Fluttershy flew through the astral wastes of space on the burning corpse of a fallen angel, her very being on fire and freezing cold at the same time. Before her, Queen Chrysalis laughed, her bloated cyclopean form shuddering like a jelly made of leather. Her head was the tapered form of her formerly skinny body, now swollen and strained from her own narcisism and loathing. Her power had only grown with her body. How she moved was on her own greasy corpulence, which was so vast that the very laws of physics bent for it.

"YOU CANNOT BEAT MY POWERS OF SELF LOVE AND LOATHING!"

Fluttershy's face transformed into a portal, opening a pathway through the Treacle Wastes. Twilight Sparkle flew through, her hornsaw revving and ready for action. Fluttershy spat the portal out, and it unloaded a suspiciously pungent brown substance on Applejack, who died of septic necrosis. Fluttershy then readied her weapon, the grand deodorant can known as Prettysmeller.

It was forged from the left testicle of the Devil himself, and its contents were made from the pubic hairs of Jehovah and Allah. It screamed in perpetually sweet smelling agony. She pushed the button down with her tongue whip, and a sweet smell, so sweet that it was incomprehensible, came out. Chrysalis' city-sized body instantly shrank down to the size of a pea, which Applejack somehow ate. She then exploded again.

Chrysalis came out, looking smaller. "Fools. I am no longer Chrysalis. I am Apple Chrysalis now." Her apple powers activated, and apples shot out of her black cheese legs. Fluttershy stared at them, and her eye lasers activated, sending these apples into a dimension of eternal eyes, where they finger themselves and laugh at crumpets. Still, the onslaught of these apples was relentless, and though Fluttershy was mighty and steadfast, there was no way to stop them entirely. Beside her, Twilight focused her power, preparing to ignite the air in holy fuckfire. Fluttershy held up a hoof.

"Don't worry, Twilight, I got this." With that, Fluttershy opened her mouths, and began to sing the song to finish the Changeling Queen off. Bass dropped from the sky, and continued the song. Chrysalis' exoskeleton started to bubble, and she managed to unleash an angry and futile scream before she exploded into a shower of holy fuckfire.

Rarity grimaced slightly as her horn-scissors embedded themselves in the first of bizarre starbeasts, a fountain of purple blood fountaining through the air like a rainbow of eldritch purple. Her horn-scissors cut through the very being of the huge beast, her magic already reshaping its corpse into a fabulous dress fit only for the most noble of ponies to wear.

The dress consisted of a long train of skin, so long that it became unto the tail of a comet, freezing cold anything that it dragged across. Its colour was a colour that was unseeable on the very mortal plane. It, in short, was almost perfect.

"I do believe that I shall need to find some gems." After saying this, Rarity spread her butterfly wings, formed from Jehovah's own menstrual blood and rocketed away, in search of gems. Breaching the atmosphere and summoning her mannequin steed, which wasn't really a mannequin, but the stuffed corpses of an angel and a demon stitched together in such a macabre way that even the most hardcore of metal fans would be shocked and disgusted by its blatant disregard to the laws of physics.

Eventually, she reached Mercury. She activated her horn-scissors, and they grew to gigantic sizes, each fine ivory blade the same length as a star's circumference. She cut through the measly little planetoid, killing the fuck out of it. When she saw there were no gems, her anger boiled over, and she summoned her needles.

"I suppose that I'd better not get around to stitching this planet back up so that the girls can kill the fuck out of it and resurect it again."

Rainbow Dash punched Lightning Dust in the face, tearing through the arrogant mare's cocky smirk, as she declared herself the fastest thing in the entire universe, which was a falsehood. Rainbow Dash was the fastest thing in the universe, and Lightning Dust damn well knew that.

With a beat of her mighty wings, she flew through the vast wastes of space at such a speed that she killed the fuck out of Jupiter in her haste to get to Pluto. She smirked.

"Fastest thing in the universe, yeah right. More like SLOWEST thing in the entire universe!" With a laugh, she zoomed back into outer space. With a mere thought, a cloud appeared beneath her, and she flopped down on it, going for a nap.

A couple of annoying voices from Equestria woke her up from her slumber. She awoke, to find herself surrounded by space penguin Nazis. She looked at their Führer. He was holding a laser gun of unknown function. She thought about cider.

Applejack woke up feeling miserable. She knew what this feeling meant.

Zombie Diamond Dog Communists. Her blood boiling, Applejack summoned the Boomstick Boomstick. It shot the co-host of Deathbattle in groups of three, and they were on fire. The very shotgun she wielded was so hot that her barn caught on fire, despite her being in space.

She shot through space on a raft, made of the corpses of apple demons, huge, fruity demons who plague doctors with their healthy benefits. When she landed, she cocked her shotgun, in preparation for the onslaught of Zombie Diamond Dog Communists.They came, shambling in their pack, dully muttering about the proletariat. With a frown, Applejack shot the Boomstick Boomstick, and the bullets shot out of the triple barrels, impacting with the hoard and destroying them. A couple more managed to escape.

Applejack's hind hooves became covered in an aura of holy fuckfire at a simple thought. Squinting, she could see their entire genetic lineage back to the days of the first protozoa. With a roar, she bucked the fuck out of the lead zombie, the holy fuckfire burning a hole in the very fabric of Ponyville. The remaining Zombie Diamond Dog Communists were dragged into the bowels of hell, where they are forced to be captains of industry to this day.

Not satisfied with this, Applejack took her hat off. Admittedly, it wasn't really a hat, as its fabric was made of lava, and on its insides a gargantuan war for the right to stay alive was continuously fought, but it was still wearing a hat.

"Lands sakes, could I use a drink." From the same dimension where she had imprisoned genocidal Teletubbies, she pulled her cider barrel from it. It was so huge, it had to fall from the sky, blotting out Celestia's sun and crushing Ponyville beneath its girth. Pulling the barrel towards herself, she took a long drink from it. The cider was made from the juices of appledemons, and the cider itself sang the song to end the world in a thousand, terrified voices only Applejack could hear. Applejack paid them no mind.