'What is she doing?' Discord thought as he leaned against the wall. 'She's been in there for over half an hour since the water stopped. Even the steam has stopped coming out from under the door! Does every mare take this long in the bathroom?' He thought before teleporting onto Fluttershy's bed.

Looking around, he glanced lazily at the nightstand. A glass of water half drank, or half full, a lamp with a red cover with gold trimmings. The bed was still the same; a pink and orange checker pattern with butterflies that reflected the color they were in. The sun was shining through the window, refracting in the panes and spreading the light around like a golden kaleidoscope.

He let his head sink in the pillow as much as he could before his horns made his head stop. Sighing, he looked back at the bathroom door, and, hearing nothing, grunted and got up.

Making his way downstairs, he glanced at the animals as they caught sight and smell of him and began running. Smiling a little, he regretted it when he lost his footing and fell the rest of the way to the floor. Landing as a pile of goo, he solidified as he got up. Stopping at his his shoulders he looked ahead and saw Angel smirking at him, blew a raspberry, and ran off.

"Little nuisance." Discord mumbled getting up. "I wonder what Twilight is doing? Maybe I can get a shower there," he said before pausing to listen to any noise coming from upstairs. "Did she fall asleep? Eh, whatever." He shrugged snapping his talon.

The library

Popping into existence, Discord rolled his shoulders and frowned. A large stack of books were eye level with him, and past those were even more. Climbing to the top of the stack, he squished himself against the ceiling and looked below. All the books that were on the shelves, were now in towers that reached the ceiling. Some were made into arches, others into walls of paper and ink, and walking among them was Spike carrying a rather large one.

Jumping down, he landed in front of the small drake, and, taking the book from him looked down at Spike as he threw it onto a tower of books. Spike just looked at him, the book, and then back to him before he stopped at the book again.

"You know, I was going to use that."Spike said pointing at the book up on the top of the tower. "I'm guessing you want something?" He said crossing his arms.

"Why do you always think I want something when I visit?" Discord said giving Spike a quivering lip and puppy-dog eyes. "Can't I just visit a friend?"

"I don't know, can you?" Spike said brushing past him. "Why are you here?"

"I'm just visiting a friend actually." Discord said wiggling between the towers and arches of books. "Yes I know, it's a shocker that me, Discord, is just visiting. So, speaking of friends, where's the resident shut-in princess?" He asked flipping through a book. "Ugh, a joke book? Please, my mind is a joke."

"Twilight is upstairs." Spike said beginning to climb the tower of books to reach his. "She's busy though, she said to let her finish a paragraph in a book she was reading."

"She's missing re-shelving day?" Discord asked raising an eyebrow. "When did she start reading?"

"Three hours ago." Spike said reaching his book. "It's a series. A large series, with large books. Could I get a little help?"

Discord frowned and took a book from the bottom of the pile, watching it in amusement as he slunk up the stairs, the books and Spike fell the to floor. Looking at the book in his paw, he set it on a shelf by the rail. Going up the rest of the way, he opened the door to Twilight's room and snickered.

Twilight was sitting at her desk, a book the size of dictionary was nestled in her fore-hooves, two more books of the same size were sitting to her right while three more were to her left.

Going up to the alicorn, he looked over her shoulder and made sure he put his chin on her shoulder so she would know he was there. When she didn't respond, he frowned and waved his talon in front of her face. She gave an annoyed grunt and swatted at him with a hoof.

"Twilight?" Discord said clearing his throat. "Twilight can I-"

"I'll help Spike after I'm done with this paragraph." Twilight said moving back to the lit part of her desk.

"I wasn't going to-" He was saying before she swatted at him again. "Fine. But don't expect me to warn you next time when something is attacking the town."

"Yeah, yeah, that's nice." She said. "Can I read in peace now?"

"I suppose so," he said crossing his arms. "What's a chaos god have to do around here to get a shower?" He mumbled. "Is Pinkie-"

"Throwing a twenty-four hour musical class. Rarity is helping Cheerilee design costumes for a play. Applejack is working with Rainbow Dash at the farm. Go ask Spike if he wants to do anything."

"He started re-shelving three hours ago." Discord said pointing a thumb over his shoulder. "Nothing? No response? And I thought Chrysalis was a slave driver. I'm going to bug Celestia... I may wake Luna up too."

"Yeah, yeah, just don't bother me." Twilight mumbled pulling the book closer to her face. "I'm reading."

"Yes, yes you are." Discord said rolling his eyes as he teleported away.

Canterlot Lunar Wing

'Great, did I forget my eyes again?' Discord thought as he stood still in the darkness. 'Wait, what is that?'

He looked around as he listened to a small sound, a soft breathing coming from his right. Looking down, he saw Luna's ethereal mane flowing across her bed and lighting up her pillow that she had on her head.

'I guess I'm waking Luna up. Good thing I can't die, or this would hurt.'

Bringing a can of shaving cream and a feather into existence, he saw one of her hooves hanging out of the covers. Gently taking it in a talon, he shook the shaving cream and sprayed a large glob onto her hoof. He heard a snort from her and froze, watching her merely flutter her wings, he let out a sigh that turned into a surprised yelp when he got a face full of shaving cream himself.

Spitting it out, he wiped he face and got a paw full of fur. Putting his hair back on, he looked at Luna as she sat upright in her bed. Her eyes were narrowed but she was grinning at him, giving a little wave with her coated hoof, she wiped it on him.

"Did you really think I wouldn't know if anypony entered my room without my permission?" She asked rubbing her eyes with her clean hoof. "Especially you?"

"I was hoping you'd be dead to the world." Discord said. "Now I see why ponies hate this prank. This tastes nothing like whip-cream." He wiped his mouth with an arm before wiping it on himself.

"Why are you here, Discord?" Luna asked staring him in the eyes. "In my room, with the lights off, while I'm asleep?" She said trailing off to study a hoof.

"I was trying to find your sister." He said crossing his arms. "Instead I get a smart-mouthed alicorn and a bad mood. Really, all I want to do is take a shower or hang out with a friend. Are we-"

"No." She said. "Leave me, I wish to sleep until I must raise the night."

He rolled his eyes and began to move towards the door when, smiling and rubbing his paw and talon together, snapped his tail and made a large surround-sound appear next to her bed.

As he was exiting the room, to the shock of her guards, the surround-sound began blasting dubstep. He heard her scream, fall to the floor, yell at him, and watch as her guards ran in to help her, and then after him. He was gone by then, casually walking down the hall at the opposite side of the castle.

Canterlot Solar Wing

'Oh, the joys of modern music.' Discord thought smugly as he left a trail of turkeys with each step. 'I wonder what Celestia is doing? Most likely paperwork, or, ugh, a meeting. Those are the worst. All she does is talk, all the other one does is talk, and then it's over. Just go get a coffee or something, but don't make the poor sap stand there yelling up at you.'

Passing by a window, he went back and looked out. Outside, there was an open space with hedges at the Southern end, and doorways to the North. Statues of different ponies, a few griffons, a minotaur, and a Diamond Dog were down there, but just barely visible in the middle of knee height bushes, was his original pedestal. Letting out a sigh as he remembered the time he spent imprisoned, he gave a small snort.

"Stupid Elements of Harmony... Stupid pedestal... Stupid life..." He said crossing his arms. "Why can't anything ever go right for me?"

"It might be because you tried to take over Equestria twice, your unpredictable, and difficult to talk to." Celestia said.

Looking to the side, the alicorn was staring down at the pedestal too. He turned away from it, instead choosing to walk away from Celestia and the window.

"Where are you going?" Celestia asked as she turned to follow him. "Are you feeling alright? You seem upset, or mildly irritated."

"I'm fine," he replied. "Just having a bad day is all."

"I think it is more than just a bad day. Something has bothered you and when something can bother you, then that makes me concerned."

He stopped, and turned towards her with wide eyes. She stood there, looking up at him with a small frown.

"Since when did you care about me?" He asked. "You never cleaned my statue, and you didn't even try and stop me when I got out the second time."

"Discord," she said looking at the ground. "One moment, I would rather speak in private."

He put on a pair of sunglasses as her horn came to life with magic, the light coming from it still made him squint through his sunglasses. After a bright flash, he took them off and rubbed his eyes in annoyance. Looking around after his vision cleared, his frown deepened.

"Your bedroom?" He said watching her climb onto her bed. "I've already gotten a face full of shaving cream from your sister, I don't need you to do it to me either."

"Discord," she said shaking her head. "I thought you would have learned not to prank my sister. You know she still distrusts you and you're giving her more proof not to."

"What do I care? It's not like I have anything to do today. Or any friends to be with... Or anyone to even want to do anything with me." He said as he felt fake tears start to come out. "Not a single soul wants to play with little 'ole me."

"Discord, if you named anything off I would join you in doing it." Celestia said. "I owe you that much."

"Owe me? For what? I haven't done anything but cause some minor chaos while you're in a meeting or even when you're just trying to relax."

"That's exactly it." She said. "I've grown used to the meetings, and nothing seems as relaxing as it did before. When you go into the mix, I want to laugh and scream sometimes, but I always feel refreshed afterwards." She said making his eyebrows rise to his horns.

"You like it when I cause chaos?" He said pulling his eyebrows back down. "Oh, what does it matter? I don't even want to do anything anymore. Fluttershy is doing who knows what in the bathroom after she was done showering, Pinkie is hosting a musical class, Rarity is sewing, and Applejack and Rainbow Dash are both at the farm. And Twilight... Twilight is just reading. Seriously, it's like those mares have to do those things. It's just hardwired into their brains, or they just take a long time doing it." He said throwing his arms int he air.

"Fluttershy was most likely just brushing her mane," Celestia said. "Plenty of mares have to do it if they have a long mane. Pinkie, from what I've read, likes to sing, Applejack and Rainbow Dash are just working, and Twilight is relaxing. Does that bother you because their not paying any attention to you?" She asked resting her head on her fore-hooves.

He opened his mouth, closed it and raised a finger, putting his hand down he scratched his head as he thought for a moment. 'I've seen them do this before, but this time is different. Why am I bothered by it this time? I could just make copies of them, or just go meet some other ponies to make friends with.'

"I..." He began with an unsure look on his face. "I guess I don't understand them." He drawled.

"Don't understand them?" She said raising her head for a brief moment. "What do you mean by that?"

"Like, I... This is hard to explain." He said using his paw to rub the back of his head. "I just don't get mares. I don't understand them." He said shrugging.

"Discord," she said smiling. "You're not the first male to not understand mares. You just need to look at it from their perspective."

"So I need to replace their brains with mine?" He said pulling out a large set of tongs and a salad spoon. "I can't promise their brains will be in their right bodies afterwards."

"Discord." Celestia said narrowing her eyes. "Don't you touch their heads."

"I'm kidding! Geez, I thought you said you liked my form of entertainment?" He said throwing both tools away. "But, that does give me an idea." He said stroking his beard.

He stood there, pulling at his beard, Celestia just sat their for a minute or two, she looked at him and couched into a hoof. Coughing into her hoof more forcefully, he stopped and looked down at her.

"Do you need a cough-drop?" He asked making a small baggie of cherry drops appear next to her.

"No," she said pushing the baggie away. "I wanted to know what your idea was."

"Oh, my idea!" He said floating into the air with a large grin on his face. "If you want to know, I," he stopped to point at himself. "Want you," he again stopped to point at her. "To turn moi into a female Draconequus!"

Her face immediately contorted into a look as if she had eaten something sour, his smile remained as big as it was before while he circled her.

"Discord, you may have finally went completely, and utterly insane." She said slowly. "I think my heart stopped for a moment." She said putting a hoof to her chest. "My chest feels tight, or is that my heart beating erratically? Discord... I-I feel cold." She said as she got a pained look on her face.

He stopped immediately and picked her up, snapped his tail, and teleported them to the hospital.

Ponyville Hospital

Discord watched as the doctors took Celestia away on a gurney. Scratching his head again, he waved timidly at her while she went through the doors to the emergency room.

"I guess she was so surprised she had a heart attack?" He said to himself even if he was doubting that crude idea. "It had to have been a yes. I wonder if Luna can do it for me instead?"

Teleporting out of the lobby, he went back to the castle before the paparazzi arrived and blamed him.

Canterlot Lunar Wing

Appearing on a wall, Discord took a deep breath of air and while doing so, sucked in a bird. Couching heavily, he hit his chest five times before the bird shot out in a blue blur. Spitting out a feather, he looked behind him and saw the statue gardens below. Looking ahead of himself, he saw a window with the latch undone, the window open and the ceiling inside. Grabbing onto the frame, he pulled himself inside.

Luna's bedroom is alight with small candles, and the open window. Looking around, Discord spots her bathroom door open slightly and the sound of running water.

'No steam?' He thought. 'She takes cold showers? And I thought I was weird.'

Making himself comfortable, he pulled up a chair and sat down. Facing away from the bathroom, he twiddled his thumbs as he waited for Luna to finish.

After about five minutes, the water stops, there's a bright blue flash from inside, and Luna comes out with a towel around her waist. She stopped and looked at Discord as he turned around in his seat to wave.

"Discord, why are you here?" She asked through gritted teeth.

"I need your help." He said keeping a straight face.

"Why would I help-"

"I want to be a female Draconequus."  He said biting his bottom lip.

Her angry expression melted away the instant the word 'female' left his lips, now she was smiling, her eyes watering as she leaned against a wall as small chortles began to escape. When she looked back at him, she burst into laughter that shook the room, knocked him back a few inches, and caused the window to slam shut.

"D-Discord!" She sputtered out as she calmed down. "For once, you have actually done something humorous."

"I'm serious." He said putting his arms on the top of the chair. "Can you do it or not?" He asked knitting his eyebrows together.

"Oh, you are telling the truth?" She said as her face slowly dawned a look of recognition. "I can. But what for?"

"I just want to see how the other half lives." He said. "I'm curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat, Discord, remember that." She said taking the towel off.

"No, that was the chocolate Rarity left out. Don't tell her, but I made a cat copy of Opal." He whispered to her. "So, how is this going to work? Do we need some freaky chalk ring? A sacrifice? How about a magic stone?" He said pulling red chalk out from nowhere, broccoli, and a blue stone.

"Just a clipping of a mares coat and your own." She said.

"That's it?" He deadpanned. "I always thought this complicated magic mumbo-jumbo involved a bunch of incantations."

"That's only dark magic." She said. "Or potion brewing. Now, you've got to find a mare that will lend you-"

She sneezed when he shoved a clipping of white fur into her face. She looked at it cross eyed before taking it in her magic. Grinning wickedly as he was busy taking a pair of scissors to his hide, she yanked a lock out from his chest.

He let out a loud yell as he put his paw and claw tot he bald spot. He looked up at her with watery eyes and shook a shaky fist at her.

"The next part is fairly easy," she said going to her dresser. Opening the top drawer, she pulled out a pink piece of chalk, two roses, and a black candle. "I have to make a square on the floor like this," she said sweeping the rug out from underneath him and causing his chin to hit the floor. Drawing the square, she missed some of his tears smudging part of a line. Putting the female rose head in his hands, she set the candle down in front of him and lit the male rose on fire, thereby setting the candle aflame. "Now for this."

"Through the eyes of another, the body and soul, grant him the form crafted from the aether." The lines began to glow, but the smudge was sparking, and neither of them seemed to notice. "He wishes to walk among the fairer, so let her be the carrier!"

There was a bright flash, Luna gasped, Discord tensed for a moment as he was engulfed by blue smoke that turned pink. Outside of the circle, the blue was escaping, and going through the window. After it had cleared, Luna uncovered her eyes and put a hoof to her mouth as she looked down at Discord.

She wasn't much slimmer than before, but his black mane had been replaced by a head of white hair with her black mane coming out from underneath it, her snout was shorter and her snaggle tooth was slimmer and much more sharper. Her colors were lighter, and the fluff at the end of her tail was a almost white pink.

She opened her eyes and looked around. Looking at her talon and paw, she grinned before getting up.

"It worked!" She said before grabbing her throat. "My voice! My voice still sounds magnificent, or maybe it sounds even better, I'm not sure. Oh, and I feel positively electrified, Luna! Luna?" She said as she looked at the shocked alicorn. "Luna what's wrong? It worked, see?" She said spreading her arms. "Oh, I smell horrible! Is that what I always smell like, or is that my breath?" She said as she felt her eyes water.

"T-The spell..." She said. "Something went wrong. Something went horribly wrong, and I have no idea what it was or could have been."

"S-Something went wrong?" The female Discord asked tapping her fore-fingers together. "And you don't know what it was? Now I feel scared. What did you do to me?" She asked.

"What you asked, but... Whose coat did you get that hair from?" Luna asked suddenly. "Discord, whose coat!?"

"I-I forgot!" She said backing away. "I just thought of the color white and it just appeared! Why are you yelling at me...!? I d-din't mean t-to do anything wrong!" She sniffled as her eyes began to water. "Now I feel h-horrible!"

As Luna looked momentarily at the sobbing Draconequus, she gave one last look out the window.

Ponyville Hospital

Celestia was staring at the door, waiting for the doctor to come back and release her. Thinking back to what Discord said, she shivered and the heart monitor jumped slightly before climbing back down. Laying her head down, she was closing her eyes before she heard glass breaking.

Turning around, she saw the window to her room had been smashed in. Getting up, she brushed the glass away with magic and looked out, seeing nopony, she looked back inside and didn't see a rock, or anything that could have been thrown.

"It must have been the wind." She said climbing back into the bed. "Or Discord. It's probably just his way of checking up on me." Next Chapter: The tears of... Well, tears Estimated time remaining: 5 Hours, 20 Minutes