“How do I do it?”

Bucky studied Rising Star carefully, focusing his remaining eye upon the colt. Rising Star had come to him not too long after he had returned to his room to study, wanting to talk to him. Now, once again, Bucky found himself in what was going to be his makeshift laboratory, talking to a pony.

“I mean, how do I make each one of them feel loved? I am scared out of my mind Bucky… I don’t want one to feel more loved than the other. I don’t want to feel like I am playing favourites. I want all three of them to be happy. This pressure is driving me crazy. I am so worried that Loch Skimmer is jealous of Sparkler and I because Sparkler and I know each other better and we are closer, and I really have been trying to get to know Loch better and Ripple is off limits, but I still try to make her feel special, and I am so afraid that I am going to screw up and all three of them are going to hate me,” Rising Star said, his last few sentences practically panted out as he slipped into a panic.

Bucky eased his backside down to the floor and sat on his haunches and the cool stone felt pleasantly soothing to his many mangled and disfigured places.

“How do you do it? I mean, you seem so close to Berry and Derpy? How do you divide yourself between the two of them? And now there is Lyra and Bon Bon. And Thistle. I don’t understand how you can take all of this on and not fall apart like I am about to do,” Rising Star continued, becoming more and more frantic with each word.

“Calm down Rising Star,” Bucky said in a low voice.

Rising Star took a few deep breaths and tried to calm himself, but the young colt remained frazzled. “I don’t want to fail them… I barely know Loch and Ripple, but I find myself loving them, I really do. I love them enough to know that I don’t want to hurt them,” Rising Star said, now trying to speak slowly and carefully.

“Derpy and Berry both have very different needs. I try to fulfill those needs. You can’t worry about dividing yourself among them, I worried about the same thing, really I did, and then I realised that they didn’t want half of me between the two of them, they wanted all of me. The trick to keeping them both happy was to give myself over to them completely, and then find what makes each one of them happy. Berry and I engage in more intellectual pursuits. She’ll talk my ear off if I let her, and I will do the same to her. With Derpy and I, talking isn’t as important. Derpy has more physical needs, and I am not talking about sex either. With Berry, a conversation keeps her happy. With Derpy, it is a nuzzle or touch. Also, to keep Derpy happy, I have to look after her foals… that is probably the single most important part of my end of our relationship, being good to the foals,” Bucky explained carefully and patiently.

“I bet this is really hard on Derpy right now. You being all covered in burns and being injured. No wonder she seems stressed,” Rising Star said thoughtfully.

“So you do understand,” Bucky replied with a slow nod of his head.

“So this is why she snatches any foal within reach and tries to cuddle them. I am guessing that she really wants to hold you,” Rising Star stated, one eyebrow now raised as he struck a thoughtful pose.

“Yes,” Bucky agreed. “Her needs are remarkably simple. Berry’s needs are a bit more complex. Lyra and Bon Bon, well, in time, I will find ways to make them happy and I will do what I can to make them feel wanted and needed in our herd. And Thistle… well, I still don’t know how Derpy feels about Thistle, but I hope she relents and allows Thistle to join us. I think she will. And in time, I will figure out her needs and what I need to do to provide for them.”

“Loch is a bit more physical than Sparkler I think,” Rising Star said in a low voice. “There has been some really awkward moments where she presses up against me and I feel panicky… I want to be close to her, I want to get to know her, but when those moments happen, I tense up and I panic, and I don’t know how to act. I am not even sure why I react the way I do. I keep thinking it is because I haven’t known her long enough. This is really difficult to talk about,” Rising Star muttered. The frustrated colt puffed out his cheeks and took a few deep breaths. “Part of it is… well, you know, after this talk, I am worried that things will not be the same between you and I, and I am scared out of my mind right now, but here goes. With Sparkler, I can be close to Sparkler. We cuddle together and we’ve spooned a bit, and I have mostly behaved myself. There have a been a few moments of arousal if you know what I mean, but I am comfortable with Sparkler. With Loch on the other hand, when she rubs up against me, with the way she moves… how she moves, the way she walks, I have a very hard time being a good colt when she flops out against me… uncontrollable boners… I mean, there is something about her that… that… something about her that just makes me so very aroused, but I am not comfortable being so aroused around her, I don’t want her thinking I am a horny bastard that just wants her around for sex, but it is so very hard to control myself when she comes near, and I am worried that she feels I am pushing her away. I mean, I am in a really tight spot. On one hoof, she really turns me on, on the other hoof, I don’t want her to think poorly of me. Yet I am pushing her away from me, and I know I am doing it, and I keep constructing all of this horrible scenarios in my mind of all the horrible things she must think of me, and I don’t know how to talk to her about-”

“Rising Star… stop,” Bucky interrupted.

Rising Star fell silent and took a few deep inhales and exhales.

“Tell Loch the truth. Just tell her everything you just told me, but try to trim back the words a bit. Let her know that there is something about her that really turns you on, explain to her that you aren’t trying to be a pervy bastard, and then the two of you will be on even footing. Let her know that you find her desirable, but that she means more to you than just a sexual object. Just be your poetic self. Let her know that you find her beautiful and that she has this effect on you… she will appreciate the fact that you find her desirable and that she has the power to give you ‘uncontrollable boners’ that makes you feel awkward,” Bucky explained.

“I am worried that Sparkler will be jealous though. I can mostly behave myself around Sparkler. There has been a few, uh, incidents between us, but I have been able to control myself mostly. Loch on the other hoof, hot damn,” Rising Star muttered.

“So have a talk with Loch and make sure Sparkler is present. Explain yourself to both of them. Make sure you let Sparkler know that you don’t want her to be jealous. Just be honest. Let them know that you respond to both of them in different ways,” Bucky stated.

“So you want me to have both of them present and then tell them that one of them gives me uncontrollable boners… but the other doesn’t?” Rising Star asked.

“Yes,” Bucky replied.

“And what do I do when they kill me?” Rising Star questioned.

“If they kill you, then they obviously didn’t love you as much as you thought,” Bucky replied in sage tones.

“And there is the question of what we are going to do to uh, well, you know, consummate our marriage. Who goes first and all that. I am so scared that one will resent the other and I don’t know what to do about this whole mess,” Rising Star blurted out in a nervous high pitched voice that cracked several times in an adolescent squeak.

“If you are careful and patient, and if you keep in mind that each of you are supposed to love one another, all of these things will sort themselves out. After we were married, it was Derpy who took my virginity. Berry was with us and eased us both through those first awkward moments. Afterwards, things just happened. We are so focused on making each other happy that we don’t really keep score on who is doing who and how many times. We don’t hide sex from one another, and make sure that the third always knows that the other two are getting busy. We’ve all been together as a threesome and I have also had private time with each of them. We’ve managed to sort everything out. Jealousy is not an issue for us. I will admit, I am worried about adding Thistle into the mix. We’ll have to establish boundaries and explain our expectations to one another,” Bucky explained, trying to smooth over the colt’s frazzled nerves.

“I am not ready to be an adult yet,” Rising Star confessed. “I thought I was. A few months ago, I would have told you that I was. I would have told you how mature I was, how suave I was, how sophisticated I was. I thought I was so grown up. Now, I wake up and I am afraid. I wake up and there are three lives that I am responsible for. I was barely responsible for my own life… my mother cleaned my room. She fixed my meals. My mother looked after all of my needs. But now… now there are three lives that require that I be responsible. When I get home, I am going to have to find some way of feeding them. Keeping a roof over their heads. And school. I have no idea how I am going to manage all of this,” Rising Star mumbled as his eyes began to water.

“Rising Star, you don’t need to worry about all of that,” Bucky soothed.

“YES I DO!” Rising Star snapped.

“No, you don’t. When we get home, we, as in Derpy, Berry, and I, we are going to talk to your parents. And then you and your herd are going to stay with us. And you are going to continue school, and there will be food, and a roof over your heads so you don’t need to worry so much,” Bucky explained patiently.

Rising Star broke down completely and the tears finally came. He cried, heaving loud sobs wracking his body, and Bucky sat silently watching him, saying nothing, and allowed the colt to let it all out. After several minutes, Bucky rose from where he was sitting, took a few small steps, sat down beside Rising Star close enough to be touching, and wrapped a foreleg over Rising Star’s withers.

“Look, Sparkler told me about your plans to be a teacher,” Bucky whispered. “And it is a good plan. And I am going to make sure that it happens for you. You have my word.”

“You shouldn’t have to be responsible for us,” Rising Star said between sobs.

“Well, I am. You did a brave thing Rising Star. You didn’t have to be responsible for Loch Skimmer and Ripple. But you made that choice. And now, I am choosing to be responsible for you. And you are going to be okay. There is going to be some rough moments, but you will get through this. You will be a good husband. One day, you will probably be a good father, but that is a long way off. But for now, be a colt. Love them. Be with them. Don’t worry about all of those things you’ve been worrying about, just enjoy your time with them. Enjoy your youth together. Make sure you use some means of birth control when you finally take your relationship to the next level,” Bucky said as he continued to try to make Rising Star feel better. “Spend some time laughing about those uncontrollable boners together,” he added teasingly.

Rising Star chuckled, cutting off his own sobs. He wiped his eyes with his foreleg and offered a weak smile.

“You know, there was a time in my life when I couldn’t even say the word ‘boner’ without having a total neurotic breakdown,” Bucky quipped.

“Does it feel funny offering sex advice to the colt that is married to the filly that you consider your daughter?” Rising Star asked.

“Oh yes indeedy,” Bucky answered right away. “But thankfully that colt I also consider my son.”

Rising Star sniffled a bit before replying. “Thank you,” he murmured in a low whisper.

Author's Notes:

The 'talk.'

I have been waiting for this for quite some time. Bucky and Rising Star are both in similar positions and have a bit more in common than one might think. I've really wanted to showcase their relationship, and this talk has been a long time in the making. I started formulating this conversation about the same time that I was writing the chapters of Bucky's convalescence.

They're both trailblazers in a sense, going into uncharted territory. The simple truth is, Bucky is almost as lost as Rising Star is, he is still putting things together as they happen, and that is made clear in this chapter. He is willing to share what he has learned though.

And, we get to see both of them as they really are. I've been waiting a long time to get this chapter into print.