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Sparkle's No. 1 Assistant

by Wanderer D

Chapter 18: Loyalty Mission 5: Derpy's Quest Pt. 1

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Sparkle's No. 1 Assistant

Loyalty Mission 5: Derpy's Quest Pt. 1

By Wanderer D

"Okay class," Miss Cheerilee called out, drowning the noise from the colts and fillies and recalling their attention to the front of the room.

"As you all know, every few months, we invite a pony to talk to class about their talents, their jobs, experiences and what makes them special. Today we have a very special guest," Cheerilee said and her smile seemed a bit strained. "I'm not entirely sure how the invitation was sent… so early… but, she has agreed make time in her very busy schedule to come talk to us all. Please welcome, Commander Twilight Sparkle."

The colts and fillies clapped politely as their guest stepped into the room, then stopped and stared.

"Hello!" Twilight said, waving her hoof amiably as she took her place in front of the class. "My, this brings back a lot of memories! You know, my classroom was a bit bigger, but there is something to be said about how nice it feels in a class like this." She chuckled and shook her head. "Anyway, my name is Commander Twilight Sparkle, and I am here to talk about technology, finding your true calling, achieving rank and defending the world from invaders."

"W-well," Cheerilee gulped. "Most of the colts and fillies here don't read the newspaper, but… let's ask the class some questions first, shall we and let those that know a little about you start the conversation. Would that be okay?"

Twilight nodded, smiling amiably. "Sure."

"Okay class," Cheerilee spoke up. "Who here knows anything about Commander Sparkle?"

Predictably Sweetie Belle's hoof shot up, followed not a millisecond later by Scootaloo. Apple Bloom also raised her hoof, and most surprisingly…

"Snails? Dinky? Huh." Cheerilee looked around, but none of the other colts and fillies seemed to know much about Twilight.

"Bah," a voice emanated from the class, and Cheerilee's eyes snapped to the source of potential disaster.

"Oh no. Diamond Tiara." she whispered in horror.

"I don't know why everypony is so excited," Diamond Tiara said, ignoring Cheerilee's frantic waves. "She's the librarian! She lives in a library with a dragon and dresses in strange clothes. Why should we—"

"Let's see," Twilight spoke up, interrupted and raised her hoof.

"Please don't destroy the school!"

Twilight blinked at Cheerilee and shrugged, turning to look back at Diamond Tiara. "As I was saying," she continued drawing 'oohs' and 'aahs' as her omni-tool materialized around her hoof.

"That's right!" Diamond Tiara said. "And don't try to impress me with that gadget. I bet my daddy could buy ten of them if he really wanted to!"

"Your name is Diamond Tiara… and you're the daughter of one Filthy Rich and one Spoiled Rich. One is a small-town businesspony that has cornered the admittedly unchallenged market of Ponyville, the other is a classless social climber that has an intense dislike for those she sees as 'underneath' her despite the fact that she was raised in a less-than-wealthy home herself. Hm."

Twilight smiled at Diamond Tiara.

Cheerilee took a couple of steps back.

Twilight shook her head. "Let me give you some advice, kid. One: Talk to your dad more than to your mom. He's the better example."

When Diamond Tiara opened her mouth to argue, Twilight spoke again, "Two: Do the math. I was born in Canterlot. I attended and graduated from Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns with the highest marks in a generation. Celestia herself is my mentor. She assigned the tree you call a library as my living quarters, not as my job. I defeated Nightmare Moon because I was simply asked to do so. And I will continue to do so with every threat that comes to Equestria. I am commissioned by Celestia's Court." She tilted her head. "That means I only answer to Princess Celestia." She leveled a gaze onto the filly. "Does that sound like 'just a librarian' to you?"

Diamond Tiara shook her head meekly.

"Good. Anyway, anypony have a question that might not end in substantial destruction of school property?" Cheerilee asked quickly.

"Yeah!" The lanky unicorn colt said, turning to look at Twilight. "Um, Commander Sparkle, I read an article that when you took down the Royal Guard you used griffon tactics to take on the pegasi?"

Scootaloo turned back to look at her with a wide grin and fluttering wings.

"Ah," Twilight smiled. "That's not exactly right, that was just Rainbow Dash using her knowledge of Griffin warfare and some coaching from Wrex in Krogan dropship tactics."

Twilight levitated a piece of chalk and quickly drew a diagram of the castle battle, with the several pegasi flying in formation around it.

"You see, a regular griffon tactic would have been to dive into the first pegasi and rip their wings off, therefore drawing the attention of the others so that when they converged, they'd be easy prey for other griffons in the area."

"The issue—well, the idea, in any case, is to bring glory to that first attacker by allowing her or him to kill as many of the enemy as possible before the others arrive."

The chalk flew and drew an illustration of the mentioned tactic.

"However, Wrex's approach is more efficient, since at the time we only had one pegasus and we didn't want to lose her in a bloodbath. Instead of taking one or two opponents, Rainbow Dash dived through, getting their attention."

The tactic was once again illustrated on the board with chalk.

"She led them all into following her, then used her superior speed and skill to herd them together close enough that firing a sticking, lightning-powered explosive device onto one of them would take care of the whole lot of them at the same time with no loss to our forces."

Cheerilee cleared her throat. "I'm not sure we should share this kind of anecdotes with—"

"Miss Sparkle?" Apple Bloom called from the back of the class. "Is it true that you took down a criminal syndicate?"

"Commander. And I can't either confirm nor deny that claim," Twilight said, nodding.

"But you jus—" Cheerilee started to say, but was interrupted by another voice.

"Commander? Why does my sister have a firing range behind her boutique?"

"Because practice makes perfect." Twilight said to Sweetie Belle. "And remember, a shot in time saves nine."

"I'm not entirely sure that's how that one goes…" Sweetie answered, giving Twilight a doubtful look.

"Have you ever had to fight multiple opponents, giant beasts, spies, soldiers, alien creatures or omnipotent beings?" Twilight asked patiently.

"Um… no?"

"Then remember in case you ever do: a shot in time saves nine." Twilight repeated. She then looked across the room. "Dinky, what's your question?"

"Why doesn't my mom join your team full time, like Miss Rarity and Miss Rainbow Dash?"

Twilight sighed. "That's a good question, Dinky. If I ever find out, I'll let you know."

Cheerilee stepped up next to Twilight. "Alright everypony, why don't we ask Twilight questions about the government and how things are in Canterlot or what Princess Celestia is really like?"

Twilight smiled and listened to the colts and fillies, answering their questions briefly and honestly, but in the back of her mind, Dinky's question echoed.

Why didn't Derpy just join them full time?

Derpy Hooves flew the last delivery and dropped it at the doorstep of Roseluck's flower shop. Just in time too for her to go pick up Dinky from her music lessons. After her last mission with Twilight, Smart Mat had been very insistent on getting her back into the EPS and away from all that nonsense.

Derpy frowned, gaining lift as she glided towards Alto Flute's home. Although she wasn't fond of the gusto Twilight had for violent solutions, the Commander did get the job done. And while Smart Mat was certainly entitled to her opinion, it seemed more based off of the noble-founded 'newspapers' rather than actual knowledge of the subject. It was well known that Twilight was not a favorite of the noble class; her utter and public disdain of them, as well as what had happened with Blueblood was perfect fuel for them to feel a threat to their status… not to mention Wrex's questionable status as a citizen, and yet not only having a nice paying job, but also the attention, respect—and some whispered (while she already knew for a fact) affection—of Princess Celestia herself.

While they had expected some support from Princess Luna, taking her removal from society as a sure sign of her unequivocal conservatism—

Derpy's thoughts were derailed when she had to dodge another pegasus.

"Watch where you're going!" the pegasus snapped, doing a sweep and hovering in front of her. "Can't you keep one of your eyes where you're going?!"

"Sorry mister," Derpy said, invisibly struggling to not lash out verbally. "But if you'll notice, the updraft being southwards, I did have the right of wa—"

"Bah, I don't care about that. Didn't you see I was flying here?"

"Sir, the fact is—"

"'The fact is'," the pegasus mimicked. "You and your facts can go to Tartarus. Just keep an eye out instead of trying and failing to argue a point."

In her mind Derpy did a quick cool-down count, while analyzing the other pegasus. Simple speech, little knowledge outside his bubble of confidence, unapologetic attitude for something that was clearly his mistake, unable and unwilling to communicate… not worth her time.

"I will pay more attention, sir. Have a nice evening." She flew around the pegasus, ignoring his words. The day was almost done. All she needed was to pick up Dinky, walk home together and have dinner.

That was when she saw something unusual. From the edge of the Everfree, something metallic and square-like rose, gathered speed very fast and shot into the sky, far beyond where she could see.

A deep sense of foreboding filled her and she accelerated as much as she could. Alto's home wasn't as close to the Everfree as Fluttershy's but… it was roughly in the same direction where that thing had taken off from.

"I'm telling you Sparkle, that is impossible. There is no way that could happen."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Wrex, my scanners might not be made with Eezo, but my magi-tech is as reliable as anything you've shown me so far, and I'm telling you that I detected a Mass Effect field just a few minutes ago."

Wrex shook his head and chuckled. "Maybe it was another rainbow, Sparkle. I checked. There are no relays in this little corner of the universe. And if there were… let's just say Equestria would be a far different world than it is today."

Twilight was about to reply when the door to the library was kicked in and a frantic Derpy flew in. "Twilight! I need your help! Dinky has been foalnapped!" she shouted, tears welling in her eyes.

Twilight didn't even blink. In a second she had already called up her omni-tool and summoned the others. "Wrex, get the guns. Somepony just made a really big mistake."

Wrex didn't laugh as he trotted towards his stash, but his smile would have given anyone seeing it nightmares.

Elsewhere, a lone figure turned her head to the sky and narrowed her eyes.

Author's Notes:

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Next Chapter: Loyalty Mission 5: Derpy's Quest Pt. 2 Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 54 Minutes
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