The door of the library clicked softly as Celestia locked it behind her and focused her regal gaze upon Bucky. She crossed the room quickly, heading for the large couch, eased herself down, pulled up her legs, and quickly made herself comfortable in the pony-loaf position, never once taking her eyes from Buckminster, who was sitting in his usual high backed chair, a chair jokingly referred to as his throne.

Bucky watched the large white alicorn making herself comfortable and noted full well that she was acting like a pony… not as the Supreme Royal Diarch. He felt a vague sense of amusement and he truly enjoyed seeing her like this. He had never quite witnessed anything like this before, seeing her so relaxed. Even when she was sitting back in Derpy’s old house and Luna had climbed into her chair and the pair had shared a sisterly embrace, that memory held nothing in comparison to what he was seeing now.

It seemed the rift between them had vanished.

“Buckminster, I must make a request of you,” Celestia began.

“Whatever you ask, as your humble servant, I will do as you request,” Bucky replied.

“Still an armiger,” Celestia mused. “Still the noble knight… it really is funny Buckminster… there were a lot of armigers… ponies at arms… the noble standard bearers and enforcers of the great houses. Many of them paid lip service to me. Many of them said those same words that you just said to me over the years. You are one of the few ponies that ever made them sound honest, genuine, and sincere,” the alicorn admitted.

“I never quite knew what to make of that status,” Bucky replied. “Well, then I went to the Shetlands. Then I knew what to do. There were suddenly a lot of little ponies who needed protection and everything I learned about my status, which wasn’t much, it all came into perfect focus.” The unicorn fell silent, looking contemplative. His eye fell to the arm of his chair and he studied the pattern of the fabric, examining the warp and the weft of the weave. One ear remained upright, while the other ear drooped down, sticking out sideways at an odd angle.

“I am afraid Buckminster. I really do not know what to do. I feel as though this trip is a dreadful idea, but you and Twilight need the lessons in diplomacy. I am so scared that I am losing sleep over this matter. Something must be done though, and it cannot always be Luna and I who do it. The griffons need to see that Equestria is more than the Royal Pony Sisters. They must be made to respect our strength,” Celestia said, not quite looking Bucky in the eye, her eyes angling downwards to books on the bottom row of a bookshelf nearby.

“Twilight is far stronger than I am,” Bucky stated, shaking his head. “Each day after my lessons with Luna, Lyra, and occasionally Witching Hour, I start to question my abilities,” he admitted, still shaking his head slightly and his nostrils flaring.

“Do not doubt yourself,” Celestia replied reassuringly. “You can do something that Twilight is thus far incapable of. You have killed… you have used your magic to take other lives… Buckminster, I do not want Twilight living with that burden, please, I am begging you, protect my student and keep her from that dreadful knowledge. This is one lesson I hope she never learns.”

“Yeah, I get it, you don’t want her to turn out like me,” Buckminster grumbled.

“I do not mean that,” Celestia argued, her voice as soft as in owl in flight. “It tears apart my insides knowing what you have gone through. I could not bear it if it happened to her as well, please, please… keep her safe and keep her… innocent.”

“I’m not sure about innocence,” Bucky responded. “I mean, have you seen Flash Sentry and Rainbow Dash? I strongly suspect your student is going to end up as the middle in a pony sandwich,” he said, trying to lighten the mood with a joke, unable to bear seeing Celestia looking so distraught. “And when that happens, your student is going to learn all manner of lessons, like sexual multitasking.”

Celestia offered a weak watery smile, a few tears coming out of the corners of her eyes as she looked directly at Bucky. “You really are terrible. There was a point in your life where you would have fainted from even thinking about such a thing.”

“And then I had a ménage à trois,” Bucky returned, speaking Fancy. “Derpy and Berry cured me of that deplorable condition. And you… you said “clitoris” to me and I very nearly died,” he added in a very accusing tone. “You tried to murder me.”

“Just keep her safe,” Celestia requested. “And please, Buckminster, one more thing.”

“What’s that?” Bucky asked.

“Please, do not come home with more wives. Please do not come home married to some of my treasured and beloved national heroes. A griffoness might not be so bad, it would certainly give Platinum something to talk about, but really, do you want to spend the rest of your life with Pinkie Pie?” Celestia replied, raising one eyebrow as she spoke.

Chuckling, Bucky shook his head. He was seeing a side of Celestia he never thought existed. “Well, I have a pegasus, a few earth ponies, a kelpie, and unicorn. All I really need now is an alicorn and I’m set with a well rounded collection.”

“Buckminster… if you work your charm on Twilight I will personally take you to Gelding Grotto,” Celestia warned.

“Who said anything about Twilight?” Bucky deadpanned.

For a moment, the only sound the room was the seemingly thunderous clicking of the wind up clock. Celestia blinked, trying to gauge the level of innuendo and sass she had just encountered, which she estimated had never been this high for at least one thousand years or so. Her mouth fell open and much to her dismay, no words came out. The last pony who had ever spoken to her in such a fearlessly brazen manner had been Sombra, the Sombra of this world, and for a moment, Celestia remembered the gloriously perverted pony that Sombra was, her cheeks blushing a heated crimson as she did so.

“It might be a little weird, calling you “auntie” and all, but we like weird in this family,” Bucky continued in a flat monotone, his lone eyebrow raised in cocky bravado. “How do you feel about being milked?”

“Buckminster,” Celestia began, shaking her head slightly. “Once, a long time ago, I dabbled into sexual sorcery, thinking it was the next logical step to look for a magic greater than friendship because the intimacy and trust involved. I have literally written the book on perversion, both magical and physical, and have even shared some of my findings with you… you… my little pony… are a bold and brave little pony to so willingly seek your wreck and ruination upon my loins.”

“I’m told I am not the brightest little pony,” Bucky admitted with a haughty sigh.

“You have changed,” Celestia said, a faint hint of laughter teasing at her voice. “Really though. Just because some of the Elements of Harmony have not been claimed yet, doesn’t mean you have to lure them in with your dashing good looks and honeyed words.”

“Ouch,” Bucky grunted.

“Buckminster, if I actually hurt you with my jest, I am sorry,” Celestia said hesitantly.

“No, I’m fine, really. Just surprised you went there. I suppose I had it coming after the add an alicorn to my herd joke,” Bucky responded, the good side of his face thoughtful, the bad side of his face frozen into a spiderwebbed mass of scars that never expressed anything but loss and pain. “I will keep your foal safe,” he promised.

“Twilight is not my foal,” Celestia immediately retorted, her tone both angry and defensive, and both of her eyes narrowed.

“Lies do not become you, auntie,” Bucky whispered.

Sputtering, wordless, Celestia tried to recover from Bucky’s accusation and failed. Finally, she regained her composure, closed her mouth, and settled for glaring sullenly at the snarky little unicorn sitting across from her.

“Twilight is just as much your foal as she is Twilight Velvet’s foal. You’ve made a terrible mistake, haven’t you? Softening your heart after all of these long years and letting one of us little flesh and blood mortals so close. You didn’t keep her at a leg’s distance so it wouldn’t hurt so much when she withers and dies of old age. She wasn’t your student and you do her a disservice calling her as such. You once bore the Element of Honesty and you shame yourself with your dishonesty,” Bucky said in a flat emotionless voice.

“I get so lonely… after Sunset Shimmer… I was so fragile,” Celestia confessed.

“Thought you’d try being a mother rather than a teacher?” Bucky questioned, his voice low and sonorous.

“Yes,” Celestia admitted, nodding her head, tears now visibly falling down her cheeks. “I thought if I acted with a mother’s heart I wouldn’t make the same mistakes I made with Sunset Shimmer. I thought… I thought… I thought if I made Twilight love me that she would not dare turn against me.” She paused, shaking her head, her eyes closing. “That sounds so manipulative… I feel so ashamed now that I listen to my own words.”

“I will keep your foal as safe as I can,” Bucky promised.

The Scorned Mare awaited her departure. A crowd of ponies gathered around, and there were many tearful goodbyes under the noonday sun. The mood was subdued, almost somber, and even though there was a large crowd, it was strangely quiet.

Bucky was surrounded by his family, and missing them already. There was a massive pony pile hug, the sort of thing that would have once caused Bucky to have a panic attack, but it was now something he drew strength from.

“Keep him sane,” Derpy begged in a pleading voice to Bon Bon.

“I will,” Bon Bon replied, clinging tightly to the grey pegasus mare.

“Bring daddy back,” Dinky asked Lyra while squeezing the unicorn.

“I will Dinky, I will,” Lyra promised. “I’ll wipe that awful place off of the map if I have to… I love you Dinky.”

“Don’t take no lip… er, no beak from no griffons,” Berry said, looking first at Bucky and then at Lugus. “If you get any kind of threats at all, you don’t let them get the chance to get the drop on you...you collect their heads and seek forgiveness from Celestia later. Lugus, you keep him SAFE. I am charging you with your chief’s safety.”

“Yes, I understand Berry. Ripple and I understand our duties as bodyguards,” Lugus replied, bowing his head low as Berry wrapped her forelegs around him and offered up a crushing hug.

“Ripple… you listen to your big sister… if there is trouble, you punch first and ask questions later... if there are any survivors,” Loch demanded. “And you’d be stupid to leave survivors… just saying.”

“I will,” Ripple replied.

“Come home,” Sparkler begged.

“Rising Star, you are in charge while I am gone. Look after your mothers and your siblings. I am trusting you with their safety and their comfort,” Bucky instructed.

“Yes sir,” Rising Star answered.

“I wish you didn’t have to go…”

“Rarity, come home to me,” Coco said in a breathy whisper as she held Rarity close.

“I want to come home to you,” Rarity whispered to Coco. “Look after my sister, Sweetie Belle. Mother and father are not the most attentive parents. Sweetie needs supervision…”

“Sweetie and I are good friends, I will keep her safe,” Coco promised, offering reassurance to Rarity.

“I know, look after Apple Bloom and the others,” Silver Shill said preemptively.

“Apple Bloom will be fine… look after Big Mac. Even with Cheerilee, Mac gets in quite a state if his sister isn’t around to keep his head screwed on straight. Ever since we lost our parents, he… he gets himself all worked up if he can’t keep an eye on me and know that I am safe. He’s probably gonna cry at some point, and it is going to be the most heartbreaking thing you’ll ever see… just try to comfort the big lug. Keep him distracted,” Applejack said in a low voice.

“I’ll do what I can,” Silver promised.

“Twilight, stay safe.”

“I will stay safe Celestia.”

“You let Buckminster keep you safe. Let him do what he does best.”

“And I will do what I do best, I get it… I will miss you Celestia.”

“I love you, my dearest Fluttershy.”

“I -squeak!- know Discord. Honey, your hooves are wandering -squeal!- oh yes, please squeeze me there.”

“Stay close to your friends at all times. And stay especially close to Buckminster. When the killing starts you’ll be safer that way. Just stay close to the deific demiurge manifestation of war and make sure you smile and wave to the dying-”

“Discord, none of that sort of talk… you hush mister.”

“...”

“That’s better… who’s a good draconequus?”

“I am.”

“That’s right. And my good little cute cuddly draconequus gets to play with naughty Fluttershy… when I get home… YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE ME!”

Author's Notes:

Next chapter... trapped on an airship with Pinkie Pie.

This chapter... typos maybe?