There were probably many proverbs for what I had done to myself. Probably the most well-known one was that I had not seen the forest for the trees, as if a part had been missing to complete the puzzle. I had forced myself to mentally believe that I was something I was not. It had only taken an instant to see everything in a different light. Many people think of that as merely a hollow cliché. How wrong they were.

I was a bit disgusted with myself. Sex, so much to the point of insignificance in a way, yet still important in another. I had tried to allow myself to fall silent within the deafeningly empty spaces inside myself. I had hurt myself. One could say that it was a violation. All these emotions needed to be expelled, and I didn't care any longer about who could see me, where I was, or who I hugged at the moment. I only wanted to hold someone and cry.

I had no idea how long I did this. All I knew that during all that time, I held one of the two ponies present to my bosom as if she was the only thing keeping me alive, and maybe she was. I had damaged not only myself, but others as well. I had used my partners. To the nameless stallions I felt some guilt, but it overwhelmed me when it came to Applejack. She had been tender; she had loved me, or was at least heading down that road, only to be used for fast and free sex at the earliest opportunity. Now all this psychological pressure which lay unwittingly on my shoulders rolled down my cheeks and onto the floor of Twilight’s house.

Everything had to reach its end, and I soon found that I could not block out the voices that surrounded me any longer. "Everything will be fine, darling.” That was Rarity’s voice, and I felt the pertinent hoof stroking my back.

“Rarity is right.” I swallowed and nodded at Twilight to show that I was once more receptive to the world. “We will help you. After all, what are friends for?” I could feel the smile on her lips. Literally – I could feel her muzzle press against the upper part of the body. Careful not to fall into the invisible void that contained my fears, I extracted myself from the mare. I sat on my knees, my legs slightly bent behind me, but this changed as Twilight let go, and I collapsed. However, my head never struck the ground. I felt weightless for a moment before I landed on soft pillows.

“Twilight, could you make us some tea?” Rarity finally asked. I lifted my gaze for the first time in what felt like an eternity. Twilight’s efforts earlier seemed to be in vain. If anything, she looked more forlorn than before and rekindled my self-admonishment. Even Rarity seemed to be more subdued than I had ever known from her. Her posture had collapsed a little into itself and somehow it was as if her mane had lost their ability to remain upright and perfectly coiffed.

Twilight nodded and made her way downwards. Rarity closed the door quietly behind her and came over to me. This was the moment that I realized that I did not sit on a pillow, but on a kind of couch that, with its noble red upholstering and gilded wooden frames, looked as though it belonged more in a castle than here. I tried to thank her for the fact that I did not lay on the ground instead of the seat, but nothing more than a croak escaped my throat.

“Not a problem,” she said and sat down near the small couch. "A lady must sometimes inform the world of her pain. At that moment, all she can hope is to have her friends around her." She smiled at me a bit pityingly. "I was in your position more than once, darling. Perhaps not as bad as this, but even small wounds can hurt. And we know both of what wounds I speak. Now you may believe it will never become better, as though somebody has pulled the earth from under your hooves. Sometimes we only need one small push, as dear Twilight delivered, for our mistakes to be revealed. Still, no matter the wounds, they heal. Some need longer than others, but they will be cured." I hesitated for a second, then embraced the alabaster mare. She twitched shortly as my arms closed around her before she gently placed a hoof on my shoulder. “There there.”

"Thanks,” I muttered. My neck felt as if I had swallowed a thousand needles; my eyes begged me to allow them to close, and an unpleasant feeling around my nose indicated that my face looked like one a person would flee from.

Finally, Twilight came back with the tea. It was a blessing for my throat and mind. I had tried to maintain the illusion where I had fled to a safe world, one where I could fit in, using every possible means of doing so with scant regard for the consequences. My thoughts digressed inevitably to Celsius. Was he only somebody I had used to fill the empty spaces?

"What do … What I do now?” I asked carefully and looked at both mares before me. The way I sat on the sofa made it possible, and I sat as tall as I felt.

"Now, Rarity has completed my order for you. It isn’t a lot and only a small step, but perhaps it’s what you need.” Twilight nodded at Rarity. In the next moment, a small tied package flew from somewhere to me, and Rarity exchanged it for the almost empty cup of tea in my hands. "As I said, it is not a lot, but you should feel like a person again."

My hands trembled slightly as the loosely tied string unraveled and the thick brown paper unfolded. When I saw what was in the package, it almost fell out of my hands. It was so simple, such a little thing and, nevertheless, exactly what I needed. Clothes. There was a bright pink blouse studded with white diamonds, the polished precious stones dazzling, and with a white skirt to match. If I guessed correctly, it would reach down as far as my knees.

“Twilight … I can’t possibly … This wasn’t in the contract. Are these real diamonds? The Crown would never pay for something like this …” I noticed Rarity twitching from the corner of my eye, but when I turned to look at her, the mare pretended as if nothing was amiss. Was it something I said? Or rather, perhaps something I hadn’t? "And thanks to you as well, Rarity, this is wonderful.”

"Um… well naturally she would pay. It is … work clothes. That’s right. Urgently required working clothes for your mental well-being."

Rarity began to gently ease Twilight and herself towards the door. "We’ll give you a moment to yourself, darling. I’ll wait outside with Twilight." A blink of an eye later and they were both outside, leaving me alone with only my thoughts for company.

And I had a lot to think about, so much so that I had no notion of where I should actually begin. During my time here, I had experienced so much and saw so many things in a new light.

I looked down upon the garments in my hands. I had lived so long without clothes, even in the cold winter months. The clothes I had with me when I arrived still lay in my cupboard in the bedroom. Although they were more or less nothing but patches held together by patches by this point, they were still there. In addition, some capes also hung in the same cupboard. Simple brown things with a woolly fringe. Naturally they were pony-sized, but two tied together easily enough kept the majority of my body warm. However, this was meant everyday use, for my own comfort as well as to make me look more friendly. Bright colors like Rarity had had often used.

I unfolded the blouse and felt the material. I was no expert, but as far as I could tell, it didn’t seem to be made out of cotton. At least it did not feel like it. Almost like silk actually. Without opening the buttons, I slipped into the blouse. The skirt had an elastic waistband and so I also managed to slip that on quickly. It was peculiar, but at the same time, when I looked down at myself, I actually felt a little like a person again. Why I felt that way, however, I had no idea. It was simply good and conjured a small smile on my lips in spite of all.

With large steps, I hurried to the door to allow Twilight and Rarity to enter again. I owed them both big hugs. "Well then … and what do we tell Melody?" Rarity’s voice rang out as I got closer.

"Now … I um …"

"The money came from your account, Twilight. Don’t tell me that you don’t want her to know that it comes from you. I know that your family isn’t poor, but, nevertheless, the materials alone must have eaten a small hole in your savings. I also know you only came to me with it because you knew I would only do it for the challenge and wouldn’t accept any payment. And all that for a mare …"

"Woman."

"Woman you’ve only known for… Twilight, don’t tell me— Darling! " I only just opened the door as a blueish aura grasped the handle. Rarity and Twilight looked a little frightened when they saw me, eyes wide and mouths open.

"Oh Melody, this looks great!" Twilight said, being the first to recover. She ran around me hastily and examined the clothes more closely. "It doesn’t fit perfectly, but Rarity still has yet to take more exact measurements. And to see something like this in person is very different than an image or a description, right, Rarity?"

“Certainly, Twilight,” she answered, an undercurrent of disapproval in her voice.

"Twilight, was it you who paid for this? " The pony before me winced and scraped with a hoof on the wooden floor. Then she nodded after a few seconds. "Why?"

"You have … You told me how long it took you to accept welfare money. And I thought if … if I told you it came from the Crown and was in accordance with the contract and your job... as if you had earned it. Just in view of …" I didn’t let Twilight go on. I fell to my knees and embraced the mare.

"It’s okay, Twilight. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s to accept all the help I can get." Twilight was my boss, but today she had shown she could also be a friend. And in turn, I should treat her like one. I pulled back my head a little and gave her a kiss on the cheek, like how I would have done to any friend who had done me such a kindness. "Thanks." I hugged her tightly again and held her for a short while before we were interrupted by the clearing of a throat.

"Now, as nice as this all is… As dear Twilight had mentioned, I should probably account for your decrease in mass?" Something was different in Rarity. I could not say what without annoying her, but she didn’t seem as friendly as she had been, but rather more hostile somehow. "Come, darling, set yourself down over there." This time I was pushed to the dressing stand by the white mare. She placed me in the middle of the dais and threw a look back to Twilight. While she had shown me a sudden look of hostility, it seemed to disappear when she started speaking again. Then with a shaking of her head, she turned away from her friend again and onto me. "Stretch your arms out, breathe normally, and stand still, if you would be so kind."

I didn’t understand what had just happened, why she suddenly wanted to check my measurements nor why Rarity had turned on me with such hostility. But to be honest, I didn’t really want to think about it. I had enough on my mind as it was.

I'm sorry! The chapter got lost in the time and space that is the translation machine. I handed it to one translator, who was really busy and I totally forgot to ask someone else for help. This should have been released weeks ago.

Yes, anyway. This marks the end of "part 1" as I call it. I know this story started out as a first person story, but the next few chapters will follow some of the ponies in Melody's life and for that, I will use third person. There is a lot going on in the background and I want to write that down too. The ponies we will follow are Applejack (expect a flashback to her night with Melody), Celsius and Twilight. Then for the finale, we will return to Melody. I first thought about cutting this short but that wouldn't be fair to the patient readers that are you. So, more pony on human sex in all its glory.

Thanks to JBL for translating and editing this chapter.
Thanks to Handyman for further proofreading and editing.