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Puny Purple Pony

by The Conflicted Writer

Chapter 1: Puny and Purple


This was it. The accumulation of several weeks of study, preparation, sweat, more study, a little more sweat, and several of those energy drinks Dash raved about. Everything was in place for the first test of Twilight’s own interdimensional portal. Not once since starting on her creation had she taken a break, and the results of her labor were evident. Scattered, rumpled scrolls littered the ground, diagram upon diagram stuck to the walls or written on chalkboards, a virtual tornado of research centering on the eye of the storm. A mirror, no different from any other, standing in the middle of the room.

What set it apart from common reflective objects were the myriad cables and wires stuck to it, each leading to devices that wouldn’t make sense to a pony not as learned as Twilight Sparkle. Said mare was basking in what was sure to be her greatest triumph. If only every pony in Equestria could be here to admire the feat of magic unlike anything the world had ever seen!

Twilight coughed into her hoof. “Except for when Starswirl did it.”

The complicated setup of magical mechanical engines and apparatus to capture moonlight and the positions of the multitude of stars in the sky was based off of Starswirl the Bearded’s original design, with what Twilight considered to be a giant leap in making the process convenient. When she’d first told this to Spike, he’d looked at the mess as if she were crazy. At least Owlicious appreciated her explanation. He’d even been interested enough to ask who Starswirl was.

The original version of Starswirl’s spell required the unicorn casting to have the positions of the stars and moon memorized, calculating the finer points of the spell to match the magic-to-gravitation effect the spell would gain from these astral bodies. Twilight’s friends enjoyed poking fun at the multitude of topics and facts she had memorized, calling her a living encyclopaedia. But Twilight could not wrap her head around that much information running through anypony’s head. Starswirl’s brilliance was spectacular, and Twilight would count herself lucky to have a fraction of his genius.

And in attempting to demonstrate her own ability to solve problems, Twilight came up with this: a series of devices set up in a way that would map out every star and the place of the moon for her. All she had to do was cast a basic version of the spell into the spire in front of the mirror and it would become her own gateway to infinite knowledge.

“The secrets waiting for me in the endless multiverse...” Twilight whispered as she brought a hoof to the smooth surface. In the mirror, Twilight saw a pony that had worked every muscle in her body to exhaustion like she never knew before. That included every part of her brain, and the ache was showing. The bags under her eyes were deep and her mane was a matted mess from lack of brushing. But there wasn’t any time for frivolous things like hygiene and meals and bathroom breaks when a splash of cold water and a few oats kept a pony going. She hadn’t figured out what to do about her aching bladder, though, so those muscles got a good workout before she needed to rush off. Spike had joked once or twice about getting her some diapers and Twilight had thrown a scroll at him, though her need to go even now was making the idea agreeable.

Despite the delays, though, the masterpiece was finished. Taking a step back, Twilight’s eyes twitched as she looked out at the crescent moon. At any time she decided to cast the spell there would be a new world. Each second ticking by created a new opportunity to gain knowledge, and her machines would record that world’s star pattern to visit whenever she wished to return. A single zap was all it took. A single, simple zap.

“Well... I have created an improved version of Starswirl the Bearded’s magical interdimensional warp device.” The reflection shot Twilight a smug look, admiring the intelligent mare on the other side. “Shouldn’t I get the first use? Spike is sleeping and it’d just be me and worlds of vast knowledge. What do you say, multiverse? Ready to see what we can learn?”

The multiverse, of course, didn’t directly respond. Twilight took that as close to a ‘yes’ as she was going to get and charged her horn with magic, filling her mind with the spell. A touch of her power to the machine and the library came alive. Gears spun into action as dishes pointed up at the sky to record the data. Twilight made a mental note to give Spike a day off from dishwashing so he wouldn’t see what had happened to their eatery.

In a flash of what looked like magnified moonlight, the mirror lit up. Twilight shielded her eyes behind a hoof from the initial blast, but jumped for joy when she saw the solid surface of the mirror ripple like water. After a few minutes of squealing yes! over and over and jumping around her creation with the excitement most ponies would expect from a filly on Hearth’s Warming Day, Twilight took a deep breath and stared into the no-longer-reflective mirror.

Steeling her nerves and blinking the sleep from her eyes, the young mare took a few steps forward and stuck her hoof into the portal. The somewhat familiar feeling of time and space distorting tingled across her leg. A sure sign of success. The fact that the mirror was glowing was an oddity, but Twilight attributed that to her set up focusing the stars and moon directly into the object rather than her mind doing the work.

“It works!” Twilight squealed. “It really works! Endless wisdom, here I come!” The final plunge was taken and Twilight fell into a whole other world. Or maybe rose? Perhaps it was more like a tunnel. Twilight could barely focus on the sensation of being stretched, pulled, squashed, and flattened all at the same time, so which direction a spatial distortion actually went was completely lost on her.

There was a moment where Twilight felt as if she were sliding through a silly straw, and the next instant she felt herself hit a wall made of stone. Twilight’s eyes spun around as she tried to determine if this new reality followed Newton Apple’s laws of gravity. Her sense of up and down realigned and she realized it wasn’t a wall she’d hit, but a concrete floor. Twilight sat up and rubbed her head, looking around to take in where she’d wound up.

Nothing seemed terribly different at first glance. As far as Twilight could tell, the porch she was sitting on was for the main house on a farm. The trees, fields, and barn she could see in the distance seemed to suggest this, even if everything looked farther apart than it really needed to. No vast amounts of infinite knowledge yet, but there weren’t any monsters that were trying to eat her. This test was going exceptionally well so far.

The next and most logical course of action was to examine her body and see if any kind of molecular rewriting had occurred. After the first trip to another reality turned her bipedal, Twilight half expected to be an octoped to keep a theme of doubling up. But no, looking down at her hooves proved that she was still a pony. That was certainly a good thing. Looking down at her flank, she saw she still had her cutie mark. She also noticed she was sitting in a puddle, making her rump damp.Twilight blinked as she realized she was wet, then grimaced when she realized she’d peed somewhere between landing in this world and now.

“Oh... maybe I should have taken a break after all...” Twilight’s cheeks flushed with the color of Pinkie’s favorite hot sauce. In her haste to complete her device, she’d skipped sleep, brushing her mane, snacks, and going to the bathroom. Now here she was, rushing into unknown lands, and what was the first thing she did? Wet herself. The creatures here would think she was a foal!

As Twilight took a long-delayed examination of her appearance, the house's door creaked open.. No doubt the occupants of this farmstead who heard her talking to herself. Twilight’s heart beat at an inconsistent rate, going between stopping and increasing its normal rate, as the door opened and out came the largest horse Twilight had seen in her life. The Saddle Arabians Twilight had shaken hooves with made her feel small, but this being must have been a few feet taller and had a bulkier body to match. It was also around this time Twilight realized how huge everything was.

The big horse looked down at Twilight after glancing around, blinking as their gazes met. The creature had features like a mare, so Twilight assumed this to be a female ‘big horse’.

“Umm... Hi?” Twilight said, her smile as small as she felt. How must she have looked to the horse, sitting in a puddle of pee on her doorstep? “I know this isn’t exactly the best of circumstances to meet, but I’m on a pursuit of knowledge and peace. Is there any chance you could take me to your leader?”

The big horse blinked a second time, sweeping her gaze across the grounds of the farm again.

“Hello?” Waving her hooves up, Twilight said, “Hey, it’s not very polite to ignore ponies when they’re talking. Can’t you at least acknowledge me?”

This earned a reaction from the big horse, though not the one Twilight wanted. Instead of talking, the horse reached down and grabbed Twilight by the scruff of her neck, picking her up and carrying her into her home.

Twilight kicked and yelled as she was lifted high into the air. “Wh-what are you doing? Put me down!” The horse still didn’t respond verbally. “I’m warning you, I know magic and I’m not afraid to use it! I’m giving you to the count of three! One... two... three!” On the cry of three, Twilight’s mind filled with a teleportation spell. Casting it was another matter entirely. No matter how much Twilight willed the magic to come, she didn’t pop out of the horse’s mouth and onto the floor. She reached up to check her horn and found it to be where it was supposed to be. Out of instinct her wings started flapping, but that didn’t help either.

Finally she gave up, realizing that this world didn’t use magic the same way her world did, if it worked at all. The realization of how helpless she was sunk in and it took everything in her power to keep from screaming. The big horse set Twilight down in a bathtub the smaller equine could have used as a small swimming pool and cried out something to the rest of the house.

Something answered back, and in a minute Twilight saw another big horse. This one had features more like a stallion. A husband, perhaps? Twilight thought as the two big horses began to converse. The issue became immediately apparent; they spoke an entirely different language than Twilight. Facial expressions and vocal inflections seemed consistent with her world as she watched them range from confused to contemplative, the Big Mare (as Twilight decided to call her) going from worried to demanding to joyous and the Big Stallion (also Twilight’s naming) jumping from thoughtful to frustrated to exasperated, respective to Big Mare.

Big Stallion looked over to where Twilight was, reaching out to touch her horn, then her wings. The gigantic hooves were too strong to push away but they were gentle with her. He spoke again, eyebrow raised, and the conversation continued as Big Mare started to fill the tub with warm water and bubbles. Twilight marveled at the fact this world could have plumbing and bubble bath like her own, but their language could lack anything that sounded like a vowel.

At the same time bubbles reached Twilight’s stomach, Big Stallion nodded to Big Mare and turned to leave, with Twilight getting to catch a glimpse of pitchfork-in-hay cutie mark he wore. Big Mare smiled down at Twilight, splashing her a little and snickering when Twilight covered her eyes. The water rose up to her chest, the bubbles tickling her chin, when the water shut off and Big Mare went about cleaning Twilight with a washrag. Special attention was given to Twilight’s scalp and rear.

Being handled like this was foreign to Twilight and her natural instinct was to fidget and twitch at the slightest touch. It made thinking about her situation difficult.

Okay, Sparkle, let’s assess the situation. I’m in a world where everything is bigger than me by a multiple of eight at the least. Bleh, soap in my mouth! The large equine beings here don’t seem hostile, but they can’t understand a word I’m saying. Judging from how they’re acting, it is unlikely they realize I’m as intelligent as they are. Ack, it’s in my eyes! Oh, it’s that tear free kind. Mom used to buy that for bath time. Wow, I haven’t thought about Mom washing me in years. Given the circumstances... focus! You can’t use magic and you still aren’t the strongest flier. How are you going to get back to the portal?

When she came to think about it, Twilight didn’t know where her portal was. In the excitement of crossing time and space, she hadn’t paid attention to what she’d fallen out of. It had to be there somewhere, though, and her machine would keep the path open for at least a week. At this point, there were two options, she surmised; try to get back to the porch and find her way home, or wait for help.

Twilight sighed as Big Mare lifted one of her legs up to scrub the underside. “Great job, Twilight. You make it to another dimension in search of ultimate knowledge and the first thing you’re thinking about is getting back. Why didn’t you plan this better?”

Bathtime lasted for about twenty minutes, Big Mare cooing and tickling Twilight every once in a while. Twilight was ticklish for a mare her age and broke out into laughter each time. She spoke sometimes, too, with a tone Twilight recognized yet couldn’t place. When Big Mare was clearly satisfied with the state of Twilight’s coat and mane she unplugged the drain and splashed the bubbles off of Twilight. Next Twilight was wrapped up in cloth, swaddled in a cocoon and carried like fillies would their favorite dolls. Only her face stuck out of the towel, so Twilight’s view was limited. Unable to turn her head to look any way but up and her pushes against the wall of fluff barely making her confinement budge, all she could do was rest and enjoy the rocking motion as Big Mare settled into a rocking chair that creaked with every motion.

Talking wouldn’t help Twilight’s situation, so she remained silent the whole time until Big Stallion came back. Finally the wrap was slackened and she could sit up, seeing Big Stallion put some saddlebags on a table and pour out their contents. Big Mare grinned and stood up, taking Twilight to their couch and laying her down while Big Stallion grabbed a package to bring to Big Mare.

Studious and logical as ever, Twilight observed what happened around her and drew a line of thought that concluded in embarrassment. The rectangular wrapping had a picture Twilight recognized as a full grown pony in a diaper, galavanting through a field to show how happy they were. Inside the case were diapers, seen clearly when Big Mare tore the package open and pulled one out. Since Big Stallion likely bought them from a nearby store, the prancing pony was likely a foal in their eyes.

The pieces clicked together and the color drained from Twilight’s face. To them, she was a foal found on their doorstep while sitting in a puddle of pee.

“No!” Twilight yelped, trying to roll off the couch. A giant hoof stopped her, however, the Big Mare nickering as she rolled Twilight onto her back. Again, Twilight realized how helpless she was as Big Mare unfurled the plastic garment and slipped it under the tiny pony’s bottom. Twilight kicked and fought, and only in retrospect did it occur to her that this would only make they think her as more of a foal. Despite her fussing, Twilight’s tail was taped into the hole and powder puffed onto her loins. The soothing smell, while pleasant, did not ease her frustration or embarrassment.

The noisy garment crinkled as the front was brought up and came to rest on her belly. The fluffy interior was a stark contrast to the cool plastic tickling her thighs, Twilight noted. Naturally she tried to remember when the last time she wore a diaper was and found the memories to be fuzzy. She wondered if they felt as huge and obvious back then as this one was with its butterfly prints and pink tapes. Once Twilight was secure, Big Mare cooed at Twilight with the tone of a mother talking to a baby.

“Probably asking if my ‘diapees’ feel good, huh?” Sighing as she kicked her legs, Twilight considered ripping the tapes off and fighting back. That seemed like something a brave pony like Rainbow Dash would do. Dash would also be able to fly away, so that didn’t help. “Looks like I’m going to have to learn to like them for now.”

Big Mare chortled at what she no doubt heard as baby babble and then leaned down to blow onto Twilight’s stomach. Cries of agonized laughter filled the house as Twilight squirmed and tried to push the giant horse away. Already worn out from lack of sleep, her attempts to bat Big Mare away were futile. Her abdomen muscles clenched and lost their energy in a matter of seconds and left Twilight out of breath when the ordeal was done. Twilight was then propped on a couch cushion as the two big horses chatted.

Again, Twilight tried to pick up on their tones and pantomiming to infer whatever knowledge she could. Big Stallion shrugged and shook his head a few times as Big Mare seemed to ask questions, sometimes pointing at Twilight. In response, Big Mare tapped her chin and stood up, finally letting Twilight see the basket-of-vegetables cutie mark she possessed. They talked some more, but all she could really pick up on was that they were worried about her in some way.

While they were conversing, Big Stallion grabbed a book from his bags along with a box of crayons and set them in front of Twilight, dumping the waxy art tools. The book was a coloring book, basic in nature and themed after a farm. He picked up a green crayon and placed it in Twilight’s hooves, guiding her along to color the top of a tree.

Twilight smirked, amused by how they were trying to catch her attention and keep her stimulated rather than the buildup of colored material sticking to the paper. “I never understood how foals liked this.” Taking the crayon and marveling at how big it was made Twilight really feel like a foal. The feeling doubled when she started to color the rest of the tree on her own. “This isn’t even close to what an actual quercus looks. It’s more like a bush on top of a big stick. Gee, the trees back home probably look like that to you.”

Patting the top of Twilight’s head was Big Stallions response before he turned back to Big Mare and continued talking. Twilight perked her ears to listen as she colored, for all the good it did. The way they spoke was just as much gibberish to her as her words were to them. At least coloring was easy, allowing her to pick up on their conversation and try to learn any words in an attempt to speak their language. It might not be infinite knowledge, but it was learning right?

By the time the entire tree was colored with a completely wrong shade of brown than a real oak tree, Twilight was starting to see the appeal of coloring books. A mental note was buried into her mind to get a few more for when foals and Pinkie Pie had to visit the library. The motion was cathartic and Twilight, a mare who enjoyed things being neat and tidy, liked staying within the lines as the field on the page took on a new life. Drawing with part of the work already done, just have to pour the color in. Next came yellow for the sun, then blue for the sky, red for the barn, so on and so forth until there wasn’t a trace of the paper underneath.

Twilight hadn’t noticed how she was tuning out the big horses’ conversation when she turned the page and her obsessive compulsive tendencies lead her along. No page could go uncolored the same way no homework assignment could go unfinished. It was only after she’d finished making a dog’s fur brown that she discovered the horses had stopped talking and were watching her. Twilight blinked up at them and they blinked back.

“What, are dogs purple in your world?” Twilight said with a smirk.

The big horses glanced at each other before smiling back at Twilight. Big Mare’s hoof ran across the page as she mumbled something. Equally baffled, Big stallion turned to look at the finished picture.

At first Twilight was confused as to what they seemed so confused about. The drawings were neat and orderly, weren’t they? She hoped this wasn’t a backwards world where messy was clean and clean was messy and just as quickly dismissed the thought, thinking back to her bath. Her ponderings were halted as Big Stallion picked Twilight up and rubbed their noses together. There was a question in his smirk and raised eyebrow and Twilight would be darned if she knew how to answer.

“If only my friends could see me now. They’d never let me live this down.” Twilight sighed as she thought back to her friends and warm bed. The weariness in her body became much more apparent as she thought of her pillow. “Then again, if they’d come along with me, you would have diapered them, too. Rarity would have a hissy fit and she’d never be able to convince you she wasn’t a foal. For that matter, how am I- waaaah!”

The string of out-loud thinking was interrupted as Twilight found herself soaring into the air without use of her wings. She floated in the air for a moment as she flapped her wings, then came back down as panic gripped her insides. The worry was for naught as she was caught with careful precision by Big Stallion’s bulky hooves.

Twilight’s eyes spun as a half-drunk smile curled her lips. “Okay... let’s not do that again.” Of course, Big Stallion didn’t understand a word she said and launched her up once more. The sensation of moving up and down so a great distance so fast made Twilight’s insides perform corkscrews. The sensation of riding a fairground roller coaster crossed her mind as air rushed around her. The excitement was a thrill, but scary.

On the third toss into the air, Twilight accepted this game. On the fourth, she closed her eyes and tried to think happy thoughts. Fifth time she started to see why some foals disliked this game, and on the sixth she found out why some loved it.

By the time the game came to a halt, a wobbly smile had found its way onto her face as the adrenaline and dizziness subsided. Big Mare laughed when she looked over at Twilight and took her from Big Stallion, and ‘bounce the baby’ started anew. Just to make sure Twilight didn’t get bored, they even passed her, leaving Twilight to spin lazily through the air as she carved an arc between them.

The game ended well after Twilight lost track of time, her bearings similarly befuddled by rolling eyes. She left her thoughts somewhere up in the air, along with her stomach. Presumably, the big horses noticed Twilight starting to act like a rag doll and decided that kind of play time was done for now. Once Twilight had regained her senses, she found that the warm bed she’d believed she was resting in for a moment was Big Mare’s hooves. The heat from her body was, Twilight reluctantly thought, better than a lot of blankets.

Huh... Well, I may not have ‘ultimate’ knowledge, but I’m learning a lot more about foals. That thought made Twilight smirk. Maybe I can show Pinkie a thing or two about foalsitting when I get back.

As Twilight thought of home, her library, and Spike waking up in several hours time to make breakfast, she realized that her surrogate brother would quickly move from exasperated worry over her study habits to full-blown panic at the unannounced disappearance. Her stomach intercepted the thought before it could blossom fully and declared, You are hungry! You haven’t eaten a solid meal in days! Feed me, Twilight, feed me now!

The metaphorical notion manifested itself as a literal grumble from her belly, one she was inclined to agree with. A new thought crossed her mind as she realized the last thing she’d eaten were some berries. Filling and even nutritious, but eating like a bird wasn’t a good idea in retrospect despite her resemblance to one. Maybe this world wasn’t blocking magic so much as she’d cast one dimension-hopping spell too many. Perhaps, with a good meal, she would regain the strength to use magic and fly.

This led to the question of how she would get something to eat. Her ‘Mom and Dad’ for the evening couldn’t understand a word she said. Granted, that would negate a great deal of Twilight’s problems, but it was still an issue. Even in her sleep deprived state, though, Twilight was a problem solver. So she figured, if she was diapered like a foal and thought to be a foal, she should get into the mindset and ask the way a foal would.

Blushing furiously, Twilight grabbed at Big Mare’s chest and made a noise between a grunt and a hum. This caught the attention of Big Mare who bent her neck down, smiling at Twilight. The next step in Twilight’s carefully thought plan involved rubbing her stomach and pointing at her mouth to indicate a desire for food. Instead her stomach beat her to the punch as it demanded something to eat a second time. The red on Twilight’s cheeks grew out as Big Mare snorted, nosing Twilight’s belly and earning another laugh.

Big Mare said something, eyes turned toward Big Stallion. The other Big Horse nodded and stood up, trotting the the supplies and grabbing a plastic bottle. Twilight had hoped for more solid food, even if foal meals were mashed fruits and veggies, but it would have been one step closer to what she’d actually eat. Her stomach had no complaints to offer and instead tried to usher Big Stallion off with another groan. This worked, to Twilight’s surprise, as he laughed and left Twilight’s view into a hallway.

Cradled in Big Mare’s hooves, Twilight didn’t have much to do besides absorb the feeling of being so small with such a heavy garment between her legs. The rocking motion was pleasant, and the diaper wasn’t anything more than fluffy. And noisy. Not something she’d consider wearing again, but it wasn’t awful. She just hoped her friends wouldn’t make too much fun of her if they caught her like this.

Twilight’s thoughts were interrupted as Big Stallion returned, a bottle of milk in his hooves. Another rumble signified her desire to eat something, her unconscious calculating mind reminding her that milk was full of protein and tugging at her legs to reach out in preparation to grab the bottle. Nevermind that it made her look more like a foal, she needed food! Her foalish antics got another laugh from the Big Horses as the milk was placed in Twilight’s hooves and the nipple slipped into her mouth.

The chewing and suckling tickled Twilight’s memories, remembing a long, long time ago when she felt perfectly safe and content. Residual memories from her newborn years, and very pleasant. Simple, without anything to worry about, knowing everything would be fine. After the weeks upon weeks of labor she’d put into her portal, both mental and physical, this rest was welcome. The warm milk flowing down her throat was fresh and made Twilight recall one of the best things about having a farmer for a friend, the freshness of everything from the apples to the cider to the milk.

The bottle, about the size of Twilight’s head, drained away at a rate that surprised her temporary parents if the general expression of surprise carried into this world. In about five minutes the bottle was empty and Twilight was full. Warmth filled her from the tips of her hooves to the top of her head. A hot meal relaxed the body, Twilight knew, and this was no different. Full of milk and warmth, Twilight’s eyelids began to droop and her joints’ aching finally reached her brain with her mental defences lowered.

“Maybe I can have a short nap...” Twilight mumbled, more to herself than anypony else. “Food and sleep are important for a clear head. Then I can...” A yawn escaped her gaping mouth as she was overcome by the need to stretch her body out. “I can get home and take a bigger nap.”

Chortles filled Twilight’s ears as Big Mare stood up, lightly bouncing Twilight as she carried her to the table where the foal supplies were laying. Plopping Twilight on her bottom, Big Mare turned and said something to Big Stallion. Twilight picked on vocal inflections for asking a question, though just barely. It took some concentration to keep both her front hooves on the tabletop to keep from tipping over, so she didn’t pay the spoken words much thought anymore.

After rummaging through the small supplies, Big Mare picked up a set of hooved pajamas. A hoofy sleeper as it was often called by infantile ponies and baby talking mothers. Twilight had just enough wits to be embarrassed, though not enough to do anything about it. Pajamas meant getting ready for bed, and bed meant sleep. The dark blue sleeper was dotted with shooting stars and comets, which also pulled at Twilight’s past and made her think of her special hoofy she threw a temper tantrum over when she was too big for it. Once in a while, irony was nice to ponies.

The sleeper opened in the front via zipper and Twilight slipped in like a dress Rarity had taken measurements for, her wings sliding through holes clearly meant for a pegasus. If Twilight had been more awake, that might have been an interesting thing to note. With how huge the diaper felt between her legs, Twilight had half expected the pajamas to be too small in that area. This wasn’t the case, and the excessive size of the diaper made the sleeper more snug. Like a hug that surrounded her whole body. “Am I ready for bed yet? I want to wake up bright and early so I can show you how smart I am.”

Even if the language they spoke didn’t make any sense to Twilight, she thought the tone Big Stallion used signaled asking if she were ready for bed. Big Mare grabbed another object from the pile and Twilight perked up at the sight. A book would always catch Twilight’s attention, even one meant to be read to a foal.

Big Stallion picked Twilight up and holstered her over his shoulder, gently patting her rump as he carried her upstairs. To the horses, the flight of stairs was simply going up one floor, but to Twilight it felt like going to the top of Canterlot Castle in leaps. This left Twilight feeling nauseous and suffering from vertigo as she looked down the steps. She closed her eyes and involuntarily whined, getting another comforting pat on her diaper.

Opening her eyes, Twilight realized the patting was, in fact, easing her worries. Not only that, her attire wasn’t The diaper was cushy like a pillow, her pajamas were keeping her warm, and the tight, hugging feeling was pleasant. But something else was easing her stresses away. That bothered Twilight, but even that troubled thought melted away in bliss. By the time Big Mare and Big Stallion climbed into their bed, Twilight resting between them, the diapered mare was without a care. Not blisteringly happy that the smile Twilight was getting from the butt-pats was enticing more butt-pats from him, but at least content.

Eventually Big Mare stopped her significant other’s playing, chastising him in some way, Twilight imagined. Big Stallion stuck his tongue out, to which the mare smiled and rolled her eyes. Perhaps she was used to this kind of behavior from Big Stallion. The two horses worked together to hold the storybook in front of Twilight, pointing to the decidedly ugly creature on the front. Big Stallion pointed to the big green thing and said something that sounded like ‘shrk’ a few times. The creature’s name, perhaps?

Twilight shrugged her shoulders and blearily blinked as she tried repeating the word. “Shrk?” she tried to say, though her desire for a vowel of some kind made it come out more like ‘shirk’. The effort got her a pat on the head and a kiss to her cheek. Through a groan, Twilight said, “Ugh, you’re worse than my parents back home.”

Storytime continued regardless of her gripes and inability to read the words. Big Stallion read the words on the pages even though Twilight couldn’t make any sense of the written word or the noises they produced. At first this bothered Twilight greatly. She saw the kid version of the ‘shrk’ talking to its parents, but she didn’t know what was going on. From what the pictures on each page were showing, the ‘shrk’ was something of a monster, terrifying ponies and acting like an ogre. Was ‘shrk’ the word for ogre?

Over time, the ‘shrk’ met a witch and this made Twilight laugh. Both creatures were classic fairy tale definitions of ugly, with the ‘shrk’ a big pimply fire breathing beast that seemed to smell so bad that even flies stayed away, and a witch covered in warts with a long pointy nose and chin. Ugly things being friendly towards another was a silly idea, one that made so much sense that it had to be funny, in Twilight’s opinion.

Big Mare and Big Stallion took that as Twilight enjoying the story, or Twilight assumed that’s what they were smiling at. They weren’t far off. Much like the game where she was tossed, Twilight was seeing why this could be entertaining. In an offhoof way, Twilight knew reading to foals taught them to speak, but she never expected to experience this form of learning from their perspective. The words for ‘pond’ and ‘castle’ started to make a little sense, and maybe even the word for donkey as she watched the ‘shrk’ ride a donkey to a tall tower where another ogre, dressed like a princess, was being guarded by a knight in shining armor.

Again, Twilight laughed at the absurdity of the situation she saw, the horses chuckling with her. The story ended with the handsome knight tossed into a lake, the two ogres marveling at how hideous they were, and the two getting married by the witch and living in a smelly swamp. “Aww, is it over?” Twilight found herself saying, tail curling around herself as she admitted it aloud. “Jeez, I’m getting way too into this. You know, you two really would make great parents. Have you considered having a foal?”

Big Mare gently shushed Twilight as Big Stallion leaned over to blow out the candles.

“Because, really, I think you both would be good at it.” Coming to rest on a pillow Twilight could have used as a mattress, Twilight sighed and closed her eyes as darkness enveloped her. “Not with me, of course cause... I’m not a foal... but it was nice...” As sleep overtook her, Twilight once again remembered home and made a promise to read more books to Spike.


Like a lot of ponies, Twilight didn’t stay asleep in a place that wasn’t her home, as the lack of familiarity made a new bed unsettling. So it was no surprise to Twilight that she awoke in the early hours of the morning with no aid from her trusted assistant.

When Twilight discovered that she was awake, the first thing she did was check to see if last night had been the weirdest dream of her life. Since she found a crinkly diaper still between her legs and her body covered in cloth, the chances of that theory holding water were slim. What did hold a lot of liquid was Twilight’s bladder, and she needed to relieve herself.

I know I’m dressed like a foal, but I am not doing that. Thought cemented, Twilight reluctantly pushed herself up and wiped the sleep from her eyes. As she looked around and found her temporary parents still sleeping, with the sun’s light creeping in through a window, she concluded two things: The first was that it was morning, and the second was that pacifiers were nice to chew on. Thuckle.

Twilight was equal parts baffled and surprised to find a dummy in her mouth. The rubber bulb wasn’t in her mouth when she went to sleep and she didn’t remember waking up to receive one. But it fit with the whole situation and much like everything else that had happened it wasn’t anywhere close to awful.

The situation reminded Twilight of her toddler years, back when having a nightmare meant crawling into her parent’s bed so the monster in the closet couldn’t get her. Looking back, it had to have been awkward for them, but they always did it anyway. Another mental sticky note formed in her head, next to ‘read Spike more books’, to remind her to get some kind of gift for them, possibly schedule a visit.

Standing up on the pillow and extending her wings, Twilight tested to see if a meal and night’s rest could get her wings going and magic stable. With a jump and a flutter, Twilight was in the air. This only lasted for five seconds, much to Twilight’s dismay. Air and magic coursed around her wings in an unfamiliar way and she dove head first into the sheets. By no means did hitting a mattress so large and fluffy hurt, but the shock set something loose. For the second time in not even a twelve-hour period, Twilight relieved herself somewhere that wasn’t a bathroom.

Though it was likely the shaking of the bed that woke the big horses up, the muffled hissing that echoed in Twilight’s ears and the crinkling from her embarrassed twitching seemed like a beacon of what a foal she’d been reduced to. The diaper drank the warm fluid up quickly, so at least Twilight wasn’t in a puddle this time. If she were to wet herself, better in a garment meant to catch it than something that wasn’t.

A pair of hooves wrapped around Twilight, picking her up and bringing her nose-to-nose with Big Mare for a cuddle. Something was said, probably ‘good morning’ or something of that nature, and Twilight found herself cradled again. With a sigh, Twilight surrendered and curled up. At least being a foal was comfortable.

The husband and wife, as Twilight’s rested mind concluded now that she thought about them sleeping in the same bed, conversed as they got up and went about the normal morning rituals for ponies. Brushing teeth, combing manes, usual things. They were discussing something, a troubling issue if the agitated tail swishes and flattened ears were anything to go by. Cues such as pointing and glancing at Twilight made it clear that she was the issue. Thinking back, she had appeared on their doorstep, matted, messy, and in a puddle of urine. All she really needed was a basket and she’d have been a classic foal on the doorstep. They’d probably thought about finding her ‘real’ mother or finding her a home, if not adopt her. The thought made Twilight smile. They really did seem quite loving. If Twilight wasn’t already grown up she might have gone with the idea.

Somewhere in her rambling thoughts, Twilight was splayed out on the bathroom sink, rear towards Big Mare as the horse unbuttoned the butt-flap and gave the padding a generous poke. The diaper was clearly soggy and Twilight’s face turned red as she was cemented further as a foal in their eyes.

Twilight was brought downstairs, cuddled and teased the whole way down and tickled a few times to make sure she couldn’t be grumpy. A blanket was laid out and Twilight was placed on her back, her legs spread for her. Instincts told Twilight to run, but there wasn’t anywhere to go. So as Big Mare pulled Twilight’s pajamas back to reach the tapes, Twilight bit her tongue and kept still. Cold air hit her soggy bottom as the used diaper was unfurled and pulled away. Big Stallion gave his wife foal wipes and powder, the former chillier than the air and sending a shiver up Twilight’s spine. This was something Twilight could definitely go without. The process didn’t last long, though, and Twilight was once again diapered and sealed in the cozy pajamas.

With a pat to Twilight’s diaper, Big Mare stood up and took the soiled diaper away to toss, leaving Twilight to her own devices. This was the first time since Twilight had plopped on their porch that she wasn’t being held. Big Stallion was keeping on eye on her as he sat at the coffee table, but Twilight was finally allowed to get up and walk. So Twilight did, finding the waddle the diaper forced on her strange and awkward, much like everything else that had happened to her. At least it fits the theme, Twilight thought with a smirk.

The question of what to do presented itself to Twilight. Now she could do something and she wasn’t sure what thing to do. Finding a way home was important, but getting there would take careful steps. She couldn’t fly with this world’s magic being unfamiliar, so that eliminated going out a window or flying up to the doorknob. And while there were many things she could have used as steps to reach either option, the horses would have caught her well before making half an improvised ladder in a well-intentioned attempt to keep her safe.

Just to make sure, Twilight filled her horn with magic and tried to levitate the pack of crayons still on the couch. Much to her own and Big Stallion’s surprise, lifting the pack up and floating it towards herself proved easy. The magic didn’t feel quite right and she doubted anything more than moving objects would be hard, but Twilight could manipulate items well enough. Perhaps all her years studying the subject made using her horn second nature, but Twilight couldn’t have cared less at the moment. She had a measure of control, at long last, and it felt good to have that back. This created multiple possibilities; opening the door with magic, showing the horses how intelligent and skilled she really was, sneaking out with greater ease under the cover of darkness.

The opportunity to show off came sooner than Twilight expected. Big Stallion called out and Big Mare trotted back, stunned by Twilight’s magical prowess as she lifted several crayons from the box and made a rainbow with them, or the best she could do with crayon and no paper. The horses were left speechless by the display of power before Big Mare collected herself and went to grab the coloring book.

Twilight took a deep breath and flipped through the pages she’d already colored and past the ones that were only lines, getting all the way to the back of the book where the the backmost page was blank. No picture, only Twilight, her mind, and a box of crayons.

“Alright, Sparkle, there’s a language barrier between you and these horses. You already look like a foal to them and there’s a predefined imagine in their minds about you.” Wiping her brow of sweat, Twilight found the sleeper made a decent emergency sponge. “You’ve caught their attention with your magic. What can you make to show them that will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are intelligent.”

A picture wouldn’t work. A diagram of anything wouldn’t look right in crayon wax and, while Twilight didn’t like stereotyping farmers, experience with Applejack suggested such a thing would fly outside the range of their comprehension. There had to be some sort of universal idea that she could communicate. It didn’t have to be big or amazing, even something as simple as saying ‘one plus one equals two’ would have been enough as long as it showed a complex thought.

Twilight blinked. “That’s it!”

Taking a green crayon, Twilight wrote on the blank page; I + I = II

Simple lines. Even if the plus and equal signs didn’t match up to this world’s versions, they would see that the lines put together made two lines. And they would see Twilight created the thought. She looked up, pursing her lips as her eyes met the confused expression of the horses. They were seeing something, at least, so Twilight wrote again.

II + II = IIII

Twilight looked up again to see wide eyes and gaping mouths as Big Mare and Big Stallion leaned down to get a better look at Twilight’s simple math. “Foals can’t do that, huh? If you think that’s impressive, wait until you see subtraction.”

III - I = II

“How’s that?” Twilight boasted, cheeks as warm as her hoofy sleeper was keeping the rest of her. “If anypony had told me I’d be doing simple arithmetic to avoid being stuck as a foal, I would have called them crazy.”

Regardless of how crazy it seemed, the horses were enraptured as Twilight performed problem after problem, each getting more complicated. This continued for some time, the only sounds in the room the horse’s bated breaths and the scribbles of wax against paper. After demonstrating her ability to add and subtract in the same equation, Twilight was really getting into it. Left unchecked, she might have gone into multiplication. The mathematical presentation was cut short by a knock at the door. All three occupants jumped at the sudden noise.

Big Mare’s legs shook like jelly as she carefully walked over to greet whoever was visiting so early. The door opened and Twilight heard a familiar voice speak in the horses’ unfamiliar language.

“Celestia?” Twilight cried out, her pacifier falling out.

Looking back to Twilight, Big Mare stepped out of the way to let a familiar alicorn’s smile into the house. Twilight didn’t care that Celestia seemed so small now, she was just happy to see a familiar face.

“Twilight Sparkle, I’m glad to see you are safe and sound.” Celestia looked at Big Mare and said something in their native tongue, to which the baffled mare nodded and allowed Celestia to come inside. “When I read Spike’s letter, I had half expected to find you covered in jelly. Instead I find out you’ve been enjoying a short getaway while these two wait on your every need.” She looked at the diaper and smirked. “Every need.”

Pouting, Twilight looked down and replied, “It... wasn’t really my choice, Princess. You wouldn’t believe what happened to me.”

“If I had to guess, you got a little too excited about finding magical wisdom and knowledge and jumped into another reality without thinking about it. The world you happened to find has foals that look like the adults in our world.” With a wink, Celestia added, “Am I close?”

“Okay, maybe you would believe it.” Once again, Twilight's cheeks burned as she rubbed the back of her head.

“If it eases you, Starswirl made the same mistake more than a few times.” Celestia looked over to Big Stallion and waved, the latter returning the gesture slowly. “You’re reminding me of him so much right now, right down to the way your nose wrinkles when you’ve been found with your hoof in the cookie jar. I hope you haven’t stolen any cookies while I wasn’t looking.”

“My nose doesn’t wrinkle!” The smile on Twilight’s face contrasted the decibels of her voice. Let her be teased; at least she was going home sooner than later. “And I bet Starswirl never ended up a foal for a night.”

Celestia’s eyes wandered up to a memory only she could see. “No, but he certainly made several ponies confused as to how a foal could have such extravagant facial hair. Remind me to tell you that one sometime, I’m sure it would make an excellent bedtime story.” The suggestion was punctuated with a poke to Twilight’s diaper. “You’re already dressed for the occasion.”

Twilight sighed, her pride deflating like a balloon when Pinkie missed at pin the tail on the pony. “Guess that explains how you know their language... I was kind of hoping I’d discovered a new world.” Standing up and letting the feeling of discovery fall away, Twilight looked down at the ground.

“You made an impressive collection of devices to capture the moon and stars,” Celestia said, cupping Twilight’s chin and lifting her head up. “I’d say you have something to be proud of.”

A smile crossed Twilight’s lips. “And I am proud, but right now, I feel really silly. I’ve been bottle fed and had a diaper change and I’m not a foal. Can we go home?”

Celestia raised a brow. “A diaper change? Wouldn’t that mean—” The sentence came to a stop when she saw Twilight rub one leg with the other, the blush threatening to change the color of her face. “I suppose it’s clear enough without me pointing out the obvious. Shall we be off?”

“Yes, please.” Twilight turned to Big Stallion to say goodbye, but paused when she saw the utterly lost expression he was wearing. Big Mare was just as baffled. While this experience wasn’t one Twilight would have ever asked for, the horses were clearly a caring couple. Coming into their lives, receiving their attention, and just leaving didn’t seem right. “Actually... can I have ten more minutes? And maybe some paper?”

Another smirk danced across Celestia’s features. “Oh, very well, but not a minute more! Your big brother Spike is waiting for you.” She spoke to the horses again at length, no doubt talking about things other than paper. The couple relaxed some while Big Stallion went and grabbed Twilight’s request from a shelf and set it in front of her. Then she motioned for Big Mare to stand behind her as when she’d been doing math.

Twilight’s parting gift took longer than ten minutes, but Celestia was kind enough to give an extension. The cause was just, in her opinion. After sorting through many crayons and finding the best ones for her temporary parents and many careful sweeps and squiggles, Twilight had a picture to present. Like everything else that she’d been put in or subjected to, it fit. Twilight’s magic was still anything but perfect, so her messy drawing of herself in her current attire and the two horses looked like it had been made by a foal.

Big Mare and Big Stallion smiled as Twilight presented the sloppy artwork, both leaning down to nuzzle and pat Twilight one more time before standing her back up and gently pushing her towards Celestia, saying what Twilight assumed was ‘goodbye’. Before Twilight could leave, though, Big Mare packed up all the foal supplies they’d had ready back into the bag and presented it to Celestia, who could help but laugh as she spoke again.

“What? What!” Twilight moaned.

“They don’t have any use for these things and decided I should take them for my ‘little sister’. Oh, stop blushing so hard, you know I wouldn’t mind cuddling in bed with you and reading to you like when you were a filly.”

Rolling her eyes, Twilight waddled after Celestia. “Just don’t put me in another diaper.”

“You didn’t say no to the sleeper! Too late, no take backs!”

“Well... the pajamas can stay.” Twilight stood on the giant porch where she’d first found herself in this world. The door closed behind them and she looked around. “So... where’s the portal home?”

Celestia, much to Twilight’s surprise, picked the younger alicorn up to place on her back, though not before giving Twilight a generous pat to her diaper. “Right through here,” she said before walking into the door.

After experiencing the same nauseating trip a second time, Twilight saw the inside of her library, still as much a mess as she’d left it earlier. There wasn’t much time to absorb the lived-in feeling of home, though, as one of the things she missed the most tackled her to the ground not three seconds after coming through.

“Twilight!” Spike cried, squeezing his friend as though she might vanish if he loosened his grip at all. “Where were you? Are you okay? Did they hurt you? Did they eat your brains?!”

“I-I’m fine S-Spike! Ack! Let me breathe!”

The death-hug relented, through Spike still didn’t let go. “If you ever, ever jump into alternate dimensions without telling me first again, I’ll never make those waffles with the syrup already inside them ever again!”

Celestia smiled down at the duo, who were now sharing in the hugging. “I think he’s serious, Twilight. I wouldn’t press your luck if I were you.”

“Those are some pretty darn good waffles, but I don’t think I could be away from our library longer than a few minutes ever again after that.” Sighing, Twilight stood up with Spike still hanging from her neck like a scaled necklace.

“That was a fairly foolish thing to do, Twilight.” Poking Twilight’s machine and letting the magical glow from the mirror die down, Celestia gave the look, a patented glare that told Twilight she had tried to do more than one pony could feasibly handle. “I don’t want any more letters from terrified dragons about big sisters vanishing into alternate realities. Are we clear?”

Twilight nodded, yawning. “As crystal, Celestia. I don’t want to be that helpless again. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I didn’t get enough sleep last night and I’d like to get a little reading down with Spike.”

Speaking of Spike, the whelp of a dragon finally realized what Twilight was wearing. “Twilight, is... is this a diaper?”

“I’d like to say it’s a long story, Spike, but it isn’t. I’ll tell you when I’m in my own bed.” Grinning, Twilight said, “Have a good day, Celestia. I’m going to hibernate for a week.”

Celestia’s gentle smile returned as she leaned down to nuzzle Twilight and placed the giant bag of foal supplies on the floor. “Have a good rest, Twilight, I believe you’ve earned it.”

With pleasantries exchanged, Twilight guided herself to the stairs and waddled away, leaving Celestia to snicker. “She didn’t even try to take it off. I swear, that mare sometimes.”

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