudo-zombie (in males) or turning into an extremely lustful crazy person obsessed with spreading the infection and as much of their milk as possible to as many people as possible (in females). Known infectees include RARITY BELLE, FLUTTERSHY, APPLEJACK, RAINBOW "DANGER" DASH, AND TWILIGHT SPARKLE, as well as the entire young adult population of Ponyville.

The "infection" worked two ways: with infectees either becoming addicted to the narcotic-laced . . . milk. OR by applying a "slug" made of the "slime" which nestled within the victim's stomach like a parasite, and proceeded to override all signals to the brain and reprogram them into different signals.

Discovery was made that subject RARITY BELLE was, in fact, being manipulated and controlled by a creature called THE PIPE SLIME, called such because its method of infection caused the aforementioned lactation. It did this to the subject and used the subject to infect others in the same for . . . reasons that were not made entirely clear before the creature's destruction.

SPECULATION: The Pipe Slime wanted the milk to feed secret children of its.

OR The Pipe Slime wanted the milk to feed itself.

OR The Pipe Slime desired to take over Equestria, as was the motivation of THE CHANGELING QUEEN in the past.

Thankfully, PRINCESS MI AMORA CADENZA and PRINCE SHINING ARMOR were able to get RARITY BELLE to cooperate and lead them to the PIPE SLIME'S lair, where the combined efforts of PRINCESS CADENZA, TWILIGHT SPARKLE, and SHINING ARMOR the PIPE SLIME was frozen and shattered into a million pieces beyond recovery. The psychic feedback from its death caused all the parasite-slugs to evict themselves from their hosts and merge into the creature that came to be called THE SPARKSLIME, after its sparkly sheen. Mercifully, this creature was also frozen and shattered beyond repair.

In the aftermath, PRINCESS CADENZA arranged for psychiatric therapy for all of the affected victims, including the entire population of Ponyville and RARITY BELLE.

Shining Armor held the report in his hand, signing as he brushed his other hand over his head, as if to wipe away the memories of that terrible affair. He knew nothing in the report was made up, that it was entirely accurate. Everything in it was true. Rarity, Twilight, the milk, the slime – dear Celestia almighty, the slime. Even though it had been ten years since that ordeal, he remembered the events like it had been yesterday.

No, scratch that, he remembered it like it had been ten minutes ago. Maybe five.

Placing the file down on his office desk, he shoved it away and made to review the remaining old reports in the pile on his desk.

Elsewhere in Ponyville, bespectacled Silver Lens was on a chair with the window blinds turned down for the least amount of sunlight. Sure, a therapy session might want to have light to keep the subjects comfortable, but Silver Lens found they could speak more freely when the dark concealed her face, so it was like they were talking to an impartial nothing instead of a judging, note-taking shrink. She had her clipboard out with her pencil tapping against the wood of the board. Noticing her nervous tic, she stopped herself.

Today, she was scheduled to talk with Twilight's group. It had been a decade since that incident that led to them meeting for the first time. It was ten years ago that Cadence had set Silver Lens up to be their therapist in Ponyville.

She didn't mind dealing with their quirks. She was a therapist. People with quirks were a risk in the business.

She would go over a few routine questions with the girls every so often, to make sure they were coping well. To see whether they were hiding scars instead of healing them. To be sure their minds were in one piece and at peace.

"How do you feel when you think about … what happened?" Lens would ask. "How did you feel when you were nursing your own friends?" She'd say.

Their responses were the same each time.

"Motherly." Fluttershy would bashfully admit.

"Embarrassed." Twilight would say point-blank. "But it did feel kinda nice, like pressure relief."

"It was okay. It wasn't their fault they were all goopy-loopy. HA! Get it? Goop? Because it's a slime, see?" Pinkie would joke.

"Good practice for when Ah become a mom, Ah guess." Applejack would figure, tilting her head to the side.

"Nice to be on the other side." Rainbow Dash would say.

Then there was Rarity. Rarity would say nothing. She would cross her arms, sit in Silver Lens' couch because she was required to, and remain silent. Every time, Silver Lens would take her glasses off, twirl them, and ask Rarity the same question again.

"Rarity, are we really going to play this game?" Silver Lens would ask, knowing full well the answer would be "Yes." That is, if Rarity would bother to answer at all instead of being silent the length of their conversation.

"Rarity, we can't get anywhere if you won't let me in." Rarity met her with a turn of her head. Silver Lens sighed, running her fingers over the temples of her head.

Every time, Silver Lens would ask.

"Rarity, why won't you let me in?"

Each time, Rarity gave her a glare.

"Because I … am fine." Rarity growled. "Because I have no need for a shrink poking around my personal thoughts. Because my mind is a private place and you … are not invited."

With that, Rarity would get up and walk out. Silver Lens sighed, like every time, and laid her clipboard across her lap while wondering what could to do to get Rarity to let her in. To talk about what happened. To let Silver Lens become her friend rather than her enemy. To get Rarity to trust her.

To get Rarity to trust, period.

The door clicked as Rarity entered her house, irritable and tired after her appointment with Silver Lens that mostly involved her staying still and repeating things she said before in the vain hope they would stick this time.

Rainbow Dash was there, having finished her appointment before Rarity. She was overseeing Rarity's sister, Sweetie Belle eating a healthy lunch in a bowl. Rainbow Dash noticed Rarity coming in.

Dash looked at Rarity and saw in an instant how stressed she was. Rainbow Dash sighed and wrapped her arm around Rarity's shoulder. "Same as always?"

"Same as always."

Rarity and Rainbow Dash left the kitchen. Sweetie Belle stopped eating and listened to them. Their feet on the stairs, their hands sliding on the guard rails and finally, the click of the lock on the door to their bedroom.

Sweetie Belle got up from the table and went up the stairs. She stood in front of the door in quiet contemplation. She pressed her ear against the door, pressing one hand on it while she fiddled with the knob with the other. Eventually, Sweetie succeeded in picking the lock. With delicate care, she gently moved the door inwards, cracking just barely enough for her to peek inside at what Rarity and Rainbow Dash were doing.

They did this every time after an appointment with Silver Lens. Rarity would come home, upset, and Dash would guide her to their bedroom. Recently, they forgot to lock the door one time, and Sweetie Belle accidentally peered in on what they were doing.

She was mesmerized by it. Rarity had taken the top of her dress off and let Rainbow Dash latch to her bare chest. Sweetie Belle wasn't certain what they were doing, but it looked amazing and they were definitely enjoying it, going from the smiles on their faces. Sweetie figured out to lock the door so she could spy on them.

Sweetie Belle wasn't sure why, but … recently, she had been looking at her friend, Scootaloo, differently. Sweetie Belle had been thinking about Scootaloo differently, and she had been thinking she'd like Scootaloo to do to her what Rainbow Dash was doing to Rarity. She wanted it. Whatever it was.

Rainbow Dash and Rarity had been living together for awhile now. But for some reason, whenever Sweetie Belle tried to talk about it, or mention to her friends, Rarity and Rainbow Dash would shush her and make her stop. Rainbow Dash took Sweetie Belle out for playdates, to lunch, and even helped Rarity with dinner every night, almost like a second big sister. But Rarity and Rainbow Dash would make sure she kept silent about it, like Rainbow Dash living here was a crime or something.

Sweetie Belle didn't know. She didn't know, ten years ago, Rarity's friends came at her and Rainbow Dash leveling accusations of – of – of abuse. Of domestic abuse. It was impossible to tell how much of it was just Rarity being her naturally manipulative self and how much was the Pipe Slime's infection driving her to be a temperamental beast. It was for that reason they kept it a secret. It was for that reason Rarity did her damnedest to be sure none of their friends out about Rainbow living with her.

They didn't understand. They would say it was a coping mechanic for dealing with the Pipe Slime's trauma, but it was so much more than that. Not that their friends would ever, ever believe them. So Rarity made sure they didn't know. They couldn't know.

Not now, not ever.

Sweetie Belle sighed, still wishing to have Scootaloo do whatever it was. It had to be good, given the smiles Rainbow Dash and Rarity wore while they were doing it and for several minutes after they were done. Maybe having Scootaloo do it once would help Sweetie Belle learn what it was, and then she could decide if it was as good as she hoped.

Sweetie Belle gasped, noticing Rainbow Dash detach and Rarity pull her top back on. Before they could step out and realize she was observing, Sweetie Belle scurried down the stairs and back to the kitchen. She was in the middle of seating herself the way she was before Dash and Rarity left when she stopped, thinking a drink would go perfect with her lunch. Sweetie Belle went to the fridge and looked inside.

"Hmm." Nothing that was in there really sounded good. Milk, some juices … Sweetie saw an unusual bottle she didn't recognize behind the cartons. Shoving the juices to the side, Sweetie reached in and grabbed it. It was a water bottle filled with white fluid. Written on it in black marker was the words "WHITE POISON. DO NOT DRINK."

Sweetie Belle wiggled the bottle, trying to figure out what it was.

"Sweetie Belle!"

Sweetie Belle saw Rarity and Rainbow Dash.

"What are you doing with that?" Rarity asked. Her voice sounded like she was willing to listen to Sweetie Belle, but would murder her if her explanation was displeasing to Rarity in any way.

"Well, I saw it in the back of the fridge, and I didn't know what it was, so I … picked it up to see." Sweetie Belle replied.

Rarity exhaled sharply, blinked, and chuckled. She took the bottle from Sweetie Belle and put it back in the fridge. "Sweetie Belle, there's a reason the bottle is labeled "poison." I'm … keeping it for a friend."

Rarity, like any liar worth their salt, knew the best lies were the ones with bits of truth in them, and it was technically true. She was keeping it for a friend … even if that "friend" was a rainbow-haired woman standing three feet away in the doorway.

"They'll be around to pick it up in a few days." Rarity said. "Please don't touch it again."

Sweetie Belle nodded. "Okay, Rarity. I won't. I promise."

After the day ended and they all went to sleep, Sweetie Belle woke up earlier than usual. Cursing this unusual burst of morning energy, she went down to the kitchen to get breakfast.

She stumbled upon Rainbow Dash getting into the poison bottle and drinking it from it.

"Rainbow Dash?" Sweetie asked, startling Rainbow Dash, as she nearly dropped the bottle and slammed her body into the sink before correcting herself. "Are you drinking the white poison?"

Rainbow Dash looked at the bottle, then back to Sweetie Belle. "Yes. Yes, I am."

"Rarity said it was marked as poison for a reason!"

Rainbow Dash shifted her eyes. "Yes ..."

"The bottle's marked "do not drink!""

"It is." Rainbow Dash said.

Sweetie Belle crossed her arms like an upset, uncertain mother. "Rainbow Dash, what are we gonna do?"

"I'll tell you." Rarity said, appearing behind Sweetie Belle like a summoned ghost and putting her hands on Sweetie Belle's shoulders. "We are going to put the bottle back, and I am going to take Rainbow Dash to the hospital." Rarity gently shifted Sweetie Belle to the side and went to Rainbow Dash, taking the bottle and once again placing it back in the fridge. Rarity wrapped her hands around Dash and steered her outside.

Rainbow Dash looked over her shoulder at the door as Rarity continued pushing her out.

"Thanks for the save." Rainbow Dash said.

"You're welcome." Rarity said, tensing her teeth. "But you must be more careful, darling. We can't have Sweetie Belle knowing about this."

Rarity continued walking Rainbow Dash. Sweetie Belle looked out the door at them.

When they were safely out of sight, Sweetie Belle retreated into the house, stole the bottle from the fridge, and sprinted to Sweet Apple Orchards.

Out in the fields, Applejack was working hard as she usually did, pounding the trees to make the apples fall and occasionally rooting out the unwelcome weed when she saw Sweetie Belle hurrying towards her.

"Hey there, pardner!" Applejack waved Sweetie Belle over, taking the girl into her arms. "Wut's got y'all so worked up? Ya look like a rattlesnake bit ya!"

Sweetie Belle huffed and puffed, exhausted from her exercise.

"Eh, why don't y'all sit down with Apple Bloom and have a drink? You know, catch yer breath. Go on." Applejack moved Sweetie Belle in the direction of the house with a reassuring smack on her back. Sweetie Belle went inside and found Apple Bloom at a vanity, doing her hair up with her pink bow.

"Sweetie Belle!" Apple Bloom exclaimed. "Wut are y'all doin' over at mah house so early in the mornin'?"

Sweetie Belle, still out of breath, gestured to her throat and made a gulping motion.

"Y'all want a drink? Why didn't ya jus' say so?"

Sweetie Belle tried to say something, only for a dehydrated cough to come out instead.

"Point taken." Apple Bloom said, getting up. Apple Bloom had Sweetie Belle accompany her to the dining table and poured some orange juice for them. After the refreshingly cool citrus made her throat all nice and damp again, Sweetie Belle cleared her throat and slammed her cup down.

"So, wut's got y'all so worked up?" Apple Bloom asked. "Yer not even usually up til like, another hour."

Sweetie Belle held up the bottle. "It's this."

"'Kay. Wut's this?"

"Some kind of poison, I guess." Sweetie Belle rubbed the back of her head. "At least, that's what Rarity called it. Rainbow Dash drank some of it, so they went to the hospital."

"Oh no!"

"She'll be fine. I got her before she drank a whole lot of it. But Rarity's been acting really weird whenever I pick it up. I mean, she almost acts like it's something she doesn't want me to have."

"Well, ya should put it back wherever y'all found out, then!" Apple Bloom said. "It's not right to take somethin' of yer sister's without asking!"

"I know, but ..."

"Besides, wut could be so bad about milk, anyway?" Apple Bloom asked, taking a sip of her orange juice.

"Wait, milk?" Sweetie asked.

"Eeyup. That right there? As far as Ah can see, it's just a regular bottle of plain-jane old milk. It's nothing to get mad over. Ah mean, we all drink milk, don't we?"

"Sorry it took so long, y'all." Applejack said, the door squeaking as she entered. "A few of them weeds jus' wouldn't quit. Ah took so long and still couldn't git 'em all."

"Oh!" Apple Bloom put her cup down and put her hands together. "Can Ah do it, sis? Can Ah? Ah haven't been helpin' around wit' tha chores as much as Ah should have been lately ..."

Applejack considered it. She went to Apple Bloom and patted her shoulder. "Shore."

Apple Bloom's eyes shimmered. "Ya mean it? For serious?"

"Shore. Y'all are a big girl now, Bloom. Y'all can do chores by yourself. Go on." Apple Bloom ran out of the house to do the chores while Applejack took her seat by Sweetie Belle.

"So," Applejack asked, pouring her own cup of juice, "wut seems to the tha' problem, sugarcube?"

Sweetie Belle held up the bottle. "Rarity's been keeping this in her fridge. Rainbow Dash drank it today, and Rarity wasn't upset about it, but she was upset that I found it in the fridge yesterday. What does it mean?"

"Wait ..." Applejack narrowed her eyes at the bottle. "Lemme see that ..." She took the bottle from Sweetie Belle and scrutinized it. She popped the lid off and smelled it.

"That two-timin' … Ah thought she stopped this."

"What? What is it? Did Rarity do something wrong!?" Sweetie Belle screamed.

Applejack declined to answer. "Can Ah hold on to this? Ah'll bring it to Rarity right quick later."

"Okay … I guess." Sweetie Belle muttered. Rarity would probably be upset to learn that Sweetie had stolen the bottle and given it to Applejack, but at least this way, Applejack could hopefully talk Rarity down from being too angry with Sweetie Belle.

"Good, good." Applejack muttered, setting the bottle aside. She stared off in the distance like she was having an out-of-body experience.

"Uh, Applejack? Are you okay?"

"Hmm? Oh, Ah'm fine. Say, y'all need anything else before ya go?"

"Um, yes, actually." Sweetie Belle put her hands together and turned away bashfully.

"Wut it is? C'mon, Sweetie Belle. How am Ah supposed tah help ya if y'all don't tell me wut's wrong?"

Sweetie Belle took in a deep breath.

"Applejack, how do I … make … girls like me?"

Applejack raised her eyebrow. "Uh, ya be nice and polite to them?"

"No, I mean … let's say there's a specific girl. And let's say I want to make her … really like me. How do I do that?"

Applejack stared blankly before realizing what Sweetie Belle meant. "Gosh, Sweetie Belle, Ah don't really think Ah'm the one to talk to about that sort of thing. Maybe ya should ask Twilight?"

"Okay." Sweetie Belle finished her orange juice and left the table. "Thanks." She left the house.

Applejack smiled, content that her advice was enough to set Sweetie Belle on the right path. That smile quickly faded when she looked at the bottle. She picked it up and squeezed it. It got to the point where she squeezed it so hard, the bottle crumpled, the lid was forced off from the pressure, and the milk inside splattered all over the bottle's sides and her hands. Applejack dropped the bottle and shook her hand like the liquid was a flesh-rending acid. After collecting herself and realizing her skin was fine, Applejack scowled, picking up the bottle. She forced the lid back onto the crushed container.

She would be having a talk with Rarity, oh yes …

"RARITY BELLE!"

Rarity, folding laundry at her table, merely turned to the door to watch Applejack storm inside her house with only the barest hint of curiosity. Applejack stood in the doorway, huffing and fuming like a bull ready to charge.

Rarity continued folding.

"Yes, Applejack ..." Rarity said, multi-tasking. "You know, it's funny, I don't think I've ever learned your last name. I suppose it might as well be "Apple," wouldn't it? Let's try this again. Yes, Applejack Apple?"

"Explain this." Applejack said, holding up the bottle for Rarity. Rarity gave it a disaffected look like a parent too tired to really involve themselves in whatever their child was trying to show them.

"It's a bottle, but how it got crumpled like that … I have no idea." Rarity answered sharply, folding some pants legs over. "Applejack." She added as a one-word accusation of Applejack being the one to crush the bottle.

"Y'all told me and the rest of the girls y'all would stop this!"

"Stop what?"

"Don't play dumb wit' me, Rarity!"

Applejack made a determined frown.

"You've been breastfeedin' Rainbow Dash again, haven't you?"

"Oh, really?" Rarity's voice was airy, not taking this as seriously as Applejack would like her to. "What evidence do you have to support this theory?"

Applejack leveled the bottle at her. "Sweetie Belle brought this around to mah barn'. She said you were keeping it in your fridge and that Rainbow Dash drank some this mornin'! She said you were takin' Dash to the hospital, but fer sum reason, Ah got a feeling that ain't what happened."

Rarity happily sighed like a woman pining for her prince. "It is so nice to be in touch with our feelings, isn't it?"

"Knock it off, Rarity! We both know wut's really goin' on, so why don't you just admit the truth?"

"And implicate myself?" Rarity asked. "No thank you. Applejack …" Rarity threw down the shirt in her hand. "All you can prove is that Sweetie Belle took the bottle from my fridge. Anything else is, well, speculation! Certainly not enough to convince a jury, let alone our friends."

"Not true! Ah can git Shining Armor to do his fancy finger-printin' thang and prove Rainbow Dash's fingers were on it?"

Rarity turned to Applejack, smiling deviously.

"And what will that prove?"

Applejack faltered. Yes, she could get it to prove Rainbow Dash's hands on were on the bottle, and probably Rarity's as well, but that wouldn't prove anything. There was nothing to say Rainbow Dash didn't simply drink the original contents of the bottle and then the milk was added in later.

"And ..." Applejack stammered. "And Ah can prove that there's milk in the bottle?"

Rarity bent over, placing her elbows on the table and holding her head up with her hands. "To what end?"

"To tha' end of gettin' Shining Armor tah arrest y'all for feeding Rainbow Dash!"

Rarity rolled her eyes. "Applejack, breastfeeding is not a criminal offense. Well, I suppose that's not entirely true. Some places will put you under arrest if you breastfeed in public for public indecency – now that's a criminal charge. And besides that, you have nothing to prove I'm doing as you say. All you have is a bottle, fingerprints, and Sweetie Belle's word. Hardly enough to convince anyone, save perhaps Shining Armor."

Rarity folded a shirt. "Don't forget Sweetie Belle's birthday is coming up."

"Yeah, Ah know."

Applejack, seeing she wasn't going to get a straight answer out of Rarity, turned to leave.

"Oh, and Applejack? If Shining Armor or his brutes come to my house, I will file for police harassment."

Applejack stopped to look back at Rarity, but she was already back to folding laundry and humming pleasantly. Applejack sighed and walked into the kitchen.

Applejack held the bottle up. Shaking her head, she figured she may as well give it back and placed it on Rarity's kitchen counter before leaving.

Hearing the bell of the front entrance ring, Rarity dropped the article of laundry she was holding and peeked into the kitchen. After confirming Applejack was gone, she walked up to the bottle and grabbed it.

She sighed. The bottle had been grabbed, stolen, beaten and drained to a quarter of its contents. Muttering about getting a new bottle, she uncorked the lid and poured its contents down the sink. It might have still been safe for consumption, but better safe than sorry. Besides …

She could always make more.

After draining the bottle and tossing in the trash, Rarity went up to the bedroom. Locking the door, she went to her dresser and got on her knees to pull out the lowest drawer. She rummaged through it, feeling what was inside before she felt the familiar touch of what she was looking for. Shoving everything else – things like spools of fabric, sewing needles, her sleeping mask – aside, Rarity pulled out a piece of papyrus. As well as a wooden mortar and pestle, a wood bowl, and glass vials full of herbs, plant trimmings and petals.

Lying everything out on her dresser, Rarity got to work. First, she placed the papyrus down and unfolded it, revealing hidden sections on the inside full of instructions almost like … a recipe.

"Tear these petals to appropriate size, stir these ..." Rarity muttered as she went about following the instructions. She put some of the plants into the pestle and crushed them, then left to the kitchen to boil some water. Getting that done, she returned, pouring the water into the bowl and then mixing the plants into it. A few minutes later, the plants had soaked themselves into nothing more than tiny pieces, and the water was swampy green color. Taking a different mix of the plants, Rarity ground them up as well and dumped them into the green solution. She stirred them constantly for the next several minutes, until they started absorbing the water. Once that was done, she took the pestle and ground them again, eventually resulting in a fine, white powder that resembled salt.

Now done, Rarity put her hands on the counter. It would be awhile before Rainbow Dash returned from her job at the weather factory, but she would be so happy to see that Rarity had made a fresh batch of the powder.

The powder … the powder was something she developed, with the help of their good friend Zecora, who was a master with herbs. While under the influence of the Pipe Slime, Rarity grew to love, love, love the feeling of being nursed ...of Rainbow Dash's hungry lips biting down on her generous breasts … of white poisons flowing out of her bosom like a dam being burst. She loved it. She needed it.

So badly. And when the Pipe Slime went away, and she stopped producing … she stopped having Rainbow Dash's private drink all lined up and ready to go … it was too much for Rarity. She had to have it back. So she went to Zecora's, did some studies, got the tribal woman's help, and developed this recipe. This recipe for powder, which, with one spoonful taken orally, would cause her to produce again, just like she did before the Slime's destruction.

Rarity thought about what she said to Sweetie Belle. It was true. She was keeping the "white poison" for a friend. Specifically Rainbow Dash. It was the milk from her breasts she was able to produce with her powder, kept in a refrigerated bottle for those unfortunate times when Rainbow Dash wanted Rarity's milk and Rarity wasn't around to provide it personally.

Looking at the powder, Rarity sighed. Something was wrong with her, and she knew it. Silver Lens knew it, too. Her friends would know, too, if it ever got out she had this miracle powder. That was why she was so uncooperative to Silver Lens and two-faced with Applejack.

She didn't want to admit it.

When Rainbow Dash returned from work, Rarity's first and only idea was to take her along for a trip to the spa. Rainbow Dash tried to complain about that was "too girly" for her, but Rarity was having none of it and forcibly dragged her out of the house. Along the way, they bumped into Applejack, Apple Bloom, Twilight Sparkle, and Sweetie Belle.

"Applejack! Twilight! Fancy running into you." Rarity said, tilting her brow to show her suspicion.

"I was just taking Sweetie Belle home." Applejack said. "Ran into Twi on the way, so Ah brought her along. That's not a crime, is it?"

"I suppose not." Rarity said. "Have you and Twilight talked about anything?"

"Yes, actually." Twilight said. "I've been thinking … it's almost time for … the ten-year anniversary of when the Pipe Slime infected you and Rainbow Dash."

Rarity much preferred thinking of it as the anniversary of her relationship with Rainbow Dash, but that was private, so she motioned for Twilight to continue.

"When we went to the cave in the Everfree Forest, you said something about Celestia making the Pipe Slime." Twilight said. "I didn't think about it at the time, since you were, you know, infected and crazy. But with the anniversary coming up, I've been thinking about it a lot and ...I want to ask the Princess about it."

"Good for you." Rarity said. "Let me know if you find anything interesting. Now, if you'll excuse me, I was on my way to the spa."

Applejack glared at Rarity as she and Raibnow Dash walked by. "Don't forget to meet up wit' tha rest of the girls on the anniversary."

"I won't, provided you don't forget Sweetie Belle's birthday."

"Oh my gosh!" Apple Bloom clasped her cheeks in surprise. "That is comin' up, isn't it? Sis!" Apple Bloom grabbed Applejack's hand and pulled her away. "Ah still need tah git a present fer her!"

Twilight shook her head, smiling. "Ah, still a little kid at heart. Right, Rarity? Rarity?" Twilight looked around to see Rarity and Rainbow Dash were gone. "I guess it's just you and me now, Sweetie Belle."

Sweetie Belle was gone, probably returning to her house on her own. Twilight was frustrated. Apparently nobody wanted to hang out with her. "Hmph."

Reaching the spa, Rarity quickly paid for a soak. She couldn't wait to get into the water and relax with Rainbow Dash. They disrobed, wrapped towels around their hair, and went into the hot tub, sitting next to each other in the soothingly warm water.

"Aah ..." Rarity sighed, wrapping an arm around Rainbow Dash's shoulder. "Just what the doctor ordered, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I guess it is." Rainbow Dash closed her eyes and leaned on Rarity, gently resting her arms across Rarity's chest and shoulders. "Hey ..." Rainbow Dash dug her arm into Rarity's cleavage, noticing something off about it.

"What is up with your ..." Rainbow Dash brought her hand under the water and felt Rarity's breast. Dash cooed. "Oooh! You made some fresh powder! You're the best."

Rainbow Dash curled her fingers around Rarity's head and gave her a kiss on the lips. They simply laid there with smiles on, before Rainbow Dash dived forward and attempted to put her mouth on Rarity's chest.

"No, no." Rarity placed her hands on the sides of Rainbow's face and lifted her head up, away from the source. "As lovely as it would be to try doing it underwater, this is a family establishment, Rainbow Dash. You can wait until we get home, can't you?"

Rainbow Dash nodded. She laid back against the tile and closed her eyes, simply taking in the water. Rarity did the same. At least, until a shadow fell over her, looming over like some vast, impatient decrepit vulture.

"Whoever you are, go away." Rarity said, not bothering to open her eyes. "You're blocking my light."

"Cute, Miss Belle." A haughty voice answered. "I am an elected official and will not be spoken to that way."

Rarity opened her eyes. The woman rudely casting her shadow on the hot tub was an old woman, with blonde hair tied back in a ponytail, wearing a purple business suit. She held a pen and clipboard.

"What do you want?" Rarity asked.

"My name is Inspector Harshwhinny." The woman said. "I have been sent to ask you a few questions."

"Let me save you some time and answer all of them at once." Rarity said. "Rainbow Dash?"

Rainbow Dash flicked her hand at Harshwhinny. "Buzz off."

"I don't think you understand who I am." Harshwhinny said. "Disrespecting me is likely to cost you."

"I'll take my chances."

"Nevertheless, I cannot leave until I have asked and answered these following questions." Harshwhinny said.

Rarity sighed. "Very well. If it will expedite you leaving us to our soak, then I suppose I'll answer them."

"Question one." Harshwhinny said. "We've gone over our bills over the last few months, and we've noticed a trend of Rainbow Dash paying steadily less on her house mortgage. Why is that, we wonder?"

Rarity and Rainbow Dash looked at each other, both of them surprised. They knew someone at the company might notice Rainbow Dash paying less, but they didn't think there would be questions about it. They were planning on having Rainbow Dash pack up and move in to Rarity's home soon. She was effectively living there for ten years, only sometimes returning to her old house for a weeks or months to keep the others from knowing. Might as well have her move in and make it official.

"I don't know anything about that." Rarity lied. "Probably just Rainbow Dash being irresponsible again. Next question?"

"Hmm." Harshwhinny jotted something on her clipboard. "Question two. Are you in a relationship with Rainbow Dash?"

Rarity got suspicious. "No. No, why?"

"Hmm." Harshwhinny wrote something down again. "Final question ..."

Harshwhinny put her clipboard aside.

"Are you breastfeeding Rainbow Dash?"

Rarity lost it. She jumped out from the tub and went at Harshwhinny. "Who sent you? Was it Applejack? Maybe Shining Armor? Celestia forbid that they trust me when I tell them no!"

"Answer the question, Miss Belle."

"No, Miss Harshwhinny, I am not feeding Rainbow Dash." Rarity said.

"Inspector Harshwhinny."

Rarity crossed her arms, sinking back into the hot tub. "Well, either way, I'm not feeding her, we're not in a relationship, and you can just crawl back into your cubicle where you belong."

Harshwhinny narrowed her eyes.

"This isn't over, Miss Belle."

""Isn't over?" Are you threatening me, MISS Harshwhinny? I don't respond well to being threatened."

"Merely informing you of the facts, dear." Harshwhinny answered before leaving.

Rarity snarled. Rainbow Dash came over to comfort her. "Hey. Hey, it's okay. They still can't prove anything yet. Just sit in the tub and relax." Rarity exhaled and did as Rainbow Dash.

"That's it." Dash encouraged. "Just sit back and let the water wash over you …" Rainbow Dash scooped up some water in her hand and drizzled it over Rarity. "There. Isn't that better?"

Rarity nodded, smiling before a frown overtook her face. Between Dash's words and the soothing water, she had experienced a let-down reflect, with her milk leaking out into the water.

"Oh." Dash groaned.

"Let's … see if we can't clean that up ourselves before staff arrives, shall we, darling?"

Twilight paced nervously back and forth in the foyer of her house. She was worried over how Celestia might react to the letter she sent her. Would she be mad? Upset? Sad? Embarrassed and humiliated?

Spike stood by her side, waiting for the Princess' reply. Spike was a half-dragon, magically enchanted to send and receive letters by his dragon breath.

"Twilight, don't worry! I'm sure the Princess will understand."

"Will she, Spike? WILL SHE?"

Twilight, when she panicked about possibly displeasing the Princess, was known for being able to rationalize all sorts of crazy things that the Princess would do as a punishment to her. Despite that the Princess had never shown any sign of ever wanting to punish her when she could talk to her instead and smooth things out.

A burst of flame came out from Spike in a burp. The fire quickly formed into a letter, which Twilight snatched out of the air before Spike could say anything. Twilight opened it and read it.

Twilight was expecting the Princess to say many things … experience almost any emotion when she heard Twilight had encountered a living mistake from her youth. Twilight imagined her being mad at it, embarrassed by it, enraged by it.

Being amused by it was not something Twilight was expecting.

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

I would be more than happy for you to come over and discuss the origins of the Pipe Slime. I remember that day well. It caused quite a commotion amongst my babysitters! I'll never forget the looks on their face. It was hilarious! Perhaps I should have a commission painted to immortalize them for future generations to laugh at.

"Princess Celestia ...had babysitters?" Twilight was mystified. "She had a childhood?"

"Oh, yeah. Who know that the Princess had a regular childhood just like the rest of us?" Spike said dryly.

"Knock off it, Spike." Twilight snapped, rolling up the letter and placing it aside. "Go get ready to visit Canterlot."

Arriving by chariot to Celestia's castle, Twilight was hesitant to go inside. Spike nudged her shoulder and encouraged her inside. After finally getting her to enter through the doors, Twilight was immediately distracted by a woman with silvery hair running past them out the doors.

"Hey ..." Twilight said, noticing the blur. "I think I know her ..."

"Uph Uph Uph!" Spike scolded, grabbing Twilight's arm and scooting her across the hall. "It can wait until after we see the Princess." Spike continued to drag her across the hall, heading straight for the throne room. After passing several doors, they were stopped by a guard.

"Excuse me?" The guard said, raising hand at them. "Where are you two going?"

"To see the Princess." Spike answered. "Why?"

The guard bowed. He pointed his spear the door he was guarding. "Princess Celestia is awaiting her student Twilight Sparkle in there. She's had the chefs make tea and cake for you."

Twilight looked to Spike. "Tea and cake?"

Spike shrugged. "I don't know, but you go on ahead." Spike smacked her back, pushing her forward. He pointed at his chest. "I'm going to visit Doughnut Joe's." Twilight attempted to scold him for ditching her, but Spike scurried off.

Twilight sighed. She went inside the room. It was painted a floral white pattern. There was a table with three seats, cake, a kettle, and tiny plates. Princess Celestia herself was sitting down, sipping a teacup.

"Ah, Twilight Sparkle." Celestia said, pleased. "Come in. Sit down. Where's Spike?"

"He left. To go to Doughnut Joe's." Twilight couldn't keep her irritation with Spike from showing in her voice.

"Oh, what a shame. I had the chefs make enough cake for all three of us. Oh well. More for us! I suppose I could understand. Joe's doughnuts are quite good, aren't they? Twilight Sparkle, why are you still standing there? Sit!" Celestia gestured to the chair.

Twilight nodded, scraping a chair and sat down. Celestia cut a piece of cake out for her. With Celestia's urging, Twilight cut into the cake and took a bite. Celestia took a sip of her tea before serving herself a slice. Celestia greedily ate her slice all the way through while Twilight merely took nibbles.

"Now ..." Celestia put the fork down. "I believe you had something to ask me? About the Pipe Slime?"

Twilight uneasily put her fork down. "Yes."

Celestia sighed like she was remembering the hijinks of her youth. "I remember him. Or it. I was never sure. What of him?"

"Well ..." Twilight stirred her fork into her cake. "Shining Armor did tell you Rarity encountering it … him?"

"Oh, yes. Shining Armor made it sound like it was quite the situation, but he had worked everything out and fixed it. I suspect he embellished a few things, as Cadence walked in and said "that's not how that happened!" Hmm." Celestia chuckled. "I would be happy to hear your account of events, my faithful student. What happened?"

"Well, uh … Rarity and Rainbow Dash were infected by it first, a few weeks beforehand ..."

"Aah!" Celestia clapped her hands. "What fun!"

"Fun?" Twilight scoffed. She turned away from the Princess, fiddling with her fingers.

"Twilight?" Celestia asked. "Is something wrong?"

Twilight turned back to her. "Princess, while Rarity was infected, she said you made the Pipe Slime. Is it that true?"

"From a certain point of view." Celestia answered. "I didn't make it, I summoned it from a book."

"A book?"

"Yes. You see, Twilight, when I was growing up, I was very lonely. I had Luna to play with, but the only others around were stewards and sitters meant to attend Equestria's future rulers. One day, I went to the library and dug through the books for something to help easy the loneliness my sister and I had." Celestia tilted her gaze, lost in thought."

"I found the book with instructions for summoning the Pipe Slime, with the instructions saying it was "excellent for companionship." I was too young and naive at the time to realize what it really meant by "companionship," so I set about summoning it to by mine and Luna's friend. The sitters found me while I was trying to communicate with it. They scooped me into their arms and cast a spell to make it disappear. They scolded me for it, and live went on as normal. I never imagined it was out in the Everfree Forest, just sitting there for all these years!"

Twilight's jaw dropped. If what Celestia said was accurate, then the Pipe Slime even predated Nightmare by some measure of years! Twilight didn't know the exact number, as she didn't know how old Celestia and Luna were they officially took the throne.

"Good times." Celestia reminisced. "Was your friends' time with the Pipe Slime as fun for you as it was for me?"

Twilight gawked, unbelieving Celestia could be so … so callous about this. Callous and uncaring, not understanding just what the Slime did to Rarity – wait. That was it. She simply didn't understand. Her questions were not born of a malicious disregard for Rarity's well-being, but of a blissful ignorance of what the Pipe Slime did.

"Princess Celestia." Twilight said, getting up from her chair. She walked over to the Princess. "I understand it seemed like fun when you were a kid, and you probably think it was for Rarity and the rest of us all."

"It wasn't. It was terrible for all of us. Rarity, our friend, turned against as this slime-spewing, arrogant dominatrix. Did you realize how much that hurt? It was like when Discord got loose, only so much worse, because she made us …" Twilight suffered a crack in her voice. "Touch each other! You know how much I love books. So believe me when I say, for the good of everyone, before some other villain gets their hands on it ..."

In a daring move that could have got arrested for treason, Twilight grabbed Celestia's shoulders.

"You have to burn that book."

Celestia sat there in shock. Twilight Sparkle, librarian and love of books all of shapes and sizes, advocating the burning of a precious tome? It hit Celestia just hard Twilight was taking all this, and how she was being so coldly causal about it …."

Celestia, her upbeat demeanor faded, grabbed Twilight's hand in a comforting way. "I understand. Come." Celestia stood up and walked out of the room. Twilight followed closely behind her.

Celestia led Twilight to the palace library, where a guard awaited them. The guard bowed and let them through. Celestia continued walking on to a far and distant corner wing of the library.

"Here …" Celestia said. "Wait here, my faithful student." Celestia went to a shelf and trailed her finger along the covers of each book, reading their titles under her breath. She went end-to-end before grimacing.

"Princess?"

Not heeding Twilight's call, Celestia dashed madly to the entrance. She returned to Twilight with a forlorn grimace.

"Princess?" Twilight asked again.

"Your fears were justified, my faithful student, but it appears it was too little, too late." Celestia walked back to the shelf and pointed her finger at an empty space where a book should have been, but wasn't it. "The guard said a silver-haired woman convinced him to let her take the book, seeing as I haven't touched it in so long."

Twilight gasped. No! But that means ..." If only Spike had let her talk to the silver-haired woman they saw at the entrance! They might be one and the same, and Twilight would have a better idea of who to look for!

Celestia nodded.

"Yes. The book is gone."

Author's Notes:

For a time, I considered postponing publishing this to work on future chapters and instead releasing a fully-completed story all at once so readers aren't left hanging, but I figured the critiques I could get on one chapter were more valuable when future chapters aren't set in stone. I have a lot of ideas, but they need refining, so have this to tide you over in the meantime.

Make sure to like and more importantly, comment, if you liked it!