Well this was, without a doubt, interesting. Larch found himself sandwiched between two fillies on a couch in the school library. Piña was on his right and Babs was on his left. Babs had been chewing gum again, he could still smell it when she breathed on him. He found that he wanted Babs to breathe on him.

Piña on the other hoof smelled like hot cinnamon candy; she was almost mouth watering.

“I’ll be getting the new Oubliettes and Ogres supplemental materials soon,” Babs said.

“I can’t wait to play.” Larch squirmed and was almost overcome by cinnamon and the smell of bubblegum. “I wanna play a paladin pegasus and battle the undead.”

“That sounds like fun.” Piña tapped her front hooves together. “I’m kinda thinking about a diamond dog rogue, but that might be difficult to play if you play a paladin pegasus.”

“I could look the other way… I would look the other way for you.” Larch felt his cheeks grow hot and all of a sudden it was far too warm between the two fillies.

“The new Creature Compendium for Oubliettes and Ogres has a listing for demon spider lords. This is gonna be awesome.” Babs turned her head to look at both Larch and Piña. “So, where are we gonna play? We’ll need a place to lay out the maps and the figurines and stuff.”

“Hmm, I dunno,” Piña replied.

“I saw an advertisement for Harmony Mallet 50k in the back of the latest issue of Power Ponies.” Larch blinked and inhaled… Babs’ muzzle was inches away from his and the smell was making him light headed.

“Looks like fun, but the figures cost so much money and you have to paint them and metal bawkses is such a stupid name for battle wagons.” Babs rolled her eyes and leaned back against the cushions of the couch.

“We’re going to need more players,” Piña said, looking thoughtful as she spoke. “I know Dinky will play. I wonder if we can get anypony else?”

“Who is going to be the penitentiary princess for the game?” Babs asked.

“Why does it have to be a princess? Why not a penitentiary prince? Or something easier to say, like… game guru or…”

“I dunno, master of the dungeon might work, but it just sounds so eggheaded,” Piña said, filling in for Larch after he failed to say anything after a long moment.

Babs blew a raspberry and rolled her eyes. She then cleared her throat, laughed, and then said, “Dungeon master… that just sounds… so… so… dumb.” Babs began to giggle and leaned over on Larch. “At least penitentiary princess sounds like it has authority.”

“I gotta go help Apple Bloom… it’s getting to be about that time. I’ll see both of you later,” Piña said as she scooted off the couch. She then bounced onto her hooves and took off.

“She’s pretty, ain’t she?” Babs asked the earth pony colt beside her.

Nodding, Larch let out an embarrassed giggle. “You think she’s pretty? Why do you think she’s pretty?”

Babs grinned. “Because… I’m a tomcolt. And I like fillies in the same way that you like fillies… and you, you’re kinda handsome.” Babs’ words were a ticklish whisper into Larch’s ear. "When you do it, asking her out that is, I wanna watch.”

Babs’ voice caused Larch to shiver. He wiggled and felt tingles all over as Babs’ bubblegum scented breath blew over his ear, causing it to twitch.

“You can do it.” Babs’ voice was soft and she was still speaking into Larch’s ear.

“Oh, I dunno if I can.”

“Sure you can… just roll for initiative… and then go for it.”

“Did you have a good session with Doctor Mawu?” Sentinel asked Diamond Tiara.

The earth filly turned a darker shade of pink, giggled, and then blinked at Sentinel. “I did,” she replied in a coy voice. “And we talked about you.”

“Me?” Sentinel raised his eyebrow.

“We talked about inspirations. Positive healthy inspirations that are good for us. So I talked about you.” Diamond Tiara glanced at Sentinel through half closed eyes, took a step forward, and snoot-bumped the flustered looking colt. The earth pony filly felt a deep sense of satisfaction when she saw Sentinel’s wings flutter at his sides.

“I’m flattered,” Sentinel said in a voice that sounded more like his echolocation squeaks.

“Sentinel, it hasn’t been announced yet, but there is going to be a school gala.” Diamond Tiara gave Sentinel a hopeful look.

“There is?” Sentinel, feeling confused, wasn’t quite sure what to make of this information.

“Yes. A school dance. But a dance takes at least two, in my opinion,” Diamond Tiara replied as she batted her eyelashes at Sentinel.

Gulping, Sentinel felt an uncomfortable tightness in his wings. “Yes. Two. Two. Two to dance. You need a partner.”

“Yes I do,” Diamond Tiara said in a nervous breathy voice as once more touched her snoot against Sentinel’s. She inhaled, filling her barrel with air, and then sighed, breathing on Sentinel’s lips, her own lips less than an inch from him.

Sentinel felt too hot all over and his shaggy coat felt itchy against his skin. “Guh.” It wasn’t so much a word as it was a sound escaping Sentinel’s mouth as he lost the ability to converse with intelligent dialogue.

“Come on Sentinel… If I am going to be a pretty princess, I need a noble knight…”

Looking into Diamond Tiara’s blue eyes, Sentinel felt a peculiar sensation in his wing joints. There was a loud -KEERACK!- as his wings snapped out from his sides, unfurling, and the blood vessels in the thin membranes of his wings filled with blood, an emergency measure to cool off his overheating body. As his wings filled with blood, his brain suffered a shortage. He stood there, open mouthed, staring at Diamond Tiara.

The dreaded wingboner! Diamond Tiara, unable to help herself, began to giggle, then she laughed, and then she collapsed to the floor, rolling around and guffawing.

Drooling, Sentinel stood there, his body as still as a statue, and his wings quivered at his sides.

“I wonder where Discord is?” Fluttershy looked around, lifting her head, and blinking her eyes. “It is too quiet. This worries me. It should never be this quiet with Discord around.”

Bucky found himself in agreement. He couldn’t hear anything, anything at all. There should be the sounds of foals playing. Discord’s manic giggling. A cackle. Rude flatulent noises. A string and brass section from an orchestra.

“Now now, no need to panic, I’m certain they went off on an adventure somewhere or went off to find trouble,” Fluttershy said in a calm, reassuring voice.

All of the calm that Bucky had worked so hard to find, it packed its luggage, said a few choice words, walked out of the door, slammed the door behind it, and then departed in a huff. Bucky was sad to see it go, he had looked forward to entertaining it as a guest for a while. Now, there was a vacancy between his ears, and who knew what would come to claim the available space.

Fluttershy, ignoring gravity, drifted out of the farmhouse library, her head cocked to listen. A soft smile was on her face, exposing her large buck teeth; the jury was still out if they were beaver teeth or rabbit teeth. She rubbed her belly as she floated through the air and cooed to herself.

Following close behind, Bucky’s ears perked as he tried to listen.

“Discord… you silly goose,” Fluttershy said as she drifted off down the hall, heading for the back of the house.

Bucky watched as Fluttershy drifted towards the nursery. He picked up the pace to follow her, now feeling relieved and curious. What was Discord doing in the nursery? Bucky supposed that he was about to find out.

Fluttershy waved her paw at the door and it opened for her. “Discord… what are you doing?” Fluttershy’s forelegs went akimbo against her hips.

Peering through the door, Bucky saw what Discord was doing. Discord was wearing an outrageous blue silk dress, a wide brimmed floppy hat covered in wax fruit, dangly tacky looking earrings, and he was holding a teacup. Tea was being served on the floor. There were a lot of stuffed animals, teacups, and little fillies. Peekaboo, Harper, Sukari, Cadance, even Bell Heather was propped up against a rolled up blanket.

“Do you mind?” Discord asked in a sarcastic voice as he stared at Fluttershy and Bucky. “I am trying to teach proper tea etiquette. You can never start too young!” He turned and glanced at Cadance. “You there, Cadance, stop blowing bubbles in your tea… you are the Empress... auntie Celery will blame me if you blow bubbles into your tea at some big soiree of state. And we both know the fault is Bucky’s for raising you like a savage barbarian!”

Cadance blinked, her snoot still in her tea. She blinked again as her brows furrowed and an aggressive expression crept over her sweet foalish face. She slurped in her tea, and with her cheeks bulging, the alicorn foal lifted her head. Pursing her lips, Cadance squirted tea at Discord as malice glittered in her eyes.

Fluttershy began to giggle as Discord summoned an umbrella to protect himself. “You have to be careful. Cadance loves her daddy—”

“Mama!” Harper shouted in correction.

“Yes, Cadance loves her mama,” Fluttershy said, nodding in agreement with Harper. The used-to-be-a-pegasus-but-was-now-something-else floated forward, snatched up the frizzy, oranged maned foal, and gave her a big squeezy hug.

“Pretty Flutterbugbottom.” Harper closed her eyes and allowed herself to be cuddled.

At long last, Cadance ran out of tea. Adding insult to injury, she stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry at Discord while waving her front hooves over her head.

Bon Bon couldn’t get Bucky off of her mind. He had licked her hoof. He had crept up, licked her hoof, and then he had fallen down to the floor. He appeared drunk, but Bon Bon had smelled no hint of liquor on his breath when she had kissed him.

Raising an eyebrow, Bon Bon looked at Helia. She glanced down at her hoof and then her eyes darted back to the grinning, griffon obsessed pegasus. Hating herself, Bon Bon cleared her throat and said to Helia, “Hey… I need to ask you something really weird.”

“Anything,” Helia replied.

“Something strange happened. I’m trying to solve a mystery. I need for you to lick my hoof. The bottom part. The frog.”

Helia gave Bon Bon a strange look. “Is this some sort of weird workplace harassment?”

“No,” Bon Bon replied. “Bucky licked my hoof last night. He fell down drunk afterwards, but he hadn’t been drinking. I’m trying to figure out what happened.”

The pegasus raised her eyebrow. “I see.”

“My hoof is clean, I just got done pounding taffy and then I washed it under the faucet.” Bon Bon’s eyes dropped to the floor. “I know how weird this must sound.”

Shrugging, Helia came forward and when Bon Bon offered her hoof, Helia gave it a lick. The pegasus tasted sweetness… and a bit of sour. Bon Bon’s hoof tasted like sour apple taffy. “Sour apple, with a hint of Bon Bon.”

“I don’t get it. Bucky went right down to the floor.” Bon Bon lifted up her hoof and looked at it. She then looked at Lyra. Biting her lip, she pondered her next action and wondered about Lyra’s response. With a sheepish grin, Bon Bon asked Lyra, “Hey, Lyra, would you lick my hoof for science?”

“Sure, why not Bonnie,” Lyra replied as she waggled her eyebrows in a lascivious manner at Bon Bon.

Sauntering up to Bon Bon, Lyra waited as Bon Bon lifted up her other front hoof.

“The frog… the soft fleshy part. Bucky licked it and he went all weird.” Bon Bon raised her eyebrow and looked at Lyra.

Sticking out her tongue, Lyra gave Bon Bon’s hoof a lick. The green unicorn grunted, her eyes crossed, and then Lyra toppled down to the floor, a stupid giggle escaping her lips as she lay sprawled out and limp.

Staring at her hoof, Bon Bon asked, “What is going on?”

Author's Notes:

You have encountered a pack of wild typos. Please roll for initiative.