“I suppose you want to talk to me about what I did.”

The large white alicorn settled into the overstuffed chair and looked at the mare addressing her. “No actually,” Celestia replied. “I have no desire to talk about that. I came here for personal reasons. I received your letter Buckminster,” the alicorn mare stated.

Bucky, sitting on the floor, fell to the hardwood floorboards with a thump, looking very embarrassed. He had nearly forgotten about that during the recent events.

“I must say, I am very very flattered that somepony found me attractive,” Celestia admitted, causing Bucky to ignite. His blush intensified to the point where smoke began to waft away from his horn. “Do not look so surprised. Every mare wants to know that she is desirable and attractive. And I am still a mare, in spite of all I have become,” Celestia stated.

“I, uh, er, well…” Bucky trailed off.

“You are pretty,” Piña said, looking up at Celestia. She climbed up and straddled Bucky’s withers, rested one foreleg on the back of his head, and then she fanned his smoking horn with the other.

“Why thank you Piña,” Celestia said graciously. “I have been in contact with Keg Smasher,” she said to Berry Punch. “He should be contacting you soon.”

“Oh dear,” Berry Punch said.

“Try not to worry about too much for now,” Celestia soothed. “There are other issues to discuss.”

“I thought you didn’t want to discuss the whole war debacle,” Berry replied, looking somewhat confused.

“No, I do not, but I did come to discuss politics,” Celestia admitted. She watched Dinky crawl up on Bucky’s back and begin trying to shove Piña off. The two struggled while Bucky lay sprawled upon the floor.

“Politics,” Derpy mumbled. “Ugh.”

“Actually, I came about marriage. Which in your case, is going to be very political,” Celestia revealed, looking at the the ponies in the room with her. “Twilight Sparkle of course wants Berry bound to some position of social responsibility, and I agree that it would be for the best. I cannot perform the actual wedding, Twilight Sparkle is hesitant to do so, however…” Celestia fell silent and looked around the room. “Cadance is a foreign dignitary and she has the authority to do so. She is also the Princess of Love, and she wants a hoof in this. And I agree. We have discussed this, all of us, except for Luna and I.”

“Why haven’t you talked with Luna about this?” Bucky asked.

“I do not want to talk about it,” Celestia replied, shaking her head and snorting with disgust. “I cannot even begin to figure out where to start regarding the Luna situation.”

“There is a Luna situation?” Berry asked, looking Berry curious.

“Forget about it. You should be prepared for a wedding. It will be soon. Details will be incoming. Keg Smasher specifically asked for me to allow this, stating that he will help end the war at his end if I do. So I am going to acquiesce to his requests. I am unsure as to why he would request this as a condition for his agreement to sue for peace, but I do trust his judgment. He has been nothing but a good and fair ruler, working very hard to manage with what little bit he has,” Celestia explained.

Piña gave a cry and tumbled backwards after a particularly strong push from Dinky. She lost her balance and fell. She never hit the floor. Piña hovered, an inch above the floor. Celestia hadn’t done it, and Bucky’s horn was still smouldering but not lit.

Dinky’s horn was glowing brightly.

“Sorry,” Dinky apologised, hooking fetlocks with Piña and pulling her back up. The two foals hugged one another tightly, sitting on Bucky’s back.

It was an impressive display of magic and control, and Dinky had no idea that Celestia was intently studying her. Dinky was already powerful enough to lift another foal in her magic and had the mental fortitude to summon the will required.

“You seem to be doing very well Dinky,” Celestia praised.

“Bucky and Lyra keep teaching me stuff,” Dinky replied, blushing. “Lyra teaches me lots about magic theory and Bucky teaches me about force of will, focus, and control. I can drive a nail into the wall now just by thinking about it,”

“That is impressive for a foal your age. You have been blessed with very good teachers Dinky,” Celestia said, smiling at the foal.

“I can summon fire, but I know better than to actually do it. I can make liquids boil or become very cold. Berry gets me to reheat her coffee,” Dinky admitted, trying to not sound like she was bragging, even though she was clearly proud of what she could do.

“Tell her about the bread,” Piña giggled, which caused Dinky to giggle.

“No,” Berry said, shaking her head.

“Dinky is a bit of a prankster,” Derpy warned.

“She had Berry pretty good,” Bucky added.

“I enchanted a loaf of bread,” Dinky boasted. “I placed a sound spell on it.”

“Why place a sound spell on a loaf of bread?” Celestia asked, puzzled.

“When Berry went to cut the bread for breakfast, every time she sawed on the bread with the knife, it made rude farty noises,” Dinky confessed, giggling. Piña collapsed into Dinky’s embrace with the giggle-snorts.

Celestia covered her mouth with her fetlock and struggled not to laugh. She coughed instead, and had to keep coughing. Quite without meaning to, she tittered. She could not believe she was laughing at this.

“It was awful,” Bucky recalled. “I almost died from mortification. Berry would go to cut off a slice and the rude noises would fill the kitchen.”

The alicorn made a very unladylike snort.

“Troublesome little unicorn,” Derpy said, shaking her head.

“Well, I told you, little unicorns do that,” Bucky said.

“Little unicorns would not do that if big unicorns didn’t teach them prank magic,” Derpy retorted, glaring at Bucky, trying not to smile.

“Even worse, she enchanted Barley’s shoes,” Berry said, sighing. “Barley took the opportunity to dance a jig,” Berry said, her face breaking into a wide grin.

Celestia found herself laughing, quite against her will. And then she realised who Luna had been with. She choked on her own laughter and struggled to breathe for a moment.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Berry said.

“Maybe I have,” Celestia wheezed.

Two ponies staggered through town, completely sloshed. They would stop occasionally, leaning upon one another, trying to steady themselves. Several bottles and a keg floated behind them, held in a bright blue aura.

“Kiss me, I’m shitefaced,” one said, puckering up and making kissy kissy noises.

“Yeah, I am -hiccup- sorry about that, I shar-hiccup-ted when you were kissing me back there,” the other replied.

“It happens lass, it happens. Ye know, I think I pissed meself,” the stallion said to the mare. He looked down between his front legs, peering at his hind hooves, wobbling unsteadily. “I did, I did.”

The mare laughed, and then took a long pull from the bottle. “I think -hiccup- I am in the mood for your luc-hiccup-ky charms again,” she said suggestively, one wing flapping wildly as she struggled to keep her balance. “You are such a gen-hiccup-tlepony. Everypony else is -hiccup- so afraid of me,” the mare confessed. “I get so -hiccup- lonely.”

“Aye, I wants me a strong able bodied mare… I needs me a good mare that can put me in me place,” the stallion replied, nearly falling over, his front hooves splaying outwards. “Look at me, I’m a sot,” he chuckled.

The mare stood, staring at the stallion, licking her lips with unabashed lust.

“I’m prood of me wee dainty Berry,” the stallion said, his lilt fueled by alcohol. “All o’ her siblings ain’t worth a tinker’s damn, ‘cept wee Piña. I loves me that wee filly.”

“You -hiccup- have a good fam-hiccup-ily,” the mare agreed, dropping an empty bottle and heaving a sigh. “Another fine soldier has fallen,” she said sadly.

“Aye, he was a good lad,” the stallion slurred. “I want to go home, I dinnae think I can take another moment without me wee Berry,” the stallion blurted.

“I will walk -hiccup- you home,” the mare offered. She paused and took a long drink from the keg directly.

The residents of Ponyville watched in abstract horror as Luna, Keeper of the Moon, chugged directly from a keg and then staggered off with the old stallion by her side.

Celestia was drinking the fireball whiskey directly from the bottle now. She had polished most of it off. While she was nowhere near drunk, the alicorn was becoming relaxed. She had dropped her guard and become quite sociable.

“I really want all of you to be happy,” Celestia said, looking at Bucky, Derpy, and Berry Punch. “So much has been done to you Bucky, you deserve to be happy. And if it takes two mares to do that, then you should have two mares.”

Derpy looked at Berry and raised an eyebrow. Berry looked at Derpy and returned the eyebrow raise. Both mares nodded slightly. Bucky, now so much more aware of the silent communications between the two mares, felt afraid.

“I have a lovely bottle of red in the kitchen, in the fridge, getting cold. Let me know when you finish the whiskey,” Berry said invitingly.

“That’s so nice,” Celestia said, her cheeks turning pink. “Ponies never want to do pony things with me, like somehow I am above having a good time. I am a mare too. I want what mares want. I am still a pony. I just want to let my mane down sometimes and have a nice time, but no, manners this, and decorum that, and mind what you do lest you cause a scandal. Did I just use a run on sentence?”

Bucky nodded faintly. Dinky and Piña giggled and Dinky whispered something into Piña’s flickering ear.

Celestia guzzled down the remainder of the bottle and set it down upon the small table next to the chair.

Berry bounced into the kitchen, and sounds could be heard. Derpy dismounted from the couch and flopped down on the floor next to Bucky, rolling up against his side. Piña gleefully began to climb over Derpy and find a nice place to lay down, her body resting in the crevice formed between Derpy’s and Bucky’s bodies.

Berry returned a moment later, walking on three legs, her foreleg holding a tall mason jar full of wine in her hoof, for Celestia, who took it gratefully. She bounded back into the kitchen again.

“I’ve been under so much stress lately. The noble houses have been squabbling. If I could, I would get rid of them all. We’d be better off without them,” Celestia confessed.

Berry returned, walking a three legged gait, bearing a glass of wine for Derpy. She set it down on the floor in front of the grey mare with a smile and then vanished into the kitchen once again.

“Ponies do not realise how little power I have sometimes about the day to day matters of the empire. The noble houses have to vote and agree on things, and if they do not agree, stuff does not get done,” Celestia explained. She took a long drink. “Oh, that is quite good. We keep Clan Pickled wines in the royal cellars.”

Berry returned with a glass of wine for Bucky, grinning hugely as she bounded into the room and set the glass down. Bucky picked up his glass right away and took a long drink, closing his eyes as he tipped his head back. Berry departed, seeking wine for herself.

Derpy drank slowly, smacking her lips as she pulled them away from the jar. The red wine turned her grey lips a purple blue colour, which Bucky might notice matched another pair of lips, had he been looking.

“You two look so adorable together, all covered in foals,” Celestia said, her regal tones melting away into something warm, friendly, and full of emotion.

Berry returned, set down her glass, and flopped down on the floor with Bucky and Derpy, scooting in beside them. She emptied half of her glass with a swallow.

“I remember how it used to be,” Celestia said, reminiscing. “Pansy had over a dozen fellow-wives and Hurricane was a very happy stallion. Three seems like so small a number for a family.” She took a long drink from her glass and belched lightly. “I have to know, who is the head in this herd?”

“I am,” Derpy replied, blushing a bit. She took a sip and then giggled.

“I would challenge her position but she can kiss me so hard that I have to pull my tail out of my backside when it gets sucked in,” Berry replied.

Celestia snorted, horked, and then guffawed.

“I am content to remain on my pedestal,” Bucky replied. He was feeling warm from his wine. Not drunk in the slightest, but he was relaxing a bit.

“I get to call him daddy,” Piña announced to Celestia. “So does Dinky. That makes us sisters. Sort of. Stuff is complicated.”

“Aw, I had always hoped that Buckminster would get to be a father, I have such high hopes for you Buckminster. Once we move past this unpleasantness, I’d like to see you do great things,” Celestia said to Bucky. She took a long drink and completely killed off her drink. She stared down into the jar, peering at the drops remaining. She flicked out her incredibly long tongue and lapped up the last remaining drops after stuffing her muzzle into the jar opening. “I feel so much better,” Celestia confessed.

“There is beer in the fridge,” Bucky said.

“Do not bother getting up, I’ll get it,” Celestia said. Her horn glowed and several bottles poofed into existence on the table beside the chair. Her horn still glowing, she cracked off a cap and began to drink, making happy murmuring sounds in her throat.

“This is a side of you I never thought existed,” Berry said in a low voice, exchanging a glance with Bucky.

“I’m just like you,” Celestia sniffed. “You should have seen Luna.”

“I should have seen Luna?” Bucky asked.

“Nothing!” Celestia said, draining her bottle and cracking open another one. “You know Bucky, you aren’t the only one afraid of having a nice time,” she added. She began to guzzle another bottle.

“This is going to be glorious,” Berry whispered into Bucky’s ear.

Bucky heartily disagreed. This was going to be disastrous. He wasn’t even sure if alicorns could even get drunk. “Berry, what were you thinking?” Bucky whispered back into Berry’s ear, causing Berry to giggle as his breath tickled her ear.

“She’s having a rough time, she is our guest, we have obligations to be hospitable,” Berry replied, whispering into Bucky’s ear.

“Ponies always forget about alicorns and our superiour hearing,” Celestia said, punctuating her words with a loud belch. It wasn’t quite Sparkler grade, but it was close. “I know what you are doing, and I thank you.”

The ponies remained drinking for a while, talking, laughing, the foals occasionally mentioning things they learned in school. A very relaxed atmosphere took over the room, and Celestia began to act more and more like a pony, and less and less like a regal figure.

The festive mood was interrupted by a knock upon the door. One knock at first, followed by a flood of instant knocking.

Berry Punch scrambled to her hooves and then opened the front door.

Beyond the door was quite a sight.

“I believe this is yours!” Cadance grunted at Berry Punch, using her magic to toss a ivory stallion indoors. He landed on the floor with a grunt.

Twilight Sparkle stared at Celestia, looked around the room, and looked quite in shock. “And this is yours!” she exclaimed. Using her magic, she tossed Luna into the room. Luna tumbled to the floor with a drunken roar of laughter.

“Hey, Twilight, can I -hiccup- have that stick?” Luna asked.

“What stick? What are you talking about?” Twilight demanded, clearly running out of patience, a scowl plastered on her muzzle.

“The -hiccup- stick you keep up your plot!” Luna roared, collapsing with laughter.

“Berry, wee Berry, you are going to hear some stories,” Barley slurred. “And they’re all true. Especially all the parts with Luna.”

Berry’s mouth fell open as Cadance and Twilight Sparkle shoved their way inside.

Author's Notes:

Well, guess what is coming soonish...

Let me know if I missed anything, and keep the discussion lively.

i just don't know what to do with Luna and Barley. To be honest, I have not thoroughly thought out their fate. They are an open end. I had this scene planned now for over a month, with notes and everything, but I never got beyond the initial planning stage and into story foundation stage. So... who knows what lies ahead. I'd love to hear your opinions though.