“MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA!”

Wincing, Bucky knew who that voice belonged to.

“Daddy.”

“No… mamamama!”

“Daddy!”

“Mama mama!”

A raspberry was blown.

Bucky dared to open his eye. Somepony kept dumping foals into his bed while he slept. This was turning into a habit. What an ugly thing to do to a sleeping pony.

“Eye open! Awake!” Harper’s voice was triumphant. And loud.

Yawning, Bucky lifted his head. A moment later, somepony gave him a very slobbery but well meaning kiss. Somepony with a frizzy orange mane. He also saw a flash of grey in his blurry vision. “What time is it?”

“A little past eight. You were sleeping well… so we let you sleep.”

Derpy’s voice was happy and Bucky was glad to hear it. “If you let me sleep, why is there foals in my bed?”

“Because it was time to wake up. And Harper was pitching a fit.”

Bucky felt a small body toss itself against him and begin climbing all over him. He yawned again. “Oh how I have missed you Harper. You’ve grown up I think while I was gone.”

“Sentinel, Piña, and Dinky got up every single morning to feed her. They never missed a day. Sentinel has started to take some real pride in helping out.”

Bucky heard Derpy pause and take a deep breath.

“The foal you brought home troubles me Bucky.”

There it was. He had been waiting for it. Bucky inhaled, grabbed both Harper and Cadance, and waited for the rest of it to come out as he squeezed his fillies.

“She’s… broken. I don’t know what to do with her. We have her secluded in the nursery and she’s hiding under the crib. She’s covered in scars and she has that horrible scar that runs from her nostril up to her eye. I don’t know what to do Bucky, and I feel bad.”

Not knowing what to say, Bucky squeezed both Harper and Cadance again, who squirmed in his embrace. He was going to have to get up and get out of bed. He could feel his full bladder urging him to get a move on.

“Where is Bell?” Bucky asked.

“In the big tub with Thistle. They’re soaking.”

Bucky nodded. That sounded right. Thistle needed a good soak. “Have you met Broom and Door?”

“They’re very nice. Broom and Semillon act like they have known each other their whole lives already. Door fainted. Scared us.”

“Door and Broom both do that. It happens.” Bucky rubbed his face against Harper and then Cadance.

“Boadicea—”

“Is she behaving?” Bucky asked.

“That poor thing is a pitiful mess! She’s bald all over and is nothing but bones!”

“She’ll get straightened out. Make sure you keep a count on all of the silverware. How is Yew taking it?” Bucky let go of Cadance and Harper after giving them a final squeeze. He began to wiggle out of the bed.

“Yew keeps trying to hug her and she keeps trying to escape.”

Almost stumbling over his own hooves, Bucky staggered off to the bathroom.

“Bandua has bat wings.”

Standing at the door, Bucky replied, “I know.”

“Will my foals have bat wings?”

“Derpy, love… when those foals were made… I was still as I was.”

There was no reply. After waiting a moment, Bucky went inside the bathroom.

“Daddy!”

Sentinel was, perhaps, a little too huggy. Bucky realised this after being plowed into and bowled over. There was something wrong with how Sentinel had addressed him, but Bucky could not put his hoof down on what it was. As he lay on the ground, seeing stars in his vision and struggling to breathe, Bucky sucked air into his lungs to try and say something to his son.

It was no use. Just as his lungs filled with air, Sentinel squeezed again. Bucky felt his bones creak as the air went whooshing out of his lungs.

A moment later, other ponies joined the mob. Bucky saw flashes of purple-grey, bright pink, charcoal grey, and purple pink. Just when Bucky thought he could take no more, he saw a cloven hoof and a flash of blue.

“OOF!”

“I can’t even see Bucky,” Lyra said as she snapped a picture, capturing the moment on film. “I mean, he is completely buried by foals.”

“Some of them are big foals,” Bon Bon said in an amiable voice.

“I finished my enchantment!” Piña said.

“We finished up with our project,” Sparker said.

“I accidently infested the school with cockroaches!”

A voice from beneath the pile said, “Dinky!”

“Don’t worry, the griffons love them. They’re calling this the Feast of Winter.” Rising Star stood up, pulled Loch Skimmer off of Bucky, and then Ripple.

Dinky scurried away. “Don’t let him up just yet, I want a fair chance to run!” She took off, her tail streaming out behind her. “Gonna go see Cadance, buh bye!”

Shoving Piña aside, Sparkler bent down and kissed Bucky on the cheek. “Good job with Bandua… she’s awesome.”

“Everypony and everybirdy says she is hideous.” Bucky laboured to breathe, Sentinel was still squeezing him.

“I think she’s cute. Berry Punch thinks I’m warped.” Sparkler began to pry Sentinel’s forelegs off of Bucky so her poor father could breathe.

“She is like a mad science abomination… I think she’s great,” Lyra said.

“Lyra! Do not call our offspring mad science abominations!” Bon Bon struck out and kicked Lyra in the hoof.

“At least I kissed her Bonnie… you went ‘blech!’ and you not so politely declined.”

Shamed, Bon Bon turned away and hung her head. “I’m a lousy pony. I think I’ll go stand my own self in the corner now.”

“I’ll show you my enchantment project later. I’m gonna go try to see if I can say hello to the zebra.” Piña trotted off down the hall, her mane and tail bouncing as she went.

“I missed you… I missed you so much. I took care of the house while you were gone.” Sentinel sat down on his haunches and began to compose himself.

Wheezing, Bucky sat up. Just as he was almost balanced, Loch Skimmer plowed into him once more and bowled him over.

“I missed my daddy!” Loch Skimmer wrapped her forelegs around Bucky’s neck and squeezed, causing alarming crackling sounds to be heard. After a moment, she let go.

Laying on the ground, Bucky rubbed his neck. “Pegasi…” Bucky tried to figure out what was missing. He blinked. “Where is my Bittersweet?”

“In the nursery, trying to be sweet to the zebra,” Sentinel replied.

“Her name is Sukari.” Bucky once more pulled himself up into a sitting position. He looked at Rising Star and Sparkler. “How did Derpy take it?”

“Oh, mom freaked. She freaked and she flapped and Rising Star and I both got a few slaps and then mom had to go sit down because her pelvis was hurting her and she told Rising Star and I both to get over next to her so she could slap us around a bit more, but we’re not stupid. We stayed right where we were.” Sparkler smiled a lopsided smile as the corner of her mouth twitched and spasmed.

“Next time you listen to your mother.” Bucky gave Sparkler a wry smile.

“But we’re moved out. It was a good idea, converting that space over the forge into a living space. Loch Skimmer and Ripple can both fly around in there because there is so much room in that loft. Plus, it looks industrial with all of the bare pipes and bricks and stuff, so that’s really cool.” Rising Star grinned.

“We set up a really nice living section for Lugnut and Spanner too… they have their own little apartment connected to ours so we can share space together.” Sparkler sat down on the floor, lifted her front leg, and tried to make the quivering stop.

“I was able to set up my punching bags and my kicking posts!” Reaching out a hoof, Ripple boxed her sister on the shoulder and sent Loch Skimmer sprawling.

“And this is why all of you needed to move out.” Bucky watched as Loch Skimmer scrambled to her hooves, scowling at Ripple in a way that only sisters could.

“You are so dead!” Loch Skimmer glowered at her sister and raised a hoof in a threatening gesture. “I oughta press assault charges!”

Ripple blew a raspberry.

“That’s it, sister smack down time!” Loch Skimmer launched herself at Ripple.

Much faster than her sister, Ripple took off.

Raising her voice, Lyra told Ripple, “No flying indoors!”

“Why aren’t you in school?” Bucky asked Sentinel, who was sitting beside him.

“Because… you came home… and we wanted to see you.” Sentinel gave his father a toothy grin.

“Bucky, important looking pegasus at the door to see you!” Lyra’s voice rang through the front of the house as she went prancing down the hall.

Bucky got up from the kitchen table, wiped his face with his foreleg, and made his way to the front door, stepping through the kitchen entry archway. There was a white pegasus wearing silver armor. He offered up a smart salute.

“Knight Commandant! I have a message for you from Her Royal Highness, The Voice of Thunder, She of Endless Majesty, Princess Luna.” The pegasus paused. “Sir, I am begging you sir, please remember, I am just the messenger and in this day and age, we don’t kill the messenger.”

“Just give me the message,” Bucky said, rolling his eyes.

“I was commanded to bring you this, sir!” The pegasus lifted his front leg and delivered a powerful slap to Bucky’s muzzle.

Stunned, Bucky stood there with wide eyes. “What in Tartarus was that for?” Bucky reached up and rubbed his face.

“Sir, I beg your forgiveness, sir!” The pegasus snapped to attention. “That was Her Royal Highness, The Voice of Thunder, She of Endless Majesty, Princess Luna’s formal declaration of war.”

Bucky’s eyes narrowed. “So… that’s how it is to be then...”

“Sir… would you like to send a return message?” The pegasus began to tremble.

“Prince Buckminster Bitters of Equestria, King of the Wee Griffons, and Lord of Hot and Sweaty Plot Furrow does command you… to fetch a large fresh halibut from a fish market. Luna is to be slapped in the face with it as my declaration for war. Spare no consideration, I want for this to be a proper declaration. This is how we griffons announce ourselves to our enemies!”

The white pegasus’ knees began to knock together. “Yes sir… I will do as I am bid, sir!”

Bucky bowed his head for a moment and saw the pegasus was looking at him with a fearful expectant stare. “Something else?”

“Sir, if you would be so gracious, would you mind telling me where I might find Princess Celestia?” The pegasus’ armor was rattling as he trembled.

“Oh you poor bastard. I have no idea where she is…”

Rubbing his cheek, Bucky laughed. The war was now official. Princess versus Princess versus Princess. He wondered how the guard was doing on his hunt for Celestia and he wondered how Celestia was going to take it.

“Sentinel!”

The lunar pegasus appeared at his father’s side, almost as if by magic.

“Sentinel, son, I am going to town. Want to come with me? I’m stopping by Carousel Boutique. Diamond Tiara, being a good pony, is probably in school… but I thought we could spend a little time together… up for a trip?”

Sentinel looked confused. “Are you buying something nice for my mothers?”

Bucky shook his head.” No, I’m afraid not, Sentinel. I need to get fitted for a formal gown. The rules state that each princess must be dressed in their finest formal wear. Alas, I have nothing worth wearing.”

“Father, tell me you’re kidding.” Sentinel gave his father a pleading look.

“No… I am being serious. I’m thinking of something blue… with sequins.” Bucky craned his head and looked at his sides. “Does blue go with my pelt colour?”

For a moment, Sentinel looked as though he was going to swallow his own muzzle. A lone whimper escaped his lips.

“I’ll ask Rarity and Coco. Maybe we’ll stop and get comic books or something while we’re out. Do you think a purple gown might look better?” Bucky looked down at his son and saw himself reflected in Sentinel’s glasses.

“Father, I am begging you, for once, please break the rules!”

Author's Notes:

Another war has started.