“Boadicea… what are you doing in my room… again?” Sentinel asked as he stood in his own doorway. The black griffoness cub was lounging on his bed, using his pillows, and was reading a book. At least it wasn’t one of his journals. For this, Sentinel was relieved. “I feel funny having you in my room. I don’t want accusations, this worries me.”

“You worry too much.” The griffoness cub stretched, spread her wings, and folded her book shut. “I asked Yew Wood if I could come and visit you in your room. She made me give an honourable oath that I would behave myself and then she took me at my word.”

“Uh huh.” Sentinel’s reply came out as a grunt. He cut left, heading towards his desk. It had been a very long day for him, filling out letters, escorting Diamond Tiara and Sweetie Belle home, sniffing out a produce thief—his warm bed was now occupied by Boadicea, who was staring at him with wide black eyes. He turned his chair around to face the bed, climbed up, and sat down.

“I just wanted to talk. It’s been a long day for me and I have a lot on my mind,” Boadicea said, her beak making clicking sounds when it moved. The griffoness cub propped her head up in her talons, resting her elbows on one of Sentinel’s pillows. “I like your bed. It smells like you. When I lay here, I want to nest.”

“Uh…” Sentinel’s mouth fell open and he was at a complete loss for what to say in return. He stared, mouth open, looking very much like a confused fish. A confused fish with a mouthful of sharp teeth.

“You’re kinda cute when you do that. Diamond Tiara is right.” Boadicea did her best to fluster Sentinel and tried batting her eyes at the colt, doing her best to follow Diamond Tiara’s instructions. She cleared her throat and then she spoke in a low voice, “Anyhow… I wanted to talk to you about a practical issue.”

“Practical issue?” Sentinel sounded more like a squeaky toy than a colt when he replied. He felt his ears growing hot and then he had the most peculiar feeling that he was naked. More than anything else, he wanted to cover himself up. He adjusted his front legs, tucking them between his hind legs, and sat up straight, using good posture.

“Sentinel, I spent a lot of time sitting in a small stone cell. I had very few ways to pass the time. I plotted escape, I plotted revenge, and I played with myself.” Boadicea spoke without moving her beak this time, her crest was flat against her head, and only her wings showed any emotion as they rustled against her sides.

Coughing, Sentinel almost choked. He sucked in wind, making it worse, and then let everything in his lungs out in a pained wheeze as his ears pinned back against his skull.

“Sentinel, I know what it is like to have urges. I know you have urges. I remember that day that you reacted to me. And I just wanted to make it known that I have urges and that you have urges and that we might be able to help one another,” Boadicea said, being blunt.

“This is not just some practical matter,” Sentinel replied in a raspy voice.

“Why not?” Boadicea asked.

“Because.”

“Because is not a reason. Yew Wood tells me that because is avoiding the issue.”

“I can’t just… do things with you. That would be wrong. We should love one another—”

“What does love have to do with anything? I’m infatuated with you… I’ll admit, I have a heavy crush on you, and that’s enough for me for now. It’s no different than scratching an itch. It is just satisfying a physical need. I do it in the shower, and I know from talking to your sisters, that no matter how quiet you try to be that you—”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence!” Sentinel blurted out.

“I’m not ashamed of this and you shouldn’t be either!” Boadicea shouted back.

“Keep your voice down!”

“You keep your voice down!”

“Fine.”

“Okay then.”

“Look, Boadicea, we can’t just… do what you are suggesting.” Sentinel tilted his head back and looked at the ceiling, unable to look at Boadicea on his bed.

“Why not?” Boadicea stared at Sentinel, her eyes almost unblinking.

“Because… this is an act of love—”

“But love can come later. You have strong urges. I know all about your hunting. I’ve been watching you. Stalking you. I’ve been hunting you. This would allow you to work out your frustrations and I could work out my frustrations and we’d both be happier. For now, it would just be going through the motions. We could sort out our feelings later.” Boadicea took a deep breath and waited for Sentinel’s response.

“No.” Sentinel shook his head, still staring at the ceiling, refusing to look at the griffoness cub on his bed. “Nope. We shouldn’t even be talking about this.”

“It was Diamond Tiara’s idea actually. She’s worried about you. She loves you so much and I love hearing her talk about you.” Boadicea’s crest rose, a few black feathers now protruding.

“I… I don’t believe that Diamond Tiara would say that.” Sentinel raised his hoof and began to rub his temple. Yet, as much as he didn’t want to admit it, he could believe that Diamond Tiara might talk about it.

“Back to the matter at talon… you have a need. I have a need. This is a very practical arrangement. We sneak off someplace, you tug my tail, I say yes, and we both have our first time with one another. You get to practice with me, because I’m a tough little birdy, and you can figure out how this is done… that way, when it comes time to shag Diamond Tiara, you don’t have to worry about being gentle or how it's done or worry that you might be too rough. You’ll know what you are doing and everything will be—”

“Stop, please, stop… I don’t want to raise my voice…” Sentinel covered his ears with both front hooves and then realised that he was no longer covering himself up with said front hooves.

Boadicea, realising that Sentinel was upset, took a deep breath and remained silent, allowing time for the air to clear. She watched him, her eyes locked on his face, and not on what he had been trying to hide during the conversation.

Overwhelmed, Sentinel could not think of any words to say. He squeezed his eyes shut, dropped his forelegs, resumed his proper sitting position, and tried to drive Boadicea’s seeming logic out of his mind, trying to find fault with it. He would never be able to forgive himself if he hurt Diamond Tiara, even once. He knew how he was. He thought about his hunt, killing winter hares. The scent of blood. What if Diamond Tiara bled and he caught of a whiff of it? Could he trust himself? It took everything he had to repress his inner nature, but what about those moments when he let his guard down? Sentinel knew that he was a creature that could pulverise other lesser creatures, and almost all creatures were lesser to a lunar pegasus. He lived in a world where walls had to be respected, even though he could smash right through them. They were barriers, put up for a reason. He thought about the constant nagging need to destroy everything around him, a need he kept muffled by creating.

“Sentinel, nothing says that we have to do anything now, tonight. Or even tomorrow. Or even a week from now. I just want to let you know, the offer remains open. Diamond Tiara and I both talked about this for a long time, multiple times, and it was very difficult for her. She and I are very, very close. We’re besties. And Sentinel, I gotta tell you, she loves you. This ain’t no crush, this is no case of playground love, she’s planning out her entire life around you,” Boadicea said to Sentinel in a soft voice. She watched a tear roll down Sentinel’s cheek and then felt a growing lump in the back of her throat. She hadn’t wanted to make him cry.

“What if I hurt you? You’re my friend… I… planned to have my first time with Moonbow. She’ll be tough enough to take it if something goes wrong… Boadicea, you don’t know what I’m like… or what I have to hold back—”

“Don’t even tell me about what I don’t know! Let me tell you what you don’t know! I’m a hunter griffoness… every time I watch one of the little foals go running past me on the floor, I have to use every ounce of will to hold back my instincts. I want to pounce on them, catch them… hunt them. It isn’t even about killing… I just want to hunt them and play with them. And I hate myself for feeling it because it feels like I am betraying a solemn oath that I made to Lugus just because I think about doing it and my desire… my need to hunt stuff! I’ve even felt that way one day when Diamond Tiara took off running from me after she said ‘tag, you’re it!’ and then off she went and I wanted more than anything to run her down, pounce, take her down, and… and… I can’t even keep talking about this!”

“I’m sorry… I didn’t know.” Sentinel opened his eyes and looked at Boadicea. The feathers around her eyes were damp, clumped together, and sticking to her face. He felt a growing sense of shame, not taking the ‘hunter’ in ‘hunter griffon’ as serious as he should.

“I love Peekaboo so much… and all the others. I would kill myself if I ever hurt them. I would find a sword to fall upon. I feel so ashamed. I feel ashamed of what I am,” Boadicea said.

“I know what you mean… when I was eating a big, fat winter hare, I couldn’t help but think that my littlest sisters were about the same size. It eats me up inside, that I think about stuff like that.” Sentinel found his eyes locked on Boadicea’s eyes and he could not look away.

Sentinel slipped down from his chair, his eyes never leaving Boadicea. He approached the bed, watching her as she watched him, and he saw her tail swish once across his blankets. He lept up into the bed, sat down beside her, and then, hesitant, he pulled her close to him, wrapping one foreleg and both of his wings around her. He felt her resist for a moment, she was trembling, and when he felt her relax, he pulled her even closer.

He felt her head resting upon his shoulder, in the crook of his neck, and he could feel something wet up against his shaggy pelt. He patted Boadicea on the back as he felt her forelegs wrap around his neck and his body, one of them slipping around his barrel, just above his wings. They sat on the bed, clinging to one another, and Sentinel remained quiet.

The silence was powerful.

Boadicea, feeling warm and content, discovered a new pleasure. The powerful urge to nest, almost an itch, felt as though it had been scratched a little. She wiggled closer to Sentinel, pressing her face into his short, shaggy neck, and she could feel his heart beating against his ribcage, she felt every beat with her own fluffy girth, against her own ribs. She felt his foreleg wrap around the lower part of her body, just below her ribs, pulling her closer against him. She felt a dizzy thrill as her lower half, her hips, brushed up against his stomach. He was hugging her from her side, and she felt both safe and secure in his embrace.

“I don’t want you to break your oath to Yew Wood,” Sentinel whispered.

“We’re behaving,” Boadicea replied. “Please don’t let go of me. I need this.”

Sentinel squeezed a little more. “We should talk more. Maybe we could hunt together.”

“I’d like that. I’m still growing in my flight feathers.” Boadicea cuddled up a little closer to Sentinel, almost feeling sleepy and feeling quite content. “Thank you, Sentinel.”

“For what?”

“You never mind that. A girl has to keep some sense of mystery. But thank you.”

“I’ll never understand females.”

“No. You will not. If you start to figure us out, Diamond Tiara and I will have to change our tactics.” Boadicea let out a tearful giggle. “You know, I think I understand why so many griffons… hunter griffons, went bad.”

“You do?”

“It’s hard to fight your instincts. That takes effort. Work. Willpower. It’s easier to give in. It’s hard living around ponies. It takes work. Hard work. And you have to guard your thoughts. Everything looks like food. Some griffons… some griffons just don’t have willpower. Or love.”

“Yeah, I believe you’re right,” Sentinel said, his hoof rubbing up and down Boadicea’s spine as he continued to hold her close.

“Sentinel, I want to love so I’ll have a constant reminder of what I’ll lose.”

“I already do that.”

“That makes sense, Sentinel. I guess you have that part figured out.”

Tilting his head down, Sentinel kissed Boadicea on top of her head. “I could add you to the list of things I love, I suppose.”

“I’ll add you to my list… and maybe… maybe we could talk about this again? It makes me feel better,” Boadicea whispered, shivering from the touch of Sentinel’s lips against her sensitive crest feathers. She did her best to ignore something hard stabbing into the soft flesh just below her ribs.

“I think I’d like that,” Sentinel replied. He cleared his throat. “Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to go take a very cold shower. You may remain here if you would like. Try not to mess up my room while I am gone.”

“Do you really have to go? I could help you…”

“Boadicea… it wouldn’t be right. You made an oath.”

Author's Notes:

And so concludes the Sentinel chapters. All part of one long day.

Have fun!