Retirement Blues

By Alaborn

Standard disclaimer: This is a not for profit fan work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyright Hasbro, Inc. I make no claim to any copyrighted material mentioned herein.

Chapter 11: Nightmare Night

“Things going well for you, Mayor?” Gold Watch asked. He shifted uncomfortably in the chair opposite Mayor Mare. The mayor’s office was as cluttered as normal, but she looked a bit worried.

“As smooth as we could hope, Chief,” Mayor Mare replied. “We have enough funds to keep the town running until next year’s taxes are due. But I don’t think we could handle another disaster in town right about now.”

“Then I’m glad things are quiet. Even Red Sky has observed the Everfree being quieter than normal.”

“There is one thing. We’ve received notice of a royal visit at the end of the month, and we need the town to be ready,” Mayor Mare said.

“Is there some official notification for that? From what I’ve seen, Princess Celestia visits whenever she feels like it,” Gold Watch said.

“That’s just it. It’s not Princess Celestia. Princess Luna is coming to participate in this year’s Nightmare Night festivities.”

“Really?” Gold Watch hadn’t thought much about the returned lunar princess. Some of his fellow officers in Canterlot had mentioned something about night court, but other than that, Princess Luna kept a very low profile.

“Yes. And we need to be as welcome as possible. Word is Princess Luna is still uncomfortable in large groups. Princess Celestia hopes that this festival honoring her sister will help her open up.”

“Okay. I’ll spread the word through town. Fortunately, there isn’t anything else pressing.”

At that moment, the door to the mayor’s office burst open, and a panicking Twilight Sparkle ran in. In the distance, Lime Swirl mouthed “Sorry!” to the surprised mayor.

“Mayor! Chief! I have terrible news! There’s going to be a disaster in town. Soon!” Twilight Sparkle yelled.

“What? This is terrible! There is no way the town can handle this,” Mayor Mare said.

“Now wait, hold on, Mayor,” Gold Watch said. “Twilight Sparkle, what do you mean? What kind of disaster?”

“That’s just it! I don’t know! My future self came and warned me, but couldn’t tell me what it was in time,” she replied.

“Wait. Future self? Like time travel?” Gold Watch said.

“Yes, exactly! From the way she looked, something terrible happened.”

“When?” Mayor Mare asked.

“Next Tuesday! It’s terrible! We have to be prepared for anything!”

“Well then, it’s a good thing Ponyville created a new disaster-preparedness plan,” Gold Watch said, looking pointedly at the mayor.”

“Right,” Mayor Mare stated. “Chief Gold Watch insisted we update our plan after the Discord incident.”

Gold Watch bit his tongue; “update” wasn’t exactly the correct word for a plan that didn’t previously exist. He watched as the mayor pulled out a thin folder. She opened it, only to have Twilight Sparkle snatch the papers in her magical aura.

Twilight Sparkle rapidly read through the plan. “Okay. There’s not an immediate danger, so we don’t need to get ponies to safety, but I’ll keep the alert system in mind. Securing the town infrastructure we can do. And spreading the word to Cloudsdale and Canterlot. That’s right! The danger could be coming from anywhere!”

“You should also alert the other Elements of Harmony,” Gold Watch added.

“Of course! I’ll make sure they’re involved.” Twilight Sparkle ran out of the room, letting the papers fall to the floor. Gold Watch caught them just before they hit the ground.

“So what do you think, Chief? Are we really doomed?” Mayor Mare said.

“My gut tells me no. I’m having a hard time coming up with a disaster scenario that could happen in Ponyville by next Tuesday.”

“Well, I suppose the gate to Tartarus could open,” Mayor Mare noted.

Gold Watch facehoofed. “Oh, yeah. That. Remind me why there’s a gate to Tartarus in Ponyville?”

“It has to be somewhere, right?”

“Okay. I’ll make sure to patrol the gate on a continual basis. Meanwhile, I’m going to try to figure out what Twilight Sparkle saw, and then come up with a plan for the princess’s visit.”

“That’s right. We can’t forget about the princess!”

Colgate trotted through town on her lunch break, enjoying the fine fall weather and wonderful aromas coming from the restaurants around the center of town. She was so focused on the board listing the specials of one restaurant that she didn’t notice the mare crossing her path. Two ponies collided.

Fortunately, the only thing hurt was Colgate’s pride. “Sorry about that, Twinkleshine,” she said.

“That’s okay. As long as you don’t try to knock out a tooth so you can get more business!”

Colgate laughed. “I’m plenty busy enough. How about you? How’s the teaching?”

“Oh, the little ones are such a hoofful, but I love teaching them. Still, it’s nice to get away from the school for lunch on the days I don’t have lunch duty.”

“Same here. The office is just so sterile.”

They trotted away, and then both turned their heads at the sound of another collision. “Must be an epidemic,” Twinkleshine quipped.

The mare sprawled on the ground, Fluttershy, looked unhurt, though the contents of the bags she was carrying were scattered all around her. But Colgate’s attention was drawn to Twilight Sparkle, who jumped onto a post by the bridge.

“Listen, everypony! I’ve got something really important to say!” she announced. Unfortunately, nopony was taking her seriously, thanks to the silly party glasses that had somehow landed on her muzzle. Colgate remembered those glasses as Discord’s gift for Sharp Eye’s office.

“This is no laughing matter! We have a crisis on our hooves!” she continued, once she removed the ridiculous glasses.

That got everypony’s attention. Colgate and Twinkleshine leaned in closer.

“I’ve just been visited by myself from the future!”

Again, ponies laughed, but not Colgate. “I think she has the magical power to do it,” she observed. Twinkleshine nodded; they both knew her reputation from Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.

They ignored the panicking Pinkie Pie and listened as Twilight Sparkle outlined her plan. “What does disaster-proof Equestria mean?” Twinkleshine asked.

Colgate sighed. “I’m not sure what it means for the rest of Equestria, but for us, it probably means working together to make Ponyville safe.”

“Does that bother you?”

“No. I love the feeling of coming together. It’s just that it means a whole lot of rescheduled appointments after.”

“I never thought about that,” Twinkleshine said.

That evening, Colgate heard a knock on her door. She wasn’t expecting visitors, so she peeked out the curtains. It was a visitor she would always welcome.

Colgate smiled as she opened the door. “Hi, Dad,” she said. “What brings you around?”

“Work, actually,” he replied. “What do you know about time travel?”

“You know, Dad, normally I’d be asking if this was a joke, but I saw Twilight Sparkle today. Come, sit down. Care for something to drink?”

“Just water,” Gold Watch replied. He knew not to bother asking for coffee or tea, since his daughter never touched them, as both those beverages stained the teeth.

Colgate headed to the living room with two glasses of water, and passed one to her father. “So, time travel,” she said, getting comfortable on the couch. “At Celestia’s School, new students are told three spells never to try. Don’t raise the dead, don’t travel through time, and don’t animate the cleaning supplies.”

Gold Watch choked on his water. “Isn’t that third item a little different from the rest?” he asked.

“Sure, but it’s also the one foals will actually attempt. At least once a semester, some room on campus is flooded because somepony tried to take a shortcut on her cleaning duties.”

“So students are told not to do it. But is it possible?”

“It exists. Star Swirl the Bearded is said to have created the first spells, like pretty much every field of advanced magic. It begins with the magical framework of teleportation, and folds in cosmic magic, and so it requires such a level of magic that very few ponies could ever hope to attempt it.”

“I think it’s reasonable to assume that Twilight Sparkle is one of those few ponies. So how would it work?”

“Sheesh, Dad, you’re asking me to remember details from, like, one lecture in one class years ago!” Colgate complained.

“Just do your best. I can always try talking to one of your former classmates in town.”

“Okay. I remember that it’s not possible to go forward in time. Well, other than one minute in time. And time travel is only temporary. And it’s theorized that there’s some powerful magic, like the poorly understood principles underlying all matter and magic in the universe, that would prevent one from changing the past to alter the future.”

“So if Twilight Sparkle did travel back in time, it was all for nothing?”

“I have no idea. I was never able to get advanced magical theory. But you’re still going to stop any disaster, right?”

“Of course,” Gold Watch stated. “That’s my job.”

“How are things going?” Green Tea asked.

Gold Watch was taking a break from his increased patrols, stopping in his favorite shop. “It’s been busy, but I’m looking forward to this being over. Nightmare Night is coming up, and Princess Luna is visiting.”

“So I’ve heard. Do you have your costume picked out?”

“I intend to be in uniform,” Gold Watch stated.

“Well, that’s no fun,” Green Tea pouted. “Everypony dresses up. Even the mayor.”

“Nightmare Night is a time for foals to engage in mischief. And seeing a police officer encourages them to remember to keep it to mischief.” He paused. “So what’s your costume?”

“I go as green tea.”

“You go as yourself?”

“No, I wear a costume that resembles a tea bush. And I add some fresh tea leaves for that touch of authenticity.”

Gold Watch chuckled. “I can’t wait to see it.”

“And how goes the saving of Equestria?” Green Tea asked.

It was Monday morning, and reports from across Equestria had given the all clear. “I’m really wondering if the actual crisis was the breach in the gate to Tartarus.”

“I thought you said that was resolved,” Green Tea said. She offered Gold Watch a cup. “Tea? I’d offer you coffee, but as you can see, somepony bought all the coffee.”

“Twilight Sparkle,” Gold Watch guessed. He took the offered cup of tea. “As for the Tartarus incident, it was resolved, and rather easily. Cerberus escaping was a fluke, and the seal has been reinforced. But Twilight Sparkle is still convinced there will be a disaster by tomorrow morning.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I’m worried about her. I don’t think she’s slept in days.” He set down his cup. “But I’m not going to take any chances. Red Sky is patrolling overnight, and I’ll be rising before dawn to join him.”

“Then can you stop by this evening?” Green Tea asked.

“I’d love to,” he replied.

“Because if this is going to be our last night on Equestria, then let’s make it a memorable one.”

Colgate stepped out of office and locked up. Down the hall, Sharp Eye was doing the same. “What a day,” she said.

“I couldn’t agree more. I hate all this rescheduling. I had a full schedule of patients.”

“Me too. But it was nice working together to keep Ponyville safe,” Colgate said.

“Yeah. And I was glad to work alongside you,” Sharp Eye said.

“Yeah,” Colgate replied with a smile. “But I think we both learned never to work with mortar again.”

“But seriously, what is wrong with that dam? I thought it was just fixed,” Sharp Eye said.

“Maybe the magical repair wasn’t good enough. Or maybe some monster from the Everfree uses it as target practice,” Colgate said.

“Maybe. All I know is I ruined one brush trying to get the dried mortar out of my coat.”

Sharp Eye paused, and Colgate looked at him expectantly. “Yes?” she finally prodded.

“I, um, are you planning on going out on Nightmare Night?”

“Yes. And I’d love to share the evening with you,” Colgate said.

“Great. Thanks. I still need to work on a costume, though.”

“What did you have in mind?” Colgate asked.

“Some kind of golem. My glasses do resemble what the eyes of an artificial pony would look like. I just need to assemble something out of cardboard and paint it.”

“Let me help you,” Colgate said. “My own costume is done.”

“What are you going as?”

“I just wear my scrubs,” Colgate said.

“Isn’t that a little simple?” Sharp Eye said.

“Think about it. The night is all about little foals getting a fright. And what’s scarier than their dentist?”

Gold Watch whistled happily, despite it being hours before dawn. He walked through the quiet streets of Ponyville, illuminated only by the light of the nearly full moon. He noted that, for the first time in days, the library was dark. Maybe Twilight Sparkle had finally accepted that no disaster was going to befall Equestria.

He walked into the police station and started up the coffeemaker. If something did happen, he wasn’t going to face it without his vital elixir. The coffee was soon brewed, and he was pouring his first cup when Red Sky entered the building.

“Care for a cup of coffee, Lieutenant?” Gold Watch asked.

“Yes, please,” Red Sky said wearily. He took the offered mug in his hooves and sipped. “Thanks, Chief. You’re a lifesaver.”

“Just doing my job. Anything to report?”

“All clear.”

“Good. It looks like you need to go home and get some rest.”

“No way. I’m going to stick this out until dawn.” He looked out the window, into the night sky. “Are you sure the deadline is dawn, and not midnight?”

“Twilight Sparkle is sure. She’s told me dawn, specifically, on four different occasions, not to mention all the times she told the mayor about it.” Gold Watch sipped his coffee. “Right now, I’m more worried about her.”

“I know. She talked to me three times, something about monitoring everything, and she’s looked worse each time. Smelled worse, too.”

“So what do you think?” Gold Watch said. “Shall we greet the dawn?”

“Let’s go.”

Gold Watch and Red Sky walked a circuit through Ponyville. The faint light of false dawn came within the hour. Gold Watch honed his senses. He looked in all directions for something unusual. His ears swiveled to pick up stray sounds. His mental clock counted down the minutes until sunrise.

Gold Watch held his breath as the last seconds passed. The sky illuminated as Princess Celestia moved the sun just above the horizon, signaling the start of a new day. And nothing greeted Gold Watch and Red Sky but the chirping of birds.

“Guess we will live to see Nightmare Night,” Red Sky said.

“You participating in the festivities?”

“No, I’ll be training in Canterlot. Silver Shield will be here, which is good, because he can spend the evening with his sons.”

“He never mentioned anything about foals,” Gold Watch said. The guardspony normally kept to himself.

“One’s grown. Thunderlane. He’s on the weather team. Rumble’s school-aged. Thunderlane watches over him when Silver Shield’s out of town. Most of the time, it’s just the two of them.”

“Their mother?” Gold Watch said.

“He’s never told me the story. All I know is she left them eight years ago.”

“Ah.”

“But Silver Shield’s strong, and his foals are turning out well.”

The first signs of activity greeted Gold Watch and Red Sky, as the pegasi of the weather team worked to clear the stray clouds from the sky. “Ready to call it a night?” Gold Watch asked Red Sky.

“Night, day, whatever. I’m going off duty.”

The two ponies returned to the combination guard post and police station. Red Sky stored his armor and headed home. Gold Watch settled in with a second mug of coffee and a stack of paperwork, preparing for a normal day. After paperwork would come his morning patrol, followed by lunch. He would be back in the station by 1:00, in time to get the mail, which always came within a few minutes of 1:15. Then an afternoon patrol, visiting a different part of Ponyville. Finally, he would head home.

Home. Too often, he spent the evening home alone.

His thoughts were interrupted by the roar of the dragonfire font. Gold Watch jumped; a message sent by dragonfire was almost always an emergency. He unrolled the scroll and read.

Chief Gold Watch:

I am happy to report that there is no crisis coming to Equestria today, and even Twilight Sparkle, who came to Canterlot last night, has acknowledged it. She has come to learn a lesson about misunderstanding and misinterpreting magic. For now, she is confined to a room, with orders to get a good night’s sleep.

Please share the good news with Mayor Mare and the guards in town.

HRH Celestia, Diarch of Equestria

Gold Watch breathed a sigh of relief. He looked again at the scroll. “My first official correspondence from the princess!” he said to himself. “That’s going on the bulletin board.”

Colgate navigated a tree-lined street in an unfamiliar part of town. Checking the slip of paper with directions, she found her destination, a small home with a thatched roof. She walked to the door, raised a hoof, and knocked.

The sound of something falling and the sound of hooves preceded the opening of the door. “Hi, Colgate!” Sharp Eye said. “Come in!”

“Hi, Sharp Eye. Sorry I’m late. I needed to stop by the library,” Colgate said.

Colgate entered Sharp Eye’s home for the first time. Looking around, she found a utilitarian living space. There weren’t many adornments. A few pictures hung on the wall, of Sharp Eye and what were probably his parents. There was a bookshelf stuffed with books, a phonograph, and not much else of note. The living room was currently a mess, filled with empty cardboard boxes and various craft supplies.

“I’m still trying to figure out my costume,” Sharp Eye said.

“Looks like you have plenty of raw materials. Have you thought about what kind of golem you want to make?”

“Um, no.” He levitated over some rough sketches. “I focused on how to build it.”

“Stallions,” Colgate grumbled. She pondered her question. “What about the guardian from Daring Do and the Shrine of the Coatl? That statue was described as having diamond eyes.”

“Hey, that’s a good idea!” Sharp Eye said. “I think the book has an illustration of the guardian. He looked over to his bookshelf, and picked up his copy of book.

Colgate leaned in as Sharp Eye flipped through the pages with his magic. “There!” he said. Colgate looked closer, accidentally bumping Sharp Eye’s muzzle. She caught his eye, and they both inched back, blushing.

“Right. Ah, here.” Sharp Eye levitated the book closer to Colgate. The guardian illustrated had blocky stone limbs and a tail made of chains. But its most fearsome feature was its head. Blank diamond eyes, a mouth perpetually shaped into a leering visage, and a strange headdress marked the alien shrine guardian.

“I’m not sure how that’s going to look made out of boxes,” Sharp Eye said.

“Then it’s a good thing I picked this up from the library,” Colgate said. She lifted a book from her saddlebags.

“A book on foals’ crafts?”

“Well, this costume is an arts and crafts project. And since I doubt either of us have done anything like this in years, this should help.” She flipped through the book. “How about making the mask out of papier-mâché?”

“That could work. Um, what do we need?”

Colgate referred to the book. “Newspaper, water, flour. And some wire to make a frame for the mask.”

“I have that. I’ll go get the wire and the newspaper. Can you make the paste? Everything you need is in the kitchen.”

“Okay,” Colgate said.

Colgate headed into the kitchen. She found the flour in the pantry, which contained staples and little else. A large mixing bowl was found in a cupboard, and soon she was stirring up some paste.

She carried the bowl to the living room, where Sharp Eye was tearing strips of newspaper. “So you’re a Post reader?” she said.

“The Canterlot Post is my hometown newspaper. I never cared much for the Manehattan Times.”

“Neither do I,” Colgate said. “Too pretentious.”

Together, Sharp Eye and Colgate shaped a papier-mâché mask for him to wear, one designed to fit over his thick eyeglasses. When that was drying, they pieced together the body of the costume, and added papier-mâché adornments. Finally, they took the construction outside, and added silver paint.

“So what do you think?” Sharp Eye said.

“Let me preface this by saying my cutie mark has nothing to do with arts and crafts,” Colgate said.

“Do they even teach art in Celestia’s School?” Sharp Eye asked.

“There’s art and gym and music class, just like any school,” Colgate replied. “It just so happens that nopony’s any good at them.”

“Maybe we were a bit too ambitious.”

“Don’t worry about it. This is Nightmare Night. I’ve seen costumes ranging from a completely authentic chicken suit to one made out of five paper bags. Everypony is there to have fun, and make sure the little foals get their frights.

“And something sweet to bite?” Sharp Eye added.

Colgate sighed. “Yes, that too.” She looked at her coat, stained with paste and paint, and laughed. “I’m a total mess.”

“If you want, you could wash up before you leave,” Sharp Eye offered. “I have a spare bathroom.”

Colgate had been thinking of what reaction she would get walking home like this. But his offer made a lot more sense. “Sure. Thanks.”

“There are towels under the sink.”

Sharp Eye’s spare bathroom was small but spotless, probably because it didn’t get much use. Colgate felt relief as the hot water, and a little scrubbing with a washcloth, got the dried paste out of her coat. The paint proved a little harder to remove.

Colgate left the shower, finding Sharp Eye had also cleaned up. “See you tomorrow?” she said.

“Yeah. See you!”

“Any changes for the evening’s plans?” Gold Watch asked Mayor Mare.

“ I received the final details today. Princess Luna will arrive just after 8:00. A pegasus guard, out of uniform, will arrive about fifteen minutes early, and give us advance warning. He will then join in the crowd. At that point, I will call everypony’s attention, give my speech, and then Zecora the zebra will tell the tale of Nightmare Night. And right when she finishes, Princess Luna will make her grand entrance, carried on a carriage pulled by her Night Guard.

“It looks like matters are well in hoof,” Gold Watch said. “But I’m having a hard time taking you seriously right now.”

Mayor Mare brushed her rainbow wig and honked her clown nose. “You need to get in the spirit of Nightmare Night, Chief!”

“Happy Nightmare Night, Sharp Eye!” Colgate said. “How’s the costume fit?”

“Good, but it’s heavier than I thought it would be,” he replied, his voice muffled by the mask he wore.

“Let’s hit up some of the games before Princess Luna arrives,” she suggested.

They wandered over to the games, where Applejack, dressed as a scarecrow, called to them. “Well, howdy, Doctor Colgate. That you, Doctor Sharp Eye? You two seen that dastardly Doctor Frankenstein?”

“I haven’t seen anypony like that, Applejack,” Colgate said.

“Well, keep an eye out. Ah think he did somethin’ to mah sister!”

“I can’t wait to see her costume,” Colgate said.

“Now, how about bobbin’ for apples? Best apples in Equestria!”

“That sounds like fun,” Sharp Eye said. “Colgate, a little help?”

“Oh, sure.” She concentrated, and levitated Sharp Eye’s mask off him.

“The glasses too.”

“Right.” Colgate focused her telekinesis until she was holding both his mask and his glasses.

Fortunately for Sharp Eye, one didn’t need to see to bob for apples. He closed his eyes and dunked his head into the water. His muzzle bumped into an apple, which he trapped against the bottom of the bucket. He opened his mouth and bit down, feeling his teeth sink into the tasty treat. He lifted his head out of the water, flinging his head back to get his wet mane out of his eyes.

“Did you want a bite?”

Colgate blinked. She had managed to lose track of time. She couldn’t recall how long she was staring at Sharp Eye as he was eating his apple.

“Oh. No, that’s very sweet. I’ll try to get one myself.” She looked at the tub of water. “You know, Sharp Eye, you should wear your mane like that more often.” She smiled and dove into the water.

“I hope you’re going to enjoy the festivities,” Green Tea said to Gold Watch.

“I do hope there won’t be any problems. But I’m ready for a stakeout. I even have a place to hide.” He rustled the branches on Green Tea’s costume.

“Well, this bush isn’t going to stay out too late. I want to see the princess, but then I have some candy to pass out.”

“Then let’s enjoy the crowd.”

Gold Watch was surprised by how many ponies were dressed up for Nightmare Night. Twilight Sparkle’s was quite impressive, even if he couldn’t place after which historical figure her costume was modeled. It was amazing that the mare who had spent the better part of a week obsessing about some future danger still had the time to put together a costume.

“Good evening, Golden Harvest,” Gold Watch called. The farmer was wearing small red horns, a spaded tail, cloven hoofcaps, and a black cape, a simple Tartarus devil costume.

“Happy Nightmare Night, Gold Watch, Green Tea,” she replied.

“Are you here by yourself?”

“I’m primarily here to chaperone my kid sister and her friends.” She motioned to a filly, perhaps eight years old, with a similar coat color and paler orange mane.

Gold Watch looked between the filly and Golden Harvest. “Sister?”

“Half-sister, as you’ve probably guessed. Took Dad a while to move on, but I’m glad he did. And that gave me the sister I never had growing up.”

Golden Harvest’s sister trotted up, the big cloth bag in her mouth contrasting with her princess costume. “Goldie! Look at all the candy!”

“That’s good, Noi, but remember that you have to leave your share for Nightmare Moon!”

“I will, Goldie,” she said around the caramels she had stuffed into her mouth.

“And don’t eat too much candy!” She turned to Gold Watch. “Have a good evening.”

“You too,” Gold Watch replied.

Gold Watch and Green Tea trotted away. “I’m glad my daughter wasn’t here to witness that,” Gold Watch said.

“Oh, is she coming?”

Gold Watch looked over at the games, where she and Sharp Eye were standing, and smiled. “She is.”

He noticed Mayor Mare standing by the podium. She nodded to him and gave a signal. “The mayor’s about to speak. That means Princess Luna will soon be here,” he explained.

“Then let’s get ready.”

Mayor Mare’s speech was par for the course, made more ridiculous by her clown costume. Zecora was a captivating storyteller; the foals seemed particularly entranced by her rhythm and her special effects. But everypony was truly entranced by the arrival of Princess Luna.

Accompanied by thunder and rolling clouds, a black carriage descended from the night sky, pulled by two bat-winged members of the Night Guard. A cloaked figure jumped out of the carriage; lowering her hood, Princess Luna revealed herself. Gold Watch bowed, as did everypony else. But then he heard something he had never heard in the presence of Princess Celestia: whimpering.

“Citizens of Ponyville!” Princess Luna called, her magically amplified voice carrying across the town. “We have graced your tiny village with our presence, so that you might behold the real Princess of the Night! A creature of nightmares no longer, but instead a pony who desires your love and admiration! Together we shall change this dreadful celebration into a bright and glorious feast!”

All around Gold Watch, ponies somehow managed to back away, even while remaining prostrate.

“Did you hear that, everypony? Nightmare Moon says she’s gonna feast on us all!” Pinkie Pie said. She and a large group of foals ran.

Protocol demanded that Gold Watch not jump up and throttle Pinkie Pie. All this, after he had specifically told her to be welcoming of the princess!

“What? No, children, no! You no longer have reason to fear us! Screams of delight is what your princess desires, not screams of terror!” Princess Luna stomped her hoof. “Madame Mayor, thy Princess of the Night hath arrived.”

Unfortunately, the mayor had forgotten the memo, and cowered before the princess.

“What is the matter with you? Very well, then. Be that way. We won’t even bother with the traditional royal farewell.” Princess Luna stomped off.

“I’m going to go talk to her,” Twilight Sparkle announced.

“And I’m going to talk to the mayor,” Gold Watch told Green Tea.

“I’ll head home, then,” Green Tea said. “Please try to help everypony, Gold Watch.”

“That’s my job, ma’am.”

Gold Watch stomped up to Mayor Mare. “And just what happened to welcoming the princess?”

“I’m sorry! It’s just, I saw her, and I saw the nightmare, and I was scared!” Mayor Mare replied. “It’s hard to change what you’ve learned over the decades.”

Gold Watch scoffed. It really wasn’t much different from her reaction to Discord. He took a deep breath. The mayor wasn’t trained to deal with dangers like he was.

“Look, Mayor, I’m sorry I snapped,” Gold Watch started. “But you absolutely need to control your fears in this situation. Go back to your office and take a shot of whiskey from that bottle in your desk if you need to.”

Mayor Mare raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, I know about it. It’s obvious, if you know what to look for. But that’s not important right now. You need to find her, bow, and give her the welcome she deserves.”

“Okay,” the mayor said.

“Meanwhile, there’s somepony I need to find.”

Gold Watch searched around town. A pink pony in a white chicken suit, with an unnerving tendency to be around at any time, shouldn’t be that hard to find. After another circuit of the games area, he sat down.

“I’ve got something to celebrate,” he announced. “I sure could use a party.”

Still nothing.

“I was sure that would work,” Gold Watch muttered.

Gold Watch sensed a powerful aura. Ahead, Princess Luna approached the games, accompanied by Twilight Sparkle. He watched as she tried her hoof at the games, with some success. She looked happy. Princess Luna even plucked a young colt out of the tub of apples.

And then Pinkie Pie showed up.

“Hey, gals. Anypony seen Pip?” she asked. “We lost him the last time we had to run....” She squawked and screamed. “Aaah! Nightmare Moon is gobbling Pipsqueak! Everypony run!”

The fillies with Pinkie Pie screamed. The young colt didn’t help matters any, as he said “Help! My backside has been gobbled!”

“‘Tis a lie! Thy backside is whole and ungobbled, thou ungrateful whelp!” Princess Luna stomped her hoof, in time to the sound of thunder from the sky. “Fair villagers, please do not back away. Let us join together in... fun!”

Gold Watch hoped that Princess Luna would succeed. Meanwhile, he had a job to do. He walked up to Pinkie Pie. “Excuse me. Miss Pinkie Pie?”

“What’s up, Chiefarooni? Need help with that party?”

“Wait, what? No, Pinkie Pie, there’s no party. I need to have a word with you.”

“Is that word verisimilitude?”

It took decades of police training for Gold Watch not to facehoof. “Pinkie Pie, why do you keep doing things that frighten ponies?”

“Because it’s Nightmare Night! The one night where it’s fun to be afraid!”

“Pinkie Pie, I’m not sure Princess Luna understands that.”

“Of course she does! She’s Nightmare Moon! Who else would understand Nightmare Night better?”

“Look, Nightmare Moon or no, she hasn’t seen a Nightmare Night festival before. My gut tells me she’s confused. What does your Pinkie Sense tell you?”

“That we both need to jump,” Pinkie Pie replied.

Gold Watch jumped, just as a swarm of angry spiders swarmed under him.

“Look, please think about what I said,” Gold Watch said. “I need to make sure nopony is hurt.”

Sitting on a bench away from the immediate commotion, two ponies sat and observed the Nightmare Night festivities falling apart. Once Princess Luna stormed off after decreeing that Nightmare Night would be canceled forever, Sharp Eye turned to Colgate. “Is Nightmare Night normally this eventful?” he asked. He fidgeted, holding his mask in his hooves.

“Normally it’s like any other event. Food, games, friends. This has been a unique Nightmare Night,” Colgate replied. She was still in her scrubs, but had stowed away her mask and head mirror.

“So you really think I look good with the wet mane look?”

“I don’t know. Let’s try it.” Colgate leaned in and used her hoof to style Sharp Eye’s mane in the way it looked when wet. She then smiled and leaned in for a kiss.

Sharp Eye was caught off guard, but soon returned the kiss. He was not surprised to find Colgate’s mouth to be minty fresh.

“I’m thinking it’s about time I had a coltfriend,” Colgate said.

“Great. Who is he?” Sharp Eye said.

Colgate bopped his muzzle. “So you think you’re funny?”

“I try. But I need practice. And there’s something else I need practice with.” And with that, he leaned in for another kiss.

Colgate gasped for breath as the second kiss ended. “You learn fast.”

“So, um....”

“I had fun tonight. Let’s get together sometime next week. Maybe when everypony else is distracted by the Running of the Leaves.”

“Okay,” Sharp Eye said. He hugged Colgate. “See you at the office.”

Sharp Eye donned his mask and walked away. Colgate enjoyed the too short solitude. Finally, she called out. “I know you’re watching, Dad.”

Gold Watch stepped out of the shadows, a huge grin on his face. “Enjoying the evening, Colgate?”

“I’ll give you thirty seconds to say I told you so.”

“A good detective always trusts his gut. And my gut told me you’d be good for each other,” Gold Watch said. “But I want to hear about it in your own words.”

“First I saw the similar backgrounds. Then I found out about some shared interests. But there was always some awkwardness. But then I spent time with him, and being together felt more and more natural.”

“I’m proud of you. You’re part way there, Colgate. But tell me, does it feel like the right thing?”

“I have plenty of time to figure that out, Dad,” Colgate said. “And I’m proud of you, too.”

“For what?”

“You spent all this time around those foals without obsessing about the missing foal.”

“Believe me, Colgate, I looked at each of them to see if they matched the age, mane color, and coat color of the foalnapped infant. One does not forget a case like that.” He sighed. “But I guess I am getting used to seeing them as ponies now.”

“Think you’re ready for the schools to tour your police station?”

“I think I am.”

A lot of things were figured out that night. Princess Luna listened to the ponies who rescued her the previous summer, and to the foals who loved Nightmare Night more than anypony. Colgate listened to hear heart.

And Gold Watch?

Alone in his house, he thought about how he didn’t have as much time as his daughter. He thought about how much cozier Green Tea’s home was.

As the ponies of Ponyville got ready to change the season, Gold Watch decided he needed a change of his own.

Author's Notes:

In It's About Time, Twilight Sparkle frets about not having time in her schedule to plan her next schedule. Yet she's perfectly able to drop everything once her future self shows up. Talk about a nightmare for rescheduling!