[Sunday Afternoon]

[Cyan’s POV]

I couldn’t even describe how happy I was when Lumina and I left the theatre. I think it could be written all over my face as I couldn’t help but just smiled stupidly as I recalled what transpired over the last few hours of the day.

Okay, let’s review what just happened so far:

First, Lumina confesses the real reason why she resigned from the academy. I don’t know why I had a tinge of jealousy from how she described her time with this stallion, but I can’t get mad at her for something that happened in the past before we met. I’m sure she had seen other stallions, possibly mares too (I’ll have to ask about that later), before she met me, and again, I can’t really get mad or compete with something that happened in the past.

Second, Lumina told me why she’s been so… Open about herself since we started travelling together, and laid some things for me to understand about us so I wouldn’t get any ideas… Besides what happened later after that.

Third, even when I told her I was Cyan Dusknight, me being the son of the Commander of Squad 13 in the Royal Guard, and how I could be seen as a possible threat to the peace in ponykind, she pretty much just said ‘Fuck that,’ flipped the bird on the entirety of the Royal Guard, perhaps even Princess Celestia herself if she stands with them on what’s ‘right,’ and bucked them in the balls. She even said she’ll be by my side, protecting me from those who would say otherwise, and how I actually mean something to her even under the short time we had spent together. I couldn’t help but broke down crying after that. I honestly thought I’d have to look out for myself when I left Canterlot, and there was no way anyone would associate with me for my magic; however, even after I showed Lumina my magic, and told her the truth about my identity after that, she still accepted me for who I am. Not for my magic, or where I came from, but my entire being. I felt everything that was weighing on my shoulders at that point just disappeared, and was replaced with Lumina’s warm, angelic embrace, and I couldn’t be happier. It’s why I had to give making her new scrunchy a shot, and even though it was my first time trying, I just somehow knew I was going to do it, and there it was.

And after that comes the fourth big thing that happened: the kiss. My very first one at that, and I only have five words to describe it: ‘Sweet Fucking Mother Of Celestia.’ I may still need some practice, but Goddamn was that an experience, especially with her breasts pressing against me, and she didn’t even care about the boner in my pants between us. She almost seemed to welcome that unintentional gesture. She may still have some things to work out in her mind, probably me too, but I’m too distracted by the euphoric experience that just happened in the theatre. I should probably ask her where we stand right now, even though she said what happened back there wouldn’t change anything between us. From what she had mentioned about us, it doesn’t sound like we’re coltfriend and marefriend. Is this where ‘friends with benefits’ I’ve heard about come to play? That’s only with sex though right? I think we might be going too fast with that, but this just brings up the question I asked Shadina last night: where’s the boundary line that things will get serious between us? But even after that kiss, I STILL don’t think I’ll ever have a chance with her, but how could I resist? I still have to think about my feelings for Roxxie and Teala of course, if they’re still willing to be friends with me after what happened when I left. Like I mentioned in the letters, I’ll always love having them being a part of my life, but a part of me does still want to see them again. Maybe in the future, I don’t know, but it’s too soon for me to think about going back to Canterlot right now.

Being distracted in my thoughts, I didn’t watch where I was going until…

CLANG!

I walked right into a fucking lamp post before I fell back on the ground. I groaned from the pain that was stinging in my forehead under the horn before a voice snapped me out of it.

“Cyan? Are you okay?” Lumina asked as she was squatting beside me on the ground.

“Yeah… I’m fine,” I groaned. “I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

“It definitely looked like it,” she confirmed. “You still had that cute, yet goofy grin on your face after we left the theatre before you hit that lamp post. I don’t think you even heard what I was saying earlier either.”

… Crap, I’m already becoming the bad coltfriend that doesn’t listen to their special somepony talking, and we aren’t even IN that kind of relationship.

“I’m sorry, you’ll have to repeat that,” I groaned as Lumina helped me up. “I guess that kiss must have hit me harder than I thought. Maybe harder than the lamp post,” I joked before Lumina giggled at that.

“It’s okay, it’s nice to know that I did a fine job for your first kiss,” she beamed. I stood there wide eyed at the comment.

“H-how did you know?” I stuttered before she interrupted.

“Your kissing kind of said it all, but don’t worry, you’ll get better with practice, and there’ll be PLENTY more coming your way before you become an expert,” she assured with a wink while I just blushed and nodded in agreement in response.

Dammit Cyan. You just told her earlier you were going to start finding ways to get back at her for her teases. I need to figure out how to do that. Not to mention, THAT won’t be the only kiss we’ll have? Now I REALLY need to know what’s going on between us.

“So what were you saying while I was still dumbstruck earlier?” I asked.

“I was saying that we should find the library Nil wants us to meet him in so that we’ll know where to go when he comes around,” Lumina explained. “After that, I was thinking we could find some books to check out and read before we head back to get ready for work tonight.”

“Sounds good to me. Do you know where the library is?” I asked.

“Actually, it’s right over there,” she stated before she points to the direction of the library that was a few blocks down. I stood there surprised how quickly we got here. “I’ve been meaning to tell you before you got hit by that lamp post.”

“How long was I out before the hit?” I asked.

Lumina looked around for the nearest clock to check the time. “About six minutes,” she rounded.

Holy Crap, I was out THAT long?! My head wasn’t high up in the clouds, it was high to the freakin’ reaches of space!

“How did I not even stray off path?!” I exclaimed.

“I held your hand while I led the way, like what we’re doing right now,” she answered with a smile.

“Wait… wha?” I asked before I looked down, and indeed, her hand was grabbing mine, palm to palm.

… Six minutes… Six FUCKING minutes I was out, and I didn’t even notice her hand was holding mine. I REALLY need to learn to keep my head on my shoulders.

“I-I’m sorry, I wasn’t sure if you even wanted to hold hands despite my trance earlier,” I apologized while looking down, blushing.

Lumina just giggled at my shame. “Don’t sweat it, you’re still new to this, and I wanted to do it anyway,” she admitted. “Besides, that look of yours was just so cute, why would I even TRY to snap you out of it?” She asked. I just stood there looking down still blushing.

“Th-thanks, I guess,” I stuttered.

“Come on lover colt, let’s take a look around inside,” Lumina declared before she pulled me with her towards the library.

I should probably ask her where we stand while we browse. It certainly would be a conversation starter. Plus… This may be a good time to find some books with neat new spells to learn.

After we browsed a little through the library’s selection, we sat in a table across from each other that was far in the back while we read the books we found. I realized then that though I want to talk to her, I can’t right now considering we’re in a library of all places. I found a spell book that I could give a quick skim to see if there’s any new mid-level spells I could try, while Lumina was reading… The Poni Sutra… According to the cover.

Huh, I’ve never heard of that book, and it sounds foreign. I wonder what it’s about?

I wanted to read a new spell in my book, but I was too distracted and eager to ask Lumina about us. I looked around the area to see if there’s something I could use as an alternative for communication, and I found some index cards and pencils in a tray to record what ID numbers on the books are to find. I levitated a pencil and a few slips of paper to our table, and I started writing something on the first line.

Hey Lumina, can I ask you something? I wrote before I slid the card and pencil over to Lumina. She read it, wrote her reply, and slid it back to me before she got back to her book.

Sure Cyan. What’s up? She responded.

Huh, even her handwriting’s kind of cute.

I wrote down my next entry before I slid it back.

I know we’re not coltfriend and marefriend, and you still need to think about what you want in a serious relationship, but where exactly do we stand after that kiss and holding hands earlier? What would we do that would change, well, everything about us?

She took a moment to read, and thought hard for a moment before she wrote her response and slid it back.

What are you comfortable with between us so far?

What am I comfortable with? Could she mean the gestures she displayed at this point?

I thought hard on what I was okay with for now, what I’m not okay with, and what I’m not sure about before I wrote my next entry and slid it to her.

I’m okay with the teases, hugs, kisses, both mouth to mouth, and places on head, and the snuggling was nice. Sex is DEFINITELY out of the question, and though I heard the term “friends with benefits” before, I can’t help but think that would make things more confusing between us. I’m not sure with everything else in between though, and there may be some I may not even know about. What about you? What are you okay with?

Lumina read the next entry, and she thought hard about what she might be okay with before she wrote her answer. She wrote it on the other side of the paper for writing space and passed it to me.

I agree that sex is definitely out, and I also like and enjoy the same things you listed, and would be more than happy to share some more over time if you’d like. Honestly, I can’t really say where we draw the line that things would get serious between us. It’s been a couple years since my last relationship, and I’ve been through quite a bit before that where I’ve just been really open about myself until around my sophomore year in high school. You’re definitely one of the better colts I’ve come across, and I feel I can trust you, so if I had to draw a line somewhere… I think you can probably guess where I’m okay you can touch, but I think you seeing me in my bra and panties is as far as I can go. You okay with that?

My eyes shot open like saucers, and I could have sworn steam was blowing out of my ears from how hot my head was as I read the end of the card.

B-b-bra and panties?! She’s THAT comfortable with me?! How many ponies has she SEEN before today?! How can she be alright with me t-t-touching her breasts?! Where else is she allowing me to touch?! Wait, GAH! Don’t go THAT far into thinking about it! I need to bring this out straight to her before I explode from blood overflow!

I quickly took a new index card and wrote down my thoughts as fast as I could before I passed it to Lumina.

First of all, I respect you WAY too much to take advantage of that much ground. Unintentionally touching each other through snuggling is one thing, but there’s NO way I’d grab your breasts. Not that I think they aren’t great or anything, they look fantastic, but I just can’t bring myself to even GO that far. Second, BRA AND PANTIES?! SERIOUSLY?! You might as well do a strip show and I’ll just walk around in my underwear while throwing bits onstage! How can you be that flexible with yourself?! Am I REALLY that worthy to be around that kind of privacy?!

I had to bring my head down between my arms to try to calm myself down and not think about the strip show I just suggested to Lumina. Why I brought that and me being my underwear up is beyond my understanding, perhaps I was too wound up to reflect what I was writing, but it just sounded right to write at the time. After a few moments, I heard some quiet giggles across from me before there were sounds of writing, and I felt the card slid under my arm. I sat up with my face still warm, but not as much as before while I read.

You’re such a sweet stallion, you know that? And I say stallion because that’s just how mature I see you right now. Anyway, even though I’m a bisexual (thought I should put that out there), I just feel more comfortable around guys than girls. You seem like a kind and smart enough guy who won’t step into anything intentionally that could hurt anyone. I think as long as you don’t touch between my legs, horn, and ears (the last two are sensitive), I’m pretty much okay with everywhere else. And now that you brought it up, I probably won’t mind if you slept in just your underwear too. I’d kind of like to see that myself one day.

There was even a wink and a heart doodled near the end of the card signifying her teasing nature that I prayed to Celestia that was the case with the last statement. I sweated buckets and my eyes twitched when I got to the end as I felt I was going to have a mental breakdown of my inner conflict between my conscience and my teenage colt hormones. I couldn’t write a proper sentence as I wrote a new message on a new card as fast I could before I passed it to her, got up and left briskly.

Bathroom. Cool off. Leave library afterwards.

After fifteen minutes of releasing my tensions, and splashing my face with cold water in the bathroom (getting to the bathroom was embarrassing enough with what was going on in my pants, not to mention trying not to make any noises while ‘releasing’ those tensions), I got back to the table we were in. We threw away the used index cards, grabbed our books, and checked them out before we left the library. I was looking down not facing Lumina the whole time after reading all of that. Even after I got it out of my system, I was still uncomfortable/embarrassed to see Lumina the same way I was before. I was feeling all tense on my shoulders before something touched one side.

“Hey Cyan-”

“GAH!” I screamed as I jumped back from the opposite direction I was touched. Lumina and I stared at each other with wide eyes before I tried to take a breath to calm myself down. “Sorry Lumina, I’m kind of feeling tense right now.”

“It’s fine,” Lumina assured with a wave. “I didn’t think you’d be so worked up over that. I’d think most guys would probably jump and cheer with joy for having that luxury. How come you’re uncomfortable with it?”

“… I guess it’s because of how I was raised before I left,” I said. “Mom and Dad would tell me to treat ponies with respect and kindness unless they don’t do that in return, always work hard in school, get good grades, keep my room clean and organized, be a good colt, and remember where I stand when it comes to authority and seniority. I’ve made a few mistakes that got them on their scary sides that made me, well, afraid to do ANYTHING that would get them or ANYONE mad at me. I just had all of these high expectations looming around me that I guess are still following me to this day after running away from home.”

The two of us stood there in silence despite the activity that went on in the streets as I looked down while recalling all the times I did something wrong unintentionally. I was pulled into a hug while off guard that somehow made all the anxiety I had slowly melt away.

“Cyan, I may not know what your mom and dad were trying to accomplish, but I don’t think parents forcing their kids to be good through means like that is considered healthy,” Lumina said before she broke the hug and squat down to my eye level. “While we do need to be respectful of other ponies in public throughout the day, and help support each other however we can, I want us to be relaxed with one another while we’re by ourselves. I meant what I wrote back there BECAUSE I feel comfortable enough to be like that around you, and I want you be like that with me as well, but I’ll step back if it’s too much for you.

“Plus, look around you! You’re in a whole new city. We’ll be travelling to other unexplored cities, and you won’t have your parents looming over your shoulders. Living on our own is definitely a huge step, especially for someone your age, but I’m going to be there for you to help you out while we make the fun out of what we can get in our travels. I’ll even help you loosen up a little while we’re at it. I gotta ask though, was there ever something you did back then that you felt you just HAD to do, and it felt good doing it despite getting punished afterwards?”

I had to think back to one of those times that I actually FELT that way, but there was only one thing that jumped to mind. “Well the only thing I could think of was when Roxxie, Teala and I snuck out of the Grand Galloping Gala one night when we were still in our elementary school days.”

“The Grand Galloping Gala?” Lumina asked with a raised eyebrow. “Isn’t that like the highest esteemed event throughout Equestria?”

“More like the biggest BOREFEST throughout Equestria,” I said while making a gagging gesture. “I mean I’m a fan of good music, and what they had there was nice, and saying hello to the princess was a good treat as well. I even got to dance with both of my friends through at least one song each. The food though? Not only BLECK, but just complicated as fuck. Not to mention all the ponies there only attended to brown nose each other to get associated with good business deals, or all that adult junk. It was cool seeing the Wonderbolts, but like all the others, they only came to get sponsors for their flight team.

“I got in because of my parents being associated with the guard, Teala and her family run the cloud making machine building and maintenance business which puts them in the noble class enough to get invited, and Roxxie and her mom got invited out of sheer luck, and the latter went to showcase more of her tailoring and fashion designing business.”

“Aaah, so THAT explains your friends’ styles of clothing in that picture I saw,” Lumina pointed out as we started heading back to the pub. “So what happened when you and your friends got sick of it?”

“Well with Roxxie being more of the troublemaker out of the three of us," I continued. "She suggested that we sneak out of the gala through the gardens, and go to a hayburger joint to get some REAL food, and not worry about all the upper class pressure. Teala and I agreed at the drop of a hat, and we snuck out of there while all of our parents weren’t looking. I swear, the cheesehayburger, fries, and shake tasted the best thing ever that night, and though we got grounded from seeing each other besides in school for a week, it was TOTALLY worth it,” I finished before I sighed in content as I recalled that night. Not only what we did back then seemed fun, but I think we acted like kids we should have. Not to mention remembering the dresses they were wearing were kind of cute on them. My train of thought was suddenly interrupted by my stomach growling. “Huh, I guess talking about food has gotten me hungry.”

“Why don’t we see if we can find some good hayburgers ourselves for lunch before we head back?” Lumina suggested.

“I’m down with that,” I said as we walked down the street to find a restaurant that served such food. I didn’t notice that the two of us were holding hands again like we did before, and though I knew she’s not bringing any wrong messages, I just went along and took in the comforting feeling it brought.

I gotta admit, Lumina has some strange ways of showing she’s comfortable being around friends. Even though she said it’s okay, I’m still gonna look the other way when something like that happens. I could either do that, or just try to tolerate it and get used to it. Actually, I may have to if I want to gain immunity to her teases. Not to mention trying to act cool and natural when she talks about that kind of stuff. Well if I want to get used to it, I better get started on it.

“Soooo… You’re a bisexual?”

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