Original Link:
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The group had to remain in the Mule Republic for five more days before all plans and arrangements were finally made. At least for now, it seemed like the donkeys would not be able to provide much military support, as they were now working on rewriting their laws. But this journey was by no means in vain. For their way back to the Crystal Empire, a few dozen scientists and mechanics volunteered to follow, assisting in getting past the Frozen North again and starting to work on connecting the elements of harmony with the crystal heart as soon as they would arrive.

During their stay with the donkeys, Twilight and Rarity had to learn just how many false prejudices they had. The Mule Republic was indeed a cultural citadel. A society rich with art, poetry, philosophy and knowledge. It wasn’t before this trip that Twilight had to find out with a little shock that an enormous number of the more intellectual books she had read were actually written by donkeys. Now, looking back, it became baffling to her how ponies ever even started thinking of donkeys as dull and stubborn. Perhaps it was due to the fact that they don’t talk back when being insulted and rarely ever correct anyone with false theories unless asked for an opinion. They were just too polite to toss themselves in random conversations and convince others that they were in the right. That is unless they were trained politicians, of course, whose jobs were to do exactly that for the greater good of the republic.

But still, despite all the positive experiences they all made while being with the donkeys, something kept concerning Twilight a bit: The speech Celestia gave. Hearing such depressing and negative words from her, of all ponies, was quite unusual. So far, there was just no opportunity to talk about this. But as nighttime began on the fifth day and the group returned to their hotel from the last meeting with the mule council, the purple mare knew she would get her chance.

“Well, this is getting quite promising,” Shining Armor began to recap. “Now we can be sure that the republic will say a good word for us to their allies. This surely will help us speed up the process of getting more to join us.”

“We can only hope the word gets around fast enough and that they actually are able to convince others to join us as well,” Cadence spoke. “We still have a few years left before the demons come, but we can’t afford to waste any time.”

“How are you holding out, Rarity?” Fluttershy wondered.

“I’m… ugh… I wished my nose would stop running…” Rarity replied, trying hard to not make this sound like she was complaining.

“I really think you should go to bed early today. How about I arrange you some vegetable soup?” Derpy offered.

“Oh, you are such a sweetheart. Thank you so much,” the sick unicorn accepted with a smile.

“Perhaps we should all head to our bedrooms. The way back will be very exhausting again and we need to start early if we want to find shelter in the Crystal Mountains before the strong afternoon blizzards come. None of us can afford to be unrested tomorrow,” Luna suggested.

“Good point. Don’t worry, I will stand guard during the night as usual,” Fluttershy offered.

With a short nod, everyone agreed and the group split up. Fortunately for Twilight, her room was right next to Celestia’s. Using the time they needed to reach their rooms, it finally gave her a moment to talk to the former demi-goddess in private.

“Um… Princess Celestia?” she started carefully.

“Celestia is enough, Twilight. You know that I am not really a princess anymore, now that I have no kingdom to rule over. Not to mention we know each other for ages now,” the white mare offered.

“It just doesn’t feel right, seeing that you were and in a sense still are my mentor,” Twilight stated.

“I would prefer it if you would see me as your friend and not as your superior from now on. After all, you are the head of the rebellion,” Celestia insisted.

“Well, if that is what you want… Anyway, I need to ask you something,” the purple mare began anew.

This time, Celestia did not respond. She just looked at Twilight, waiting for her to continue while they were still walking.

“I know it is a bit late, but there just wasn’t any time to ask you sooner… I have been watching you the last few days. You hardly ever talk and what you said during the first meeting with the council… Are you alright?” Twilight asked in worry.

“Quite alright, Twilight,” the white mare confirmed with a smile.

“Are you sure? I honestly was pretty shocked to hear such depressing words from you. You didn’t actually mean them, didn’t you? Or do you really think you will never get back on the throne of Equestria?” the purple mare wanted to know.

“I suppose my speech came out more depressing than I intended. I only wanted to be realistic and give the council an accurate description of the situation,” Celestia responded.

“Still, Prin- I mean… Celestia… I think some more optimism would do you good. We need to stand our ground and be absolutely certain that we can do this,” the purple mare insisted, causing Celestia to smile again.

“Don’t worry, my faithful student. If there is one thing I have total confidence in, it is you. You have proven more than just once that you are able to achieve which I never could, starting with rescuing my dear sister Luna. So long as you lead this rebellion, we will succeed,” her mentor spoke warmly.

This now caused Twilight to blush and look away in embarrassment. Such words always meant ten times more to her when they came from Celestia. After all, Twilight had been idolizing her for as long as she could remember. So wise, so regal, so patient and understanding. The purple mare still completely failed to understand why the BloodClaw Cult hated Celestia so much that they would even create lies like she started this ancient war against the demons. Then again, they were demon worshippers. These ponies would just believe anything those monsters would tell them. All the more reason why Celestia had to be put back on the throne as soon as possible.

“Twilight. Your nose,” Celestia stated suddenly.

“Huh? Oh gee. Don’t tell me I am bleeding again,” The purple mare spoke, torn out of her thoughts and then sighed. “Well, I better get my medication. Good night.”

“Good night,” the former demi-goddess spoke and aimed for her own door.

---

Just like before, Twilight was able to protect the entire group from the ice shards of the Frozen North, including the donkeys. But the larger the group, the slower it can travel. Especially now that Rarity got sick and used up all of her rubies, they had to rely on shelters and donkey machinery to keep them warm. One of them was carrying an entire small stove on his back, adorned with wires, crystals, gears and a pipe. It was built and enchanted in a way that it could create a small invisible field that trapped the heat once turned on. But while this was essential for the survival of the group, it also meant that they couldn’t get far before having to take another break and warm up again. Especially as the layers of snow began to get high, the group could hardly cover a mile before getting exhausted and subcooled again. Considering all this, they needed to make sure Rarity constantly remained close to the stove. None of them wanted her illness to grow any worse.

On their way, the ponies and reapers kept on having conversations with the donkeys. Sometimes, it just stunned them that they were living in a land so rich with resources. No other part of the world had such an extremely high concentration of gems. Hearing this made Rarity feel bad as to how recklessly she had been using them over the years. So many of her dresses were decorated with gems. So many had been used for combat in the more recent past. If there were other creatures capable of performing gemstone magic, they must have a hard time gathering just the basics to perform their talent, she kept thinking. Rarity had always been a mare of luxury, but never would she have thought that she truly was that wealthy, considering she could gather up whole saddlebags full of rubies with relative ease.

These and similar thoughts were frequently in the air as the group traveled or rested by the magical stove. A great help to keep their minds working, considering that this time it would easily take over a week of wandering through extremely low temperatures to get home.

---

As promised, the donkeys got straight to work once the group arrived in the empire. Even though Rarity’s illness did not get worse, traveling through the Frozen North again certainly did not help her. Even a week after they got home, which she mostly spent in bed with soup and tea, she was still coughing and fighting against her runny nose. But despite her condition, she did not want to miss out on any meetings of the rebellion circle. That evening again, she climbed out of her bed to participate. Out of respect for the health of the others, she was sitting a bit away from everypony else and covered her mouth and nose with a silky handkerchief.

“Are there still no updates?” Twilight asked in a mildly frustrated tone.

“You need to be patient, Twilight,” Celestia started. “It takes a couple of weeks alone for a message like ours to spread, even with the help of the Mule Republic. Then the other kingdoms first have to consider following our call. I would not expect any kind of response until at least a few months have passed.”

“A few months… Celestia, you know time is our enemy. If we don’t gather up enough allies before the attack, we are done for. We need to show the other intelligent species of this world just how urgent the situation really is and that we must act immediately,” the purple mare insisted.

“Blueblood is hovering his hoof above the world, ready to crush anyone trying to attack him,” Crystal Blossom began to explain. “Even though most empires still don’t even know what is happening here, those who do live in fear of his wrath. We must prove ourselves through actions first, to show that provoking Blueblood is worth the risk.”

“We are already escorting as many refugees as we possibly can and spy on Equestria,” Twilight stated swiftly.

“That is not enough, Twilight,” Luna began. “Externally, we still only look like a minor organization. Anyone can organize such missions and try to help on a smaller scale. Right now, the Mule Republic is the only one speaking in our favor. What we need is a loud and clear statement everyone can hear and see. We need to show that we truly mean to bring down Blueblood and that we are more than meets the eye.”

“The Wonderbolts still owe us favors for saving Spitfire, don’t they? How about we ask them for help?” Fluttershy suggested.

“Huh, why didn’t I come up with this?” the purple mare wondered, scratching her head.

“Honestly, Ah forgot about that mahself. Sounds like a good plan, though,” Applejack commented.

“What about our project? Any updates on the elements of harmony and the crystal heart?” Derpy wanted to know.

“The scientists are still busy trying to figure out how they work,“ Crystal Blossom started. “There are no official studies on them and due to their power, they were kept out of reach for everypony for a very long time.”

“So we will need to wait for months with that as well, I take,” Shining Armor commented.

“It seems like it. I do understand that we are all in a hurry, but there are things we can not rush. The artifacts in particular are so important to us that we just can not risk our plans to fail in the end because we rushed the research,” Crystal explained.

“I don’t like this… I don’t like this at all…” Twilight mumbled.

“Well, how about ya just keep focusin’ on something else? Ah mean gettin’ allies and the artefacts working is big and important and all, but there are other things we need to think about, too. I’d say, we should try gettin’ a few smaller villages back from Blueblood! If we can pull that off, it surely would make us look more impressive!” Applejack suggested.

“Even if we can do that, these outposts will be difficult to keep. I am not sure if the sacrifices of soldiers we would need for this are worth it,” Shining Armor retorted.

“You know, now that it is clear that there won’t be any progress for at least a month, perhaps we should just use that time to strengthen the rebellion. Gathering supplies, guiding refugees, training soldiers and maintaining connections seem the most plausible and safe things to do at the moment,” Twilight figured.

“Still, we should keep the Wonderbolts ready to take action, just in case we need to act swiftly,” Crystal suggested.

“Agreed…” the purple mare spoke, then let out a big yawn. “Okay, I think that is all. Unless anypony has anything else in mind, I would say we end this meeting here.”

All members of the circle shook their heads, confirming that the meeting was over. After a few goodnight wishes, all left the meeting hall again.

---

A couple of hours passed and it was well beyond midnight when Twilight Sparkle shifted around in her bed. Suddenly, her eyes shot open and she got upright, breathing heavily. But as soon as she realized that she had just woken up, she calmed down again.

“Another nightmare…” she mumbled, staring at her blanket.

At night, the decisions Twilight had to make took their toll on her. While frequently fighting and killing ponies during the day, she learned to see it as if it was nothing. But Fluttershy was right when she warned Twilight that murdering is unnatural for ponies and will haunt her, roughly a year ago. At night, when she was trying to sleep, she still frequently had nightmares of ponies sneaking up on her and trying to slit her throat. Whenever she would defend herself in her dreams and kill the aggressors, the families of those ponies would appear in front of her. Every time, it was the same. She saw the widows or widowers and their children cry, heard their desperation as they keep repeatedly questioning why she had taken away their beloved ones. Then she would realize just to how many ponies she had done this by now and hundreds, if not thousands of broken families would appear in front of her, all crying and blaming her for making the wrong choice.

Twilight was awake now. The dream was over, but it still kept going inside her head. She hated the moments when she became aware of how many ponies she was forced to kill so far, and the fact that there would still be a lot more to come. It was wrong. It was unnatural for her as a pony, yet it had to be done. Slowly, she closed her eyes and covered them with both front hooves before the tears began to flow.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she whispered while occasionally sniffling.

This was by far not the first time this happened. But like before, as soon as the first thoughts of regret went by, she could remind herself of why she had done all this. After just a few minutes, she always could catch herself and calm down again. Still, she did not want to go back to sleep immediately, afraid the exact same dream might return. So the purple mare climbed out of her bed, left her chamber and started wandering through the Crystal Palace.

As she walked up and down the corridors, her steps echoing against the crystal walls, she stared at her own reflection beneath her. Her mind was not sure what to think about. Some of her thoughts were in the past, in happy days long gone when she still had all of her friends and the only problems she had were wrapping up winter in time and writing weekly friendship reports. Others were in the present, considering all options of what could be done to support the rebellion. It were the latter thoughts which eventually dominated.

Twilight was unsatisfied. With pretty much everything. She so longed to make the world as she remembered it from her youthful years, before she knew about Maledictum Insania. Just like Celestia, all she aimed for was a world of harmony and she was willing to make sacrifices to get there. Still, all this barely brought her forward. Especially the results of the last circle meeting left her very unhappy. She wanted her plan of connecting the elements of harmony with the crystal heart to work. She wanted to have the entire world supporting her. If only she could think of anything else she could do to help. This situation in total, this rebellion… She wished it would be over soon. Nothing would make her more happy than to see this over one thousand years old conflict coming to an end.

The purple mare had left the palace by now and roamed through the streets. Nearly everyone else was sleeping. The pony refugees, the crystal ponies, the cattle and the donkeys were all resting inside the buildings. Only the reapers still seemed to be awake, as she could catch a few of them rushing by in the corners of her eyes. Apparently, they were observing Twilight, unsure if she truly was the original. That was alright, though. It proved that they were taking their job serious and paying attention.

The farther she went, the less thoughts were left roaming through her head and she began to just sleepily observe her surroundings, partially making it sort of a game out of trying to spot the hiding reapers. She was about to consider going back to her bed when she saw a light blue flash in the blizzard outside of the empire. After observing for a moment and realizing that the reapers remained relaxed, she judged that this was no threat and began to curiously investigate. Raising a small force field around herself, Twilight stepped into the magical storm rotating around the empire. Seeing as she had made a lot of experience with blizzards in this past month, she figured she would be able to pass through easily. But to her surprise, the storm was so powerful it nearly blew her away. Twilight figured she must have underestimated Crystal Blossom and her ice magic yet again.

With that name still in the back of her mind, Twilight was half amused and half expecting it when she reached the source of the lights and found said elder reaper mare. Crystal seemed to have created a hole in her own blizzard, which she used as a training ground. She was fighting about twenty snow golems with a large variety of ice spells, which she seemed to be raising herself. It was like shadow-boxing in magical form, since Twilight could observe that these golems had magical abilities themselves and were cooperating and creating plans in attempt to immobilize her. Quite an impressive display of skill, considering she did all this while simultaneously keeping the blizzard up around the empire. But as it was to expect from an elder reaper, Crystal quickly came to realize that she was being watched and dispelled the golems.

“Whom did you meet while preparing to attack the Canterlot BloodClaw church?” she wanted to know as confirmation this truly was Twilight Sparkle.

“Lady Truesight and Amber,” the purple mare answered.

“Still awake at this hour?” Crystal wondered.

“Awake again. Yet another night where the nightmares rob me of my sleep…” Twilight replied with a frustrated sigh.

“Wandering out here will not make up for it,” the light blue reaper mare stated.

“I just needed to get some fresh air and clear my head before going back to sleep. Anyway, you can cast quite a lot of spells at once and some of them are quite powerful. Aren’t you concerned demons might be watching you practise and learn what you are capable of?” Twilight wondered.

“Do not worry. I keep my strongest spells secret. You see, there are even far more destructive ice spells, capable of freezing whole landscapes. But I only use those in extreme situations,” Crystal explained.

“Ah, I see. Pretty interesting. Anyway, how do you manage to cast so many spells at once without letting the blizzard fade away? I can only imagine what kind of mental effort that must be,” Twilight commented.

“This actually is a very advanced trick only true masters of magic can pull off. No matter if I am awake or asleep, I constantly keep casting the blizzard spell in the back of my mind. It takes many years of practise and experience with the deepest possible meditative states to learn,” Crystal explained.

Twilight smiled shortly. But then she hung her head, closed her eyes and sighed audibly.

“You are still young compared to me, Twilight. Do not be so hard on yourself for not knowing or even being able to do this,” the reaper mare spoke.

“That’s not it, Crystal. I am just frustrated with everything. But the one I am most frustrated with is myself. To this date, I am the only known mortal being capable of utilizing arcane magic. I can easily be considered one of the most powerful magical creatures that ever existed. Yet, even though I have so much power, I can barely use it. I don’t know much more than how to create arcane force fields, weapons and bolts,” the purple mare responded.

“Again, you are being way too harsh on yourself,” the reaper mare started anew. “Do not forget that, despite the fact that you are now well adult at this point, you are still just a student in the arts of magic. With everything that happened, you were unable to study for a long time.”

“I know, but still. Just looking at what potential I have and how fast I can learn, I should be way more ahead. I am living with this ability for years now, yet I hardly advanced at all,” Twilight retorted, the frustration growing in her voice.

“Now listen to me, Twilight Sparkle. I myself had to study magic for decades before being able to use it properly. Even the great Starswirl did not begin to create his own spells before completing twenty years of study after graduating,” Crystal began.

“Oh? That’s something even I didn’t know! That means he must have gotten unusually old for a pony,” Twilight commented swiftly.

“Indeed. Considering all this, you are still incredibly gifted. Do not focus so much on your magical abilities alone and more on all the deeds you have done so far. No hero in the entirety of pony history could ever claim to have accomplished even nearly as much as you have to this point and you are far from done,” the light blue mare finished.

Twilight remained silent for a moment, staring at her front legs. But then she lifted her head again and smiled at the elder reaper.

“You know, you are a really good friend, Crystal Blossom. Whenever I feel down, you go out of your way to cheer me up again,” she commented.

“I do what I can, Twilight,” Crystal replied.

After smiling again, the purple mare approached and gave her friend a hug. Shortly after, her eyes wandered out into the blizzard and she seemed to dive into thoughts again. But before Crystal could say a word, an expression of determination returned to Twilight’s face and she turned back to her.

“You know what? You are right about me being unable to study for so long. I will use every moment of spare time I have to continue my training and gain a deeper understanding of magic,” she decided.

“So long as you are not overdoing it, this does seem like a good plan,” Crystal confirmed.

“Don’t worry. The rebellion will remain the most important thing to me. But it really is high time I hit some books again. I really miss reading and learning, too. Not to mention that every tiny bit of knowledge needs to be used to prepare for the battle ahead. But as for now, I think I will go back to bed,” Twilight explained.

“Have a good night,” Crystal spoke.

“You too, Crystal. See you tomorrow,” the purple mare spoke.

While Twilight went on her way back, Crystal Blossom sat down in the snow and closed her eyes to meditate. She still had to finish her own training routine before considering to sleep.