Generic stood on the edge of the growing crowd and shuffled his hooves. It wasn’t that he disliked crowds, or that he didn’t want to be part of the event. Far from it, this crowd of ponies was rather quiet and polite, and he did like learning. But the large sign that fluttered in the gentle breeze proclaiming “Writing Seminar” disturbed him. Maybe he would look like an idiot. Maybe they would teach him wrong.

With a grunt, Generic summoned up his courage and stepped into the crowd. Other ponies be damned, he wanted to improve!

Soon he was being jostled and pushed around until he found himself at the very front of the group, not a half dozen hoofsteps from the short wooden stage. The large blackboard that dominated the rear of the stage was clearly visible from his spot. So were the little pieces of quill-shaped decorations and the hastily built side walls, whose construction mistakes were covered by a navy blue curtain.

From here, the hushed tones of pony whispers traveled easily from one end of the crowd to the next. Everypony was shifting uneasily, eagerly awaiting the beginning of the seminar.

He noticed a lavender mare running back and forth across the stage. Behind her trailed a meter-long list with hundreds of checked-off boxes and notes. The list flapped and fluttered as she moved around hurriedly, occasionally hitting the short purple and green dragon that followed her wearing an expression of worry and exasperation. “Come on, Twilight,” he said. “The show has to start soon. Stop worrying about your list and start!”

The unicorn that the dragon had called Twilight twisted around to face the baby dragon. “Spike, I can’t just start! The special guest from Canterlot isn’t here! And if she shows up late then the show is going to be ruined and everypony is going to write badly and it will all be my fau-” Suddenly, a great billowing cloud of confetti exploded right in the centre of the stage, startling everypony into backing away in fright.

“Fear not, little ponies, for the Great and Powerful Trixie is here!” a loud and obnoxious voice from within the puffy blue cloud declared. Slowly, the smoke was pulled away by the wind to reveal a blue unicorn wearing a purple magician's cape and hat. The mare reared on her hind legs and proudly posed for the gaping crowd.

“Spike, pinch me,” said Twilight, her mouth agape.

Slowly, the Great and Powerful Trixie returned to a normal stance and began inching forward towards the curious crowd. “Ponies of Ponyville, today I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, will teach you how to write!” More streamers and little fireworks appeared, flying into the air before they fizzled and popped out of existence.

“Oh, my,” exclaimed a quiet voice from Generic’s right. He turned and nodded to the timid yellow pegasus cowering beside him. ‘Oh my’ was right. That mare looked crazy.

Twilight stepped forward and stood in front of Trixie, her face both resolute and slightly miffed. “I’m sorry, Miss ‘Great and Powerful Trixie,’” she said, punctuating her words with air-quotes, “but this is a serious seminar. And unless you’re the replacement of Miss Lulamoon I’m afraid-”

“Fool, I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, am Lulamoon!” More streamers and confetti. The little dragon ran onto the stage with a broom and pan and began cleaning them off the stage. Trixie gave him a distasteful stare.

Twilight’s tail and mane stood on end. “You’re Miss Lulamoon, the famous editor from the Salt Block!?”

“Indeed! Trixie is also Great and Powerful in the literary arts!”

Twilight groaned and slapped her hoof to her face in exasperation. “This is going to be a long day.” Generic heard her whisper and secretly agreed. She perked up. “Well, might as well get this over with!” Both her urgency and good cheer seemed contagious. Many in the crowd inched forward, until they too stood eagerly at the edge of the stage.

“Alright,” began Twilight, “our goal during this six day seminar is to help you novice writers learn how to... well, write.”

“Indeed! Trixie is disappointed by the decrease in the quality found in the drivel you send to her inbox. And so she is wasting her precious time to teach you blubbering fools!”

Generic was slightly stunned. He knew that his writing wasn't the best, but really, calling it drivel... “Trixie! Maybe one reason the quality has dropped is because you call everypony idiots instead of actually helping them!” said Twilight.

Trixie huffed and looked aside. “Trixie believes that you, too, are a blubbering idiot.”

Groaning, Twilight facehoofed again. “Let’s just get this over with.” Levitating a piece of chalk, the unicorn turned to the blackboard and began to write. “This seminar is spread over six parts. The first is all about the introductions and, later on, basic prose.” Taking a deep breath, she continued. “The subsequent days will proceed as such: Tommorow, dealing with editors, pre-readers and proofreaders. After that, writing tips. The day after that will be about coping with depression and anxiety.” Twilight looked down and grumbled under her breath, “I’ll need that one if that mare sticks around.” Coughing, she resumed. “And, finally, the subject matter or chosen topic of writing.”

Generic followed the list but only counted five activities. Before he could raise his hoof and politely point it out, Trixie spoke up. “Stupid mare, you can’t even count to six!” Pointing, she laughed cruelly at the quickly reddening Twilight.

“The sixth day,” Twilight huffed, “will be reserved for a Q and Neigh, where we,” she said, glancing pointedly at Trixie, “will attempt to answer your questions.”

“Hmm, fine then. Shall we begin?” Trixie, not waiting for an answer, trotted to the edge of the stage and sat down. Gently, she removed her hat and deposited it on the stage with nary a whisper. The crowd held its breath in anticipation.

“Prose... The common writer and prose have such a love and hate relationship. Prose loves to make the author suffer, and they hate it for that. However, it cannot be denied: if the concept and idea for a story is the recipe, than prose is the dish. While your meal can only be as good as your recipe, you can just as easily botch the cooking process and make beef bourguignon look like decomposing cat food.” Her voice became haughty as she spoke.

Without warning, her expression hardened and she stared daggers at the crowd, many flinching when they saw the look of deep loathing and hatred. “Trixie hates prose.”

Twilight looked at her oddly. “Um... yes, I can... er, understand.” She gulped. “Mastering prose is the first step in writing well. Prose sets the pace of the story and determines the amount of detail a story will have. Good prose can turn an otherwise boring story into a masterpiece. It’s all about the pacing, really.” She sounded a little uncertain.

“Pacing is very important...” encouraged Trixie as she looked at Twilight from behind a half-lidded eye.

“Right! Pacing in a story is everything. It is also one of the biggest aspects of prose after detailing. For example, if the writer wants a scene to move quickly then he or she would add fewer details. The opposite is also true: A slower pace is achieved by adding more depth. Detailing locations, the appearance of characters, perhaps adding tidbits of information that might not yet be important to develop the plot and atmosphere. It also allows for gradual plot and atmosphere building...” Twilight looked at Trixie, willing her to speak up more.

“Maybe an example is in order?”

“Right!” Twilight ran to the far edge of the stage and whispered loudly to the dragon nodding off to sleep. He jumped up, shook his head and listened to her before running off, drowsy-eyed.

“While my inept partner attempts to organize herself, Trixie will explain more about slow pacing. To make the pace slower, the writer may not only add description but also has the opportunity to delve into a character’s mind. Seeing what a character thinks and feels can help the reader sympathize with or hate them. Trixie believes that this is very important in creating a good story.”

Generic thought about it and concurred that it made quite a bit of sense. Maybe the showmare wasn’t so crazy after all.

“Hurry, Twilight, if you stand there mouth agape all day long then Trixie will have to do all the work....”

“Sorry, everypony,” said the blushing mare as she turned to face the crowd. A thin, crackly book floated at her side, wrapped in her purple magic. “Here, we have a fast-paced story. Let me read you a scene as an example of quick pacing.”

She cleared her throat then floated the book over, opened it, and began to read while her levitating chalk wrote along on the board behind her:

“Her attention was stolen as tracers flew past the nose of her fighter. The two bi-planes were rushing towards her, guns blazing as they attempted to get a fix on her little plane.

‘Dammit, leave me alone!’ She applied some rudder and shifted the nose of her plane until it faced one of the bi-planes head on. Both aircrafts fired at each other. Scootaloo flinched but kept pulling the trigger as bullets dinged off of the weak armor that adorned her craft. It couldn’t take much of this.

With a satisfying boom, the Requisitor’s fuel tank caught fire. The resulting explosion sent the flaming body of the ship flying in one direction, while what was left of its wing spun crazily towards the ground below.”

~From “of Steam Gears and Wings

“Stupid self-serving author,” muttered Trixie.

“What?”

“Nothing!” came the bright reply.

“Anyway,” continued Twilight, “As you can clearly see there isn’t that much in terms of description. Rather, more time is spent on showing the action.” Twilight gave the gathered ponies a winning smile; Generic felt his heart flutter. “Now I’ll show you-”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie is bored. She has not spoken a full sentence in almost a minute. This shall be rectified!” With a burst of magic Twilight was lifted into the air and carried over to Trixie’s side.

“Whaaa!?” Twilight yelped as she landed with a hollow thump.

Trixie turned to her and flatly declared, “I hate you.”

An awkward silence stretched across the crowd. Even Twilight just blindly stared at Trixie’s face.

Trixie turned to the crowd. “You see? That was boring and dull.”

She turned back to Twilight and bowed onto one of her knees. Slowly she lowered her head until her hat hid her face from the crowd. When her face reappeared, the corner of her eyes were flecked with tears, her muzzle pulled back as she bared her teeth aggressively towards Twilight. “I hate you.” Then she simply got back to all fours and returned to her usual haughty expression.

"The manner in which something is said has a much greater effect than the words themselves. Body language, even in description, is more powerful than dialogue.”

Twilight returned to Trixie’s side with a cough, sparing a glance at the smug showmare from the corner of her eye. “Well, um... right. I think that covers everything...” Twilight levitated yet another long list to her and started scrolling her eyes down it while the crowd shifted restlessly on their hooves. “Ah, we still have purple prose!”

“Pff,” scoffed Trixie. “Trixie sees no challenge in that.” She trotted to the edge of the stage and began inspecting the gathered ponies. Generic fidgeted on his hooves expectantly. “You, the one with the unhealthy obsession with fashion... didn’t I turn your mane green? Bah, whatever. Come, Trixie orders you to help!” She gestured imperiously to a white, purple maned unicorn standing near Generic. The unicorn bristled, offended.

“Why, I’ve never heard such a disgraceful manner of addre-”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie does not wish to hear your whining. Will you get onstage or not?”

Twilight approached the edge of the stage and whispered to the unicorn. “You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, Rarity...”

“It’s fine, darling, I’ll play along with that ruffian’s little game.” With unparalleled grace the white unicorn stepped onto the stage and trotted to the centre. “Now, what is it you need me to do?” she asked.

Trixie pointed to the curtains at the side of the stage. “Describe those.”

“Pardon me, deary?”

“What, are you unable to describe a simple curtain?”

Rarity harrumphed as she luxuriously strutted to the side of the stage and picked at the curtain with her hoof, feeling it for a while before speaking. “It is coloured a beautiful deep blue hue, reminiscent of the deep ocean, vivid with the magnificent efflorescence of skilled couturiers. Every stitch is pristine, each interlaced delicately with the other, bringing the form of the fabric together with flawless intricacy. Dare I say it, the quality of this curtain is exquisite!”

Trixie smiled victoriously and turned to the crowd. “Purple prose. Or, the act of over-describing an object.” Rarity glared at her back.

“You.” Trixie pointed to a homely orange mare wearing a Stetson. “Describe those curtains.”

“Whelp... they’re, uh... blue?” said Trixie’s latest target, uncertainly edging her country drawl.

“Come on, a little more,” encouraged Trixie.

“They’re... nice?” The mare struggled on.

Trixie smiled and nodded, then addressed the crowd. “Well? Which did you prefer?” For a few moments the ponies just mumbled in discussion and, before they could reach a unanimous decision, Trixie spoke again. “Her, of course..” Everypony followed her pointing hoof to the confused-looking cowmare. “This other imbecile’s description was nothing but a waste of ink and, more importantly, Trixie’s time.”

Twilight quickly moved to Rarity’s side, holding the fuming unicorn back from pummeling Trixie. Suddenly, the enraged mare broke free, jumped forward and viciously stabbed Trixie in the back with the scissors that had appeared from thin air. Dropping the knife, she screamed in triumph. “Haha! I have defeated you, evil wench!”

Before the shocked crowd, Trixie exploded into a puff of confetti and streamers.

For a few moments the entire crowd stood stunned at the sight of the beaming Rarity and Trixie’s purple hat gently wafting to the stage. Before anypony could scream, there was another explosion and Trixie re-appeared onstage, fireworks and bolts of magic flying everywhere in a glorious display of showmareship.

A long silence stretched out across the crowd. Then everypony ran around in a total display of confusion and chaos. Generic chose to stay where he was, lest he get jostled around in the moving crowd. Perhaps the most confused was Twilight, who just sat staring at the two other mares onstage with an open mouth. Finally, the orange cowmare spoke. “What in tarnation just happened?!”

“That, fillies, was a demonstration of a plot hole. Something unexplained or contradictory that can lead to there being a gap in the plot or a missing piece in a series of events. It can easily confuse the viewer and distract them from events, or make them seem nonsensical. At this point, the Great and Powerful Trixie would like to thank her fabulous assistant Rarity! And remember, if you fail to avoid these plot holes your story will sink the the bottom of Lake Disappointment* faster then your pitiful mouth can say ‘Trixie is best pony.’” Rarity moved back to her position at the front of the crowd, bowing slightly before stepping off the stage.

“Wait, you were in on it?” asked a bewildered Twilight.

“Why, of course, darling! I am so sorry we couldn’t tell you, it would have ruined the surprise. You should have seen your face, though! Priceless!”

“Huh? I mean... wha?” spluttered the confounded Twilight.

“Twilight, the Great and Powerful Trixie demands to know when you’re going to end this boorish event. She requires sleep and the love and adoration of her many fans...” said Trixie, yawning into her hoof.

Twilight fumbled around the stage until she found her recently discarded list. “Um, we still have to cover... prose dialogue.”

“Prose dialogue?”

“Yes.”

“Really, such a boring subject.”

“I’m afraid so.”

“We’ve been dialoguing all day.”

“Well, you see, the ponies need to lear-... wait, who is talking?”

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Trixie was. Trixie thinks we have covered the talking head portion of dialogue; don’t stretch out a conversation without covering which character said what... a foal could do it, for Celestia’s sake. If you can’t manage it then you don’t deserve to own a quill. Is there anything else on your blasted list?” She sighed heavily.

Twilight looked over at her list, double-checking, then glanced at the town’s clock tower. “Um, no, we’re all done... but we finished two hours early! Maybe we cou-” She was cut off as Trixie stuffed her hoof in Twilight’s mouth.

“It is over, incompetent ponies. Go back home and stop writing like crud!” Trixie declared.

Twilight pulled Trixie’s hoof from her mouth. “But there are still five more days left to the seminar!”

Trixie turned to face her, a look of horror and exasperation upon her face. “You mean to say that the Great and Powerful Trixie will have to come back five more times!?”

“Well...yes!”

The curses Trixie uttered that day will forever remain engraved in the minds of anypony that stood within a dozen miles of that fateful stage.

As Generic prepared to leave the seminar grounds, his head aflutter with new ideas and tricks, he noticed the unicorn named Twilight rush out from behind the stage. Hovering behind her were a hammer, a box full of nails and a large poster covered in elegant scrollwork.

The mare stopped in front of one of the arches that formed the entrance to the field where the seminar was held. Lifting hammer, nail and scroll with her magic, she nailed it to the wooden arch. Stepping back, she smiled at her slightly crooked handiwork then ran off to take care of some other task.

Generic, curious, stepped over to the poster and read it.

“The purpose of this seminar is twofold.

One, we want to help writers write by giving them simple tips and council on the overall principles of good writing.

Two, we want to make it easy for people to enjoy themselves while learning.

We do not want to tell you how to write. Each individual writer has his or her own style that they must develop over time through trial and error. Pointing out one method of writing and calling it “the one” is the fastest way to kill creativity. And so, we strongly encourage you to take everything we say with a grain of salt and to disregard any and all rules at will. In other words, if you want to write, write.

We will do our utmost to aid you and to give you the tools that we have acquired from experience. None of us are professional, nor do we believe ourselves to be anything more than what we are: novices.

Hopefully you will find this guide seminar to be both entertaining and educational. We strongly encourage you to comment and ask any questions that may bother you, I am sure we will find the time to answer!
There are plenty of other great guides out there too. For example:

-The Editor’s Omnibus

or

-Cereal Velocity’s Pony Writing Guide

We encourage you to look at these as well. They offer great advice that we may not immediately cover and offer a different point of view on certain matters.

-SALT & Rav--- Twilight Sparkle and the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

Comments and questions will be answered within the story (unless the story itself will cover them at a later point), so ask away, mates!

List of authors that worked on this.

*We are in no way associated with Lake Disappointment or any of its subsidiaries. at all.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lake_Disappointment