The only sound that broke the still mountain air of High Hrothgar was the gentle clacking of Fluttershy's hooves against stone. It had been quite a long time since anypony had bothered to hike up the seven thousand steps to meet up with some old unemployed pacifists, and the stones had grown a bit of moss over them. Still, the young mare knew that her father's advice was critical.

The troll had been a bit of a challenge, of course. Fluttershy didn't know why they kept one, but at least there was a conveniently located huntress nearby to do the fighting for her. She walked right past the body without any real concern.

It took Fluttershy nearly an hour to make it around the mountain even after fighting the troll, but at least the building was starting to come into sight. It stood there, grim and staunch as if nobody ever came to visit. Which, honestly, nobody did.

Fluttershy gulped, not sure if she wanted to walk up to the buiding and try to socialize with complete strangers. They might just be old pervs waiting around to get their grubby hooves on her.

Despite all of that, the small fortress grew bigger and bigger as she grew closer to its gates. She was overawed by the size of something so far up the mountainside. How did they even manage to keep it so well maintained?

"Wow, t-that's impressive!"

"It's only a model," the huntress stated before taking in her surroundings. "Are you sure you're safe from here?"

"Yes, I am."

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to, you know."

"I k-know, but I h-have to."

"Alright, but you really should listen to what I said about joining the Air Force. They've got a much better package than these old coots anyways."

"I'll keep t-that in mind, thanks!"

The large, abandoned doors to the shack the Greybeards called home gave the entire building a decrepit feeling. Fluttershy gulped nervously one more time before knocking.

"Who is it?"

"Um...it's Fluttershy."

There was silence for a moment before she heard talking on the other side of the large double-doors. "I don't think anyone's actually there, Boss."

"Shh! You're not supposed to be talking when company's around! Remember, they all think that we destroy stuff just be talking!"

"Why do we do that anyways, Boss?"

"Because...because they need to be warry of us! It'll keep bandits away, and you know how rampant they are throughout Skyrim! There are honestly more bandits than civilians in this country!"

"I bet you're just trying to keep us quiet to let you do all the talking!"

"Am not!"

"Are to!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

Fluttershy sighed before knocking again. Maybe this really wasn't worth the trip. Still, her father had been very clear about her needing to go out and see the old farts. Something about them 'making a mare' out of her, whatever that means.

"Shh! Somebody must really be there!"

There was a slight shuffling inside before one of the doors creaked open. An old, wizened pony snout popped out of the doorway. He took one look at Fluttershy before shouting "No solicitors!" and slamming the door behind him.

"Wait!"

There was a slight pause before the door opened again.

"Yes? Can I help you?"

"H-hello, my d-d-dad said that you c-c-could help me with my sp-sp-sp-speech impediment."

"Did he, now? Why the hell would he send you up here then?"

"B-because you're g-g-good at, um, shouting?"

The old goon looked down before sighing. "Yes, we used to do that. But that was from a time long ago, in a different world. We don't train new Greybeards anymore, and certainly not if they're mares like you."

"Oh, okay then. I'm s-sorry I bothered you. I'll be going now..."

If the Greybeard heard her, he didn't pay any attention. He was too busy ranting to even notice as she started to trot away.

"Not that we have anything against mares, mind you. It's just that we wouldn't be 'Greybeards' if any of us didn't have them. So there was this one time where a mare wanted to..."

Fluttershy didn't really care what he was saying when she turned around the bend. Whatever her dad said about needing to become a 'Doe-vah-keen' or something, none of that really mattered. Bunch of old farts anyways.

A little later at a nearby Equestrian Air Force recruitment station...

"Next!" the orderly shouted as he stamped yet another pony through the enlistment office.

"U-um...hi."

"Who the hell are you?" the stallion asked, idly inking his stamper to admit the mare in front of him.

"M-my name's....Fluttershy..."

He paused for a moment, trying to process what the buttery yellow pegasus had said before stamping her papers anyways. "Yeah, whatever," he said, handing her back a folder and a dufflebag. "Just don't come crying to me when the drill sergeant laughs you out of the Air Force."

"W-who's the drill sergeant?"

"Your worst nightmare," the orderly responded casually. "I've heard rumors that he eats new recruits that give him sass with a side of barbeque."

"Oh...um...I hope he doesn't eat me too."

Fluttershy watched as the orderly looked her up and down. He paused to think for a moment before chuckling. "Oh, I don't think you have too much to worry about. He likes them fat, from what I remember. Something about Pyle and jelly donuts."

"Okay, um, thanks!"

With that, she turned around and slapped her dufflebag over her shoulder. She followed the throng of ponies as they passed through the doors towards an awaiting train, handing her stamped papers to another orderly in passing.

All the ponies in front of her were pushing and shoving, trying to make their way to the train leaving for Camp McCaren. Fluttershy felt herself forced to the side as a pair of larger stallions crowded their way to the front.

"Hey!" somepony cried out indignantly when she found herself face-first in the ground. Fluttershy didn't even realize that she'd dashed forward to help her up until she had her hoof around the pony's leg.

"Here, let me help you-"

"Hey, watchit!" the mare snarled into her face before helping herself up. "Only a whimp would bother with your help. Now get the buck out of my way!"

"Eep! O-okay..." Fluttershy answered, cowering away from the mare she'd attempted to be friendly with. Were all ponies around here this mean? She'd thought it was just a Cloudsdale thing. Maybe it was a pegasus thing.

After everypony worked their way onto the train, Fluttershy followed onboard. She started looking around for a spot to sit down at, hopefully with room for a dufflebag. The ponies around her just glared.

"This seat's taken."

"We don't take your kind here, whimp."

"Leeerrooyy Wwiinggggkiinss!!"

"Don't even try to sit here, you little punk!"

"I like pants!"

Someponies were even moving their dufflebags in her way just to keep her from sitting next to them. Some of them looked at her with a sneer, some with indifference. Nopony was friendly, that was for sure.

"Hey look, it's that whimp again!" shouted the pony she'd tried to help just a few minutes earlier.

"Yeah, don't try sitting with me you wuss!"

"Wow, you're so pathetic looking. What're you doing here?"

"I-I d-don't-" Fluttershy started.

"You could sit here, if you like."

For just a moment, the raspy sound of somepony's voice pulled Fluttershy's attention away from the train's resident bullies. She turned around and looked to find a young mare waving for her to sit down.

"Oh, um, alright."

Fluttershy took a seat next to the strangely nice pony. The filly next to her was a bright cyan pegasus, thick locks of rainbow colored hair streaming down her neck. She was almost painful to look at. Seriously, who designed that color scheme?

"Hi, my name's Rainbow Dash. What's yours?"

"U-um...it's Fluttershy."

"I kinda didn't hear you. Care to say that again?"

"M-my name's Fluttershy."

"That's better! That's a really cute name, Fluttershy."

"Thanks."

Just like that, the two of them hit it off. While Fluttershy was more than a bit timid at first, she opened up fairly quickly to the bombastic extrovert that is Rainbow Dash. The rest of the trip to boot camp was a blast for both of them as they swapped absurd fillyhood stories about pranks, colts, and their favorite candle scents.

The two of them were just starting to bring up matters like family and why Rainbow Dash's mane was the color of a gay pride parade when the train pulled in for a complete stop.

"Looks like we're here," Rainbow said, grabbing her nearby dufflebag. Fluttershy copied the motion, reaching up for her gear.

"ALRIGHT, YOU MAGGOTS!! I WANT ALL OF YOU TO HOP OFF OF THIS TRAIN IN RANK AND FILE, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"

"YES SIR!!"

A big, buff pegasus strode onto the train, his face screwed up like he'd had a few too many warheads for breakfast. Fluttershy chuckled; maybe that's what drill sergeants did to look scary?

"DID SOMEPONY JUST LAUGH?! WHO DID THAT?!"

Silence.

"FINE, BUT DON'T THINK  I WON'T BE TELLING YOUR INSTRUCTOR!! BECAUSE IT'S YOUR FIRST DAY, I'LL BE NICE WITH YOU!! DON'T EXPECT THAT OUT OF YOUR INSTRUCTOR!! PRAISE THE FLOCK!!"

Everypony made their way off of the train, trying hard not to be noticed by the sergeant's glare. They all filed into a good sized building, trying to keep the required 'rank-n-file' order they'd been given.

"Places, you maggots!" a gruff voice shouted from behind the opening door. Everypony in the room immediately took their places, trying their best to look as inconspicuous as possible. It wasn't working. In strode the physical embodiment of might, power, and pathetic wing size. A gigantic, mighty form marched forth like a blazen piece of glowing marble, cut straight from the hardened material by nothing short of the might of the gods. His chiseled face stood out, firm and unrelenting against his strong white fur, the epitome of strength and valor.

Everypony was still for a moment, taking it all in. They were in perpetual shock, amazed by his magnificent features. Everypony present started to wonder if the had just discovered the eighth wonder of the world. At least, until they noticed one little detail.

"My God, look at his wings!"

His wings were about the size of a pigeon's at best. That was all it took for all the fairly mindless ponies in the room to bust up in uproarious laughter, belting out guffaws without caution of any of the collatoral damage that throwing out such powerful artillery could do. Needless to say, the crowd was causing an uproar.

"YOU MAGGOTS BETTER GET BACK IN LINE, NOW!!!"

Just as quickly, all the local idiots who were laughing at his wings shut their little traps. Fluttersy heard Rainbow barely suppressed a snicker at that. The sergeant (or whatever he's called) promptly directed everyone into a line with the mere wave of his hoof, and they of course complied.

"Now I want to see some wing out there, or else you'll have my wrath to contend with! Now give the praise!"

"Praise to the flock," the group replied rather unenthusiastically. The commander instantly went full overlord on their poor, depraved souls. "God save us all," one of them muttered.

"THAT'S NOT LOUD ENOUGH!! LOUDER!!"

"PRAISE THE FLOCK!!"

"LOUDER!!!"

"PRAISE THE FLOCK!!!"

"LLLLLOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A collective gasp spread through the crowd as they prepared themselves to belt out the loudest shout their lives had ever or would ever witness. The captain's eyes immediately lit up with demonic glee as he anticipated the coming blast of the pegasi's vocals getting blown in a similar fashion to M. Shadows.

"PPRRAAIISSEE TTHHEE FFLLOOCCKK!!!!"

Somewhere in Gryphus, a small bowl fell over.

"That's more like it! Now get your sorry little flanks out onto that field! We have to go in ten minutes, and no loligagging!"

As directed, the pegasi flooded out the doors to the nearby field of clouds. Fluttershy looked nervously at her companion, but followed suit regardless. Perhaps things wouldn't go so well...

“Places, maggots!” yet another monstrously buff Pegasus called to them as they streamed into position on the nearby field. “We’re going to do this by name. Your instructors are on the east side of the field. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, fly too far west. If they lose sight of you for any reason, you’ll be failed, immediately. If you fail, I'll personally rip your wings off, hang you by your spleen, and play jump-rope with your intestines. Am I understood? Just take deep breaths. Stretch your wings one last time. Also, kiss the pony next to you square on the mouth, because you're going to need it. The test will consist of five sections: Weather clearing, weather clearing, more weather clearing, weather clearing, and finally weather clearing. Clear the clouds by any means necessary, and you'll do fine. I don't care if that's by kicking them with your hooves, flying through them like butter, or just plain bashing them with those idiotic faces you kids all seem to have. Do you have any questions?” The commander paused, carefully glancing at every single pony in the room. It looked like there were no question, considering the fact that there was a small amount of drool dripping from the nearest pony's mouth. She smirked, flexing her dudely muscles.*

"Alright, get ready to get wrecked!"

Three hours later in a moldy mess hall....

Just as stated, all of their time was spent diving headfirst into annoyingly thick clouds.  Whatever they thought they were joining the pegasus Air Force for, it seemed that the instructors had a different idea all together.

"That was awesome!" Rainbow Dash yelled.

"R-really?" Fluttershy asked.

"Well duh! My brothers and I have been clearing skies for years. It was really fun to mop the floor with those other ponies' faces. You didn't do too badly yourself, Flutters."

"U-um thanks."

A quick glance around the mess showed that all the tables had been folded and moved aside. Whatever it was that they were about to do, eating probably wasn't on the list.

"What's going on here? I want grub!" one stallion shouted.

The doors burst open, the mare instructor from earlier moving in. She looked around her and smirked.

"You thought that this was just going to be simple weather duty and then you'd get to eat, didn't you? Well I'm going to be upfront with all of you; that was just the warmup. I'd like you all to meet your new senior drill instructor."

Everpony waited anxiously. If this wasn't their senior drill instructor, they certainly didn't want to know who was going to be in charge of them. One brown-coated stallion was rather glad that he'd been born with his genetics.

"Hello, Darlings!"

Their jaws all dropped as a beautiful unicorn mare strode into the hall. She looked around her with a smile, nodding to everypony in general. Her face turned to a scowl as all of the stallions started jeering.

"Hey, sexy, wanna buck?!"

"Woot, that's a fine ten-bit ass you've got there!"

"SHOW ME YOUR PUSSY!!"

She sneered, looking over the rabble before interjecting. "As much as I'd enjoy drilling all of you, I'm not your instructor. I'm just here to pick up the new uniform order that your instructor requested."

"Well then where is he?" somepony asked.

"Right behind me."

"I am Gunnery Sergeant Hoofman, your senior drill instructor. From now on, you miserable maggots will speak only when spoken to. The first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be sir. Do you maggots understand that?"

Just like magic, everypony in the room stood a little straighter, trying their best not to draw attention to the small but frightning pegasus drill instructor who just marched into the room. He looked around himself critically before marching down the nearest line of new recruits.

"Well?"

"Sir, yes sir!"

"Bullshit, I can't hear you! Sound off like you've got a pair!"

"SIR YES SIR!!"

"Don't forget to praise the flock."

"PRAISE THE FLOCK!!"

"What the buck did you maggots just say? Do I look like a bucking priest?"

"NO SIR!!"

"Do you guys like ketchup?"

"SIR, YES SIR!!"

"Good, you'll need it to coat my gun because the next one of you inbred pieces of moldy shit that says that stupid line 'Praise the Flock' is going to end up on his knees with my rifle four feet up his ass! Am I understood?"

"SIR, YES SIR!!"

Sergeant Hoofman continued to walk down the line, looking at each recruit to see who would crack first. Finding nopony stupid enough to do so yet, he continued with his rant.

"If you ladies leave my training alive, you'll be a weapon, a minister of death praying for war! Until that day, you are pukes, the lowest forms of life on this good earth. You are not even bucking equine beings! You're nothing but unorganized pieces of amphibian shit!"

Everypony tried to keep a straight face, all of them trying very hard to put all of the practice from their poker nights into use with the hilarious sounding pegasus.

"Because I am hard, you will not like me! But the more you hate me, the more you will learn that I am hard but I am fair. There is racial biggotry here. I do not look down on hornheads, mudponies, stripes, or airheads. Here you are all equally worthless!"

"But sir, we're all pegasi!"

"Who said that? Who the bucking buck just said that?!"

"I did, sir!"

Sergeant Hoofman quickly strode his way over to the admittedly ugly stallion who said that. He quickly bitch-slapped him across the face before continuing.

"My orders are clear: I am to weed out all non-packers who don't pack the gear needed for my beloved Marine Corps. Do you maggots understand that?"

"But sir, this is the Air Force!"

"Who said that?!"

"I did, sir!"

The same stallion stupid enough to comment before found himself with a face-full of smelly old hoof stuffed into his mouth.

"Do you think you're in charge here, Private?"

"No sir!"

"Bullshit, I think you're a ringleader!"

"No sir!"

"Would you like to be in charge? Do you think you can lead my beloved Marine Corps?!"

"No sir!"

"Are you scared yet, private?!"

"Yes!"

"Yes what?"

"Yes sir!"

"Well thank you very much, you pathetic worm!"

The sergeant stormed back to the front of the line before continuing with his ongoing monologue.

"So do you all understand that?"

"SIR YES SIR!!"

"I asked if you understood that, not if you could whimpler like a bitch! LOURDER!!"

"SIR YES SIR!!"

"Bullshit, I can't hear you!"

"SIR YES SIR!!"

"What's your name, scumbag?" Hoofman asked, stopping in front of the closest recruit.

"Sir, Private Chaser, sir!"

"Bullshit, from now on you're Private Cloud! Do you suck dicks, Private Cloud? Do you like that name?"

"SIR YES SIR!!"

"Well I'm sorry to disappoint, but they don't serve dicks in this mess hall!"

"SIR YES SIR!!"

"What're you saying 'yes sir' about? Did I ask you a bucking question, Private Cloud?!"

"SIR NO SIR!!"

"Well then shut your filthy sewer!"

"SIR YES SIR!!"

"This is a Marine Corps, not an namby-pamby army platoon! Our instructors don't watch childrens' shows made for little girls, so you'll have to speak up like you have a pair!"

"SIR YES SIR!!"

"But sir, some of the drill instructors in the marines also watch-"

"YOU AGAIN!!" the sergeant shouted, wheeling on the loudmouthed private who just couldn't seem to learn to keep his trap shut. Another bitch slap later and the drill instructor was all over his case.

"Who the buck are you, Private?!"

"Private Wingkins, sir!"

"You don't look like a Wingkins to me, Private. From now on, you'll be known as Private Wingkins."

"Sir, but you just said that I didn't look like a-"

"What was that, Private?!" Sergeant Hoofman shouted before slapping him across the face again. A large, red welt was starting to form on the young stallion's visige.

"N-nothing, Sir!"

"Speak up, Private Wingkins!"

"SIR NO SIR!!"

"Bullshit! You'd better speak up before I unscrew your neck and shit down your throat!"

Rainbow couldn't take it anymore. While she was managing to keep her face fairly straight the whole time, watching somepony getting a railing like that didn't sit well with her. She had to do something to get the guy off of the poor stallions ass.

"Is that you, Daring Do? Is this me?"

"Who said that? WHO THE BUCK SAID THAT?!"

The sergeant wheeled around on his hooves, marching over in the direction from where the voice had come. His face was quickly turning from the lighter beige coat on his body to the livid red of a furious step-mother.

"Who's the slimy little comedy shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrent?!"

Rainbow glanced over at Private Wingkins to motion for him to stay quiet just as he was about to say the voice was a mare's. For once, the brash pegasus did as he was told.

"Was it you, Private Cloud?!" the sergeant yelled. "No, it was you, wasn't it! It was you, scroungy little shit!!"

"SIR NO SIR!!"

"Well I'm about ready to tear you a new hole down your ass, you little scu-"

"IT WAS M-ME, S-SIR!!"

The sergeant turned around, looking straight at Fluttershy. She kept her best straight face the whole time, trying her best to prepare for the coming maelstrom of hurt that was heading her way.

"So you think you're a comedian, huh? You know what, I like you. You can come over to my house and bang my sister anytime!"

Fluttershy gasped, falling on to her knees as she felt the wind getting knocked out of her with a solid kick. To this day, nopony knows the physics behind how Hoofman could deliver a celiac plexus strike to a pony's diaphram, but that didn't seem to stop him.

"You little punk, you little shit! You think you're funny?! You will not laugh, you will not cry, you will no pass go and collect two hundred bucking dollars! You had best unbuck yourself before I unbuck your head and shit down your neck, Private Joker!"

"S-SIR YES SIR!!"

"Private Joker, why'd you join my beloved Marine Corps?"

"T-TO LEARN H-HOW TO BE A MARE, SIR!!"

"So you're a killer?!"

"W-What? I d-didn't say t-tha-"

"Let me see your warface!"

"Sir?"

"You've got a warface? AAHHH!!!" he shouted, snarling. "That's a warface! Now let me see your warface!"

Fluttershy scrunched her face before trying to give it her best go.

"Bullshit, you didn't convince me! Show me your real warface!"

"You don't scare me! Try better!" he shouted, slapping her across the face.

"AAAHHHH!!!" Sergeant Hoofman screamed in utter terror before shitting himself. He ran and hid behind the nearest cadet he could find, not wanting to face such a frightening image.

"Sergeant, calm down!" shouted one of the earlier instructors who had, until that moment, been sitting still with popcorn while they watched the poor recruits soil themselves. It took a few moments for Sergeant Hoofman to calm down, but he stood up straight and looked Fluttershy calmly in the eye.

"Well it seems we've found our candidate for Weapon Plus," he said, turning back to his underlings. "Fetch the Doctor, will you?"

Four days and several lab experiments later....

"Um, w-what are you doing?"

"Now, now Fraulein, this won't hurt a bit."

"O-okay."

"Archimedes, get out of zat equipment!" the gryphon shouted, picking up his stupid looking pidgeon before turnign back to his subject. "Filsy birds."

"Um, what're you d-doing?"

"I'm preparing for ze medical procedure!"

"Which is?"

"I have no idea!"

"O-okay," Fluttershy said, before lying back down on the medical table. She noticed the doctor reaching into a box of strange items before turning back around.

"Now, Fraulein, I'm going to vant you to sit back and relax. This will only hurt a little..."

A shot of morphine and the strange sensation of pressure in Fluttershy's groin was all that she noticed over the course of the next hour. It felt oddly...pleasant.

"At last!" the doctor shouted before turning away from his finished product. He looked so huggable.

"D-doctor, yur so huggable."

"Quiet, Fraulein. You're still on ze morphine right now."

"Oh...hehehehahahahaha!! I can see my fingers!"

"You don't have any fingers."

"I have seven armpits in my gazebo!"

"I'm getting too old for this," the old doctor muttered before switching on the intercom. "Scout, I need you to get ze good Sergeant up here. It is complete!"

A few minutes later and the drill sergeant strode in through the double doors. He looked over at Fluttershy for a moment before turning back to the doctor.

"How'd it go, ya german shit?"

"It vas another successful procedure!"

The two of them walked over to Fluttershy's bedside, looking down at the results.

"Sweet Virgin Mary, that's huge!"

"Yes, it vas up to your specifications!"

"This should work perfectly! Thanks, Doc!" Hoofman said, slapping the doctor across his back. The gryphon medic rubbed his shoulder with an annoyed expression.

"Yes, vell she needs a few days of sleep for it to settle."

"Yeah, yeah, I hear ya. Do you hear that, Private Bloodsplatter? You've finally grown a pair!"

And that, boys and girls, is how Fluttershy grew a dick.