Rainbow Dash flew around Ponyville, carrying an alarm klaxon with her in the form of a small green crystal pony foal that was full of sugar and decided to have a good cry about the loss of her parents. She darted to and fro, looking for Flash Sentry, who seemed to have a good knack about these sorts of things, he had been able to get Scootaloo to stop crying about something or other.

She flew around in a panic, her eyes wide, her face contorted into one of frantic worry. Somehow, Rainbow Dash had screwed up something as simple as keeping a foal happy. She had no idea what she had done wrong, but something had clearly gone wrong. She wished Twilight was here, but Twilight Sparkle was off in Canterlot doing very important Twilight Sparkle business, the sort of business that might cause the universe to end if Twilight Sparkle did not personally take time out of her busy day to look after it.

Much to Rainbow Dash’s relief, she ran into Applejack and Silver Shill. The pegasus just knew that they would know what to do, and if they didn’t at least Applejack probably had some rope…

Hondo Flanks and Cookie Crumbles stood upon the deck of The Scorned Mare and had a look around. Neither had been on a battle capable airship before, and this was a novel experience for both of them. Cookie spent the entire time snapping photographs of everything, including the ship’s commander, who seemed somewhat annoyed by flash photography.

Later, when one photo was developed, it would show a skeletal pony under a black cloak, and Thanatos’ prank would claim yet another victim. The most amazing part of the photo would be the mechanical talons, which would also show up as bones.

Sweetie Belle, out of school early, paced the deck with her parents while trying not to gag at how Rarity and Coco were acting. Her big sister had to bring drama to everything and her love life was no different. As she turned to look at her mother, she was suddenly blinded by a bright flash, which dazzled her olive green peepers and caused blue and white spots to dance in her vision.

“Sweetie Belle, close your mouth dear… somepony might think you are a mouth breather and we can’t have that,” Cookie urged, sounding worried as she looked around for something else to photograph. She had heard stories that Prince Bitters kept a lunar pegasus as a pet and she wondered where the ever so elusive creature might be. Snapping a photo of a lunar pegasus would secure all sorts of bragging rights.

“Look Cookie… griffons,” Hondo gasped, tugging on Cookie with one foreleg. “We’re surrounded on all sides by griffons. How exciting. This farm is like a wilderness safari.”

“Still no sign of the lunar pegasus,” Cookie grumbled, feeling disapointed.

“Wow, that’s a big griffon,” Hondo said in astonishment as he looked at a griffoness that landed and then began to set down a few cubs on deck.

“No, that’s a big griffon,” Sweetie Belle said as she blearily pointed at Lugus while rubbing her eyes. “And he’s real nice from what I hear. Rarity says he’s sweet and cuddly.”

“Oh my goodness gracious… a big cuddly griffon. Sweetie Belle… I want a picture of that,” Cookie said in a pleading voice, gesturing at Sweetie Belle to get moving towards the big griffon.

“Bucky… you have been most genteel and kind in dealing with my parents,” Rarity said in an embarrassed voice. “My mother has a thing for photography. She will snap photographs of almost anything and you have been very patient with her. Thank you.”

Struggling to hide a smirk, Bucky now understood where Rarity got her own obsessive need to photograph everything. Derpy landed beside him and Bucky waited, hopeful for some kind of affection, perhaps a peck on the cheek or a big wet kiss even.

“I love weddings,” Derpy gushed as she sat down beside Bucky. She leaned over, wrapped a wing around the unicorn beside her, and gave him a sweet squeeze. “Bucky… you should do this more often.”

“On top of all of my other duties,” Bucky mumbled in reply.

“But this is so nice,” Derpy said as she giggled with uncontained excitement.

“Yes, this is nice, I’ll give you that,” Bucky agreed as he watched Lugus patiently posing for photographs with Sweetie Belle. “Poor Lugus. He is going to have words with me later, I just know it.”

“Oh this is perfect,” Coco gushed as she pulled a pair of sunglasses off of her face and looked around. “I want to remember this moment forever.”

Under the gaze of the small crowd, the two mares only had eyes for one another, they could scarcely look away from one another for any reason at all. Even Bucky could feel it, there was a special sort of happiness here, and he had been graced by being allowed to share a part in it.

“This is the fairytale love story I always wanted for my daughter,” Cookie blurted out as the tears began to trickle out. She leaned on Hondo, blinking tears away, her mascara running down her cheeks.

Overcome with his own emotions, Hondo nodded and sniffled quietly to himself.

“Marriage is perhaps the most sacred of our institutions, or our most important social contract,” Bucky said in a solemn voice. “It is the verbal contract that two or more ponies have joined together to form a family, to face the world together, to raise and protect foals together, to prepare them for the day when they become married themselves and the cycle of life continues.”

“Oh that’s so beautiful,” Cookie gushed, wiping at her eyes with a neckerchief.

“Do either of you have anything to say to one another?” Bucky questioned.

“Coco, I do so hope that I am the pony that you believe me to be. I hope I prove worthy of your sincere and honest love and affection,” Rarity said, her eyes still locked on Coco, having never once looked away since the ceremony started.

“Rarity, you taught me the value of honesty and generousity. You helped me find myself after I lost my way. I compromised my values as an earth pony. I will always be in debt to you, you gave me my sense of self back after I became lost. I hope I will always prove worthy of your affections,” Coco said to Rarity in a low soft voice.

“Oooh I have three beautiful daughters now,” Cookie cooed as she began to nibble on her own hoof, her mascara still dribbling down her cheeks. She pressed even tighter against Hondo beside her.

“I think your mother said it best, she has three daughters now. Coco, Rarity, be bound to one another. Always do what is best for one another and let no pony pull apart what I have put together,” Bucky announced. He took a deep breath and looked at the newlyweds. “Usually there is a kiss right about now.”

Eyes still locked, Coco and Rarity moved in for a slow passionate kiss as Cookie’s camera flashed. Hondo wiped his eyes and turned away, blinking rapidly, and Sweetie Belle gagged, sticking out her orange tongue.

“It’s always nice to share in a happy moment,” Derpy said as she watched the couple kissing one another. “There’s been so many troubled times lately. Really makes you appreciate these moments.”

Her afternoon free after the dreaded detention, Loch Skimmer prowled around Ponyville, looking into shop windows. She didn’t have to work today and she was determined to enjoy her day off. She smiled at ponies as they passed, life was difficult and times were hard. A smile let somepony know that you cared, and for some ponies, a smile just might make a terrible day almost tolerable. It never hurt to smile.

She came by a shop that had black curtains over the windows and nothing on display, which was curious. She looked at the sign, which was written in small painted red letters on a black rectangle of wood over the door. The sign itself was quite intriguing.

“The Painfully Pierced Pony.”

Feeling a creeping sense of curiousity, one ear stood up while the other drooped, and Loch Skimmer eyed the door. She looked to her left, then to her right, feeling somehow wrong for standing at the doorway to this place, but not understanding why. Perhaps it was the black curtains over the windows. Whatever they had for sale here was not fit for public advertising.

Biting her lip, Loch Skimmer pushed open the door and went inside.

Immediately, Loch Skimmer knew that she was inside of some place special. The first thing she saw was a saddle bondage set, something she had heard Berry Punch talk about. There were bits and bridles. Spurs, both dull ones and sharp ones. Riding crops. Whips. There were toys of all kinds, and not toys meant for foals.

Loch Skimmer felt giddy when when she turned her head and found her snoot was inches away from a yard long black rubber pony penis, complete with veins and realistic details. It hung on the wall right next to the door. She began to giggle.

“Hi… can I help you?” a mare asked in a bored voice. There was silver ring in one of her nostrils. “Today we have a piercing special. Half price. We want to encourage new customers or something. I dunno. Like I care,” she said in a dull monotone.

“Piercing?” Loch Skimmer asked, raising one eyebrow.

“Dock piercings are nice. They make sex really exciting,” the mare deadpanned.

“Dock piercings?” Lock Skimmer questioned. “But there is a bone in there. Several bones. Ouch!”

“Oh Pinprick would never go through the bone. He takes a pinch of skin and pierces that. Once it heals, it feels really good when a stallion mounts you and rubs against your dock. It leads to wild orgasms,” the mare explained in a dull flat voice as she stared off vacantly.

“And you know this how?” Loch Skimmer inquired, feeling more than a little curious.

“Because I have several dock piercings and now all I have to do is rub my own dock against my bed when I rub one out. It makes me cum by the bucketful,” the mare answered in a dull disinterested voice.

“There are a lot of nerves back there. Berry Punch tells me that dock stimulation is vital to good to sex and I know she’s right about that,” Loch Skimmer said, thinking out loud.

“I could rub one out and let you watch. I won’t charge anything. I do it all the time to bring in business,” the mare offered in monotone. “Watch out though, I’m a screamer,” she said dully. She paused for a moment and then yawned.

“No, that’s alright,” Loch Skimmer stated. “Does it hurt?”

“Yes. Yes it does. Yes it hurts a great deal. How is that? Honesty in advertising. It is one of the many services we provide here, along with free spanking and the chance to watch me rub one out,” the mare answered.

“Spanking?” Loch Skimmer asked, looking confused.

“Riding crop, paddle, bare hoof, or the Spankotron Ass Slapper Fifty Five Thousand and One?” the mare replied, looking as though she might fall over into a coma at any moment.

“Spankotron Ass Slapper Fifty Five Thousand and One?” Loch Skimmer repeated.

“Oh… you are very brave. Is this your first time? You may feel a stinging sensation followed by a prolonged period of burning. I am obligated to warn you about the swelling of the labia, the clitoris, and your anus. The Spankatron is very thorough,” the mare answered. “The Spankotron Ass Slapper Fifty Five Thousand, the first model, had a built in clit clencher and teat torturer, but it was recalled after it refused to let go.”

“Refused to let go?” Loch Skimmer cried in panic.

“Don’t worry, the Spankotron Ass Slapper Fifty Five Thousand and One has a perfect track record so far. All it does is spank you like the bad little pony that you are. Not recommended for males due to potential testicle thumping,” the mare replied as she vacantly stared off at a rack full of dildos. “Some males like it though… testicle torture is sexy.”

“No! Testicles are very important to me… I would never want to torture them… all of this sounds awful… no, I don’t want to be spanked. But I am curious about the dock piercing,” Loch Skimmer said in a horrified voice. “And I might have a few questions about toys.”

“I can tell you all about the toys,” the mare answered in a near comatose voice. “Like that dildo over there with the straps. It allows a mare to screw her partner. Lots of fun to be had. Great at parties. Establish your dominance with your sexual partner today.”

“Oh that sounds neat…”

Author's Notes:

Loch Skimmer

See a ttypo?