This is a literal continuation of the original story, The Unexpected Love Life of Dusk Shine by Meme-Asaurus. All credit to the original goes to him. See blog here for permissions. I more than highly suggest that you read the whole story before reading this since this literally picks up where the last left off. This isn't a sequel, this is a Part II. If you're too lazy to read the whole thing and for some reason still want to read this or you're looking to catch up on the last couple chapters since it's been a while, at least read this: Rainbow Dash is Best Pony: The Premiere.

Ever heard of the old addage, "Don't play with fire?" It was first coined by Chief Pyro back before the caveponies had quite discovered writing. During his quest for fire, the young alicorn had tried to figure out a way to harness the power of wildfire as he searched for ways to make them less susceptible prey to their gryphon neighbors.

As it turns out, setting fire to the nearby forests to flood the gryphons out was pretty stupid since they could just fly out. The same couldn't be said for the large number of unicorns down there at the time, which is the reason why they've been the least populated pony tribe ever since.

When his eldest granddaughter, Celestia, discovered how to harness the powers of the sun, he had to remind her of this after she started experimenting with solar flares to cook vegetables. After having to clean up the bodies of millions of dying dinosaurs, the elder alicorn warned her of the dangers of playing with fires and it had become simple common sense ever since then.

The same philosophy can be applied to almost anything in life, whether that be an oven stove, a firearm, or a strange magical bottle of highly caustic fluid. Whenever you try something dangerous that you don't understand, you're likely to make a mess.

This was very true in the case of Rainbow Dash. With a single beat of her wings, the cyan mare blasted through the nearby wall at barely subsonic speeds, throwing everypony in the stadium back in their seats and properly correcing Derpy's eyes all at the same time.

"Woah!" she said, pulling herself to a stop almost a mile above the stadium. "Did I just do that?" She looked down to find the ponies staring up at her. She'd put enough distance between them in a few seconds that they were nothing to her but ants. "So. Much. Awesome!"

Rainbow took a deep breath before diving back down. She felt the usual splipstream of pre-sonic speeds pass her by in a split second before she broke the sound barrier for the second time in her life. "Yeah!" she shouted. Still, it wasn't enough.

The stadium blew past her in ten seconds flat as she slammed into Mach 2. The sound cone around her was shredded as it ripped itself appart around her. Still, it wasn't enough.

"Must go faster!" Rainbow cried as she accelerated. Just as she slipped from light speed into ludicrous speed, she felt reality shift around her. She had just a moment of realization of the stupidity of it before the world turned rainbow.

Rainbow Dash shook her head, trying to dispel the dizziness that settled from the crash. She tried to stand up, pulling her legs up under her before collapsing again.

"W-where am I?"

"DHX studios, of course," replied a rather feminine voice.

"G-god?"

"Actually it's Faust. Lauren Faust," Faust answered. "But in your case I suppose that's close enough."

Rainbow's vision started to clear up enough to make out the figure looming over her. It took a few seconds for her brain to flick the reboot switch and adjust to her new settings, but after a few updates she was able to register the figure in front of her.

"Sweet Celestia..."

The ape stood nearly five and a half feet tall, a height rivaling that of even the princesses. Her eyes were deep and piercing, and the granny blouse she sported only added to the ominous vibe that she exuded. A cup of Starbucks was settled in one hand, a pen in the other. It was obvious that she'd been writing something moments earlier. Naturally, Rainbow Dash reacted in the bravest way possible.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

Like a boss, Rainbow bolted out the nearest door without even bothering to open it. She dashed boldly down the halls of whatever place she'd landed in, everything passing by in a blur. It took her several moments to realize she didn't even know where she was going.

"Rainbow Dash, wait up!" Faust cried out behind her. "I just want to talk!"

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Several more turns down the hall and a quick left found the mare in an almost identical spot. She lightly panted as she waited to hear if her creepy stalker was catching up. After a few moments of silence, she managed to calm down a little.

"Now where am I?" Rainbow asked to herself, taking in her surroundings. Apparently she was in the middle of some type of asylum filled with flourescent lights and whitewashed walls. The only thing breaking up the endless stream of white was the occaisional steel doorframe standing out.

She spotted a nearby doorway with a picture of a pony on it with the words 'Writing Staff' emblazoned below it. Curious, Rainbow decided to take a look inside. She stood up and cautiously trotted over to the door, trying her best to quietly open the barrier in front of her. Years of physically impossible manipulation of obviously round doorknobs had taught her how to be discrete.

The room within was filled with the sound of dozens of typewriters clacking as scores of chimpanzees bashed away at the keys. One of them looked up for a moment, meeting her eyes with his own dull ones before scratching his pits and diving back to work.

"What. The. Buck?!" Rainbow asked to no-one in particular. "How does that even work?"

"Quite simply, Rainbow Dash," Faust said from behind her.

"AAAAAHHHHH-mpf!"

"None of that," Faust stated, roughly placing a hand over Rainbow's mouth. "Now be a good girl and quiet down or I'll edit you out of the show." When Rainbow calmed down a little, she took her hand off of the mare's mouth.

"What's going on here?" the mare asked.

"Oh, you mean the writing staff for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic? Interesting you should ask." Faust looked around, staring at all the chimps around the room. One of them was taking a special interest in its feces. "I suppose I could tell you, but you've got to promise not to tell anyone. Am I understood?"

"Um...sure?"

"Good! Well then, have you ever heard of the Infinite Monkey Theorem?"

"The what now? I'm sorry, if you wanted an egghead you should've asked my coltfriend. Dusk's great at that kind of stuff," Rainbow responded. She looked back at one of the chimps before it started looking back at her.

"Freaky. As you were saying?"

"Well, the Infinite Monkey Theorem states that if something has the slightest chance of happening and an infinite amount of time in which to do so, it will happen. For instance, if you filled a room full of monkies with typewriters, sooner or later they'd eventually be able to write Hamlet."

"Okay, so let me get this straight. You were trying to cook a Hamlet? How many eggs did you use?"

"No, we were-gah!" Faust said, letting out an exasperated sigh. "Why did I create you to be so difficult? No, we were trying to come up with a good reboot for Powerpuff Girls. Unfortunately, due to deadlines and budget issues with having a proper writing staff, we had to pump out good content quickly, so we decided to test the Infinite Monkey Theorem! However, rather than getting coherent episodes of super powerful cartoon girls, we ended up with random, incoherent episodes of a show regarding technicolor ponies. We didn't have time to fix that so instead here we are!"

Rainbow snored a little louder.

"Rainbow!"

"Bwu-huh? Oh, I'm still here."

"Must you always sleep when I'm trying to say something important?"

"I don't know, didn't you mention creating me or something? You tell me," Rainbow Dash replied. She stiffled a yawn before making eye contact with the chimp again.

And the world learned that day never to hold a staring contest with a chimp.

"Dash, stop distracting our employees. We're paying them by the banana."

"Do chimps actually eat bananas?"

"You're missing the point, Dash," the woman breathed out. "Now can you be a dear and shut up?"

"Yes ma'am."

"M.A. Larson?" Lauren asked, turning to the chimp in question. It responded with a grunt. "I'd like you to get back to writing that Duskicorn thing for a few seasons down the line. Hasbro says they want to sell new toys."

"What's a Duskicorn?" Rainbow asked.

"Spoilers," the woman replied with a smirk. "Now would you like a tour?"

"Sure, why not."

Meanwhile at the Legion of Doom:

A hooded man was idly playing with his Tonka trucks when the door to his office burst open. The messenger stood there gasping for breath for a moment before regaining his composure and standing straight.

"Sir, I have dire news. It's from the Time Police!"

"Really?"

"Really!"

"Really?"

"Really!!"

"Really?!"

"Really."

"Well then spit it out! Can't you see Steve and I are busy?"

"They have requested your help immediately. Apparently there's been yet another Fourth Wall breach into our world!"

"Is it that pink pony again?" the figure asked with a despondant sigh. "I thought we already established with the Board that she's simply uncatchable, even for me."

"Um, no sir. This time it's a rainbow pony," the messenger replied, carefully giving himself room for a quick exit.

"Is she with the Gay Pride parade?" the hooded man asked.

"I don't think so. All we got reports of is some strange pony literally blasting her way into our world from the other side."

He chuckled at that. Somebody powerful enough to smash her way through worlds? Finally, a challenge worth accepting! He'd have her apprehended immediately!

"Ready my chopper!"

"Which one?"

"Bring out...the Harley!"

That rainbow haired pony had better watch out. She was no match for his kind of awesome!

Also meanwhile in the Cloudsdale Stadium...

"ROCK ON RAINBOW DASH!!!" screamed Booster Gold as the contrails of Rainbow's flight path burned themselves forever into everypony's retinas.

"What just happened?" Dusk asked, still trying to see past the rainbow-vision he'd just acquired.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie thinks Rainbow Dash just broke the boom-barrier."

"It's called the sound barrier."

"That's what Trixie said."

"No, that's--nevermind. Well congratulations to Rainbow then! Where is she, anyways?" Dusk asked, looking around for the pretentiously prismatic pony.

"She's not here."

Pinkie Pie had remained the only silent pony while everypony else was busy cheering. Her hair was slowly flattening as she looked around despondently.

"Pinkie, are y'all okay?" Applejack asked.

"She's in danger," Pinkie muttered. ""I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of fans suddenly cried out in terror and were just as suddenly silenced. I fear some terrible exposition has happened."

"Whatever are you talking about, Darling?" Rarity inquired.

"She broke the fourth wall. She isn't here anymore. They'll come after her too."

"Who's they?"

"They!"

"They who?"

"They!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Who's they, Pinkie?"

"Them!"

"Pinkie, please make some sense!"

"They them!"

"Pinkie!"

"What?"

"Who's they?"

"Them!"

"...Damnit."

"Well whoever 'they' is, if we don't do something Rainbow could be in real danger," Dusk interrupted, bringing the two back to reality.

"I know," Pinkie whispered.

[You know you've got to do it,] Pinkamena intoned. [We can't let her just die on us like this. You know how that world is!]

She might get lucky and just pop up as a filly in a box.

[Don't be an idiot, Pinks! We both know that's just an absurd contrivance on the part of the fans designed to hit the feels! There's no way the universe would be that kind to her.]

Please...you know we're not allowed to do that anymore, Pinkie replied, head dropping in defeat. It goes against the rules. I'm not allowed to break the You-Know-What again or else!

[Just do it!]

No!

[Do it you wimp!]

But then he'll-

Just do it, Pinkie!

A-author?

Yes, it's me.

But I thought you weren't going to let me do that again?

Look, I need some exposition. This story is going just about nowhere and the last guy who tried to write this chapter ended up eating a can of worms on it. I need release, and badly. So can you do a tiny little favor for me and actually do something? I don't know, come up with your best. You are now officially free of the rules of wallbreaking for the duration of this chapter.

Really?!

Eeyup.

Pinkie's face lit up as the gears in her head started chugging. All the events going on in the human world started to catch up with her as she started looking at the future events to come.

Oh no!

[What is it, Pinks?]

This is bad! This is very, very bad! Pinkie thought to herself.

[What is it?!]

"They called in Him."

Everypony turned to look at Pinkie strangely. "What is that?" Dusk asked, trying to pretend he wasn't talking to Ms. Crazy.

"We've got to go back to Ponyville...Now!" Without another word, Pinkie Pie grabbed all the ponies present and ran out of the stadium with them in tow. The world passed by in a blur as they ran down the cloud streets to their parked blimp.

"Oh come on!" Dusk shouted as he noticed the ticket sitting on the side of his air balloon. Apparently he hadn't noticed the '30 Minute Parking' sign sitting next to their spot.

"No time for that! We must perform the Unholy Sacrement!"

Meanwhile, right outside the Cloudsdale Cloudsdome...

"I'm telling you, I will hurt you if you don't let me in," Spike threatened. He was at just about the end of his patience and this guy was really getting on his nerves.

"What're you going to do, nibble on me?" The security guard chuckled. "You're a bucking kid! Now scram before I have to scrape you off the permises!" The guard whipped out his mithril baton. Jeez, the Cloudsdale guards got all the best junk!

"You know what? Buck it! Let me ask you something, shit-bag."

"What is it?" the guard asked with a sigh. He really didn't have anything better to be doing with his time anyways.

Spike lifted his forearm up before showing the stallion a long stretch of scarred flesh. His scales were a bit twisted and gnarled in what looked like the result of some severe burns.

"Do you want to know how I got these scars?"

"Um...what?"

"Well you see, at an early age even dragons can burn. It's relatively difficult and we're very flame retardant. That's never mattered when faced with the torrent of heat that's known as Dragonfire. When I was a bit younger and first discovered my flame, I learned that the hard way," Spike said, menacingly approaching the stallion.

"Okay? What d-does that have to with anything?" the guard asked, shifting around nervously.

"Ever heard of third degree burns?" Spike inquired before promptly lighting the guard's stick into a glowing pile of molten slag. The stallion stared at his liquified weapon before looking back at the unamused dragon.

"Um.. I-I'll let you in then," the guard stated, still in shock at what he saw.

"Glad doing business with you, Scrote."

Spike was just about to open the door to the stadium when it blew open for him. A managerie of blurred colors rushed past him as the ponies he'd been looking for flew right by.

"Oh that's not even bucking fair!" he shouted indignantly. With an annoyed sigh, the dragon followed in their wake. "I just got in!"

A few blocks later found Spike staring down at an even more distant balloon drifting off towards Ponyville. He stood still for a moment, watching all his efforts to get the mail to his sort-of bro flush down the drain.

"Well...buck."

He turned to find his own balloon before finding it being towed off to the impound. He stared at it dumbfounded for a moment before running towards the cops.

"No no no no no no!!!"

"Sorry kid, but you were parked on a red lined cloud. That's for emergency use only."

"But it's a rental!" Spike responded.

"So?"

"I need that balloon!"

"That's just too bad, kid. Try parking in a better spot next time."

Spike stared angrily at him for a moment, looking from one cop to the next before an idea struck him. He lifted his arm up.

"Do you want to know how I got these scars?"

Back on Earth...

"And this is our Corporate CEO, Brian Goldner. Now there are a few things I have to tell you before we start talking to him. First of all, he does not like being referred to as a brony. Just because he owns Hasbro doesn't mean that he watches shows for little girls! So don't you even try to give him a brohoof."

"Okay..." Rainbow Dash responded. "I don't even know what a brony is but I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

"Second of all, please address him as either Mr. Goldner or Sir. You aren't on a first name basis with him and don't even think for a second that you are," Lauren stated, eyeing her prismatic companion. "Finally, you must be sure wipe your hooves before entering. The cleaning lady isn't the most fluent in English due to her nationality and we really don't want to have to bother trying to translate 'Clean up Mr. Goldner's office, please,' into Spanish."

"Alright, I got that."

"Good. Now prepare to be awed by the brilliant mind that is Mr. Goldner. If it weren't for him, I'd never have been able to write you in the first place, so remember that. You exist because he allowed it. To you, that makes him your god. Am I understood?"

"Yeah, I hear ya!" Rainbow said, buzzing idly in place as she waited for the ape in front of her to open the door. "Can we go in and ask him about getting me back to Equestria already?"

She was suddenly surprised as Lauren took her into a surprise glomp. "Hey!" she cried out indignantly. Lauren squeezed her tightly for a moment before setting her back down.

"Sorry, I always wanted to do that," Faust said. "Well I guess you're ready then. It's been an honor, Miss Dash."

"Likewise, sort of."

"Here we go!"

The steel door slowly opened as Lauren entered first. Rainbow couldn't quite see past her as the woman entered the room.

"Boss? She's here."

There was an awkward moment of silence as another gay baby was born while Faust waited for a reply. A moment later she nodded her head and turned back to Rainbow. "He's ready."

Taking a deep breath, Rainbow Dash entered the room. She looked around for a moment before making eye contact with the Chief Executive Officer of Hasbro Incorporated itself.

"Okay, I'm not going to comment," Dash said.

The chimp made a quicky series of signs with his hands, looking indignantly at the mare. Lauren blushed for a moment before saying, "He's asking what you mean by that statement."

The monkey was definitely giving Rainbow the stink-eye, but she didn't comment. It wasn't like it would matter anyways, Lauren was just as much of an ape anyways.

"Oh nothing really, I was just finding it odd that you had such an interesting typewriter," she replied, her eyes shifting left and right. Some more signs quickly flew out of the monkey's hands.

"He says that's alright, not everyone knows how much of a boon having a laptop is."

"Where are you getting this?"

"Sign language, of course! He's speaking with his hands."

"Sure, whatever." Rainbow Dash deadpanned. "Not like it matters anyways, but-"

A loud beeping sound cut her off as the intercom drew their attention. Mr. Goldner held a finger up for silence before pressing the glowing red button blinking on the device.

"Sir, there's someone here to see you."

The chimp pulled out a nail file before tapping away on the speaker. A few more moments and the speaker responded.

"No Sir, it's the Time Police. They say you're harboring a reality felon on the premises and that they want you to hand him or her over to them immediately."

Mr. Goldner scowled, something that's rather difficult to pull off as an ape, before clacking away with his little strip of metal. "Of course, I'll take care of it right away," the speaker responded.

"How does she know what he's saying?"

"Oh that?" Lauren asked. "It's just Horse Code. Hasbro created it a few years ago to encrypt communications with chimps without having to rely on Morse."

"That's a stupid pun."

"You're one to talk, Little Miss Ponyville."

"...Point taken."

The chimp interrupted them by banging his head on the table and screaming out in chimp language. He then showed off a flurry of finger gibberish before turning his back to them.

"Alright sir. He should be here any moment."

Right on cue, a soft tapping came from the door. Lauren strode over to open it before backing up to let in the hooded figure. He stood there, dark and imposing as he waved the door shut behind him. His knuckles cracked as he racked his hands. Rainbow could tell just by looking at him that there must be at least a metric ton of muscle under that hood.

"W-who are you?"

The figure remained quiet, slowly reaching back to pull off the hood. As his robes dropped down to the ground, Dash got her first glimpse of the pinacle of manliness everywhere.

Rainbow's life went before her eyes as the man in front of her stood strong. She could see exactly what he was capable of just by looking at him. She'd never met him before, but she couldn't help but notice some things about him.

Chuck Norris had a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear wasn't dead, it was just afriad to move.

Chuck Norris didn't flush the toilet, he scared the shit out of it.

Chuck Norris never had a heart attack. His heart wasn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattlesnake. After three days of pain and agony the rattle snake died.

Chuck Norris didn’t wear a watch. HE decided what time it was.

Chuck Norris didn't read books. He stared them down until he got the information he wanted.

Chuck Norris had no reflection, for there was only one Chuck Norris.

You get the point.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...I'm so bucked."

Meanwhile in Dusk's basement....

"Pinkie?"

"Yes Dusky?"

"Why did you have us gather the Cutie Mark Crusaders?"

"Because they're unstoppable, silly!"

"..."

"If anything happens to my little sister, you ain't gonna enjoy what I'm gonna do to you Pinkie," Applejack said.

"Why was I dragged into this?" Diamond Tiara asked. "I just wanted to go home!"

"Becuase you're a master of throwing tantrums and we'll need all the help we can get. Okay guys, I'm going to need a piece of parchment, a quill, a towel, a vial, some bandages, and a scalpal."

"What do you need those for, Pinkie?" Dusk asked. "Well more specifically, the last one?"

"Oh silly! I'm going to need all of those to perform the rite! Now light those candles like I asked!"

"Ffffiiiinnnee!"

Pinkie quickly got back to work carefully arranging the runes on the ground. There was a manic gleam in her eyes as she finished setting the boundary to the transmutation circle. "Just a little more and....there! Houston, we have lift off!"

"Pinkie, what does that-"

*Crack!!*

"My balls!"

[Not that it matters or anything, but what are you up to?] Pinkamena asked her counterpart. [I really don't see what the fuss with all of this is.]

Just preparing the universe for what I'm about to do. If I don't do this right, everypony you've ever known could die! Pinkie Pie stated.

[...]

...

[...]

...

[...]

...

[Please mess it up then.]

Why'd I want to do that, silly?

[...Nevermind.]

"Hey Pinkie, I've got the materials you wanted. Not that I know what in tarnation you're wanting them for, but whatever," Applejack said, trying her best not to look stupid.

"Oh thanks Aj!" Pinkie replied, quickly picking up the items.

"No problem, Sugarcube."

Everypony present watched in silent awe as Pinkie set up her materials for the coming ritual. She carefully placed the parchment in the center of the ring, eyeing it for a moment to make sure that it was a valid eight and a half by eleven piece of printer paper before taking the scalpal in hoof.

"Um Pinkie, what're you doing?" Dusk asked.

"Gathering the last ingredient."

The pink mare gouged the point into the end of her hoof, tearing along its length until it hit a satisfactory vein. Blood started dribbling profusely into a small vial as Pinkie gathered a sizable load of the reddish substance. When the vial was mostly full, Pinkie carefully placed the towel over the wound before reaching for the bandages.

"What the hay, Pinkie?!"

"Shh, I'm concentrating!"

"Pinkie, that was utterly-"

"I said ssshhhhh!!"

With careful focus, the mare dipped the quill into the blood vial before drawing out enough for what she was about to write. She knew she didn't have long with what they were about to face. She started scribbling down characters as she prepared the last part of the rite.

13

"Okay, everpony, when I scribble down the last part of this formula, I'm going to need you to all hold tightly onto either me or somepony holding onto me for this to work.

With a shaking hoof, Pinkie placed the tip of the quill on the paper before drawing the last numeral in the ritual.

13

0

The universe shifted around Pinkie as she divided by zero. The parchment was quickly replaced with a black hole as the universe regurgitated the physical impossibility. Fortunately for everypony, the wormhole was contained within the transmutation circle, opening a portal.

"Let's go!" Pinkie shouted, dragging everypony through the hole in time and space.

At the same time outside of Golden Oaks Library...

Spike was puffing heavily as he reached the door. The letters were a bit crinkled but otherwise unharmed as the young drake staggered through the doorway.

"I'm...home!"

At that very moment, he heard a loud tearing sound downstairs in Dusk's basement. Knowing something was up, Spike ran down the stairwell just in time to see everypony fly through a rift in reality itself before the universe fixed the seam.

"...Damnit."

Meanwhile on Earth...

*BBBBOOOOOOMMMM!!!!*

Rainbow Dash slammed through yet another wall as she tried to evade Chuck Norris and his amazing powers. Despite all the chemicals still floating around in her bloodstream, she was obviously outmatched by a factor of infinity.

"Why couldn't I have been born that awesome?!" she cried out in frustration as the invincible man walked calmly through the wreckage. The pegasus stumbled back onto her hooves as she prepared herself to fly through yet another wall.

"No."

Rainbow's wings froze as the solid sound of undiluted amazing hit her ears. All it took was one word from the axis of awesome for her to be rooted in place.

"Stay."

"N-no!"

"Silence."

She felt her mouth freeze shut at just the mention of quiet from him. Her world narrowed to a single point of light as he neared her. He was her love, her life, her everything.

"Obey."

Rainbow couldn't help but agree. This man was obviously the only thing worth following. His face was shrouded by light as he drew nearer, blurring out everything else in the room. She knew she was his, through and through.

"Listen."

She would. There wasn't any reason not to. Why had she even been trying to escape? No, escape was a poor term. What was there to escape from? He was perfection.

I wonder if he's a Wonderbolt.. she idly thought. Wait, what was a Wonderbolt? He didn't seem to be one, so apparently they didn't matter. All that mattered was the man before her. Chuck was love, Chuck was life.

"Follow."

"No, silly filly!"

A gigantic apple pie slammed into the face of the holy god before her. Chuck Norris reeled as delicious goodness smeared all over his face and into his eyes.

"Rainbow Dash!"

"Scoots?"

"C'mon Rainbow!"

It took a moment for her head to clear, but when it did Rainbow Dash realized that she was in the middle of a pile of rubble somewhere in the Hasbro facility. She looked around to find everypony present.

Pinkie was busy dodging Chuck's wild roundhouse kicks as Applejack prepared another pie to launch. Dusk was busy setting up some kind of spell system as Fluttershy and Rarity stood in front of the Cutie Mark Crusaders and...was that Diamond Tiara?

"How dare you strike this holy face with pie!" Chuck Norris cried out in rage, wiping the pie out of his eyes to get a clear target. "Not only have all of you broken the strictest of the Laws of Physics by coming here, but you have the audacity to sully my visage! Every single one of you shall die!"

"You gotta catch us first!" Pinkie said.

"Oh I will!" he replied, finally clearing enough of the gunk out of his eyes to see the pink mare. Recognition spread over his features. "YOU!!! I'll rip your entrails out and use them as-" He was cut off as Applejack slapped another pie into his face.

"Now Dusk!" Pinkie called out. The young stallion nodded before releasing the spell. Giant purple chains wrapped themselves around Chuck's limbs before anchoring themselves into the ground.

"No! You cannot bind me! I'M INVINCIBLE!!!!"

"I thought you were Chuck Norris!" Pinkie giggled. Chuck almost had the rest of the pie out of his eyes as he prepared himself to tear off his bonds.

"Aha! You can't defeat me!" He cried out as he tore off the chains. "I am God!" Another pie in the face and a new set of chains later saw 'God' right back where he started.

"Alright, DT! Work your charms!" Pinkie called out. The spoiled filly needed no more prompting before adopting her special talent: bitchcraft.

"WWWWAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! YOU RUINED MY DDDDAAAYYYY!!!! I'M GONNNAAA TELL MY DADDY AND HAVE HIM SUE YOU!!!"

"Oh no, not this!"

"I WANTED A CARIBBEAN ISLAND AND A NEW MANSION FOR MY BIRTHDAY BUT ALL I GOT WAS THE MANSION!!! WAAAAAHHHH!!!! WHY IS DADDY SO MEAN SOMETIMES? ALL I WANTED WAS AN ISLAND! WWWWAAAAAAHHHH!!!!"

"Please make her stop!"

"Now Applebloom! Sell him some apples!"

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"WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

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"WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"ENOUGH!!" Chuck screamed, blowing the shackles off of his body and wiping the gunk from his eyes. "I can't take any more of this from the lot of you! Go home already!"

"Okay!" Pinkie replied.

[That was surprisingly easy,] Pinkamena though. [I didn't honestly think that would work.]

"Of course it did, silly! The writer was just looking for some exposition on this chapter anyways and gave us free reign. Whatever we thought up would've worked! Why do you think you haven't been as psychotic this episode? It'd mess with the plot!"

"Pinkie, what are you talking about?"

*Crack!!*

"My balls!"

An hour later at Dusk's Basement...

During his annual visits to have his spare testicles removed, Spike had always needed some sort of outlet for his boredom. At first he'd tried his hand at art, from sculpting to painting to even nude posing. None of that particularly appealed however, and instead he found something more suited to the natural aggression and violence of a true dragon: Tae-Kwon-Do.

Years of practice had made the young drake very skilled at a variety of things, such as keeping balance on top of precariously high ladders, holding huge stacks of books twice his weight for hours, and a whole slew of other skills. One of those just happened to be headbutting.

This caused Spike to gain some skill at keeping his head intact after years of bashing it into almost everything in reach in frustration of dealing with his tyrant brother. He'd even kept a few cinder blocks handy just in case. Now happened to be one of those times where he was glad to have done so.

*Crack!!*

"Damnit Dusk!" he shouted before blasting his way through yet another concrete brick with his draconic skull. "You never bucking listen!"

*Crack!!*

"All I wanted to do was tell you!"

*Crack!!*

Just as he was about to place another block into smashing position, the room suddenly dropped several degrees in temperature. Having been around Dusk's experiments enough to know that usually meant something magical was going to happen, he stepped back and sat his newest block down.

Spike looked up in time to watch a portal open in the middle of the room. Rarity was busy whining to Fluttershy about how the rubble had gotten into her mane and Dusk was gently rubbing his crotch as the group heading back into Equestria.

"There you are!" Spike said excitedly, reaching over for the stack of letters Luna had sent. "I've been trying to get ahold of you guys all day! Here Dusk, read these letters. They're from Luna!"

"Not now, Spike. Can't you see we're all really tired?"

"But they're really important."

"Are they about the end of the world?" Dusk asked critically.

"Well no, but-"

"But nothing, they can wait until tomorrow."

"But-"

"Spike."

"Ffiiinnneee..."

"Hey everypony, the Great and Powerful Trixie was wondering what happened at the Young Flier's Competition?"

Everypony froze at that. "I wonder what did happen?" Rarity asked aloud. With that, everpony crowded into the living room to take a look at what went on back at the stadium.

"Breaking news from Cloudsdale! Apparently one of the athletes at this morning's competition disappeared right after winning the competition. Since she wasn't present for the award, it was instead defaulted to the runner up, a certain Leroy Wingkins."

The camera panned out to show a rather happy stallion hanging with the Wonderbolts before Dusk turned the television off. Everpony sat quietly for a moment, trying not to make eye contact with Rainbow Dash.

"You know what?"

Everypony turned to look their prismatic friend. She donned her cocksure grin as she looked back.

"I don't even care. After kicking plot on that royal badass back there, I don't really think those Wonderbolts look quite so awesome anymore."

"Heavens, Darling! Are you saying you don't want to be a Wonderbolt?"

"Pfff, as if! No, I think they couldn't handle my awesome. I faced Chuck Norris and won! No, I think I'll start my own team! It'll be so awesome!"

"Please tell me she's not," Applejack said, the sudden urge to facehoof taking over. "We'll never hear the end of this."

"Hey Rainbow Dash?" Dusk inquired, suddenly looking confused.

"Yeah, Hot Stuff?"

"Where's that vial of stuff I gave you earlier?"

And that, boys and girls, is how chickens are hatched.