“You’re an earth pony. Why are you an earth pony?” Fever Cure asked his companion, Mask in a low voice as they trotted down the road together.

“Nopony suspects an earth pony,” Mask replied in a low voice, giving his companion a sidelong glance as they went down the sidewalk.

Glancing over at a Baltimare landmark, the Milkmaid Oats Company, Fever Cure shook his head. “That is so tribalist that I don’t even know what to say.”

“It’s not tribalist, it is pointing out the obvious. Nopony suspects an earth pony. They don’t have magic and they can’t fly. It is the perfect disguise. Just another average run of the mill earth pony.” Mask scowled as he traveled down the sidewalk with his friend and fellow investigator. “I have earth pony friends… some of my best friends are earth ponies.”

“Do you even know how tribalist that sounds?” Fever Cure asked.

Nodding, Mask grimaced and his ears pinned back against his skull. “Yes, right after I said it, I was aware of how it sounded. Now shut up, before you make more tribalist sounding stuff come out of my mouth with your accusations.”

Now grinning, Fever Cure’s form rippled and shimmered, becoming that of an earth pony. A look of insufferable smugness crept over his face and he gave Mask a teasing glance. “It only makes sense that I’m an earth pony as well. Earth ponies stick together and if one earth pony is inconspicuous, then two earth ponies are a spot of invisibility.”

“Jerk.” A reluctant grin spread over Mask’s face.

“I know,” Fever Cure replied. “Endovelicus Pharmacological Research Labs is up ahead. Be ready. We’re going to walk in the front door. We’re both agents from the city, there to check up on… oh cheese and crackers, what were we supposed to check on again?”

“We’re there to perform a survey on if the postal services to the various departments of the building are satisfactory—”

“Right, so we can have a look around at the various departments, case the building, and get to know its layout, so that way when we return later, we’ll have an easier time,” Fever Cure said, going over the plan.

Mask grinned. “Leave the talking to me, I have a way with ponies…”

“This place is a dump.” Sparkler looked up into the cobwebby rafters up above her, squinting to see in the dim light. Sunlight shone in through several holes in the roof. “I suppose the price is right though.”

Looking around, Flash Sentry said nothing. He stood in the middle of the floor. The building was tall but all of the floors were missing. The old windmill had potential. The heavy wooden beams were still in good condition and the outer walls were still solid. It needed new shingles and the inside was a real mess; one might even call it unsalvageable. On first glance, it seemed that way.

“You can’t beat the price. The Ponyville Historical society is giving this to us… but it does seem stupid to have a windmill as a police station. Do we really have to keep the windmill thingy on the outside?”

“Yeah, we do… if we accept this place that is,” Flash Sentry replied. “Having the house is nice, but that really doesn’t serve as a police station all that well. This place is huge on the inside, I mean, just look around… We can set everything up in here… the telegraph office, public records, a complaint department, and there is a sizeable cellar down below that was used for grain storage. We can turn that into a jail so we don’t have to ship local dimwits off to Canterlot when they need to sleep something off or need a little time to think about what they’ve done.”

“Over four thousand square feet including the basement. Seems large now, but I bet it will feel cramped later.” Sparkler used her magic to begin clearing away cobwebs from the rafters and support struts up above her. “The hatch up there… what’s that for?”

“Grain hatch. Friendly pegasi would carry in sacks of grain from outlying farms,” Thunderlane replied.

“How do you know that?” Sparkler gave Thunderlane a blank stare and waited for an answer from the charcoal grey stallion.

“I paid attention to what the historical society ponies were saying when they gave us their presentation.” Thunderlane looked upwards at the hatch, which was hanging on one hinge. “That would be a great place to dispatch our fliers. Also be a good place to have a mooring clip for the hot air balloon and the airship we’ll be getting.”

“Airship.” Flash Sentry snorted. “It’s a rowboat attached to a glorified hot air balloon that has a pedal powered propeller.”

“Still useful for aerial surveillance.” Thunderlane looked at the spot where the old millstone used to be. There was still a large hole in the floor where the mounting post was. “Cherry Berry is getting her own airborne division. She’s proud of it, don’t spoil it for her.”

“So tell me,” Sparkler said to the two stallions with her. “Who is getting spider eviction duties?” She held up a spider that had an abdomen the size of a very large grape in front of Thunderlane, who began screaming like a traumatised filly at the sight of it.

“Arachnophobes.” Flash Sentry shook his head as a somewhat amused smile appeared upon his muzzle. “Thunderlane, help Sparkler clear out the spiders, will you?”

After folding up the newspaper, Berry Punch set it down upon the kitchen table, placing it between the coffee carafe and the pitcher full of sweet cream. She stared at the plate of scones, feeling hungry but not in the mood to eat, and she leaned forwards over the table, resting herself on her forelegs, taking some of the pressure off of her spine. Her frown did not go unnoticed and Berry Punch saw Lyra looking at her with questioning eyes.

“Have you read it?” Berry Punch asked, her eyes glancing down at the paper.

Lyra shook her head. “Not yet. Do I want to?”

Shrugging, Berry Punch replied, “You might. No real bad news, but the paper does a lovely job of placing everything into perspective. Over thirty thousand troops being assembled into an army with every major nation sending whatever they have for support. The various old world diamond dog kingdoms are undergoing unification and an army of around ten thousand diamond dogs is being raised. More troops are coming as well, the Sea of Grass is recalling many recent retirees back into active service. By the time everything is said and done, they’re estimating over fifty thousand troops, all of which will be going into Fancy and the mountains to drive out the enemy.”

Lyra stared at Berry Punch, agape, her eyes wide and her expression vacant.

“I know, that’s a lot of ponies,” Berry Punch said, saying what Lyra could not. Grunting, Berry corrected herself. “Well, not just ponies. But griffons, donkeys, diamond dogs, minotaurs, some elephants, well, everyone. Like I said, the whole world is pitching in.”

“I have never seen an elephant up close.” Lyra blinked a few times as her brain began to restore function. “Pacifists. They don’t believe in violence unless it is absolutely necessary. I can’t imagine them getting involved.”

“When you weigh eight tons, you really don’t need to be violent, I do believe just raising your voice a little will get the attention of whatever has offended you,” Berry said, trying to bring a little humour into the conversation. Even as she said it though, she understood that her remark failed to make her feel better, and it did nothing to make anypony laugh. Berry Punch sighed and felt a little bit more miserable than she already did.

“This isn’t some little scuffle or conflict. This is a major war. I’ve never heard of anything quite like this before,” Lyra said, shaking her head as all of Berry Punch’s words sank in and developed meaning inside of her mind. She thought of Bucky and then felt a sense of anxiety begin creeping into her mind. “I hope Bucky and Belisama will be okay…”

“Belisama will keep Bucky safe,” Berry Punch said, looking Lyra in the eye. “Look, we know that Bucky is stupid when it comes to his own sense of self preservation, but if Belisama is with him, he is going to stay out of danger just so he can keep her safe. I hope.”

“I hope you’re right.” Lyra picked up a scone and turned it over a few times in her magic. She saw bits of dehydrated and crystalised orange peel along with dried cranberries poking out. Sighing, she lifted the scone to her muzzle and began to nibble, eating from nervousness rather than hunger.

Sensing that Lyra needed to think about something else, Berry Punch changed the subject. “How is the candy shop? Has business been picking up? Is everything getting better?”

Swallowing, Lyra pulled the scone away from her muzzle and looked at Berry. “Business is good. The, uh, adult candies we make are a big hit for certain types of parties. We’re hiring more help soon. I think. Helia and Golden Harvest are getting pretty good at running the store, which means that Bon Bon and I can take more time off. Bon Bon and I can make the candies in huge batches now, building up quite a supply that lasts for a few days, and then Helia and Golden Harvest can stock the shelves, fill the displays, and sell the candies, without having to worry about making more.”

“But are you profitable?” Berry asked.

Lyra gave an enthusiastic nod. “Yep. Now that we are selling specialty goods in bulk, we’re in black ink, or so Bon Bon says. The Painfully Pierced Pony buys a lot of our adult candies so they can give them out as promotional items.”

“Loch Skimmer and I have both been in there… they sell a lot of neat stuff. I bought a few toys but I haven’t sprung them on Derpy and the others just yet. I’m too pregnant and she’s too pregnant but as soon as I’m not pregnant, and she’s not pregnant, and we’re healed up, I am going to surprise Derpy with a hemipenis strapon modeled after a dragon’s double dong.”

Coughing, Lyra choked and dropped her scone upon the table. She banged her front hoof on the table edge, horked a few times, and saw starbursts in her vision as she tried to fill her lungs with air. After a long struggle, Lyra gasped, “Hemipenis? Two dicks?”

“Well, you see, there was this bit of magical exploration where Bucky cast a spell and he became a mare and I became a stallion for a bit, which was weird—”

“Yeah, I remember, Bon Bon and I had a nice time with Bucky,” Lyra said, recalling a fond memory as she focused upon her breathing and hoped for the starbursts in her vision to go away.

“Anyway, Derpy and I had a nice time, but it got interrupted. Anyway, I liked mounting Derpy. It was a nice change of pace. I don’t think I’d want to stay a stallion, but it is kinda fun to play around as one. Some of our other experimentations have gone horribly awry though.” Berry Punch recalled a few painful memories, squeezed her eyes shut, and shook her head to make them go away. Hot wax and hair brushes…

“I like being with Derpy.” Lyra looked down at the table and her voice became very quiet and nervous. “I really do like being with Derpy. There has only been a few times, and it is very different than being with Bon Bon. With Bon Bon, there is a feeling of control. She’s in charge and I like that… I need that. She punches through all of my indecisiveness… I don’t know how to put it in words… but with Derpy, it isn’t so much about orgasms or even sex. I just like being held close… being held against her. I feel so safe. I feel like I can finally relax.”

“Derpy’s like that. She is like a fortress of sexual intimacy.” Berry Punch smiled at Lyra, an almost teasing smile. “She can be very gentle and she can be very rough. But since you brought this up—”

“Berry, before you ask, I know what you are about to say.” Lyra looked Berry in the eye, her eyes becoming focused and her face becoming serious. “Yes, I liked being with you. You were playful. But it is going to take me some time to get used to that. You overwhelmed me just a bit, but don’t think that I didn’t enjoy it. I just have… some issues.”

Berry Punch became berry serious, her teasing expression vanishing. “I know you do.”

“This open relationship between all of us is a lot for me to take in. I’m still sorting it out. It is overwhelming. It took me a long time just to get comfortable with Bon Bon and now I’m still dealing with all of you and I’m actually really happy and I don’t always deal well with being really happy because of how I am.”

“Lyra Heartstrings, we’ll be here for you every step of the way,” Berry Punch said, hoping to make Lyra feel better. “Don’t let us overwhelm you though. Thanks for being open with me.”

Author's Notes:

Funny... I jury rigged myself a cup of coffee and my brain cleared up enough to write and edit with some clarity and some speed.

There might be typos though. Caffeine can cure many things, but the errorists are clever.

Fever Cure and Mask. One is a doctor... one is a thespian... together, they fight crime... and act like jerks to one another.