Dear Lightning Dust

You are an arrogant wad of expired butch cheese. I mean really, as if we didn't have enough reason to doubt Rainbow Dash's sexuality, you had to come along and have a fling with her? I don't know if you're still trying to tap that plot, but in case you are Lightning Fart, cut it out; I've been trying to convert Fluttershy for five minutes now, and Rainbow is a vital part of that plan. You can always try to hook up with her old ex, Gilda; that bird has a lot of pent up frustration and I think you two would be good for each other.

Yours sincerely, Discord