"Well, 'Wake up sleepyhead', huh," Twilight moaned, "what is this, a sitcom opening or something?" She shut her eyes, dreaming of a bowl of ice cold water being poured all over her.

"I suppose I could have said, 'get out of my couch', Twilight, but I didn't want to be too rude. Especially for a guest, and especially one that I just saved," the smooth, seductive feminine voice replied.

Twilight simply coughed, rubbing her head as well as her throbbing sides with eyes closed. I don't feel injured per se... I'm just tense. Or something. I feel like my insides are so hungry. So warm. So needy. She tried to think things through, but her mind seemed to have floated up into the stratosphere.

"You saved me, thanks," she mouthed, shifting over and sitting up in the couch, she felt a hoof curling up against her right shoulder. "I'm so happy, Dash. But I never did find out who the author was. And I... I waited and everything..." She sniffed as her body demanded more, more of that wonderful touching along her fur. Her insides screamed for dozens and dozens of tender rubs.

"Author? Ha," the voice laughed, giving Twilight's shoulder and quivering side a sort of mini-massage. The purple unicorn tried her best not to burst out in coos. "You're looking at her." Twilight felt two hooves going up her chest and nudging against her temples, going gently along her fur inch by inch. "Right now."

Twilight opened her eyes, some kind of hazy mist going through her mind and making things loopy. She opened her mouth, panting. Twilight gazed at the mare in front of her, eyes shifting slowly up from the mare's tender gray hooves up to the mare's huge, voluptuous flanks and adorable, curvy face with big, golden eyes pointing in oppostive directions.

"Derpy?" Twilight spat, shivering in place. You!

"The one and only," she replied, hooves moving through her beautiful blond mane. Her wings fluttered out, brushing against Twilight's side, as she plopped on the seat besides Twilight.

"But... you're... doing... and... Dash... the enchantments..." Twilight babbled, gasping for breath in between words.

"You're so cute when you're overwhelmed," Derpy said, putting a hoof onto Twilight's nose. The purple unicorn sat still, eyes focusing on the pegasus' face. "Anyways, I've been waiting a long time for you to wake up. All of your rattling on, delirium or something, told me everything I needed to know." Derpy snickered. "Almost everything, actually."

"Why?"

"Boredom!" Derpy called out, throwing all four of her hooves in the air and wiggling. "Lots of empty time in a hospital will do that for you. I got stick of just browsing books from well-wishers and decided to write my own. Dash helped a lot too. Like--" Derpy, curled over along the couch as flashbacks shot through her eyes. "Dash said stuff like "Bolt wouldn't say that," "Bolt needs to be like 20% cooler," "Bolt should do three loop-de-loops in a row, not just two," and stuff like that." She grinned from cheek to cheek. "She put a lot of herself into the character. I already knew a publisher pony that used the mail office, and he set things in motion. Lots of help from his sister Trixie, too."

"My book. It's just--" Twilight tried to find the right words."It's different. Not like every other one I've seen."

Derpy put a hoof against her face, eyes bobbing around. She tried to suppress what looked like an endless waterfall of laughter, several chuckles still making it through her hoof. She finally slumped backwards in the couch and nudged her leg against Twilight's. "Oh, Fluer De Lis. What a prankster. She wanted the 'first edition', 'Canterlot Book Society' versions of Books I and II to have--" Derpy bent her hooves to complete the image, making air quotes. "Having special erotic potency'."

"Potency..." Twilight repeated. She couldn't right register Derpy's words in her mind; she just wanted to lean across the couch and poise her hooves in the air, submissive like a pet dog. She turned her head down, looking through Derpy's messy living room and the weird objects from fishtanks filled with baseballs to upside down photographs to torn mathematics textbooks with freaky repeating scribblings in bright red ink.

"Fleur sure got those stuffy upper-class twits to lighten up, that's for sure. Trixie even went ahead and imprinted her name on the books, though. I guess she wanted bucking 'spell-copyright' or something." Derpy reached over and made a little motion out the window nerby, something that Twilight couldn't see. "So, I flipped the spell-copyright name. I expected to be laughed at, but ponies started babbling about some silly 'mystery author', and I kept the big joke with further printings."

"Big joke," Twilight whispered. She tried to control her panting, feeling so embarrassed. Her sweat had made a kind of halo acround her couch spot. Her eyes hopped around the room before locking upon a saddlebag. It's... got thick red splotches. Still wet. Wet. She opened her mouth to a gigantic 'O'. I broke the... on me... on it... and I'm... "Oh, my, Celestia!"

"What?"

"How long--" Twilight spotted her hooves all across her body, her mane wiggling across her head as she shifted in place. "Have I been like this!"

"About an hour and a half."

"Oh, Celestia help me." She watched as Derpy stood straight up. The pegasus' grin seemed even more sinister than a moment ago. I have a very bad feeling about this. "The... milk..."

"Of amorous clover?" Derpy whistled. "Oh, Twilight, you are one naughty girl." She stepped over, clutching the edge of the saddlebag. "You know, according to Fluer, Celestia only uses one vial on herself when she has several stallions over. And, my my, you brought two--" She sauntered over, her supple flanks wiggling with each step. Twilight's eyes feasted upon Derpy. "Two whole vials."

"I'm... I was thinking... I wasn't thinking," Twilight groaned, trying to light up her horn and magically grab the saddlebags. Her body didn't obey her. It wanted one thing and one thing only. "I was feeling weird, from reading that enchanted stuff, and I planned to take the vials and..." She paused, shivering as Derpy positioned her body right over hers. She found herself unconsciously leaning her sides over and wagging her hooves in the air, supplicant and ready.

"And what?"

"Use them."

"On who."

Twilight just locked eyes with Derpy.

"Oh, wow. Like I said before," Derpy said, holding the saddlebag high up in the air, "you're a naughty, naughty mare."

"Naughty aughty, getting haughty" called out Dash, popping up from somewhere on the stairs behind Twilight. She curled over, seeing Dash's ears perk. Twilight whimpered as Dash licked her lips.

"I-I'm... s-s-sorry..." Twilight closed her eyes, wishing that she was anywhere else than there at that moment.

"Don't be sorry for us, you silly pickle," Derpy said, squeaking with happiness as she leaned over Twilight. Her hoof went down and drew a soft figure eight upon Twilight's chest. "Be sorry for yourself. You need help. Such an incredible overdose of love potion, you're lucky to be here in one piece."

"I'm doing well enough now. Thanks for resucing me from that fall," Twilight said. She tried to stand up, legs buckling.

"We're more than willing to help," Dash commented, standing up right besides Derpy. Their eyes met for a moment, matching smiles on both their faces. Dash slide-stepped to the left, a hoof reaching out along the tips of Twilight's crazed, frizzy mane.

“Oh, Bolt,” I moaned. He rubbed his face along my neck, teeth scraping against my ear. His mane mixed into mine so naturally.

No! Not now! Out of my mind, you stupid books. Buck you, Trixie! "I can be going now," Twilight whispered, voice so soft that a mouse sounded noisy by comparison, "No help, no nothing. Don't worry. I'm fine."

"Oh, Twilight, your dazed eyes, frazzled mane, endless pool of sweat, and twitching hooves say differently," Dash commented, taking a deep breath.

Twilight desperately wanted to call Derpy off, to tell her that she didn't need any help, but that aching feeling in her loins overpowered her brain. She could do nothing but stare in a sick mixture of horror and excitement as Derpy eagerly thrust her hooves into her soaked saddlebag. The clover, the potion is just going... going all over... Twilight opened her mouth, nothing coming out.

"Now then," Derpy replied. Twilight's eyes traced the beads of sweat going along Derpy's cheeks, the pegasus' heart starting to rattle in her chest. The unicorn felt Dash sit right besides her, the throbbing blue wings stuck out across her belly with feathers going against fur.

Twilight had lost almost all control. She tried to speak, her mouth just hanging out like a statue. She eyed Dash as the pegasus curled her head around, nose going through Twilight's ragged purple mane. She sucked in a huge breath. Dash's lips moved along Twilight's cheeks over to her chin. The pegasus giggled, poising herself backwards. Dash clutched Twilight's shoulders and moved in for a full kiss.

"And I entered heaven. He immediately stuck his tounge along the sides of my teeth, and our lips just flowed in and out of each other."

Twilight didn't hesitate to hurl her hooves forward and bury them into Dash's wings. Her legs shivered with the eruptions of pure pleasure going through her head. She titled her head side to side, kiss melting into kiss and then another fresh kiss moment by moment.

"I'd never made out before. It was everything, I'm being cliche but I can't help it, that I had possibly imagined."

Twilight broke the kiss, gasping for breath and flicking her body to the side as Derpy's hooves went down her belly. Derpy's exploration went on as Dash grabbed Twilight, making out with even more intense passion a split-second later. Derpy's touches went into slurps and licks along her fur coupled with full fledged massaging. Twilight couldn't believe it, the sensations amped up to such an insane degree by the magical milk. She heard herself start to purr, sounding almost like a tigress.

Derpy pulled Twilight over and propped the unicorn's legs up along the side of the couch. She wiggled as Derpy tickled her flanks, knowing just how to set her off. Dash halted her kisses to move up and start teasing the unicorn's horn, hooves rubbing up and down with frantic speed. Twilight mind seemed to boil, shot of bliss after shot of bliss inside of her.

"Hey, Twilight," Derpy suddenly called out.

Twilight simply let out an 'uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnhhhhhhhh', tongue hanging out of her mouth. Dash's rubbing escalated to a frenzy, the pegasus' wings also nudging pleasure spots that Twilight had never even dreamed of.

"Want to do some, shall we say, 'fictional-physical adaption'?"

"Bolt's teeth stuck out and gripped against the ball gag. I gazed at every last little drop of salvia dripping down along the hard plastic. I brought up my hoof above his head. His eyes met with my whip, and he bit with all of his strength. I saw the teeth marks now seared into the plastic, and I grinned."

Twilight's eyes seemed to grow as wide as canyons as Derpy flew into the air, sliding a chain with heavy metal accouterments from a pole in the ceiling. The locks, bars, handles, and everything else already brought tingles across Twilight's body. "Oh, Celestia!" Twilight screamed, legs smashing against the couch pillows. I don't think I'll be able to walk after this!

"He breathed in deep to take every last drop of that enchanting musk from a hard day’s work bucking at the apple orchard. Bolt quivered in anticipation— every touch of the stallion’s throbbing red flesh shooting electricity into him. Oh, there would be bucking tonight. Guaranteed."

An hour later...

Spike trotted down the stairs, the endless knocking against the door sounding like a city-wide rock fight. He slid to the right against the pillows, just narrowing missing smashing his body against the wall, and he let out a breath. Oh, seriously, what can be this important? His mind flashed over and over again what he'd say to Snake-In-The-Plot's fanfiction requests on PISfiction.net

*Slam!*

"Okay, fine, I'm right here!" Spike called out. Seriously! He threw open the door.

"Hi..."

Spike stared at Twilight. His eyes rippled from the mysterious splotches of sticky material along her cheeks and cutie marks to the trapezoid-like shape of her mane, frizzy strands darting out all over, to the reddish-purple bruises running down her belly and everywhere in between. The baby dragon stepped forwards, Twilight's hoof sticking out and making an invisible line over his head.

"Don't. Say."

"Twilight..." He took a little breath.

"Don't. Say. A. Word."

Spike made a zipper-like guesture across his face, and he shut the door after Twilight. She bucked backwards, front hooves poisied in the air. Spike saw a saddlebag hurling through the air into the mini-fireplace.

"Hey--" he began, but he shut himself immediately.

Twilight smiled, sitting flat down on the floor as the fires consumed the bag and all its contents. She met eyes with Spike, the baby dragon trying not to recoil at the sharp expression deep inside them. He looked down at the floor, moving to the kitchen.

"I'm taking a shower," Twilight calmly stated. "I'll take a long, long while."

"Okay," Spike replied, leaning up against the kitchen door.

"Oh, and Spike?"

"Yes?"

"What's your favorite book at the moment?"

The baby dragon couldn't believe the question, sputtering a moment when he started to think.

"Answer me!" Her teeth clenched.

"The Bubblegum Adventures of Captain Wig-Wam by Chronos," he blurted out, immediately blushing a bit.

"Well! What? What's it about?" Twilight said, eyeing Spike like a hungry snake looking upon a fluffy mouse under a log. Her mane drooped ominiously over her eyes.

"Well, there's this band called 'The Sweet'. They have this set of hits, really little foal type stuff over in Hoofington, and they don't know what to do. Like small time and stuff. They suddenly rip of the riff to this one gigantic single by the Kinky Knacks, and they make this tune about a colt that likes to party every day, all of the day called Chinny Chapcolt. This one stallion named, uh, Captain Wig-Wam joins up to take over as lead singer. They go to Canterlot, and--" Spike suddenly stopped, wondering if he was signing his own death warrant with his spiel.

Twilight simply stared. Spike froze, hardly even wanting to breathe. Twilight finally made a slow, dramatic nod.

"Anyways, uh," he muttered, "In Canterlot, they discover this evil unicorn named Ozzy Ozmare, and she wants to fill the world with darkness by singing songs about like graveyards and like hating your parents and stuff. So, then, the Sweet have to go the underground caves of Coltsville and discover this rocketship, buried by two-legged and two-hoofed pink ancient ailens, that's powered by bubblegum power pop music. They rock out, and they like fly around in their spaceship and solve mysteries by spreading happiness and stuff. They sign that 'Ballroom Blitz' song, you know."

"That sounds like--"

"The song goes," Spike begins, pumping his pelvis in the air and clapping his paws with pure emotion, "I see a stallion in the back. As a matter of fact-- his eyes are as red as the sun! And the mare in the corner, let no one ignore her, she thinks she's the passionate one! OH! YEAHHHHHHHHHH!" He threw himself down on the floor, singing for a few seconds before freezing. His eyes moved over to Twilight.

"Like--"

"Oh, dear sweet Celestia, please don't have her kill me," Spike whispered.

"That's perfect!" Twilight's face suddenly lit up. "Give me a copy, and I'll have my mind de-toxified for sure!" She felt something calm, smooth, and sugary stirring inside of her, just from Spike's words while retelling the book.

"Uh, okay." Spike scratched his head. He watched Twilight trot up the stairs and shoot into the bathroom. "Well, that was interesting." He stepped around the edge of the kitchen and idly picked up some of the mail.

"Ahhhhhhhhh..." cooed Twilight from far upstairs.

Spike ignored her as he read. "Well, the Canterlot book nerds seem to be losing it over that one novel about the Ponynet being evil or something, whatever." His eyes suddenly locked upon a headline at the bottom of the letter. "What? Young Colts, Tight Bondage the Movie? With the Cherry character played by Sweetie Swan? Blast you, teenage mares!" His paws jiggled with rage.

Spike stood straight up. He let out an angry grunt, grabbed the letter, crumpled it into a tiny ball, and opened his mouth. With a smug smile, he blasted it into flaming nothingness.

The End