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Power Ponies Battle The Mafia

by AuTiSm

Chapter 1: Italian Pride


Italian Pride

Celestia surveyed the chaotic aftermath of the strange duel. First a 'human' in what appeared to be a tuxedo, then a gruff actor with a Scottish accent. She was as confused as she was angry, and she was really angry.

"Sister..." She heard from behind her, her head darted to look at the approaching figure. It was her sister, who looked depressed.

"Come here Luna..." Said Celestia, pulling Luna into a tight hug of sisterly love. They shared tears and began to comfort each other in a moment that would warm the hearts of-

"Suck it up you whiny little shits." Said Tony, coming out of hiding. He held firmly onto his pistol and pointed it at the cum colored princess's head. "I'll blow your fuckin' brains out and give them to vultures and eat popcorn while watching them devour your fuckin' entrails."

With that, Celestia looked mentally scared, before shaking the thought out of her head. "You monster! You damaged our home and then make threats against us! Prepare to pay the price..." She said, charging up what appeared to be a bolt of magic or some voodoo magic shit Tony didn't understand. Before she could fire her magic beam thingy, a loud 'BEEP' echoed outside, and a smirk traced it's way across Tony's face.

"Guess we'll have to tango later. Bye ladies!" He said sarcastically, running towards a window. When he reached the window he prepared to jump out, but suddenly, a surge of pain filled his body, causing him to tremble. "What the fuck?!" He yelled loudly, looking at the princess's smug grins as they approached him.

"See, you can't get away with attacking Equestria, fool!" Said Princess Semen, standing menacingly above Tony's incapacitated body.

Suddenly, out of fucking nowhere, Theodore Frickin' Roosevelt curb stomped her face, causing blood to leak out on the floor.

Roosevelt looked down at Tony and smirked. "You got beaten by fucking horses? Wow. You suck." After that, Teddy jumped out the window and made a perfect soft landing.

Tony flipped him off, even though he knew Teddy couldn't see it. His attention turned over to the blue princess who was whining like some weird mentally challenged baby. Suddenly, the doors at the other side of the room swung open, and the New York mafia he was in charge of bursted inside, Tommy-guns at the ready.

"How did you get here?" Tony asked them from across the room, yelling so he could be heard.

"Come here and I'll tell ya." Said Lenny, Tony's right hand man.

Tony approached and stared at Lenny for a few seconds, before pulling him into a friendly embrace and kissing him on the cheeks. And no, the kiss was not some friendly Italian kiss. He was full homo...

Anyway! Tony stood in front of his mob inspecting each one of them for some reason. Lenny broke the silence and said "We used a plot device. That's how we got here." He said, hinting towards the fact that this was written by some horrible writer.

All of a sudden, the windows shattered

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