“I don’t want…. this...” Bucky said haltingly as he gestured to the world around him. He took a long slug of mead and then set the jug down. “I just want a quiet life with foals and those I love,” he muttered in irritation.

Berry Punch exchanged a glance with Derpy, but neither of them said anything.

“I want those chains that Celestia saw fit to bind me with. I need those. I keep getting little glimpses of the future, little peeks into what might be, and I don’t want any of it!” Bucky bellowed. “I don’t even have the luxury of self pity and neurosis anymore… I can’t just slip away from reality with a panic attack because so much is depending on me… but nothing should depend on me… I… I… I hate that I have no control over my life or the events that keep happening to me!” he snarled.

“Bucky-” Berry began.

“All I did was poke my snoot into magic a bit more than most and that sealed my fate. Something that I loved. I couldn’t control my life, I couldn’t control how my parents treated me. I couldn’t make them love me and I could never earn their approval now matter how hard I tried, but I could control magic. It was the only thing I could control as a foal. I did impossible things. I couldn’t make my parents love me but I could make reality bend and flex to my will. And because I wanted some means of control in my life, some small means of comfort, of something I had control over, I ended up tangled up in this destiny that I want no part of! I don’t want to be the alicorn of war. I don’t want want to be the alicorn of anything. I don’t want to be Sombra’s heir or the Lord of Winter. I want to be the pony that makes my wives make funny faces when I screw them silly,” Bucky rambled. He tilted back the jug he was holding in his magic and guzzled down at least half of it in one go. He wobbled unsteadily. He was expending no real magic to burn away the alcohol’s effects upon him and he had already downed an entire crockery of strawberry wine and a jug of whiskey that had been about one third full when he had entered the lab earlier.

“Bucky please-” Berry continued as she lifted her hoof towards Bucky.

“I want to have tea parties with Piña. I want to watch Dinky grow up and become whatever she is meant to be. I want to grow old with somepony. I want to watch Sentinel grow up and fall in love with somepony, because I know that it would be hilarious to watch the stuffy little guy fumbling around in love and trying to act all noble. I want to live and see just how floofy Harper’s mane becomes because right now her mane is pretty fecking floofy and I don’t care what Bon Bon says…” Bucky ranted.

“Floofy?” Derpy said, repeating the strange word.

“Fluffy-poofy,” Bucky explained, his words slightly slurred. “And then there is Sparkler, Rising Star, Loch Skimmer, and Ripple… I want to see them make their marriage work… Loch Skimmer is already starting to heal and now she is blossoming into the most wonderful filly… young mare… -bluuurghph- that belch tasted terrible… I worry about Ripple, but she is starting to trust me and I treasure every moment where she touches me or hugs me and she isn’t afraid of me… I want to look after my girls… I love my girls. My girls… I love them all so much,” he mumbled.

Berry leaned over closer to Derpy and raised her eyebrow. “He’s drank himself to the “I love everypony” stage already, look out,” she warned.

Derpy looked around the lab, not sure what she was seeing, and wished she was someplace else. There were glass orbs carefully stacked in crates. There was a big glass orb that swirled with rainbows and darkness sitting on a stand. There were a few ingots of brass, sand was everywhere, and there was a collection of marked containers sitting upon a low table. As she looked around, she saw a glass pegasus sitting on the workbench.

“What’s that?” Derpy asked.

“A pegasusususususus,” Bucky answered. “I made it before you two showed up… I was lonely,” he confessed.

“It’s beautiful,” Derpy said.

“Bucky, the sun hasn’t even set and you disappeared off by yourself. We sort of figured we’d find you here. You don’t need to be lonely,” Berry said.

“Is that me?” Derpy asked, squinting at the glass figure with her good eye. She could see details in the glass… including a few distinctive bubbles.

“In miniature,” Bucky replied. “Every curve, every detail, all from memory. Every contour of your body, and I made a copy out of glass…” he muttered. “I was about to make one of Berry Punch before you both showed up.”

“You… made a little glass version of me?” Derpy questioned, her eyes now misting over.

“I wanted to remind myself how fragile life was… so I made a glass pegasusususususus to talk to,” Bucky explained. He tilted back the jug of mead and killed it off, guzzling down the rest of the contents. He belched thunderously and the sound of rattling glass was ominous.

“Can… can I have it?” Derpy asked in a strangely bashful voice.

Bucky looked at Derpy and his head cocked to the side. “But I was going to talk to her,” he murmured.

“You can talk to me,” Derpy said, moving closer to the figure. “I guess it is very fragile,” she added as she approached.

“Oh no,” Bucky replied. “She is… she is… -hiccup- she is very precious to me. I wanted a reminder of how fragile life is, so I made a glass pegasususususususus as symbolism… she’s actually harder than steel, just like the pegasususususususus I modeled her after.”

“Nopony has ever done anything this nice for me ever,” Derpy said in a husky voice. “Something so beautiful… I am just an ugly grey mare with messed up eyes,” she added. The pegasus mare broke down into tears and began to sob pitifully. She covered her face with her wings as her whole body was wracked with sobs.

“Oh sheesh, one is drunk and the other has mommy hormones,” Berry muttered.

“Oh… noes… I did something to make my pegasusususususus cry… I am such a shite,” Bucky groaned as he wobbled back and forth.

Berry covered her eyes with one fetlock and shook her head. “Bucky, use some magic, sober yourself up,” Berry requested.

“No… and you can’t make me,” Bucky retorted as he crashed to the floor. “Stop moving the floor Berry, that’s cheating. I don’t know how you are doing it, but I don’t like it,” he grumbled.

Berry Punch looked at the two ponies in the room with her, and she felt her own mommy hormones threatening to kick in and make life uncomfortable. She took a deep breath and tried to hold on to her patience.

“Berry, leave the floor alone…” Bucky begged.

“Somepony thinks I am pretty,” Derpy wailed. The pegasus fell over onto the floor and curled into a little ball of misery as she cried.

“Keg Smasher said that a member of Clan Pickled is never drunk just so long as they can hold on to the earth and not fall off… I refuse to let go… now stop it Berry!” Bucky pleaded.

Berry Punch rolled her eyes and rubbed her head with her forehoof. She was supposed to be the irresponsible pony. She had the reputation of being the wild untamed Shetland mare. She knew all too well what other ponies thought about her. They never thought of how she was Piña’s caretaker or how hard she worked. And she wished that the gossipers could see her now.

“Berry!” Bucky shouted.

“Derpy, pull yourself together. We need to haul Bucky back to our room and try to get him to sober up somehow,” Berry said gently to the sobbing pegasus.

“He thinks I’m beautiful,” Derpy sobbed.

“He’s told you that you are beautiful,” Berry said, trying to hold back her rising frustration.

“But those are words… the glass pony is proof,” Derpy whined in a shuddering voice.

Berry Punch felt her frustrations slip away and her heart softened.

“I married a pretty pegasusususususus and a pretty earfy pony -braaap- and I’ve done things so perverted with both of them that it would make my mommy throw up,” Bucky announced as he rolled over onto his back. “My mommy is an insufferable coont,” he added, his words both slurred and filled with the Shetland accent. “Coont coont coont.”

Berry bit down on her lip and it took all of her willpower to keep from laughing.

“I can’t even imagine how my daddy kept his dick hard when he was screwing that frigid coont… I wonder if -bleeeeergh- if that is why I am a unicorn with cold magic… cold coont,” Bucky ranted.

Berry nearly choked on her own tongue as she tried to keep her composure. She pulled Derpy up into a sitting position.

“Coontcicle,” Bucky muttered.

The earth pony mare suffered total failure and could no longer hold it in. Berry Punch brayed with laughter as she tried to comfort the miserable pegasus.

“I spent eleven months -bruuuurph- escaping that cold coont, and I am going to spend the rest of my life trying to get inside of a hot one,” Bucky muttered as he rolled on the floor.

Derpy, still crying, began to giggle as Berry held her. Her barrel hitched from both sobbing and laughter. “He’s really drunk,” she said in a shuddering voice.

Berry struggled to catch her breath. “I do believe the booze has had time to settle in,” she replied breathlessly.

“I once caught my father whipping himself -hurk- with a drapery cord because he had a stiffy,” Bucky announced.

Berry fell silent for a moment… Bucky’s words were far too serious to laugh at. Yet even as she tried to hold it in, she felt it slipping out. She chortled at first and then slipped back into laughter.

Derpy wiped her eyes, looked at the glass pegasus, looked at her husband sprawled on the floor, and then looked at Berry. “Do we have any hope at being a normal family?” Derpy asked as she sniffled and giggled softly.

Berry watched as Bucky’s horn ignited. “Oh good, he’s going to sober himself up,” she whispered in relief. She waited, hoping that Bucky would burn away his inebriation with a magical release. As she watched, a brown crockery jug popped into existence. She heaved a sigh of frustration.

“I conjured it from the kitchen cellars… maaaaaagic,” Bucky said as he pulled the stopper free. He hugged the jug to his barrel, lifted his head from the floor, and chugged down a fair bit. “Oooh… -huuuuurgh!- brandywine,” he grumbled.

“Oh he is going to be as drunk as a lord,” Berry sighed.

“Berry Punch… my faithful earfy -huuuurgraaaap!- pony wife… give me a foal named Brandywine and I will forgive you for making the floor move,” Bucky announced. He held the jug up to his lips and gulped down the contents held within.

“We need to get him back to our room,” Berry Punch said to the pegasus beside her. “You grab the glass pegasus that is the proof of your beauty and I’ll try to get Bucky on my back,” she instructed.

“I’d rather crawl on your belly and rut your teats,” Bucky stated. He belched again before chugging down more brandywine.

“Change of plans Derpy… I am going to give him what he wants if that’s okay. If he wants rough drunken nookie, he is going to get it,” Berry said.

“Uh oh,” Bucky said, his voice full of real fear. He started to try and wiggle away across the floor, tugging his jug with him.

“You go ahead Berry… I’m not in the mood at the moment, but I’ll be happy to watch,” Derpy consented. “I feel really emotional,” she added.

“Bucky, you’d better have a few more drinks, because I am going to screw your bones into paste,” Berry threatened.

“He’s sleeping so peacefully now,” Thistle commented as she held Harper close to her.

“He’s soused,” Derpy replied, her gaze lingering on the glass pegasus on the table. Derpy made no mention of the roughing up Bucky endured at the hooves of the sexually frustrated earth pony. He had passed out with a smile on his face, just as Berry had said he would.

“Daddy smells,” Piña said.

“He’s had some drinks… he had a rough moment and he needed a way to let his mane down,” Derpy explained gently.

“He stinks like booze and hot sweaty pony,” Dinky quipped.

“I know,” Derpy said.

“He smells like Berry,” Sentinel announced.

“Sentinel!” Bon Bon snapped.

“Well, he does. I can tell everypony apart by how they smell,” Sentinel muttered.

“Well, you shouldn’t say it… I’m sure you know what he smells like…” Bon Bon said uncomfortably.

“Oh, I do know exactly what he smells like,” Sentinel confirmed.

“Sentinel!” Bon Bon snapped again.

“Nopony can hide anything from my nose,” Sentinel muttered.

Lyra squirmed uncomfortably at Sentinel’s words and then stared at Bon Bon. She made an embarrassed squeak after a moment of staring and then looked away, looking at the glass pegasus instead.

“Oh this is not going to help Lyra’s neurosis,” Bon Bon muttered.

“He’s been giving my sister special cuddles again, hasn’t he?” Piña asked.

“Yes Piña, he has,” Bon Bon replied in a gentle voice.

“When he’s inside of her, he’s not poking the foals in her belly is he?” Piña inquired out of foalish curiousity.

Derpy choked and tried to suck in wind, and Lyra began to pound her on the back. The pegasus wheezed as she tried to fill her lungs with air and failed repeatedly. Her face turned a frightful shade of purple.

“No Piña dear,” Bon Bon replied. “The foals are safe, I promise you,” she added in a strained voice.

“Do the foals know that he is poking around in there? Does it scare them? Do they see it coming right at them and then swim out of the way or whatever it is they do in there?” Piña questioned.

Derpy horked at each and every one of Piña’s questions until finally she threw back her head and opened her mouth wide, struggling to draw air. Lyra continued to pound on her back, now looking quite frantic and distressed.

Sentinel sat quietly, his ears splayed out to the sides of his head. His eyes were closed and he was as still as a statue. Piña’s words were going to haunt him forever, and he was already struggling to find some way to live in peace with them. He silently cursed Piña’s inquisitive nature. He loved his sister dearly, but lived in constant fear of some of her questions.

Dinky had covered her eyes with her forehooves and was curled into a small ball of awkward emotion on the floor. Her sides heaved as she took deep breaths and tried to make the embarrassing new world she now lived in go away. She wondered if there was a spell that erased memories.

Bon Bon now understood a little bit of how Lyra must feel. The corner of her eye twitched and she could feel her ear flickering. The corner of her mouth tugged as her cheek contracted from her eye twitches.

Thistle held Harper, the kelpie’s eyes now as wide. Her ears were folded back against her skull. “Berry Punch was never more needed than she is right now… she picked a terrible time to visit the loch for a dip,” she groaned.

Lyra mechanically continued to pound Derpy on the back as her brain slipped off to its happy place. This was why she was a lesbian. No difficult penis questions had to be answered. She silently swore that her womb would remain a penis free environment.

“Why is everypony so quiet?” Piña asked timidly.

Author's Notes:

I had a blast writing this chapter. I hope you enjoy reading it.

See any typos? Let me know and I will fix them.

And I guess there's been another downvote. We're at 49 now. 49 people are soulless monsters who don't want Derpy to be happy.