“Wow, who would have thought there was a word that rhymed with “ophiotaurus” and that you could be so clever in explaining to what in Tartarus this thing was,” Rising Star said to Zecora as he stood over the charred remains of the weird half bull half snake creature that had given them both a scare.

He let out a grunt when he was suddenly hugged by the grateful zebra, who had been grabbed by the horrible monster and nearly swallowed whole. If Rising Star hadn’t responded as quickly as he had, the outcome might have been very different. He could feel Zecora squeezing him and he felt pretty good about everything even though he nearly lost control of his bowels and his bladder just a few minutes ago.

“Oh noble unicorn I owe my entire life to you… you have saved me from being Zecora stew!” Zecora rhymed, still clinging to Rising Star’s neck.

“We’re both equines,” Rising Star replied sheepishly.

“When I go to town... there are many gripes, ponies say bad things... because of my zebra stripes,” Zecora whispered.

“Yeah well, when you need to go to town, you just stop by the farm and you get one of us,” Rising Star grumbled angrily.

Rising Star took a deep breath as Zecora let go and then backed away from him. She was only slightly singed. His magic was dangerous to everything around him, but he had somehow managed to keep from burning Zecora to a crisp. The giant ophiotaurus on the other hoof, it was not so lucky. Flamewhip was an incredibly useful spell. He had wrapped the telekinetically charged lash of fire with physical properties around the ophiotaurus, tied it up, subdued it, and then set it on fire once he had safely secured Zecora away to safety. It was big enough to eat a pony in one gulp.

It settled into his mind exactly what he had done and Rising Star felt his body begin to tremble, the post-kill jitters settling in and doing a terrible number to his already bad nerves.

Seeing Zecora continue onwards, Rising Star hurried to follow her and keep her safe.

The fireoak was a flaming oak tree deep in the heart of the Everfree. Rising Star figured it had to be midnight, and he hoped that his family wasn’t too worried about him. He stood watching the tree in awe, and as he watched, a flaming bipedal figure came dancing and prancing along, moving towards them.

“Mind your manners and make no fuss, a pyrodryad approaches us,” Zecora rhymed reassuringly.

Rising Star watched the dancing figure that walked on two legs, a creature made of living flame. As she drew near, he felt himself igniting somewhat, his mane and tail bursting into flames.

“Thelesignus, how bright you are, my companion here is named Rising Star,” Zecora said, introducing the pair as the pyrodryad drew near.

“Greetings fellow fire spirit trapped in pony-flesh. How are you this fine evening?” Thelesignus inquired politely, her voice a crackling bonfire given speech. The pyrodryad turned to look at Zecora. “Are you in need of acorns?”

Zecora nodded silently and backed away from the pair as it grew uncomfortably warm.

“Would you like an acorn?” the pyrodryad asked, reaching out and stroking Rising Star with a flaming hand with seven fiery fingers that lingered on Rising Star’s neck, trailing upward slowly, and she giggled as she watched the pony shiver at her touch.

“I don’t understand what the acorns are for or what they do,” Rising Star whispered.

“They are fireoak acorns. One day I will find a suitable mate… perhaps a phoenix or a fire spirit trapped in pony-flesh… and then the acorns will become my children and there will be more fireoaks and I will have many pyrodryad daughters… but for now, the acorns are simply nuts. They can be turned into potions, which is why the zebra finds them useful, those potions will burn away almost any infection or disease, even magical ones… or you could eat one,” Thelesignus suggested suggestively.

“I am a happily married pony… very happily married with three wives,” Rising Star stammered nervously.

“One more wife couldn’t hurt,” the pyrodryad whispered as her fingers caressed under Rising Star’s jaw and tickled his chin. “I would share you…”

“No, that’s okay… I’m already in over my head,” Rising Star responded nervously.

“Oh… that’s too bad,” Thelesignus said poutily.

Rising Star watched with terrified fascination as the pyrodryad reached into herself, her hand merging with her own crotch, moved around, and then she pulled out a handful of acorns. She carefully placed them on the ground and made a gesture to Zecora.

He watched as she held up one acorn pinched between her fingers and waved it in a hypnotic manner in front of his snoot. Rising Star found himself mesmerised by the acorn, which was surprisingly not on fire.

“This nut will change you. Phoenixes sometimes eat them to have visions and gain power. Far below your hooves lies a sea of fire. Eat this, and the fire you draw from the ley lines will seem like little but a warm zypher compared to the new fires you will be able to summon. And all I ask in return is a little kiss. Just a tiny kiss on the lips and I will give this acorn to you… a gift of unbelievable power,” Thelesignus said, tapping the acorn on Rising Star’s snoot to punctuate her words.

“Zecora, what should I do?” Rising Star asked.

Zecora, scooping up the acorns and stuffing them into her saddlebags, looked up at Rising Star after securing the last one and shrugged. “Extra power might be nice, will you pay the pyrodryad’s price?”

“Just a friendly little kiss you say?” Rising Star inquired. “What will the acorn do exactly if I eat it? What will happen?” he questioned.

“The fire of the ley lines is the fire of the aether. The fires deep within the earth are different fires. They are the fires of life. The roots of my tree go down deep into the ground and draw from this fire. It is what causes the tree to burn but not die. This acorn,” Thelesignus stated, holding up the nut before Rising Star’s eyes. “This little acorn will make you like my tree. Your hooves will pull up the primordial fire from deep below. This will change you… forever. All of your offspring will be touched by fire. I give you my word that this will not hurt you or rob you of your pony form. But I can see into your mind. I know what you desire. You desire to keep your family safe. This will let you do that… this will give you the power you need to secure their future… and all I want is a kiss.”

“Seems too good to be true,” Rising Star muttered.

“Perhaps we should go and just be on our way, you can go home and forget the gifts of the fey,” Zecora interjected.

The pyrodryad blazed brighter for a moment. “Yes, I am fey… but I give you my word. This will not hurt you. This will help you keep your family safe! This will give you a level of control that you could only dream of otherwise. Your wife… Sparkler… yes, I can hear her name in your mind… both of you would draw from the same source. Your magics would merge… become powerful… you would be able to cast symbiotic magic with one another. All I want is a kiss.”

“A kiss doesn’t seem like such a terrible price to pay,” Rising Star said, feeling temptation. Control. Power. All of his future foals gifted with fire. He was having a hard time seeing the drawback to any of this.

“Fiery earth magic. A natural connection to everything that comes from the earth, including metals. Just think of what you could do as a smith if you could connect with the metals you worked with. And all I require is one willing kiss,” Thelesignus offered.

“I will give you what you want,” Rising Star whispered hesitantly. “Just one quick meaningless kiss.”

Thelesignus pressed the acorn up against Rising Star’s lips, and when he opened his mouth, she pressed it onto his tongue. She then placed her hand under his jaw and closed his mouth, and leaned in close.

The acorn was bliss. Rising Star had no words to describe the flavour. It filled his mouth and burned through his body. He felt heat rippling and radiating from his skin. He felt pressure behind his eyes and in his horn. He felt a strange feeling in his hooves. He looked down and saw that his hooves were changing. Right before his eyes, they were warping. He felt a weird feeling of peaceful confusion, a sense of sleepy awareness that made his head feel swimmy. His hooves were splitting. He felt a hand under his chin lifting his head up. Everything was fire. He felt two lips briefly touch his own, and a powerful jolt traveled through his body. He felt strange as the pyrodryad pulled away, and he heard peals of laughter fill the Everfree forest all around him.

“At last I will have my daughters!”

WHAT? Rising Star’s brain screamed at him. It was only a kiss something inside of his brain said. His legs wobbled and he felt weak. His balls felt like he had been rutting Sparkler and Loch Skimmer all night. He let out a wordless cry and heard Zecora shouting something, but he could not make out what was being said.

Suddenly, everything exploded into fire. Rising Star felt himself being pulled into the flames and sucked down into the ground, the earth devouring him and swallowing him whole.

Rising Star came to awareness slowly. He was laying next to a river of fire, a running river of magma. He groaned and rubbed his head. He caught a glimpse of his hoof and did a double take. His hoof was cloven, like a goat’s hoof. His legs were longer. He braced his hooves beneath him and stood up. He was taller. His tail felt weird. There was something pointy inside of his mouth, and he ran his tongue over what he could only assume were fangs.

Turning around to look at his own backside, he saw his tail was now like a donkey’s tail.

“Oh stars! I’m a storybook creature! I’ve turned into one of those fey unicorns like in the stories my mother used to read to me… oh nuts what do I do… what have I done? What did I get myself into? And where am I?” Rising Star said to himself as he began to peer around.

“You must be new here,” a voice said.

Rising Star turned around, trying to take everything in. Nearby was a tree. A tree on fire. And in the tree was some kind of bird. Also on fire. “Where is here?” Rising Star asked politely.

“You mean you don’t know?”

“Well, no, if I knew, I wouldn’t be asking.”

“Whatta moron. Kid, you’re in Tartarus.”

“WHAT?” Rising Star screamed.

“This is the realm of Scorch the Usurper. The fey fire elemental,” the bird replied.

“I’m in Tartarus?” Rising Star whimpered.

“This is a nice part of Tartarus,” the bird answered with a cackle. “At least if you are a fire elemental. Otherwise, this is a HORRIBLE PLACE!”

Rising Star looked around. Everything was on fire. There was a river of magma, he was standing on hot black coals, and a raging inferno blazed in the distance. The air was filled with the stench of brimstone, which for some reason didn’t bother him.

“Oh by the stars I was so STUPID!” Rising Star shouted.

“Eh, you’re one of us now. Scorch will find a purpose for you. He found one for me. I show up and taunt new arrivals. Well, I shouldn’t be taunting you, you are a fellow fire elemental, but, eh, screw you anyway. I am supposed to torment the souls sent here for processing,” the bird explained.

“Oh pony farts… I’m in Tartarus… I don’t want to be here,” Rising Star whined. “I have three wives at home… a family that loves me.”

“Tough luck kid. I hear these sad sob stories all the time. Anyway, I’m off. I am going to go peck out the eyes of the damned and maybe get a bite of delicious genitals from the all you can eat corpse buffet,” the bird said as it took wing and flew off.

Alone, afraid, and uncertain what to do, Rising Star focused his magic and attempted to send a message to Princess Celestia through the living fire.

Author's Notes:

And this is why you never make deals with fey creatures.

Beware of the Typos of Tartarus.