“Bucky… I have a serious problem!”

Turning to look at Twilight Sparkle, Bucky yawned. The first hint of dawn was on the horizon and the morning was chilly. His breath was visible as he breathed. Twilight Sparkle looked frantic, upset, and red eyed, as though she had been awake all night. Her mane was a mess and strands of loose hair stuck out in all directions.

“Bucky… are you listening to me? There is a serious problem! Celestia has moved in and she’s refusing to leave… she says she can’t stand the castle anymore and she hates Luna!”

Heaving a sigh of resignation, Bucky shook his head. He was in pain, exhausted, and not at all in a position to deal with this current crisis. He stared at Twilight blearily. “Funny, I had an alicorn move in with me last night as well.”

“At least you have room! The library is already too cramped. And it is impossible to have sex with Celestia in the library… just too creepy,” Twilight said in a manic tone.

“How is married life?” Bucky asked, smacking his lips and then yawning.

“A WHOLE LOT WORSE SINCE CELESTIA JUST MOVED IN!” Twilight bellowed, her muzzle inches from Bucky’s as she shouted, flapping her wings and hovering in the air. “Hard enough to have hot loving with a foal and a baby dragon in the library… but it is impossible with Celestia. She’s all motherly and everything feels wrong and icky!”

“Tried a theesome yet?” Bucky asked, raising his one and only eyebrow.

“What sort of question is that?” Twilight responded, shaking her front hoof at Bucky.

“I only ask because I have a great deal of concern for you and I want you to be happy. Plus, I can offer pointers,” Bucky answered in a soft patient voice.

“We’ve… we have tried to be together but it is kinda awkward and overwhelming,” Twilight admitted in a muted voice, still hovering in the air and looking down on Bucky. “Too much to deal with all at once. Hard to multitask.”

“You need to learn to let go and trust your mates Twilight. They are going to see you at your best and at your worst. You shouldn’t feel the need to hide anything from them. Be open. Expose yourself,” Bucky said as he reached up and scratched his snoot with his talons.

“That’s not as easy as you make it sound,” Twilight replied in a strained and somewhat raspy voice, her eyes focused on Bucky.

“You married not one, but two pegasi. Lemme tell you a few things about pegasi. They have no concept of personal space. None at all. They are exceptionally sexual creatures… needy sexual creatures. They are habitual sleep snugglers. They want to touch you all of the time, hear your voice, and know where you are. They are possessive, protective, and territorial. And you will never find a more loyal companion,” Bucky said, looking up at Twilight as she hovered just off of the ground.

“They leave behind bruises Bucky,” Twilight said in a low voice.

Nodding, Bucky smiled. “They do. You know you are loved by pegasi when they are so enthusiastic in their affections that they hold nothing back.”

“Is Derpy like that?” Twilight inquired, now looking curious.

“Derpy, Ripple, Loch Skimmer, even Yew Wood has left her mark on me. I love them all,” Bucky replied, smiling as he spoke, the white tips of his fangs flashing.

“Bucky… even before Celestia showed up… there’s been some problems at home… between us. I’m worried and I’m scared Bucky, and I really don’t know who to turn to. I can’t turn to my parents, I mean, they are very happy for me and surprisingly they approve of my marriage, but I can’t talk… to them… about this… trouble,” Twilight said in a hesitant voice, her words halting, and her face troubled.

“I thought there might be… Twilight, you need to talk with Berry Punch. She’ll help straighten all three of you out,” Bucky said knowingly as he scratched his chest with his talons. He was growing in his winter pelt and things were a bit itchy.

“Does anypony get jealous Bucky?” Twilight asked in a low scratchy whisper, her cheeks darkening as she spoke.

“No… not that I’m aware of,” Bucky responded, offering Twilight a reassuring smile.

“There is some jealousy already. Nopony will admit to it, but I know it’s there,” Twilight admitted.

“Have you told them of your jealousy?” Bucky questioned.

“Well… no… no I haven’t, but I have had a few moments where I’ve felt a little left out but I haven’t said anything because nopony else has said anything,” Twilight replied, her ears splaying out sideways.

“There’s part of your problem,” Bucky stated as he watched Twilight land in front of him, finally setting her hooves down on the ground. “So you didn’t say anything and neither does anypony else, meanwhile, you just keep waiting to say something until somepony else goes first, right? Because it’s uncomfortable?”

Squirming and staring down at the grass, Twilight nodded.

“So, about this alicorn infestation you have in your library. Have you tried placing traps? Called an exterminator?” Bucky questioned, a faint smile spreading over his exhausted looking features.

“Bucky! You’re terrible,” Twilight protested, looking up at Bucky in mock-horror.

“Luna is quite upset, she said some things she probably shouldn’t have. The sisters seem to have had a spat,” Bucky said as he adjusted his torque with his talons.

“Celestia has been so… so… so very-”

“Acting like a pony lately rather than the spotless white monarch?” Bucky interrupted as he looked Twilight in the eye.

“Well, yeah,” Twilight said, nodding her head up and down.

“Celestia is a pony. So is Luna. They have hearts and minds and feel all of the same hurts that we do. The reason why we are seeing this is now is because we’ve become very much entwined in their lives. There is a relationship here. They have let us in and we have all grown close… they are probably acting the way they have always acted, but we are just now getting to see it. They trust us enough to come to us when there is trouble, probably a luxury they have never had before,” Bucky explained as he reached up and brushed his silver-black mane out of his eyes with his talons.

“That… that makes sense,” Twilight said, her head bobbing up and down as she reached an understanding. “Celestia kept crying and she ate all of the ice cream.”

“Hmm, all Luna wanted was tea with extra sugar,” Bucky remarked as he turned his head to look over at the house.

“She cried all night and kept talking about all of the mistakes she has made. Sunset Shimmer. You. Me. Griffonholm. Luna. She’s eaten alive with regret and I didn’t know how to help her,” Twilight said with a pained expression on her face.

The morning stillness was utterly destroyed by Philomena letting out a blood curdling scream to greet the morning, which caused an already nervous Twilight Sparkle to jump out of her skin and shriek, her horn glowing with a fierce intensity.

“It’s just Philomena screaming bloody murder to greet the day,” Bucky said in a soothing voice. “Be calm.”

“I haven’t been right since Griffonholm Bucky… I jump at every sound. I’m nervous. I’ve been having nightmares. Bad dreams. I keep thinking about what I’ve done. I’m having a lot of trouble,” Twilight admitted in a raspy whisper, her horn growing dim.

The phoenix screamed again, a high pitched scream that pierced the dawn.

“She has eggs. She’s very protective. She and Freezerburn both. I wouldn’t disturb them if I was you. They barely even tolerate me coming near their tree,” Bucky stated, looking off in the direction of the tree. “So… what do we do about our alicorn problem?”

“You’re asking me?” Twilight demanded, looking confused. “You’re the one with the clever plans!”

Shaking his head, Bucky looked Twilight in the eye. “I’ve never planned for this.’

“We could try locking them in a room together like two foals and leave them to sort out their differences,” Twilight suggested.

“And they say I’m mad,” Bucky responded in a dramatic whisper.

“Bucky, you are mad. I’ve read your psychiatric report and personality profile that was established for you as a Black Cloak,” Twilight stated.

“A technicality,” Bucky said dismissively, shrugging his shoulders. “I am going inside for coffee. Are you coming?”

Staring blankly at Bucky for several long moments, Twilight finally nodded.

Clutching his coffee cup in his talons, Bucky found he quite liked having grasping opposable digits to grab things with. Twilight had still not noticed that there was something different about him, but that was expected, Twilight was rather oblivious about much that went on around her.

Staring off out the window, Twilight was distracted by her thoughts. There was too much going on, too much trouble, and then on top of all of the other trouble, Celestia had shown up and made herself at home. Work was piling up because she was neglecting her duties, choosing to spend time with her family instead.

“We still need to make a couple of giant golems and work on the gunpowder issue,” Bucky remarked and then took a sip of his coffee.

“I’ve read a report, the fighting is getting bad in Minos. They’re appealing to the Sea of Grass for aid and offering to join in an alliance if the Sea of Grass will send assistance to quell the rebellion,” Twilight responded, looking down into her coffee cup. “It is turning into a multi-nation conflict though. The Old World Pony Alliance is sending troops from Fancy, Trottingham, Liverypool, and a couple of other places to protect their financial investments in Minos.”

“I’ve wondered if I should go over there and put down the rebellion,” Bucky stated in a soft voice. “I’ve thought about it. More killing… more bloodshed… more death.”

“The Bocors have authorised the use of zebra vodun,” Twilight said as she continued to stare out the window.

“Oh… oh that sounds like fun,” Bucky replied, his eye going wide. “Hexes. Curses. Biological warfare. They worked up beak rot for the griffons… I’d hate to see what they come up with for the minotaurs.”

“Something unpleasant, that’s for sure,” Twilight said, her gaze still looking out the window. She sighed and shifted her weight in her chair, leaning more on the table.

The sounds of waking ponies began to fill the house and Bucky’s ears perked. His peaceful morning was nearly over. Somepony was bound to notice the recent addition to his body. He took a sip of coffee and steeled himself. It was a lazy weekend morning and even the cook had slept in for a little longer than usual.

“Twilight?” Bucky asked, looking at the distracted alicorn.

“Yes Bucky?” Twilight responded, still looking out the window at the serene morning.

“Who’s in Canterlot right now running the nation?” Bucky inquired, trying to hide his twitching smirk.

“I don’t know Bucky… OH MY GOSH I DON’T KNOW BUCKY!” Twilight replied, turning away from the window to look at Bucky. Twilight lifted her cup to her lips, chugged down her coffee, set down her mug, and belched loudly. “I gotta go!” she announced as she spilled out of her chair and then fled the kitchen.

A moment later, Bucky heard the front door slam as Twilight departed. He waited for the sonic boom, tapping one talon idly upon the table, and heard the dull thud about a minute later. Bucky found he rather liked drumming his talons upon the table and he understood now why Lugus did this when the big griffon was feeling pensive.

Feeling a terrible sense of curiousity, Bucky experienced the peculiar thought about being able to pick his own nose. The minotaurs certainly did it, there was even a joke about it, ‘why do minotaurs have such big nostrils?’ The proper response was, ‘because they have big fingers!’

“Hmm,” Bucky mused to himself. “You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you cannot pick your friend’s nose.” He chortled at his own joke, his pain and exhaustion having worn down his sense of reason, and he stared down into his coffee cup.

Author's Notes:

Twilight is known for being a little oblivious on occasion.

Just like me and tpyos.