It had been a few hours since we escaped from Canterlot, and we were now well into the Everfree forest. Since we'd been walking for a few hours, I decided it was time for a rest stop.

"Fucking finally." Said Dave. "We've been walking non-stop since we escaped that place."

"Well, it's not like we want to get caught again." I said pointedly. "Anyway, it's probably safe in the Everfree for now. Let's go gather some food and water, and we'll rest our legs for a bit. My old base is still quite a bit away." We split up, and each wandered off into the forest to try and find something edible. It was only after we'd separated that I realised that not only was I the only one with any idea about what was edible and what wasn't, but that I didn't know if that would've changed at all since I was last here.

Shifting into eagle vision, I climbed a tree and started moving through the treetops. After a short time, I spotted a goose below me. I dropped onto it and snapped its neck. It's a start, but this'll only be good enough for about one of us. I'll need to find more.

I continued my search. After another few minutes, I heard snoring. Stalking closer, I saw a large manticore asleep in a clearing next to a bog. While manticore wasn't the best tasting animal this world had to offer, it was certainly nutritious. The beast would serve to keep us on our feet for a few more hours. I began to slowly make my way over to it, careful to avoid stepping on anything that might make a sound and wake it up. I did not need that thing to notice me.

Of course, as soon as I thought that the weirdest car I had ever seen crashed through the foliage. Even stranger was the fact that it appeared to be being driven by a green cybernetic ninja, and a guy with an orange mask who looked like he belonged in some kind of anime. Naturally, it ploughed straight into the manticore, sending it sprawling through the air and landing with a resounding splash in the bog it had been napping next to. The manticore turned toward us and let out a deafening roar.

“Shit.” I said.

There was a loud rumble, and from behind the manticore rose four long, scaly brown necks, each topped by a pissed-off looking head.

And a fucking hydra. Why not? I thought to myself.

“Well thanks a lot, assholes.” I said to the two driving the vehicle.

Naturally, they ignored me. The green cyberninja turned to the orange masked guy and… well, he extended his hand and rolled his head around for seemingly no reason. “Kohai, I told you that we needed to have made a left at that bit of the Void! Then, we would have gone to the Equestria made entirely of bacon!”

The orange one shrugged. “But sempai, this one felt interesting! You have to admit, one minute here and we've already hit a manticore into a hydra.”

What on Earth were these guys on? I thought.

Green moron nodded. “That may be so, that may be so. At the same time, bacon. You know that you would want a piece of that tasty world.”

Orange moron shrugged, pulling out a small black knife and toying with it idly. “But if everything was bacon, sempai, wouldn't it technically be eating dirt?”

“Oi, fucknuggets!” I said, trying to get their attention. “I don’t know what the hell you two are on about, but if you could maybe stop talking for a second and help me kill this hydra, that’d be great.” I had no idea what kind of drugs these guys were on, but all I was focusing on at the moment was the hydra glaring down at me. They continued to ignore me, however, so I decided I needed a different tactic.

“Bacon is for chumps!” I yelled at them.

That got a reaction. Orange moron threw the knife at me, but I dodged, thankfully. He then turned around. “Fuck you, bacon is awes-” He then stopped. “Sempai, it’s a guy in a hoody.”

Green moron turned around and looked. “Huh, so it is.” He then saw the hydra. “Oh. Right.”

He got up, cracking his joints. “Fine, I guess I can kill these things for you… if you’re too much of a wuss or a vegan to.”

I drew my sword. “I’ll take the manticore, you two keep the Hydra off of me. Deal?” He nodded, drawing his own sword, while Orange moron gave a thumbs up. “Oh, and a word of warning: I don’t know how it is back wherever you’re from, but hydras here have almost uncuttable, magic-proof scales, so that sword might not be too useful. Best thing to do is go for the eyes.”

With that, I ran toward the manticore. He was a big bastard, they’d certainly grown over a thousand years. It leaped into the air and glided toward me, roaring as it went. I jumped, planting one foot squarely into its face, and using it to vault onto its back. It landed and attempted to stab at me with its tail. I’d learned long ago, however, that the best way to dispose of manticores was to get rid of their tail first. As it stabbed toward me I sidestepped and slashed at it.

I failed to sever it completely, but I’d put a large gash in it. The manticore wasn’t pleased with that. It reared up onto its hind legs and fell backward, attempting to crush me beneath it. I jumped off just in time, however, and rolled to the side. It flipped back over and came at me again.

Fuck, this is one relentless bugger. I thought.

Meanwhile, Green moron was just calmly walking up to the hydra. He looked up at it and started scratching his neck. “Magic proof scales, huh? Well, time to… meditate.”

With that, he just sat down and started spinning around, teleporting above onto its head and attempting a downwards slash. Unfortunately, while he managed to get one head, the other three were refocusing on him. They drew back…

Only for him to jump right back off and getting two of them to collide. He landed on the ground and effortlessly backflipped away. “Huh, this is surprisingly easy. You sure this was a challenge?” With that, he put his sword into a better position and pointed his hand.

“Fuuton: Wind Blade!” With a simple flick of his fingers, the last head’s eyes were impaled with something or other.
“Wham, bam, thank you ma’am.”

I gaped at him. He had not only just killed a full-grown hydra, but he’d done it almost casually. I was startled out of my shock by the manticore pouncing on me again. I slashed at its face with my sword, blinding it. This caused it to roar and swing wildly with its paws and tail, but since it didn’t know where I was, I ran behind it and severed the tail at the base. It roared again and whirled at me, but this time I was ready for it. I leapt onto its back again, and swung my sword as hard as I could into its neck, severing its head. It flopped to the floor, dead, and I jumped off it and walked over to the two weirdos.

“Wow. I'm impressed, I've never seen someone take down a hydra so easily. You have got to show me how you did that.” I said.

Orange moron lazily pulled out another knife. “It’s easy when you’re using chakra. Yoshimitsu can induce a chakra system in you.”

Yoshimitsu nodded. “Indeed. I can induce it. But first, let us help you carry these things back to your camp. Tobi.” Tobi nodded, gripping the hydra’s corpse.

“Kamui!” yet another weird miracle occurred, with the hydra’s corpse literally disappearing into his eyehole via a swirling black vortex.

I gaped.

“Wow, I do not want to know what is behind that mask.” I said. “Anyway the camp is over this way.” We returned to the camp, seeing that the other three were already there.

“Hey guys.” I said. “I found ninjas. Ninjas, these are Rob, Ed, and Dave.” I pointed to each of them as I said their names.

Tobi looked around, then turned to Yoshimitsu and started talking. “Sempai, it’s a hoody meeting.”

Yoshimitsu nodded. “We should probably introduce ourselves.”

Tobi nodded. ‘Hi! Name’s Tobi, and this is Yoshimitsu-sempai. Pleased to meet ya!”

Dave, Ed, and Rob just stared at them.

“Where the fuck did you find those guys?” Ed said, eventually. “Isn’t he a Naruto character?”

“Yeah, and I swear I’ve seen the other guy in some kind of video game.” Dave said.

“Oh, like we can talk.” I pointed out. “Anyway, I found them in the forest. Was about to kill a manticore, when they showed up and hit it with their… 'car'. Into a hydra.”

Tobi nodded. “You see, it’s because my magic eye allows me to travel across dimensions.”

Yoshimitsu nodded. “Indeed. I gained magic eyes from eating a chunk of soapstone, and now, we go on a roadtrip through the multiverse. Also, Tobi, should we get the ball rolling with gifts?”

Tobi nodded, focused, and the hydra corpse popped out of his magical-ass eye. Tobi grinned. “Now, who wants some grass?” With another swirling of blackish stuff around his eyehole, joints popped into existence. He passed them around, leaving us staring at these magical joints.

“Well, I didn’t have anything else planned.” I said, sitting down and putting my feet up. “You got a light?”

Ed and Dave joined me, but Rob just stood there tentatively holding the joint.

“Dude, seriously? A random Naruto character just gives you weed and you’re not going to question that at all?” He said.

“Pfft,” I laughed, “You are such a virgin.”

Tobi shrugged. “Eh. We’re not, quite sure about that. But whatevs.” He looked, shuffled over, and flicked his hands. “Fire release: Great Fireball jutsu!”

The resulting fireball barely missed us, lit the joint, and flew through the forest, where it presumably hit something.

“Well, that’s one way of doing it.” I said. “So, how about we carve up some hydra steaks?” I went over to the hydra and drew my sword, only to remember my own warning about hydra scales. “Hmm. Hey, Yoshi-whatever-your-face-was, mind giving me a hand with this?”

Yoshi nodded, drawing the katana that I noticed was glowing. With a couple of surprisingly elegant gestures, the hydra’s corpse was neatly sliced into large chunks of meat. He sheathed it, and opened the lower hatch of his mask, revealing a rather scarred mouth.
“Let’s get cooking.”

After we’d had our fill of hydra, the six of us sat around a campfire that we’d built and Tobi had lit.

“So,” I said, “What’s your dimension like? Is it an alternate Equestria, or are you from Earth too?”

Tobi took a puff of his joint. “Well, we’re from Earth originally. We bought things at a con- I bought this ring,” here he indicated a purple crystal ring on his left thumb, “and Yoshimitsu-sempai bought his sword.”

Yoshimitsu shuddered. “Then, hambeasts practically attacked us, and we had to get out of there lickety-split. Next thing we know, poof, Equestria.”

“Funny, a similar thing happened to me.” I said. “We were also at a con and bought stuff, but for us it was the Apple of Eden. It plonked me here about one thousand years ago and I got turned to stone. After that, these guys started showing up later. Ed arrived around two hundred and fifty years after me, then Dave five hundred, and Rob one thousand, which is how we escaped.”

“So,” Ed said. “You’re on a multi-dimensional roadtrip now? Been anywhere interesting?”

Tobi waved his hand. “Nah, not really. Navigating the Equestrian multiverse is difficult enough, but we manage.”

Yoshimitsu nodded. “It’s kind of crazy. Anyway.” He pulled out a chunk of a faintly glowing white rock.
“We don’t need this anymore, so I guess you can have it.”

“What is it?” I asked, reaching out for it. “Soapstone?... Why is there a chunk missing from it?” I asked, before remembering what he’d said earlier. “Wait, this is the stuff that gave you magic eyes, isn’t it?... Well if it worked for you…” I said, putting the soapstone in my mouth. However, Yoshimitsu quickly reached over.

“Whoa, that is crazy shit you’re talking about there, partner. Here.” Tobi said, pulling out a bottle of vodka. “Wash it down with this.”

“Alrighty then.” I said. I put the soapstone in my mouth and bit down, taking a chunk out of it. I chewed for a couple of seconds, before taking a swig of the vodka and swallowing. I immediately started coughing.

“Christ on a bicycle!” I said. “What, did you put acid in this?” It was at that point that I felt a burning sensation in my gut.

“...That doesn’t feel too good.” I said, and promptly blacked out.

When I came to, I saw Rob, Ed, and Dave standing over me. “How long was I out?” I said.

“About ten seconds.” Dave said. “But you were glowing.”

Yoshimitsu shrugged.”Eh, it’s probably nothing. Now then!” He grinned. “For a limited time only, I will be bestowing the chakra power on anybody who wants it. I should warn you though, it will hurt like a bitch.” He looked to me. “Not you though Josh, sorry. You kind of ate some soapstone. Hope you understand.”

“...Not really.” I said. “But sure, whatevs. I’m not about to argue with cross-dimensional ninjas.”

“Sooo…” Dave said. “What exactly is this ‘chakra’?”

“I think it’s like inner energy or something.” Ed said. “It lets people control things like fire and water, and does a whole bunch of other weird shit. Not sure what type we’ll end up with, though. I never watched much Naruto, but personally I’m hoping for wind.”

Yoshimitsu nodded. “Then by the power of my hand, I give you… THE CHAKRA POWER!”

With that, he slammed a hand on Ed’s head and green energy flowed through him. Impressively, Ed only screamed for a couple of minutes before Yoshimitsu's hand exploded with green energy before hurling him halfway across the clearing. He looked around. “Huh, didn’t work. Right, who else wants some?”

Dave and Rob backed away slowly. “Nah, I uh, think I’m good.” Said Dave.

Rob nodded his agreement. “I’m with Dave on this one, that does not look good.”

“Suit yourself.” I said, standing up and looking at the sun. “It’s probably time for us to move on anyway; the guards’ll be hot on our tail by now. It was fun meeting you guys, though. Maybe we’ll see each other again someday.”

Tobi and Yoshimitsu waved. “That’s okay; we totally understand. Laters!” With that, they climbed back into the car, and drove off. More black swirling came out of Tobi’s eyehole, and then they got sucked into it, like water down a drain.

“...Well, they were fucking weird.” Dave said.

Author's Notes:

This has been a crossover with Ssendam the Masked's story Screw the Rules, We're On a Road Trip!

Go check it out!