“I love this house. It is so beautiful,” Coco said to Derpy in a refined voice. She smiled graciously and her ears perked forward. “So spacious and perfect for raising foals with a big family.” Pausing, Coco cast a quick glance at Rarity. “I would like to have a family someday.”

“The house is certainly large. It is so very quaint. It has a certain… rustic charm,” Rarity said slowly as she looked around, oblivious to Coco’s furtive glance.

“Rarity, when you say it like that it almost sounds insulting. It is like you can’t think of anything nice to say so you put it into friendly trendy fashion terms as a hollow compliment,” Coco said in a low demure voice, leaning close to Rarity as she spoke.

“Coco… dear… I-”

“She’s right,” Derpy said sullenly, closing one eye and glaring at Rarity.

“That was never my intention… I…” Rarity said, her words trailing off into a stammer followed by silence. She moued, her lip protruding, and then looked at Coco, her eyes large with hurt.

“It isn’t honest, and it makes you sound a bit like Suri Polomare,” Coco said in an apologetic tone. “I’m sorry, I’m an earth pony, and I must abide by my sense of honesty because I don’t want to turn out like Suri who ignored her earth pony sense. And we both know what that did to her.”

“You’re right… Coco… Derpy… can you both forgive me? I have my faults, I’ll admit. Sometimes I just don’t know what to say and I guess the wrong words spill out. Coco, will you help me get better?” Rarity said, offering an apology and asking for help.

“I forgive you,” Derpy grumbled. “I know how easy it can be to stumble over words.”

“I forgive you as well and I will take you to task,” Coco replied to Rarity, a soft smile spreading across her muzzle. “And if you disappoint me, I have a well practiced pouty expression.”

“You are a good… friend... Coco,” Rarity said in low voice.

Smiling, Derpy watched the pair with interest, her keen powers of pegasus observation kicking into overdrive as she watched Coco’s earth pony body language expressing Coco’s feelings, the feelings that Coco obviously hadn’t expressed to Rarity yet. “You know, we have a fully stocked bar. Both of you should have a few drinks. I’m sorry, I can’t join you, foals in my tummy and all,” Derpy invited.

“Oh my, a few drinks sound lovely. I would die for a gin and tonic,” Rarity said, accepting Derpy’s offer.

Coco, realising what was going on, shot Derpy a glance, smiled, raised one eyebrow, her eyes darted to Rarity for one moment, and then her tail swished from side to side. “Yes, I do believe a few drinks would help me to relax and enjoy myself. I’m the shy quiet sort, and I have trouble in crowds. Makes it difficult to be in the fashion industry.”

“Nopony ever takes us sidekicks seriously, we’re always unappreciated and left in the background. Where would the hero be without us?” Spike grumbled in annoyance. He took a long drink of home brewed rootbeer, patted his belly, belched out a multi-octave belch, and squinted one eye in annoyance. “Twilight would fall apart without me. I never get enough thanks.”

Shrugging, Sentinel downed a long gulp of rootbeer, burped thunderously, using his best pegasus manners, and looked at Spike with wide eyes. “I don’t have that problem. I am secure in my position.”

“That’s not fair,” Spike growled, raising his clawed hand, curling it into a fist, and shaking it in a frustrated gesture. “I’d like to be a squire. I’m stuck being an assistant.”

“A squire isn’t fun and games. Do you know how many officer’s manuals I’ve had to read? And I am still reading? And the pressures… don’t get me started on the pressures of being a Cornet. There is an entire book on initiating duels and the etiquette of dispute. You know, I’ve discovered a glaring discrepancy by reading from officer’s manuals. Ripple isn’t supposed to be an officer. She’s female. Females are forbidden from holding combat roles and ranks. Nothing in my life makes sense,” Sentinel groused. He guzzled down the last half of his bottle of rootbeer, set it aside, and cracked open another using his teeth. Spitting out the bottle cap, he raised it in salute to Spike, and then took a long drink. Once finished, he belched again, causing Rarity, who was walking through the dining room at the moment to freeze in place with a look of disgust, Coco giggled, and Derpy, his mother, shot him a look.

“Sentinel, you disappoint me,” Derpy said in a disapproving voice.

“I should say!” Rarity cried. “There are guests over!”

“I’m sorry mother, I shall try to do better, please forgive me,” Sentinel begged.

“Next time, open your mouth more and pull your throat open. Tilt your head back ever so slightly. I swear, you’re worse than Dinky. No colt of mine should have such poor manners,” Derpy scolded.

“I really am sorry… really,” Sentinel whimpered. He slumped down in his chair and sulked, his expression one of pain and discomfort. “I try so hard.”

“I… don’t understand… anything that goes on around me… anymore,” Rarity stammered, shaking her head and blinking rapidly. “I think I need that drink.”

The crickets were out in force, the evening settling over the farmhouse, and the party was still going strong. Foals (and one dragon) were out chasing fireflies, most of the adults were out in the front yard, and quite a few ponies had imbibed a bit of social lubricant, making them quite loquacious as equines tend to be after a few drinks.

The entire party came to a grinding halt when Coco Pommel pulled Rarity in for a smouldering tongue invading kiss. Rarity resisted, pulling and eventually breaking away from a disappointed looking Coco, whose eyes immediately began to moisten.

“I don’t think I’ve had nearly enough to drink just yet,” Rarity announced in an an embarrassed voice. She lifted the drink levitating beside her to her lips and guzzled down the entire glass of gin and tonic that was mostly gin with very little tonic, smacked her lips, and then pulled Coco in for a quick apologetic kiss, followed by picking up where they had left off with the tongue invading kiss.

The gathered adults watched for a moment, and Twilight immediately ran away from Flash Sentry, who was standing beside her. She darted over to Fluttershy and Discord, sitting down beside them, and grinned sheepishly as she peered around with her ears pinned back against her skull.

“What’s her problem?” Rainbow Dash asked, looking Flash Sentry in the eye.

“I have no idea,” Flash replied.

“Ugh, sounds like Soarin eating pie,” Rainbow muttered, her gaze falling upon Rarity and Coco, who were now lying down in the grass and clinging to one another, making out for the whole world to see.

“That’s kinda hot,” Flash Sentry whispered.

Rainbow, hearing Flash’s whisper, slugged the pegasus on the shoulder. “Don’t be a creep, Flash,” Rainbow grunted.

The orange pegasus bristled. He raised one eyebrow, glared at Rainbow Dash, and with one well practiced movement of his wing, slapped the sky blue pegasus across the muzzle.

“What the hay?” Rainbow shouted angrily. “How dare you slap me?”

The party froze again, with the exception of Rarity and Coco Pommel, who were far too interested in one another to stop what they were doing and watch the pegasi challenging one another. Educated observers noted that it was a friendly wing slap, which probably hurt Flash just as much as it did Rainbow, in return for Rainbow’s punch, which had only hurt Flash. There were a few gasps.

“You might treat your flockmates like that, but I am not your flockmate,” Flash Sentry growled. “And I will be treated with the respect I am owed for the service that I do.”

“Respect? You’ve been necking and dancing with Twilight all night, displaying your plumage, and then you go off and watch two mares make out and talk about how sexy they are… you… you… friend stealing pervert!” Rainbow Dash puffed out her barrel, her legs with stiff, both wings extended, her tail raised and swishing from side to side. “You jerk!” Rainbow shouted, slapping Flash across the muzzle with her left front hoof.

“Challenge accepted,” Flash snarled, lunging at Rainbow Dash and body checking her, sending her sprawling backwards. Rainbow was upon her feet in a second, angry, embarrassed, and filling up with a full head of steam. She snorted…

“Motherplucker!” Rainbow screamed, skipping the usual opening exchanges and going right for the pegasus pleasantries. She extended both wings and raised both central middle primaries at Flash Sentry, causing shocked cries and gasps from the ponies all around her. She lunged at Flash, moving with incredible speed.

Flash, well trained, intercepted her combat tackle, used Rainbow’s own momentum as leverage, lifted her high, flipped her over, and then slammed her into the grass, flat on her back, knocking the wind out of her. She lay there gasping, trying to suck in wind, her wings flapping. He wing slapped her again across the muzzle.

“You are a bully, a braggart, a boaster, and a boorish brute. You give us pegasi a bad name by perpetuating the stereotypes about us. Strike me again and I will thrash you to within an inch of your life. Are we clear?” Flash asked, one hoof pressing down into Rainbow’s barrel.

Rainbow Dash, never a quitter, reached out and slugged Flash Sentry in the face as hard as she could, and even with a poor angle and poor leverage, the punch connected solidly, sending Flash sprawling into the grass.

He recovered, spitting out blood, and lifted his head high as he watched the pegasus mare recover and climb to her hooves. “My apologies my good ponies, but I am a pegasus of my word,” Flash said, offering an apology. “You asked for it!” he shouted at Rainbow Dash as he charged, wings out, and teeth bared.

“What in the world got into you?” Twilight demanded as she held an ice pack up to Rainbow Dash’s eye, which was swollen completely shut. “I can’t believe you picked a fight with Flash? What is wrong with you?” Twilight repeated angrily, slapping the pegasus she was helping in the back of the pegasus’ head with her wing, making Rainbow groan.

“Ow Twi,” Rainbow Dash whined. “I’ve been beaten up enough already.”

“I’ll say. You picked a fight with a real soldier and he taught you a lesson!” Twilight snapped. “What were you thinking?”

“Aren’t you mad at him for beating the stuffing out of me?” Rainbow Dash whimpered, turning her head to look at Twilight with her other eye, which was half swollen shut and turning an interesting shade of purple green.

“No, but I am so angry with you right now that I can’t figure out why I am helping you. You got what you deserved, and Flash was absolutely right. You use your position as my friend to treat the rest of the flock like you are their… their… their… queen and somepony finally called you on your horseapples!” Twilight shouted.

“Twi!” Rainbow cried. “How could you turn on me?”

“Because you behaved like a… a… a… you acted like a half a horse, and not the front half you stuck up little bully!” Twilight retorted.

“Twi!” Rainbow cried. “... I’m sorry...”

“So am I. Now hold this. I’m gonna go look after Flash, who deserves my help a lot more than you do!” Twilight said, pulling the ice pack away and then throwing it at Rainbow.

“Twilight! Really… I’m sorry. I… I… lo-er, eh, oh gosh, Twilight I’ve had too much to drink and I’m sorry! It went to my head!” Rainbow cried as her friend stomped off.

Realising that Twilight hadn’t heard a word she said, Rainbow Dash slumped down into the grass, and once she checked that nopony was around or watching, began to cry.

“I just screwed up and lost my bestest friend,” Rainbow sobbed to herself.

Author's Notes:

Well, this should cause quite a stir. Have fun folks.

Hopefully, this provides a few laughs and brightens up somebody's day.

There might be a typo.