10th of September, 2352

I wonder which quality of mine would be the most remembered after I passed away? Would it be my cunning? Or the intensity with which I plot against my enemies? Or perhaps my ability to make the most out of what I have?

If I was to pick, I’d say it would be my recovery skills. Whenever my minions are crushed, whenever my funds go dry, whenever I end up trudging through the jungle with nothing but bitterness in my throat, I always return in full force. No matter how hard I fall, I get back up and try again. Few succeed and make it back to the top.

I am, fortunately, one of the few chosen by fortune, it seems. Just look at what I’ve managed! Three days ago, I was running back to my last few loyal servants like a beaten dog. Today, I stand strong and proud, the temple swelling with my underlings. True, luck played a large role in this, but it was also all, by extension, my doing.

Those bird-like beings we evicted from here earlier found themselves homeless, just as we did before. By a streak of luck, they found their way to the earth-pony tribe and decided to conquer their temple! The ragtag remains of the tribe then wandered the jungle and, seeing this nice place I have, begged me to let them stay and were willing to obey any of my commands. The irony of the situation is not lost on me. I don’t even feel sad about the defeat anymore!

That’s not the end of it, however. The pegasi kept themselves busy and trained several beasts to assist me. A tiger! A cheetah! A panther! A lynx! And, well, a housecat. I suppose they just trained anything they could get their hooves on, but I didn’t complain. The cat is fuzzy and kind of fun to play with.

As for Daring Do, I already have something prepared. Word has reached me about a certain statue of high value in one of the tombs nearby. If this information ‘leaked’ into the city, I doubt she could resist. Especially if I throw in some nonsense about it destroying the world should it get in the wrong hands. If I obtained the artefact myself and placed it into some room filled with traps, I could get rid of her and even have a nice souvenir to sell, killing two birds with one stone.

Daring shuddered. Spiders, snakes, spikes, quicksand, and who knows what else – Ahuizotl didn’t hold back. He got me with that one. I was lucky he was dumb enough to put the lever that stops the trap inside the trap. And yet all I got for the trouble was a lousy piece of sapphire. ‘High value,’ hah! Netted me less than the book I wrote about it – ‘Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone.’

16th of November, 2352

Ah, well, that’s two more months thrown out of the window, I suppose. And I made sure the trap would be perfect! Shame. I should have listened to the pegasi architect – the lever inside was a bad idea.

Yet I really wanted to speak with her one last time, before the trap squished her! I’m not even sure why, it just felt like the right thing to do. After all, we’ve known each other for some time already, have we not? And I must say that the look on her face when she realised that I fooled her once again was priceless! Maybe hire a photographer next time? No, I suppose that would disrupt the whole ‘you’re about to die in some forgotten ruin’ atmosphere.

On the positive side of things, Parfait didn’t come to my mind at any moment. Not even when I looked at Daring Do, despite their similarity. Come to think of it, I haven’t thought about Parfait in weeks. Good. Now I can finally focus on my plans without any such distractions.

Getting over your crush? About time. Maybe you’ll finally stop comparing me to some stuck-up duchess!

30th of December, 2352

‘Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone?’ What is this? I’m described as an insane, bloodthirsty idiot! And what is Daring Do playing at? A.K. Yearling? What is that supposed to mean? Does she think I’m stupid? That I’ll think it was written by somepony else? ‘Oh, A.K. Yearling. Never heard of her. It must be a coincidence that she writes about the exact same things that had happened here!’

Actually, it was to boost popularity. My agent said that since nopony believes the things in my books anyway, I might as well brand the next one fiction and start a new series under an alias. It’d look like some self-insert story otherwise. I thought it was a load of nonsense, but hey, it worked and ‘Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone’ was a hit.

An outrage is what this is! I mean the events are in order, more or less, but the adjectives! ‘The short sighted opponent,’ ‘the badly constructed trap,’ ‘the brutish creature!’ A smear campaign! Just you wait until I get my hand on you, Daring Do!

Come on. You are kind of threatening up close. And the readers want some scary villain! Couldn’t disappoint them. Although seeing how I wrote back then, I already might’ve… Compound adjectives are my bane! Still, that doesn’t excuse him for getting it wrong as well.

Daring started flipping through the pages. The fortress of Talicon, The Amulet of Atonement, Radiant Shield of Rasdon… She hardly even saw Ahuizotl during all that. It made sense, considering the sheer amount of traps she had to get past: he was probably busy overseeing them all, and the journal showed it as well.

Page after page detailed every single trap she’d encountered. Only an occasional text about the construction progress broke up what was more and more resembling a manual rather than an actual journal. If nothing else, Ahuizotl was obviously in his forte. Oh, this one was nasty. I even had nightmares about it for the next two weeks!

She skipped a few more entries, her eyes landing on a picture of a bottle with some sleeping powder and a wooden sprayer.

Heh. This one captured me. Being in a cell again was actually a relief, in a way – I was spent from all that dodging and fighting for my life! A break was exactly what I have needed. Heh. Even had some fun in there. The only time I actually saw Ahuizotl throughout the whole thing.

Daring sat on a stack of hay, humming herself a tune as she finished yet another plate of fruit. “One more, please,” she said to the small hole at the top of the wooden door.

“Uhh...” The guard opened the peephole and looked at her, cocking his brow. “I-I’m still not sure if this is what he meant by ‘take care of her.’”

“What’s there not to get?” She smiled. “He obviously wanted you to close me in here and take care of me. He could just kill me outright if he didn’t want me to survive, so he doesn’t want me to starve to death. I’m still hungry!” And I just found out that mangos are delicious!

She examined the pegasus through the hole. He was young and, although he was covered in various paints that marked him a tribal, it looked anything but intimidating on his scrawny figure. Milksop. “When is Ahuizotl coming anyway? I thought he’d be here right away, gloating and whatnot. Not just send you over.”

“Umm... well...” He scratched his head. “He doesn’t have w-wings and is far away. It’ll take him a bit longer.”

Daring Do sprang up. “How much longer?”

“A... few hours? Three, if he’s quick?”

“Oh.” Daring nodded and laid back. “So, what’s it like working for a maniac?”

“H-he’s not a maniac. He got us a new home and brought us wealth.”

Daring grinned. “Whatever you say. But... you seem kind of nervous. What’s the matter?”

“Y-you’re pretty!” He covered his mouth with his hooves. “I-I mean...”

“Well, you’re not too bad yourself.” She winked at him. “What is it you like about me? Maybe my cuuurves?” She started playing with her tail, twirling it around her hoof.

His face turned redder than a chilli pepper. “U-um... Err...”

“Come on, don’t be shy.”

“I r-really like your... eyes.”

“My eyes, huh? How about you bring me those mangos, and maybe then I’ll let you stare at them from up close?”

“U-up close?”

“Yes, real close.” She grinned. “Who knows how far apart our lips would be, hmm?”

He continued staring at her.

Oh, for Celestia’s sake! “Mangos! Chop-chop!”

“R-right!” He ran off and returned not half a minute later, together with a bowl full of orange fruit.

“Great! Now open the door.”

He recoiled. “I can’t do that.”

Daring Do sighed and massaged her temples. “Alright. I realise that you jungle folks aren’t the brightest. To clarify, what I meant earlier was that we would kiss. Sorry for demanding such an unreasonable amount of intelligence from you. Now, one can’t really kiss through a closed door, unless you expect me to grow a trunk and stick it through the peephole. So open it already!”

“Right!” He started fumbling with the lock.

I swear Ahuizotl put this dolt here just to annoy me!

“Here are the mangos,” he said, walking in and puckering his lips.

Daring reached for the bowl with one hoof and for the keys with the other. She launched the mangos in the pegasus’s face, yanked out the keychain, and pushed him inside her cell. “Sorry, you’re not my type,” she said as she locked the door. “Besides, I don’t date little colts!” She laughed and turned around.

Ahuizotl stared at her from the other end of the hall. “Daring Do?”

“Ahuizotl?” She turned back to the pegasus. “You said three hours!”

“Yes, three hours minimum!” The guard nodded. “Unless he took a chariot. Then it’d be much faster, of course.”

Daring’s face reddened as she grit her teeth. Moron! I swear I’ll–

“What is the meaning of this?” Ahuizotl asked. “How did you get out of your cell?” He looked at the pegassus. “How did you get inside?”

“S-she said she was going to kiss me.”

“What?” Ahuizotl’s brows clashed together. “Explain!”

Daring’s eyes jumped around the hall and saw that, apart from other cells, there were no doors except the exit behind Ahuizotl. “He told me I was pretty, so I just played along. Use smarter guards next time.”

Ahuizotl started marching forward, his eyes bloodshot. “You did what?”

“Uh...” Daring took a step back. “I told him that–”

“Not you, him!”

The pegasus gulped.

“This is treason! A complete and utter breach of the very core of your assignment! Disloyalty and incompetence combined!” He stomped closer and closer to them, the path forward blocked completely by his massive frame. “To solicit the enemy, unbelievable!”

Daring started sweating. “Calm down; you got me. Let’s not get unreasonable.”

“Calm down? Unreasonable?” Ahuizotl stood only meters away, baring his teeth like a rabid dog. “I’ve had enough of this! It’s either you” – he looked at her – “or it’s one of my own men! This time, the traitors will be punished.” He leapt forward, barging through the locked door.

Daring Do dove between his legs, skidding on the floor and jumping back into the air the moment his body passed above her. Then, something grabbed her from behind. What is– to hay with that stupid tail-hand!

She flapped her wings as fast and hard as she could, but to no avail. Ahuizotl pulled her closer, stomping on the fallen door and roaring like a lion as sobs emanated from under it.

She pulled at the tail, even punched it, but it was no use – it started enveloping her like a rope, tying her up completely. “Let go!”

She bit it.

Ahuizotl yelped, and the tail started squeezing her with a force that no ‘limb’ as thin as that should ever have. “I said...” It squeezed the air out of her lungs. “Let go...” She gasped for air. “You beast!”

She bit him again with all the strength she could muster.

Ahuizotl yelped – more like a beaten-up dog than a ferocious lion. She already tasted blood when he finally released her.

About time! She flew away without a single look back.

“Curse you, Daring Do!”

On second thought, it actually wasn’t that funny. It was like he went crazy all of a sudden!

4th of April, 2353

‘A beast,’ says the one who nearly bit off my tail. Well, it’s true that I got rather... carried away. I’m not even sure why, it was as if a red haze suddenly covered my eyes. Breaking down the door like some brute and then using physical violence like that... not my best moment, I admit. What even came over me? When he said he fell for her despicable feminine wiles as if it was some sort of defense, it was as if he said ‘come here and punch me.’ The consequence of being betrayed one too many times, I suppose.

Still, I wasn’t exactly fair towards the guard – he didn’t deserve to have his legs crushed by the door, even though he did betray me. Who can blame him? Who could resist her undeniable charms? Her well-shaped hips, her heavenly face, her pearly smile, her roguish mane or, how did he say it? ‘Magenta eyes as sweet as syrup, which refuse to let you go and in which you drown.’ A fitting description, I’d say.

Daring Do looked herself over, her cheeks burning with crimson. Do I... really look like that?

It’s true that only a being as mature and wise as I could be immune to these distractions.

Yeah, right! So immune that you write about my hips even in your little diary! Why didn’t you say you just wanted a kiss too, you poor little thing? Hah!

It was unreasonable of me to expect a lowly tribal pegasus, a young one at that, to be able to resist. I hope he makes a quick recovery so that I can punish him properly – he still betrayed me, his fault or not. I can’t just let that slip. Two months of mango-picking duty should drive any thoughts of her out of his head.

I somehow doubt that.

I suppose one learns with mistakes. Next time, the guard will be old and married. Or maybe I should hire a mare for this? Or I’ll just put Daring Do in a trap that requires no guards. No risk of seduction there. Then, however, I won’t have her under any supervision – risky.

This will require some thought. Still, I feel my traps are getting better and better; I’ll get her next time; I’m sure of it!