Dan and Pinkie Take a Slice out of Life

by Justice3442

Chapter 1: Part 1 Pinkie Vs. Clothes: Chapter 1 Pinkie Vs. Getting Dressed

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Dan and Pinkie Take a Slice out of Life

Part 1 Pinkie Vs. Clothes

Chapter 1 Pinkie Vs. Getting Dressed


Author’s notes: Takes place shortly after Part Two of The Wheel and the Butterfly.



Pinkie’s sky-blue eyes shot open as a deafening buzzing sound went off in her ear. She bolted upright on the mattress she had been sleeping on mere moments ago. Pinkie looked around her surroundings in confusion as she clutched a white sheet to her pink pajama-clad human body with slender fingers and searched for the source of the noise.

Where the heck is that coming from?! Alright… uh… okay… furniture and throw pillow surroundings? Check. Still in fort ‘Dan Pie’.

“Merrow!” A mangy-looking grey cat called out from the center of the mattress. It stood up, stretched, and walked off towards the foosball table that served as the structure's entrance and exit.

Mr. Mumbles? Check. The gentleman who was kind enough to take me in …


“PINK GIRL, WOULD YOU SHUT OFF THE FLIPPIN’ ALARM ALREADY?!” An angry voice called out from under the covers.

Uh… Check!… But not so gentle… Pinkie smiled. Still, he was nice enough to let me stay he—



“Uh…” Pinkie quickly scanned her surroundings and determined the buzzing was coming from a rectangular black device that displayed a series of numbers sitting next to her. She reached down, picked it up and attempted to get the alarm to shut off.


Pinkie began violently shaking the device. “WOULD YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?! PONIES—Er—PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!” she screamed at the device.

The source of the angry voice suddenly threw off the covers and sat up. A man with short, messy, black hair and emerald-green eyes stared out at Pinkie in irate contempt. His cheeks, jawline, and chin were peppered with stubble, and a black soul patch sat under his lip. In addition to the angry scowl he was wearing, he wore a black t-shirt with the word ‘JERK’ printed on it in bold white letters.


Screaming at the device having failed her, Pinkie brought the device to her mouth and began gnawing on it in frustration.

The man reached over towards the device and pressed a button on it.


The device went silent.

Oooooh!” Pinkie uttered as she stared at the black buttons on top of the device. She looked at the man with a sheepish grin. “Sorry, Dan.”

Dan retracted his hand from the device as a thin line of saliva followed. He narrowed his eyes at his hand before lightly smacking his palm against Pinkie’s forehead.

Ouchie!” Pinkie cried as she recoiled slightly from Dan’s smack.

“Thanks, doofus,” Dan said sarcastically. “Now I have slobber on my hand.”

Pinkie frowned. “Sorry, Dan!”

Dan shook his head and began crawling for the exit of the furniture fort. “Do me a favor and keep all your gross liquids and oozes to yourself, capisce?” He crawled out from under the fort and stood up. A pair of white with red pinstriped boxers hunging off his waist. “Just because I said you can stay here doesn’t mean I want to be fluid buddies with you!”

A pink mop of curly hair emerged from under the foosball table quickly followed by the young woman attached to it. She stood up next to Dan who continued to glower up at her, Pinkie being a few inches taller than the short man.

“I said I was sorry!” Pinkie exclaimed as she threw her hands out to her sides.

Dan leaned in close, causing Pinkie to lean back slightly as the irate man raised an index finger and held it in front of her face. “Don’t be sorry, be better!” he snapped before he trudged off around the structure of furniture and pillows.

Pinkie sighed and shook her head. Well… at least I already have our symbolic victory of what I’m sure will be an awesome friendship, but Dan seems as mad as the day he met me!

Pinkie looked around the small, dingy-looking apartment room, a living area that attached to a kitchen area all in one room. Well, I guess I am intruding on his space a bit. I mean, there’s barely any room left in here after we erected the fort! Except for the kitchen area, of course…

Pinkie heard the sound of running water from the bathroom in the back quickly followed by Dan trudging out of the bathroom and immediately into his bedroom right across from it. He slammed the door causing Pinkie to wince slightly. Dan soon emerged having put on a pair of jeans and socks.

Pinkie mused that he may have changed his shirt, too. Dan and everyone else on this world seemed to have piles and piles of the same clothing. It was difficult to tell if he was wearing the same one or had swapped it out for another.

Oooo! Oooo! Are we heading out?!” Pinkie asked excitedly.

Dan cocked an eyebrow and pointed at himself. “I’m going to hole up in the fort and watch nature shows about stupid animals that walk too close to crocodile-infested waters.” He pointed at Pinkie. “You are hopefully going to behave yourself enough that I don’t break out a bottle of chloroform!”

“I am so on top of that!” Pinkie assured.

Dan rolled his eyes. “Excuse me if I don’t jump up and down with boundless joy.”

“You’re excused!” Pinkie said happily.

Dan grumbled irritably to himself as he trudged past Pinkie and crawled back into the fort. “I’ll also accept you flinging yourself into traffic just so long as I don’t need to take you to the hospital afterwards."

Uh… pass…” Pinkie replied. She leaned her head down and poked it through the entrance. “Should I get changed?”

“I don’t actually care,” Dan replied flatly as he sat down on his side of the mattress, TV remote in hand. He pushed a button on the remote and an old TV flickered to life across from him, the TV doubling as a support structure for the fort.

Hmmmm…” Pinkie picked at her pajama top and stared at it briefly. “I think I’ll get changed.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Whatever!” he snapped. “Go dig through my closet that you’ve annexed with your weird collection of stupid, girly clothes!”

Pinkie giggled. “Sounds like a plan!” she said before she stood back up.

“And don’t ask me to help dress you this time!” Dan shouted after her.



Dan sighed as he heard what was quickly becoming a familiar sound: His new roommate losing her footing and falling straight to the ground. The light from the TV flickered in front of him but he know he’d soon have to abandon its warm glow in favor of assisting the hapless girl getting dressed in the bathroom.

“Dan! Help!

Dan mumbled some unpleasant sounding incomprehensible words under his breath and crawled out of the fort. He stomped his way over to the bathroom and threw it open. “WHAT IS IT—GHAAAAAA!” Dan’s angry screaming quickly changed to a surprised cry as he covered his eyes.

Pinkie laid face down on the bathroom floor. Jeans covered her from her waist down to her feet, but Dan was given an excellent view of her bare back as Pinkie laid on the ground, her arms apparently tangled up in a bra she was attempting to put on.

“I’m stuUuUuUuUuUuck~!” Pinkie wailed.

“Okay… AND?!” Dan cried angrily as he continued to hold his hand over his face.

“I uh… need you to help unstuck me?” Pinkie explained.

Dan parted his fingers just enough to stare down at Pinkie with one irritated eye. “This is some sort of scheme to get me to touch you, isn’t it?”

“Why would I need to make up a scheme for you to do that when I can just hug you?!” Pinkie cried.

“That’s not what…” Dan sighed, removed the hand from his face, and leaned down. “Just keep your chest on the ground.”

Uh… okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie replied cheerfully.

Dan found a tiny bit of space in the narrow bathroom and leaned next to Pinkie. He went about untangling her arms from the pink bra straps. “How the heck did you get both arms stuck!?”

Erm… I’m just that good?” Pinkie said as her already slightly pink cheeks turned red.

Dan grumbled to himself as he freed one of Pinkie’s arms followed by the other the other. “There!”

“Hurray!” Pinkie cried. “…Could you actually close the clasp since you’re back there?”

Ah-HA!” Dan cried. “So this is a scheme to get me to touch you!”

Pinkie frowned. “No, I just… uh… don’t actually know what I’m doing…”

Dan frowned. “How can you not know how to clasp a bra?! I thought girls developed some sort of incredible finger dexterity that allowed them to put those things on one-handed or something!”

Erm well…” Pinkie pursed her lips, “I’ve only had fingers for a few days, so…”

Dan sighed and dragged a palm down his face. “Alright, fine…” he leaned down and attempted to connect the two ends of Pinkie’s bra strap.

Pinkie began squirming and giggling. “Hehehe, that tickles.”

“I order you to not enjoy this!” Dan said forcefully. “Otherwise I might ‘slip’ and ‘accidentally’ choke you to death with this godforsaken thing!” Dan paused and added, “Had my hand been free, I would have air quoted over the words ‘slip’ and ‘accidentally’.”

“…What are air quotes?”

“Seriously, I’m sure whatever wire is in this will make a more-than-adequate garrote.”

“…What’s a gar—”

Dan fiddled with the bra clasp some more in frustration. “JUST SHUT UP! This is somehow a lot harder than it looks!”

“…See!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“Seriously, choking you to death and disposing of your corpse seems easier to deal with than this thing presently.”

“…I’ll be good,” Pinkie replied in a worried tone.

Dan continued to struggle with the bra. After several minutes of attempting to close it, even going so far as to straddle Pinkie and sit on her lower back, his constant agitation at having to do so eventually caused even Pinkie to get frustrated.


“WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME?!” Pinkie shot back.


“Is there something wrong with being Dan?”


Kidding~!” Pinkie sang out.

Dan glowered down at Pinkie as he continued fiddling with the clasp. “…You do realize I’m still behind you with a potential choki—” Dan heard a small click, then sat up in satisfaction. “There!”

“Yay!” Pinkie exclaimed as she stood up. “Chest lumps contained!” she said as she motioned to the two large, soft orbs on her chest now snugly held in her frilly pink bra.

Dan rolled his eyes. “Remind me to get you a book on human anatomy or something…”

Pinkie looked down at her jeans, or rather the pink bow and fabric framed by her open zipper. She looked back up at Dan. “Can you help me zip up my pants?” she asked with a pensive grin.

There was an audible ‘Smack!’ as one of Dan’s palm collided with his forehead.


Dan sat and scratched his cat as she sat next to him. He smiled as he watched hapless animal after animal fall prey to half-ton scaled beasts lurking under the water’s surface.


BUCK WHOEVER CAME UP WITH THE IDEA OF A BRA!” Pinkie screeched from the bathroom.

Dan’s eye twitched. His usual enjoyment of his shows was being constantly interrupted by the sounds of Pinkie hitting the bathroom floor and screaming out. Only the memory of the last time he tried to help her put on a bra kept him from moving from his spot.


Despite Dan’s agitation, he snorted at Pinkie’s unexpectedly slightly morbid comment.

“IT WAS THE ANCIENT GREEKS!” he called out.

“DID THEY DIE PAINFULLY?!” Pinkie shouted back.

“MANY OF THEM, YEAH!” Dan replied with a grin.


Dan covered his mouth with a hand as he stifled a hearty guffaw.

After several more minutes of nature shows punctuated with the sounds of struggling from the bathroom, Dan heard an enthusiastic “I DID IT!” This was quickly followed up by a door being swung open and the rapid pitter-patter of feet over the apartment’s carpet.

Pinkie poked her head into the fort once more, her curly mop having transitioned from ‘unruly’ to ‘disheveled’. “I did it!”

Dan glanced at her, sighed, and went back to staring at the TV. “Congratulations, you’re practically a real girl already.”

Pinkie frowned as she knelt in front of the entrance, resting her arms on her thighs and allowing her hands to dangle between her legs. “Can’t you just be a little happy for me!?”



Hey!” Dan roared as he turned to Pinkie. “JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE stupid enough… to… to…” Dan quickly lost steam as he stared out at Pinkie Pie. His mouth hung agape for a split second and his eyes opened wide before he covered them with both his hands. “WHY DID YOU COME OUT WITHOUT PUTTING ANYTHING ELSE ON?!” he demanded.

Pinkie looked down at her mostly naked self then back up at Dan. “The bra was the hardest to put on, so I started with it this time!”




EEEEP!” Pinkie exclaimed before she dashed off back to the bathroom.

Dan uncovered his eyes and sighed. He grumbled as he went back to watching the T.V. “Stupid, sexy roommate…”

Mr. Mumbles perked up her ears and glanced up at her owner. “Merow?”

Dan glared down at her. “You heard nothing!” He sighed and stared at his alarm clock. “Geez! It’s barely noon! Way too early for this nonsense…” he declared as he began to crawl towards the fort exit. “I need a drink,” he announced to no one in particular.

Mr. Mumbles quietly followed Dan out of the furniture fort.

Dan made his way to his fridge, opened it, and pulled out a mostly full two liter bottle of neon-green soda.

“BUTTON, CELESTIA DANG YOU, BUTTON!” Pinkie cried from the bathroom.

Dan rolled his eyes and shook his head as fetched a tall glass from his cupboard. He filled the glass with soda and began chugging it down.

The bathroom door suddenly swung open.


“DRESSED!” Pinkie declared as she bounded up to—


Uh, as she picked herself off the floor before she walked up to Dan wearing a long-sleeved, red-and-white striped shirt and a pair of rolled up jean shorts.

Dan sighed, “Congratulations.”

Pinkie smiled wide enough that her lips made an audible ‘Squee!’ She looked down at her shirt, pinching a bit of it in either hand and holding it out for her to examine. “Huh… Feels like it’s missing something… I should figure out a way to get my cutie mark on my clothes…”

Dan chugged the rest of his soda and knitted his eyebrows. “What stupid nonsense are you babbling on about now?”

“Huh? Oh!” Pinkie exclaimed excitedly. “My cutie mark!” she said with a grin. Pinkie unbuttoned and unzipped her jean shorts and pulled them down low enough to give Dan an excellent view of the side of her posterior, in addition to the frilly pink panties she was wearing.

Dan’s eyes widened as his face began to go from pasty white to beet red.

Pinkie pointed at her blank, pinkish cheek. “See, it’s a mark that usually would go on my flank!” she exclaimed.


Eeep!” Pinkie exclaimed as she quickly did as commanded. She began to fumble nervously with her zipper. “Why?! What’s wrong?!”

“Well for starters, if you don’t want to be turned into some low-life’s plaything, I suggest you do your best to keep your clothes on!”

“Plaything?” Pinkie replied. “That sounds fun!”

Dan stared out wide-eyed at Pinkie before he smacked a palm against his face and dragged it down. “By Odin’s beard!” he cried in frustration. “I’m going to have to spell out every little stupid thing for you, aren’t I?”

“Well… I mean… I can read…” Pinkie said as she continued to fumble with her zipper.

“So can Mr. Mumbles,” Dan said as he motioned out to his furry, grey cat.

“Merow,” Mr. Mumbles mewed.

Dan continued, “But she’s a cat and you’re a human, so—”

“Pony!” Pinkie corrected.

Dan sighed as he began shouting in an agitated tone, “Whatever! No one cares that you're barely literate!”

Pinkie puffed out her lower lip. “It’s more than ‘barely’,” she said before she gave Dan a nervous grin as her cheeks flushed. “Though, I don’t know what reading has to do with keeping my clothes on and becoming a short person’s plaything.”

Dan stared at Pinkie with a blank expression. “I just… wow…” he stared off into space as he slowly raised a palm up to his forehead. “There was just so much wrong with that sentence I don’t even know where to start.”

Oh… uhhh...” Pinkie replied as she trailed off and continued to struggle with the zipper on her shorts.

“I think… I think I need to lay down for a bit,” Dan stated.

Pinkie nodded. “Okay, Dan… uh…” She gave Dan yet another pensive smile. “… Could you maybe help me zip my shorts up first?”

Dan said nothing, merely staring at Pinkie with a blank expression as she continued to stare back at him.

Uh… is that a ‘no’?” Pinkie asked.

“I’m going to need more soda,” Dan said quietly as he opened his fridge back up, unscrewed the lid to his bottle of soda, and began chugging the rest of its contents straight from the bottle.

“Oooo!” Pinkie exclaimed as she balled her fists and raised them up to her cheeks. “That looks good, can I— Whoops!” Pinkie exclaimed as her shorts slipped off her waist and hit the floor.

Dan’s eyes shot opened wide as he spit soda from his mouth in a massive spray of neon-green. “PFFFFFFFT!”

“Da…Dan?” Pinkie stammered out.

Dan wiped soda away from his mouth and sat the bottle down. “Uh…” He giggled nervously. “You look good in green…”

Pinkie looked down at her now soda soaked clothes as her sky-blue eyes began to well up with tears. She balled her hands into fists, threw her arms into the air, and shouted at the heavens.


Pinkie Vs.


“ACK! AIEEEE—” Pinkie exclaimed as she tripped on the shorts around her ankles.

“Whoa! HEY!” Dan cried as Pinkie toppled forward into him, bringing them both to the kitchen floor with a resounding ‘THUD!’

The bottle on the counter suddenly fell over, spilling its contents onto the hapless roommates below.

“Meow!” Mr. Mumbles cried in alarm as she bounded off towards the back of the apartment.

“…Pinkie Pie?” Dan asked from the soda-soaked heap of roommate he found himself underneath.

Uh… Yes, Dan?” Pinkie replied from above her roommate.

Dan glowered up at Pinkie. “You are terrible at behaving yourself.”

Pinkie sighed, “I know, Dan…”

“Good… now take off your bra and give it to me so I can strangle you with it…” Dan cried angrily.

Erm… okay… but uh… That might take me a few minutes… or uhan hour…”

One of Dan’s eyes twitched before both eyelids shot open revealing veiny white orbs of rage.


Author's Notes:

Welcome to what will hopefully become a collection of random stories of Pinkie Pie and Dan trying to share living space and dealing with the trials and tribulations chaotic Van Nuys, California has to throw at them.

As mentioned a few times, these are supplementary chapters to The Wheel and the Butterfly. They take place in the stories canon, but will likely cover things that don't have a huge impact on that story. Aside from expanding on certain events and perhaps building on the characters more, that is.

Chapters will come as I find time with my other stories and come up with ideas (and readers are always welcome to throw out ideas).

Thanks for reading and I hope you'll stay for more, chapter 2 is already in the works.

Thanks to MythrilMoth and Tired Old Man for their list of corrections.

Next Chapter: Part 1 Pinkie Vs. Clothes: Chapter 2 Dan Vs. Hypothetical Ape Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 12 Minutes
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