I've never felt better. Strolling through Ponyville was a nice change, it was far easier to appreciate the unique architecture like this than scurrying around in the dark like a rat. The best part? I didn't have to eat out of the trash anymore! With Applejack a bit more welcoming, I could pluck a few apples (hopefully) without having my ribs broken. Not sure how Big Mac would treat me, though judging by how he acted last time we spoke he's absolutely terrified of me.

Heh...the big tough stallion, afraid of a bald monkey.

Anyways...where was I? I'd wandered around Ponyville for quite a while, just lost in thought...where was I, exactly? I never really had time to make a map of the place.

Ah well. Time to explore! If I remember correctly, Golden Oaks Library is towards the center of town. Sooo I just gotta find out where the center of town is! I've always wanted to talk to Spike, he seemed like a pretty chill dude. I looked around, trying to find anypony to give me directions.

Carrot Top? No, she throws things at me.

Colgate? Hey, maybe I could get my teeth cleaned! She was a dentist, right? "Hey! Are you a dentist?" I shouted to the mare across the street. One look at me, and the unicorn squeaked, took off inside, and locked her door.

Guess not. Ah well, moving on! I could always just wander around until I find something familiar. And that is exactly what I did. Most of the houses looked the same, but as I walked I began to notice fewer and fewer ponies out and about. I didn't think much of it, but I couldn't ask for directions anymore. Okay, looking for familiar landmarks... Thatched roof house, thatched roof house, dirt road, more thatched roof houses...why are all the shutters closed?
-----

A frantic pounding on the library door drew Spike away from his dusting. Sliding down the ladder and opening the door, he was almost thrown to the ground by the one-pony stampede rushing past. "Hey, watch it!" The drake shouted, just barely regaining his balance before falling on his rump. Closing the door, he rolled his eyes. "What's the rush?"

The mare stood in the center of the library, not acknowledging Spike's existence. "Princess Twilight! Princess Twilight, there's a monster in Ponyville!" Spike recognized her, and immediately sighed in annoyance. Roseluck, one of the three flower-sisters, was the worst drama-queen he had ever seen. The center of Ponyville's gossip ring and the first to panic at...well, anything, she had sent the entire town into an uproar more times than he cared to admit. What is it, another herd of bunnies? 'Oh, the horror!'

"She's not here, she's up in Canterlot," Spike huffed, arms crossed. As if seeing him for the first time, Rose jumped and turned to the little dragon. "You're welcome to wait, though."

"I, umm, I...no thanks!" She tore off out into Ponyville again, leaving the door wide open. Spike shook his head and shut it, sighing dejectedly.

Four years, and there are STILL ponies that freak out... He was drawn out of his sulking when the door slammed open again. Growling and turning, he bared his fangs in frustration. "Make up your mind, will you?!" His expression dropped as soon as he saw who had entered, however. "Twilight!" He ran towards the upset-looking alicorn, his anger traded for concern. "...Wow, you don't look so good. What happened?"

"I don't wanna talk about it..." She groused, heading directly for the stairs. "Did you clean up like I asked?"

Spike nodded, standing a little taller. "Every last thing! Oh, and Roseluck came by a minute ago, talking about some monster in Ponyville." His expression soured, and he muttered, "Couldn't even stop to say 'hi', apparently..."

Twilight perked up, raising an eyebrow. "Did she say what it looked like?"

"Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive! Stayin' alive!"

"...Spike, lock up the library."
-----

"Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive! Stayin' alive! Ah,ah, ah, ah, sta-...THERE you are!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms up. I grinned, walking up to the Golden Oaks Library, knocking on the door. "Hey, Twilight! You in there? Can we talk for a minute?" My request was met with hushed speech and scuffling, so I knew there was at least two people in there. "Look, I know things didn't go well last time, but I'm sorry for trying to hit you. Can I come in?"

This time I distinctly heard a voice whisper "shh! If he thinks we're not home, he'll leave!"

I grinned. "No I won't! Not until I talk to you." I tried the doorknob, and to my surprise, it opened. I shrugged and stepped inside, looking around. "Huh, never actually been inside. Looks a lot more impressive than the show." I sniffed, closing my good eye. "Ohohohoh, and I love the smell of a fireplace..."

Twilight turned to glare at the poorly hidden dragon. "I said lock up the library..."

"The door doesn't have a lock!" He shouted, drawing my eye. I smiled and waved, a wide grin splitting my face in half. Twilight moved between us, glaring at me. I snorted at the scrunched up muzzle, putting a fist to my mouth to stifle the giggles. Oh God she looks hilarious!!!

"Is something funny?" She growled, pawing at the floor with one hoof.

I. Fucking. Lost it. "Baahahahahaaaa!!!" I cackled, falling flat on my ass. "Ohgod, ohgod YOUR FACE!!!" I wiped a tear from my good eye, exhaling heavily. "You ponies are so adorable when you try to be intimidating." I tried to stand, but was overcome by a sense of weightlessness. I flailed as I was plucked off the ground, the world colored in a purplish-magenta hue. "W-who-oa!" I spun, quickly getting dizzy. "This is awesome!" And then I was back on the floor. Or rather, on my face. Which was on the floor. "Oww..."

I heard a pained groan from the mare, pushing myself to my knees to see her putting a hoof to her head. "How much do you weigh?" She moaned, shaking her head and glaring at me.

I shrugged. "Probably ninety, a hundred pounds. I should be twice that at my height, but I've been malnourished and starved almost to death for a few years."

She shook her head, the harsh expression never leaving her face. "I just used enough magic to raise a boulder the size of this library, and I still dropped you. That's impossible!"

I stood, dusting off my toga. "Well, maybe you just wanted to see me fall on my face?"

"I'd drop you from higher."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "What's your beef with me, anyway? You were like this from day one, did I shit in your cereal or something?"

"Eugh..." I ignored Spike's outburst, staring curiously at Twilight. The mare shuddered for a moment, before responding.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. In a few minutes, you won't be my problem anymore. Spike, take a letter!" I moved to the desk, pointedly resting my hand on the pile of paper.

"Yeah, you kinda do have to explain this to me." I grinned, tilting my head. "Why is the princess of friendship so reluctant to make a friend?"

"Get out of the way." She ordered, lowering her head and pointing her horn at me.

I chuckled, crossing my arms. "Oh, what? Are you gonna throw a book at me?" I pushed off the desk and walked up to her, crouching down to eye-level. "Listen Sparklebutt, I'm not sure why I'm in such a good mood, but I don't wanna waste it. If we can both stay calm and talk this out, I'm sure we can reach some sort of understanding."

Before she could respond, I heard a deep inhale and my world exploded into a bright, sparking green.