They will never love you

They will never accept you

“Ha! Tell it to someone who cares.”

You have no friends

You deserve no friends

“What about me makes you think I’m going to listen to what a bunch of bodiless whispers have to say? Please. Whisper all you like, it just pleases me to know that someone’s paying attention to me!”

You betrayed them

You cannot be a friend

“I thought I made it clear that I wasn’t listening to you.”

You love them

But they hate you

It will always be this way

“Oh, don’t even try it. I know all the tricks, my dears. What, do you think you can drive me insane this way? Think you can break me? Hahahaha! If a thousand years in stone couldn’t do it why do you think you can?”

You will always be alone

“Tell me something I don’t know already, why don’t you?”

You had friends and you threw them away

You lost your one and only chance

You will never have friends again

“…tell me something I don’t already know.”

It’s not fair

It’s not fair that they should be happy and you should never be

“Are you going to try to convince the Lord of Chaos that life should be fair? Really? How stupid do you think I am?”

They think you’re evil

You could show them what true evil really is

“I could also show them what true fashion really is. Imagine it! The bright lights, the cameras… me on the runway in a glorious ensemble… paparazzi chasing me everywhere…”

You cannot have both friends and magic

Twilight lied to you

Friendship isn’t magic

Not for you

“All right, you know what? I’ve had it with you. You have no bodies, you have no energy. You’re parasites, and you can’t accomplish anything with your miserable existence other than to try to drag it out as long as possible by stealing life from others. I have no friends? You have no bodies! You can’t eat! Sleep! Dream! Fly! Dance! Have sex! You can’t feel anything! And yet you think you can trick me into letting you in just by telling me what I’ve known my whole life? This isn’t news, dear Shadows.”

You’re alone

You placed yourself in exile to save them from yourself and they don’t even respect your decision

They berate you and demand you return home as if you are a child

They don’t respect you

“And who does? I work very hard at not being respected. You know, the whole ‘eldritch abomination’ thing you guys have going on? Not my style. I don’t like being an eldritch abomination. I like being a friendly, approachable Lord of Chaos.”

And yet no one will approach you willingly

And yet no one will be your friend

“Fluttershy.”

You hurt her

You betrayed her

She fears you now

Your friendship is over

“That’s not what her letters say.”

She lies

They want to control you

To use you

“Oh, so I should believe you instead. That’s a brilliant idea! I don’t want to be controlled by Celestia or dragged around by the promise of a friendship I never actually get, so I’m going to let the Cold Ones in and give over my magic, my body and my soul to entities who want to eat my planet. What magnificently good ideas you guys have!”

We can give you peace

We can heal you

End your loneliness

“You complete and utter idiots. Do you think I don’t know your name? APEP! Eater of Suns! The Corruptor! The Devourer! I remember when you whispered to Loki and made him think what a wonderful idea it might be to off his cousin for being more loved than he was. I remember how you whispered to Set in the darkness when he stood guard over his lover, night after night for hundreds of years, until he broke, and fell, and then he was yours. I remember every other chaos avatar you corrupted. And I remember seeing what you did to Luna, and what she paid for it. The only way you would give me peace is the peace of the grave. Don’t lie to me and think I’ll fall for it.”

You will never have peace any other way

You will always be alone

“Why do you keep telling me things I’ve known for two millennia as if they’re supposed to shock me?”

You can never go home

You’ve angered them

If you return you will have to fight them

Weakness softness friendship blocking you from your birthright

Your world

“Yes, well. I knew what I was getting into when I did it.”

Tirek used you

Celestia used you

Everyone uses you

“Shut up. I’d actually like to get to sleep sometime tonight.”

They will never love you

“…I know. But I love them. And that’s going to have to be enough.”

It isn’t fair

“Fairness and chaos hardly go hand in hand. I never expected life to be fair.”

You are martyring yourself for creatures who despise you

“And the best alternative you have to offer me is that I let you things eat my mind and turn me into a puppet. Thanks but no thanks.”

You have no hope

You have nothing to live for

You cannot have chaos and friendship both

You don’t want to live without chaos and friendship both

“…true but irrelevant. I’m going to live just to spite you.”

There is nothing for you anymore

“Wrong! There’s fighting with you! I’m Discord! I’m conflict and disharmony incarnate, and you idiots keep trying to sweet-talk me into succumbing to you, and that just makes me stronger! Don’t you understand? I live for conflict! And if you’re going to keep presenting me a challenge, I’m just going to have to keep living and keep refusing every offer you make, just to prove I’m stronger than you. Because I am stronger than you. Also I have a much more attractive dress sense. Purple and black? Bleah!”

…

“Ha! Nothing to say to that, huh? Plainly I win!”

…

“Haha, I showed you! Chased you right off this moon! That’s right, go running with your tails tucked down! You can’t beat me!”

…

“Luna was weak, but I’m not. You can’t tell me anything about myself that I don’t already know, and I know you have nothing you can offer me. Come on! Try it! Try to talk me into something! Make bigger fools of yourselves than you already are!”

…

“Don’t even want to try, huh? Well, that’s fine. I’ll just enjoy the peace and quiet, then! And the sweet, sweet joy of knowing how thoroughly I beat you.”

…

“Cowards.”

…

“Can’t even fight for what you want properly, can you?”

…

“I kinda wish you’d come back, though. Fighting you was fun.”

…

“It’s not like I have much else to do around here…”

…

“Come on, don’t you have any more sadistic taunts for me? Don’t you want to tell me how miserable my life is and how I’ll always be alone and all of that nonsense?”

…

“Well, fine then. I don’t need you. I can make my own entertainment.”

…

“It’s so quiet up here…”

…

“So dull.”

…

“Wish something would happen.”

…

“Ha, my clever reverse psychology plan worked! I told the Dark Ones that I was enjoying fighting with them, so they stopped and left me alone! I’m a genius!”

…

“Come back and fight me, damn you!”

…

“I’m so tired of being alone…”

You will always be alone

“Hah! I knew I could get you to come back!”

You are so lonely, you solicit your enemies to taunt you so you will have something besides yourself to speak to

Let us in

You will never be alone again

“Still not that stupid, pals.”

Let us in

“I know your name.”

Let us in

“I’m stronger than you.”

Let us in

“Once upon a time someone loved me. Maybe it will never happen again. But it could. It might. In a world of randomness and chaotic occurrences, how could I rule out the possibility? Someday someone might love me again. Someday.”

Let us in

“But you know, you guys can just keep trying to persuade me. Because I absolutely am likely to believe that the certainty of ego annihilation is better than the possibility of someday someone loving me for who I am.”

No one will ever love you

“Probably. But I can’t rule it out.”

You have no hope

“You don’t even know what hope is. So you don’t actually know whether I have it or not. And I believe six impossible things before breakfast, so you can’t kill my hope by telling me how completely improbable it is.”

No one will ever love you

“Even if they never will. I’ll go to my grave as myself, not the twisted parody you’d make of me.”

You have no self

Chaos changes constantly

You will be someone else before long

“… yeah, well. At least I’ll know I’m not you.”

You cannot escape from yourself

You will never be loved because you will always be you, and what you are is change, and who can love a thing that cannot be constant?

It is your nature to be something else

Whatever you vow now, someday you will be someone different

“And that’s supposed to make me want to accelerate the process?”

Join us and you will no longer care

“Because I’ll be dead.”

Luna is not dead

“No one’s going to use the Elements of Harmony to purify me. They’d just kill me with them.”

They will do that anyway if you return

Return in strength, with allies

Protect yourself

“I’m not listening to you.”

You will die alone

You will never be loved

Never be cared for

Never have a friend

“Not listening.”

Join us and it will no longer hurt

You will no longer care

You won’t be alone

“No.”

Join us

“NO! I won’t fall for it again! I won’t let some third rate wisp of dark power without even a personality outside of ‘ooh, we’re evil and scary’ take me over! Not after Tirek… not after I…”

You gave in

You know you will give in again someday

“So what, it might as well be now?”

Give in now

Join us

End your pain

“No.”

Why fight it

You know this is your destiny

You know you will always betray anything you love

“…but I don’t have to do it today.”

But you will

“But not today.”

But you know that you will

“… yes. I know that I will. Someday.”

Then join us

“But ‘someday’ isn’t today. And as long as it amuses me to fight you, and as long as I draw strength from the idea that I’m protecting them, and as long as it matters to me that I care about them regardless of what they feel for me, someday will never be today.”

They won’t love you for it

“Don’t care. I am who I am. And until I change I’ll always be who I am. And no matter who I change into I’ll never be you, because I’ll never be a puppet. Tirek used me but he didn’t control me. When I… when I turn evil again… someday… when I can’t bear it anymore… I still won’t let you in. I’ll be my own evil, not yours. Because it is just that important to me to spite you.”

…

“Don’t come back, this time. I don’t need you anymore.”

We will be waiting

You will join us

Someday